Official Team Thread 🐻 Las Vegas Bears S37 Official Team Thread ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ 🎰 Congrats Millky95 B&F Winner

[Kilroy]

Rd 5 Review

The Bomber's make a 4th quarter comeback to steal the win off us.

View attachment 2051689

 

[tony]

Rd 6 Review

Warriors ruin the party in RookiePick's 250th

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present one of the most crucial awards of the night, the Best Defender award. This season, the honour goes to someone who has been an absolute wall in our defense, stopping everything that comes his way. Please join me in congratulating our very own British import, Chipmunk!

Now, I know what you’re all thinking, how does someone named Chipmunk become such a formidable defender? I mean, aren’t chipmunks supposed to be small and cute? Well, let me tell you, when it comes to defending, this Chipmunk has the heart of a lion and the reflexes of a cat on caffeine.

Chipmunk has thwarted more attacks than a medieval castle, and has probably given opposing forwards more nightmares than a horror movie marathon. His ability to read the play and intercept passes is so good, we’re starting to think he might have a sixth sense or maybe just a really good Wi-Fi connection to Ted Lasso's playbook.

In fact, he’s been so good that King Charles has personally asked him to be one of his Royal Guards and deal with idiots like the one below. And if that wasn't enough, Donald Trump is looking to hire him as his personal bodyguard. Now that's some serious recognition.

Rumour has it, his secret training regimen involves dodging hawks in the wild, which has clearly paid off on the field. His dedication, agility, and fearless approach to defense have made him an indispensable part of our team.

So, without further ado, let’s give a big round of applause to our Best Defender of the season, Chipmunk! Congratulations, mate you’ve earned every bit of this award.

 

[tony]

Rd 7 Review

We lost the local derby to the Rats after they piled on a 10 goal 2nd quarter.

 

[tony]

Rd 8 Review

We made it 4 loses in a row after losing to the Roys at Bingo Qooty

 

[tony]

After 8 Rounds, Tandy is now in front, closely followed by Millky95 and Cap. Test Tickle has surged up the leaderboard after a couple of man of the match performances in a row and RonnieRaven gets his first votes, will he make a big comeback again in the 2nd half of the season, like last season.

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

View attachment 2051693

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present one of the most crucial awards of the night, the Best Defender award. This season, the honour goes to someone who has been an absolute wall in our defense, stopping everything that comes his way. Please join me in congratulating our very own British import, Chipmunk!

Now, I know what you’re all thinking, how does someone named Chipmunk become such a formidable defender? I mean, aren’t chipmunks supposed to be small and cute? Well, let me tell you, when it comes to defending, this Chipmunk has the heart of a lion and the reflexes of a cat on caffeine.

Chipmunk has thwarted more attacks than a medieval castle, and has probably given opposing forwards more nightmares than a horror movie marathon. His ability to read the play and intercept passes is so good, we’re starting to think he might have a sixth sense or maybe just a really good Wi-Fi connection to Ted Lasso's playbook.

In fact, he’s been so good that King Charles has personally asked him to be one of his Royal Guards and deal with idiots like the one below. And if that wasn't enough, Donald Trump is looking to hire him as his personal bodyguard. Now that's some serious recognition.

Rumour has it, his secret training regimen involves dodging hawks in the wild, which has clearly paid off on the field. His dedication, agility, and fearless approach to defense have made him an indispensable part of our team.

So, without further ado, let’s give a big round of applause to our Best Defender of the season, Chipmunk! Congratulations, mate you’ve earned every bit of this award.

View attachment 2051694

Exquisite imagery. Congrats Chip, held the rear end together this year!

 

[MWPP]

View attachment 2051693

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present one of the most crucial awards of the night, the Best Defender award. This season, the honour goes to someone who has been an absolute wall in our defense, stopping everything that comes his way. Please join me in congratulating our very own British import, Chipmunk!

Now, I know what you’re all thinking, how does someone named Chipmunk become such a formidable defender? I mean, aren’t chipmunks supposed to be small and cute? Well, let me tell you, when it comes to defending, this Chipmunk has the heart of a lion and the reflexes of a cat on caffeine.

Chipmunk has thwarted more attacks than a medieval castle, and has probably given opposing forwards more nightmares than a horror movie marathon. His ability to read the play and intercept passes is so good, we’re starting to think he might have a sixth sense or maybe just a really good Wi-Fi connection to Ted Lasso's playbook.

In fact, he’s been so good that King Charles has personally asked him to be one of his Royal Guards and deal with idiots like the one below. And if that wasn't enough, Donald Trump is looking to hire him as his personal bodyguard. Now that's some serious recognition.

Rumour has it, his secret training regimen involves dodging hawks in the wild, which has clearly paid off on the field. His dedication, agility, and fearless approach to defense have made him an indispensable part of our team.

So, without further ado, let’s give a big round of applause to our Best Defender of the season, Chipmunk! Congratulations, mate you’ve earned every bit of this award.

View attachment 2051694

Your mob totally robbed you tony
(Well done Chipmunk )

 

[tony]

Rd 9 Review

The Hawks make in 5 losses in a row for us

 

[tony]

Rd 10 Review

We finally snapped our losing streak with a big 53 point win over the Dragons

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present the Best Midfielder award. It was a stacked field for this award and it could have gone to any number of people but for this year, the honour goes to none other than Tandy!

Tandy has been an absolute force in the midfield, making the most tackles in the team. We suspect he was using these opportunities to sell his opponents some old electronics from the 1980s while he had them wrapped up. Who wouldn't want a vintage Walkman or a classic Commodore 64 mid-game?

He also received the most free kicks in the team. Rumour has it, the umpires just couldn't resist his charm or perhaps they were hoping to score a deal on a retro VCR.

Let's give a big round of applause to our Best Midfielder, Tandy!

Tandy was robbed of an All-SFA spot this season so we decided to write him a song, to the music of the Candy Man from Willa Wonka.

Tandy Man

(Verse 1)
Who can fix your old tech,
Make it play like new?
Takes you back to '80s,
With a sly little clue.
The Tandy Man, oh, the Tandy Man can!

(Chorus)
The Tandy Man can 'cause he spruces up the past,
And makes your gadgets feel good.

(Verse 2)
Who can break a tackle,
Win a free kick fast?
Then hawk you a computer,
From an age long past?
The Tandy Man, oh, the Tandy Man can!

(Chorus)
The Tandy Man can 'cause he spruces up the past,
And makes your gadgets feel good.

(Bridge)
In his retro shop,
With its Soviet flair,
He’s got TVs and computers,
Tech beyond compare.
Crafty deals, he’s a master,
Nothing beats his price blaster!

(Verse 3)
Who can sell a Walkman,
Right before the goal?
Out on the Qooty field,
He’s got a deal for you.
The Tandy Man, oh, the Tandy Man can!

(Chorus)
The Tandy Man can 'cause he revives old tech,
And makes it feel brand new.

(Verse 4)
Who can turn a broken telly,
Into pure delight?
Sell you ancient tech,
Morning, noon, and night?
The Tandy Man, oh, the Tandy Man can!

(Chorus)
The Tandy Man can 'cause he revives old tech,
And makes it feel brand new.

(Outro)
On the Qooty field, he roams,
Selling relics from his home,
For the Las Vegas Bears,
He’s a legend in his own.
The Tandy Man, oh, the Tandy Man can!

(Chorus)
The Tandy Man can 'cause he mixes old with gold,
And makes your gadgets feel good.

 

[Chipmunk]

Your mob totally robbed you tony
(Well done Chipmunk )

Oh for sure. I didn’t get All-SFA for starters!

 

[tony]

Rd 12 Review

We decided winning was too good for us, so back to losing we go. A 40 point loss to the Demons.

 

[tony]

Rd 13 Review

Shadow Man kicks a last minute goal to win the game in Dingster's 500th

 

[MWPP]

Tandy was robbed of an All-SFA spot this season so we decided to write him a song, to the music of the Candy Man from Willa Wonka.

That was true daylight robbery
For those who may not be aware - Tandy was overlooked in favour of at least three people who were selected between 1-6 fewer times by the committee teams

On a happier note - nothing can take this award and this song away from Tandy

Well done Tandy, and may this be the first of many awards in coming seasons

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Every season, someone inevitably asks why the main award is called the Mateflon Medal and why it looks like a frying pan. So, I dug into the Bears history books to find the answer. Here's what I uncovered:

Back in the day, @Matera92 was our captain. Ever the humble man, he decided the award needed a name. Naturally, he named it after himself. I mean, why let modesty get in the way of a good legacy? Now, as for why the medal is shaped like a frying pan, the story is as simple as it is classic.

As the legend goes, Matera was preparing himself for the Best and Fairest presentation when he realised he had forgotten to buy a new medal for the winner. In a state of mild panic, he scanned his house and found a frying pan on the counter with some leftover spaghetti bolognese in it. In a stroke of genius (or desperation), he grabbed it on his way out and presented it to that night's winner. The rest, as they say, is history.

 

[MWPP]

Incredible skills and flair?

I appreciate the signing on bonus. Thanks for the warm welcome everyone.

Ruor has it that the signing on bonus was blown during your recent overseas trip (which included a stopover in Vegas)

But not to worry, Chipmunk /Chippybet remain connected to the Chess industry and continue to boost our salary qap

Welcome aboard again 6S

 

[tony]

Millky95 and Cap have gapped the field with Tandy just close enough if he can poll strongly from here.

In the other showdown of the night Art Vandelay_ has a 7 vote lead over Matera92

 

[MWPP]

Oh for sure. I didn’t get All-SFA for starters!

You and I had amongst the worst Q scores amongst our team too particularly including finals

JoshWoodenSpoon who won whatever the TFLUA is these days complete with shiny badge (which might have been lost in the mail) was also stiff

Well deserved though- those extra nuts in your cheeks ended up being enough to win the decision makers also known as tony ‘s mob over

 

[tony]

Rd 14 Review

The Gumbies get the win due to their superior accuracy at goal

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Millky95 and Cap have gapped the field with Tandy just close enough if he can poll strongly from here.

In the other showdown of the night Art Vandelay_ has a 7 vote lead over Matera92

View attachment 2051730

Standard. Expected. Not surprised at all.

Moral of the story here skip. Top 6 while having to play both wings all season to compensate for M92's shitness, if you gave me FF like I asked for then I'd win this shitty little pan and use it to make tomorrow's celebratory hungover bacon, eggs and waffles.

But alas, to stop us from taking the absolute Pi55 in the SFA and winning by too much you hold me back playing 2 positions at once.

As for you Matera92 being bested by me is nothing new, it is your level, but Dingster is 3000 years old and is better than you. ****! Chipmunk is a rodent among bears and is also better. Just retire already.

 

[tony]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to present the Best Forward award. This season, the honor goes to none other than JoseMourinho!

Now, we all know Jose is famous for his "parking the bus" strategy, usually a tactic reserved for the backline. But this season, he decided to park his bus in the forward line and to great effect. By pinning his opponents under his bus, Jose roamed free, kicking goals and providing goal assists with ease. He scored a very accurate 26 goals and 7 behinds for the season.

Of course, we couldn't mention Jose without bringing up his iconic quote: "I prefer not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble. In big trouble. And I don't want to be in big trouble." He probably doesn’t want to speak tonight because he might accidentally reveal that he’s been taking driving lessons from Matera92

Let's give a big round of applause to our Best Forward, JoseMourinho!

 

[MWPP]

You know it’s a star-studded forward line when Cap ‘s impressive 70 goal season and being our leading goalkicker by a country mile isn’t enough to win best forward

Well done and well deserved though JoseMourinho - beat most of your stronger, older, more experienced /fancied opponents all season (and in fact, was our best head to head performer this season in any slot) and kicked many goals in your own right despite Cap, Dingster and I stealing multiple majors from you too

 

[tony]

Rd 16 Review

Bears make big comeback with 10 goal quarter leading to win over Dragons

 

[MWPP]

Time for dessert everyone. My shout!