Best sledge ever. Nominations.

[Gough]

My favourite has always been the old fella at Adelaide Oval who asked Merv how many wickets he'd taken since Perth (it was one) and said to him after Merv responded with the reverse Churchill, "Well you can't f***ing count either".
For purposes of this thread I think the Voss brothers can be honorary cricketers, with Michael "Vaughan" Voss telling Brett "Lee" Voss that "my dad f***ed your mum last night".
Nominations end when there are enough good ones and we'll put it to the vote, club stories particularly welcome.
P.S. Any interest in a cricket board footy tips competition?

 

[LukeParkerno1]

Even though it's average language the famous Eddie Brandes one is a pearler.

 

[Drugs Are Bad Mackay?]

Who was it that came out to bat at No 11 in a tour game vs Australia in the lead up to an Ashes series?

He played and missed at the first couple and copped some shit from the slips cordon for being rubbish.

"Who'd you expect?" he responded. "Don Bradman?"

 

[Marcus DuQuesne]

Not best ever but in a club game in Sydney I was keeping with Greg Matthews batting...plays and misses outside off stump and I give the Obligatory "ooohAhhh ya can't bat type of remark..He turned around and goes "Shut up man. You just the Garbage Collector do your job". I must admit I was deeply hurt as I had a very highly paid job at the time ...garbage collector indeed!
Must say a lot of these so called sledges in Test Cricket are more Myth than truth but they make good copy.

 

[Mockcockpit]

I opened the batting one day and got a first ball duck. As I was trudging off, head down, some smart arse piped up with "Do you bowl?". I looked up to see who it was and it was our number 3!

 

[Richard Pryor]

"YOU WANNA GRAB SOME MORE PEOPLE, YOU WANNA GRAB SOME MORE PEOPLE. $@%& YOU MARLON."

 

[big_e]

In a Sheffield Shield match Steve Waugh was taking his time getting ready to face his first ball.

Jamie Siddons had enough and remarked: “For f***’s sake, mate, it’s not a f***ing test match!”.

To which Waugh replied: “Of course it’s not… You’re here”.

Or, one which is denied by Rod Marsh:

Ian Botham came out to bat and was greeted by Rod Marsh who said: “G’day Ian. How’s your wife and my kids?” Botham replies: “Wife’s fine, the kids are [banned word]”

Honestly, old mate's had five years to think of a response to a sledge about Candace, which he must have known was going to come eventually. A response like Beefy's would have ended it forever.

 

[archibald]

Warner calling De Kock a 'f***ing sook' for an hour. Riveting stuff.

On a serious night Merv Hughes yelling 'tickets please' after dismissing Miandad who had called him a fat bus driver was pretty good.

 

[Gough]

Not a sledge but Eric Hollies is supposed to have said after he dismissed Bradman for a duck in his last Test, "Best fookin' ball I bowl all season and they're all talking about him".

 

[Geelong_Bisons_#36]

I'm not sure who this was, possibly Viv Richards with Merv bowling but happy to be corrected if someone knows the right people.
Anyway it is one of my all time favourites.

Merv bowls to Viv, plays and misses.
Merv holds up ball to Viv, "It's red, shiny and has stiches down the middle of it".
Next ball Viv hits him out of the ground.
"You know what it looks like, go and effing find it".

Classic

 

[Richard Pryor]

I'm not sure who this was, possibly Viv Richards with Merv bowling but happy to be corrected if someone knows the right people.
Anyway it is one of my all time favourites.

Merv bowls to Viv, plays and misses.
Merv holds up ball to Viv, "It's red, shiny and has stiches down the middle of it".
Next ball Viv hits him out of the ground.
"You know what it looks like, go and effing find it".

Classic

Was English cricketer Greg Thomas.

Richards was also reputed to be the perpetrator of one of the more visual sledges in the game's history. "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces," said Glamorgan's Greg Thomas after beating him outside off stump a couple of times. "You know what it looks like. Now go and fetch it," retorted Sir Viv, as the very next ball sailed into Somerset's River Tone.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/337943.html

 

[Cleavy]

 

[Marklar_33]

I always enjoyed James Ormond’s call to Mark Waugh of “At least I’m the best cricketer in my family”

 

[ioppolo]

I always enjoyed James Ormond’s call to Mark Waugh of “At least I’m the best cricketer in my family”

Didn't some West Indian do that?

 

[Carbine Chaos]

Bloke was just blocking ball after ball in a game at school so my mate yelled out "Plenty of gaps in the air" from deep square. Holed out to mid on the next ball trying to hit over the top.

It was such a shocking sledge that, when it worked, had us all in stitches.

 

[Shane Sheridan]

I always enjoyed James Ormond’s call to Mark Waugh of “At least I’m the best cricketer in my family”

Adam Parore's to Mark Waugh was better

 

[Dadda Dave]

One of the srilankans said to Healy "why are you so fat " Healey .. " im fat because every time i banged your mother she gave me biscuits.

 

[avishka5]

I always enjoyed James Ormond’s call to Mark Waugh of “At least I’m the best cricketer in my family”

few years ago i was at BBL game between strikers and Star at AO. There was some loud mouth bogan yelling abuse to every stars player. Clive Rose got the brunt of it but he repeated that sledge to Dave Hussey and Huss turned around had a little smile on his face.

 

[avishka5]

One of the srilankans said to Healy "why are you so fat " Healey .. " im fat because every time i banged your mother she gave me biscuits.

wrong. Mcgrath said it to a Zimbabwean player.

 

[Dadda Dave]

Was Opening the batting for a club in central Queensland my batting partner said to the opening bowler who was really quick "i didn't know you bowled spin . He went on to take all 10 wickets for about 40 runs and went on opening the bowling for a club in Brisbane .

 

[LukeParkerno1]

wrong. Mcgrath said it to a Zimbabwean player.

Eddie Brandes,

mentioned it earlier, didn't really want to put the actual sledge on here as it contains some language.

 

[Dadda Dave]

wrong. Mcgrath said it to a Zimbabwean player.

I was close pretty funny sledge.

 

[frankrizzo]

One of the srilankans said to Healy "why are you so fat " Healey .. " im fat because every time i banged your mother she gave me biscuits.

You are getting your sledges mixed up.

The fat one was eddo brandes, the healy one was him telling warne to put a mars bar on a good length if he wanted to get arjuna out of his crease.

Warne would have eaten it long before he got to his bowling mark anyway but nice idea.

 

[Dadda Dave]

You are getting your sledges mixed up.

The fat one was eddo brandes, the healy one was him telling warne to put a mars bar on a good length if he wanted to get arjuna out of his crease.

Warne would have eaten it long before he got to his bowling mark anyway but nice idea.

Good sledges aye.

 

[Dadda Dave]

What was the sledge S.Waugh said to a west indian bowler ? I remember reading something in one of his books .something about his lips ?