Funniest crowd comment you have heard at a Lions game

[brutus76]

"Should be working in the deli at Coles or Woolies for butchering the football"

 

[Doc Hattori]

Supporter to a handball happy player ..."Have you got thongs on xxxxx (Name)

 

[lionsrules]

Going back a while now. Brisbane V collingwood and troy Selwood dropped a mark and a lions supporter yells out.... and ... "ball handling skills of a lesbian" fair bit of laughter from part of the section. Selwood was brought off the field too for that shocker.

 

[Berrygood]

Not a lions game but third day of an ashes test at the gabba.

Tremlett was bowling a very ordinary spell, his mate at the other end wasnt much better. Tremlett had the missfortune of fielding between overs in front of us at square leg. We gave him hell every time, we had some beauties. The few that i still remember clearly that got a good crowd laugh were

'Hey tremlett, ya little brother wants his shirt back.' He did like a tight shirt.
And
'Hey tremlett, do you breath in or out when ya bowl', that was mine.
And
'hey tremlett, tell cooky (then captain) tell cooky to put a fast bowler on' , that was mine, never prouder.
After that you could see tremlett busting his gut trying to bowl faster but ended up spraying them everywhere. Warner got a ton that day. Tremlett never played another test.

I think the 'Hey (insert name), do you breath in or out when ya kick' could work as a distraction to the right player while having a kick at goal. Should get a laugh too. Feel free to use, especially against the filthy pies.

 

[mikey127]

Last Friday night after yet another Max King

12

Max King

Age

24

Ht

202cm

Wt

100kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

7.3

2star

K

4.7

2star

HB

2.6

2star

M

2.7

3star

T

0.7

3star

G

1.4

5star

D

7.3

2star

K

4.7

2star

HB

2.6

2star

M

2.7

3star

T

0.7

1star

G

1.4

5star

D

8.0

2star

K

5.2

2star

HB

2.8

3star

M

2.8

3star

T

0.6

3star

G

1.4

5star

miss

'More misses than a Mormon husband.

 

[BRAB]

I regularly make hilarious jokes at the football

 

[Nunez]

I regularly make hilarious jokes at the football

Doubtful.

 

[Viceregal]

I regularly make hilarious jokes at the football

Doubtful.

Since it is kind of hard to tell the reaction to BRAB's jokes, quips, puns, quirks, stories and general raconteur-ness in an online forum perhaps we should inquire at the source ...

So, BRAB, we will grant you the 'regularly' element since you are the one making the comments ... the question is when you make the jokes, is it

• only you that laughs while surrounded by silence
• only you that laughs while those around you groan loudly while throwing empty chip boxes at you
• everyone around you laughs or
• the people who sit near you wait with eager anticipation for the next witticism that flows from your lips so they can tweet them without attribution and regale their followers with their insightful and or cutting repartee and the only problem they have is they are laughing so hard that the tend to miss the next few passages of play?

If any of the posters sit near to BRAB on a regular basis and are able to provide corroboration to his reply rock on.

 

[Tom14]

When Jarred Brennan was lining up for goal from 50m out on the boundary line "This could go ANYWHERE!!!"

 

[BRAB]

the people who sit near you wait with eager anticipation for the next witticism that flows from your lips so they can tweet them without attribution and regale their followers with their insightful and or cutting repartee and the only problem they have is they are laughing so hard that the tend to miss the next few passages of play?

This is the most accurate description of my football going experience I have ever seen.

 

[irel]

I regularly make hilarious jokes at the football

Constantly yelling out "chewy on your boot" is getting bit old BRAB. Need some new material.

 

[CarterS]

Anyone remember Scotty Bamford? Fitzroy and Brisbane player. A bit like Forrest Gump he couldn't do much but boy was he fast. I remember he was running down the wing one day, 1997 season, and someone yelled out "You think he's fast, should have seen him when he lost his kid at the shops!"

 

[Nunez]

Constantly yelling out "chewy on your boot" is getting bit old BRAB. Need some new material.

There's a kid in my section who says that every time an opposition player is having a shot. Surprisingly works more often than not!

 

[Elixuh]

There's a kid in my section who says that every time an opposition player is having a shot. Surprisingly works more often than not!

I'm not a kid, I'm 14 years old. leave me alone

 

[Nunez]

not a kid, I'm 14 years old. leave me alone

Omg! I should have known it when I overheard her say "heh heh heh, oh that BRAB "

 

[cmt26]

Overheard in the Lions section at the Dee's game at the MCG earlier this year.
"Oh Steven May

1

Steven May

Age

33

Ht

193cm

Wt

101kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

14.7

4star

K

10.5

4star

HB

4.2

3star

M

5.1

5star

T

1.5

3star

MG

307.3

4star

D

15.5

4star

K

12.1

5star

HB

3.4

2star

M

3.4

3star

T

0.5

1star

MG

378.4

5star

D

12.4

4star

K

8.8

4star

HB

3.6

3star

M

3.2

4star

T

1.8

4star

is back, I was wondering why there were so many security guards on the fence tonight."

 

[Bucking Beads]

Overheard in the Lions section at the Dee's game at the MCG earlier this year.
"Oh Steven May is back, I was wondering why there were so many security guards on the fence tonight."

This is very good areas.

 

[Kapital city TIGER]

At the Gabba 2010 Bris vs the not very mighty at all that year Tigers. Neither team was much chop that year but we had the wood on you.
It was the year you had big name signing Brendon FEVOLA. In his prime (kg wise anyway)
He had NOT endeared himself to the locals as far as I could tell.

After another failed lead he took a bit of a practice dash between play out of the goal square and; I'm sure from the Brissy cheer squad, came:

"Yeah you BETTA go for a run you fat Ommpah Loompa!"

whole crowd of both teams pissed themselves.
Still brings joy.

 

[mikey127]

One of my best sledges was to Nick Riewoldt one game.



'7Kms away from 3 premierships'