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And we will never speak of it again

RICHMOND The Lions put the foot to their Tigers collective throats, and didn't let up until the final siren. The Tigers conceded six goals in the first 20 minutes, and were never really in the contest. So much so that the Lions kicked the first 10 goals before Noah Balta slotted the Tigers'...

ESSENDON Arguably one of our finest wins in many years. The Giants, a flag favourite only a couple of weeks ago, absolutely obliterated us last season to the tune of 126 points, and early on in this game, it looked like we might be heading for a similar result. Jesse Hogan got on the end of a...

ESSENDON Zach Merrett is the best player in the AFL. Best on ground by a country mile with 29 touches and three goals that just got more ridiculous as the game went on. There's no such thing as an easy win in Perth, and despite West Coast being anchored to the bottom of the ladder for the past...

WEST COAST A bit of a reality check for the Eagles last week, being brought down to earth by a fairly powerful Gold Coast side. The lack of Harley Reid in the guts was made evident as the game rolled on, with Damien Hardwick's side putting the Eagles to the sword late in the match. The third...

I wrote this some years ago. I had intentions to make a new piece this year but work and family commitments have left me with very little time. Fair to say the still sentiments echo now, though. ESSENDON Unfortunately, the whole game will be summarised by controversy in the dying seconds...

ADELAIDE A thoroughly enjoyable game for your average Essendon fan, with the supposed "Kings of the close finish" going down to an extremely resilient traveling Crom side. The Crows kicked the final three goals of the game to seal the win and give the scumrats their first loss for the season...

WESTERN BULLDOGS God I'd love to be able to win as much as Geelong seem to. Credit to the Dogs, they never stopped trying and were coming home with a wet sail, but just couldn't get across the line. Liberatore may have played one of the best midfielder's games ever, amassing a ridiculous 19...

PORT ADELAIDE A thrilling encounter against another premiership chance, and the Power came up just short in a game where the margin never got beyond three goals. Port's engine room performed well to try and quell Max Gawn's influence, with Boak, Wines, Butters and Rozee all getting to be among...

ESSENDON Once again, a somewhat promising performance was overshadowed by a piss-weak club decision to not even bother backing the player going hard at the ball. I know there's a video explaining our legal standpoint, blah blah blah, boring. Two-Metre-Peter will be sitting out the next month...

Welcome back to Zach Merrett's favourite award to win - The Essendon Bigfooty Board MVP. In fact, when we approached him (from the bushes outside his home) to let him know that he'd won the award last year, he screamed and ran away. Probably because he was so overwhelmed with pride. This year...

SYDNEY There's a great universal joy to be had when Collingwood is made to look like a bunch of mugs. Their 16th flag unfurling was just such an occasion. The Swans meticulously dismantled Collingwood, consigning them to a winless start to the season. The Swans are worthy flag favourites right...

ESSENDON After an utterly dismal effort against the Saints down in Moorabbin, the Bombers put in a much better performance against the Cats down in Alphabet Soup Stadium, Geelong. The Bombers had essentially put the cue in the rack at 3-quarter time after Jordan Ridley suffered another quad...

Don't mind the double sash. HATE the red sponsor box. Back says "Airstage", a type of Fujitsu technology. Safe to assume there will be another sponsor joining to replace Amart.

Haven't seen the official confirmation yet but North got what they wanted and we got what we needed. Welcome aboard, big fella.

Been playing this for a couple of months now... It's a daily game where the aim is to get as low a score as possible. Obviously the aim is to test your knowledge and do it without having to Google, and a lot are much harder than you'd think. The grid resets every day at midnight, so it's a...

ESSENDON BOMBERS Despite all the good things the team has done this year, this game will be the one we remember. GWS GIANTS 25.12 162 def. ESSENDON BOMBERS 5.6 36 BEST: Literally none of them GOALS: Langford 2, Phillips, Menzie, Caldwell ----------- COLLINGWOOD MAGPIES The Pies have...

GWS GIANTS After winning 7 straight over the past few months, the Giants are starting to look tired. The damage was done in the first quarter against the Power, with the Giants conceding 7 goals before the first change. The result from that point was a formality - a 41-point lead at quarter...

Made this graphic before Hurn got rested. Goodnight sweet prince ESSENDON BOMBERS Flat. It's hard to put into words how upsetting it is to be so close and fall short again, especially against the bloody Swans. Long fadeouts once again cost us; we played well in the first and fourth quarter...

ESSENDON BOMBERS I have no words. I love Mason Redman. ESSENDON BOMBERS 7.7 49 def. by WESTERN BULLDOGS 13.12 90 BEST: Ridley, Langford, Merrett GOALS: Wright 3, Langford 2, Merrett, Guelfi ----------- SYDNEY SWANS It was fine seeing a vintage Buddy performance until you realized he was...

ESSENDON BOMBERS I would say we were taught another lesson by the Cats after our shocker first quarter against them earlier in the season, but generally, when you have a lesson, you learn from it. We clearly didn't. The game was over in the first 15 minutes and we didn't get a look in since. A...

ESSENDON BOMBERS This loomed as a huge game with massive Top 8 implications, and the Dons came out breathing fire with a brutal first quarter to get the win in a high-scoring match with the Crom. Peter Wright found his kicking boots again, kicking 3 goals, as did forward prodigy Kyle Langford...

ESSENDON BOMBERS This sport is, at times, astoundingly cruel. We stormed back in an almost Collingwood fashion in the final few minutes to be ahead with eighteen seconds left, before a rushed clearance fell to one of maybe three blokes on their entire list who could have slotted it from 55m...

ESSENDON BOMBERS There's definitely something in teams coming off the bye performing worse because we were absolute horseshit after the first ten minutes. Darcy Parish picked up where he left off but eased up as the game went on, whilst still managing 9 clearances. He will likely re-sign with...

FREMANTLE DOCKERS It was an utterly relentless GWS outfit that smashed Freo off the park last week, and resulted in Freo's worst loss under Justin Longmuir. The Dockers had no answer for GWS young gun Jake Riccardi, who slotted 5 goals along with Toby Greene's four to consign Freo to a shocking...

**** CARLTON BLUES Whilst the scoreline doesn't look too damaging, it's ultimately very deceiving. This performance would have left a very sour taste in a lot of Carlton fans mouths, who were only rescued from an utter embarrassment by the pathetic kicking for goal from the Dees, who looked to...

ESSENDON BOMBERS You'd take a 50 point win in WA any day of the week. It wasn't the greatest performance from us, but considering the blowtorch on the severely undermanned Eagles all week, it was enough to get the job done and done well. Not that the Fox Footy commentary team would know...

WEST COAST EAGLES Well then. I don't use the word "Disaster" often when it comes to clubs outside of my own, but that was an unmitigated disaster. From the get-go, Hawthorne wanted it more, and the Eagles were utterly destroyed in one of the worst defeats that I can remember witnessing. This is...

ESSENDON BOMBERS Just when I thought Daniher leaving was enough heartbreak, he goes on to boot 6 against us. We started about as well as we could have hoped for in a second consecutive interstate game coming off what seems like the 18th consecutive 5 or 6 day break, but ran out of legs in the...

I made this image before Darcy was ruled out, so... Shit. BRISBANE LIONS **** Carlton. Josh Dunkley showed once and for all why we tried so hard to get him across to our club a couple of years back, with a dominant performance that included 33 touches, 13 tackles, 6 clearances, and 555m...