Blaze Storm
Brownlow Medallist
Good evening everyone,
I'm relatively new to this media caper, but when I had the opportunity to interview one of SFA's most enigmatic characters, I simply had to jump at the chance. This is a character so mysterious that some say he doesn't even exist. In fact some say his avatar and name closely resemble that of another poster in the league and that they may actually be one and the same person!
Personally I can't see how anyone could see a link between these two avatars, the one on the left is a crow whereas the one on the right is very obviously a raven.
I know that this could be the lead of a lifetime, so I arranged to meet this allegedly fictional person in a coffee shop in a small side street behind a local fish and chip shop, both because:
1. There was a distinct possibility that this could be a crazy ploy by brahj to convince me to perform a coup and I didn't want him to meet me in a dark alley.
(shudder)
2. If he never showed up I could eat some fish and chips and it wouldn't be a waste of my one allocated day that I'm allowed out of my cage per month. I think it was Brunswick? But who knows I was under the influence of... coffee? Let's go with coffee.
In walks a fat man squeezed into what appeared to be an unusually small Santa outfit without the beard. Odd attire, I'll admit, but I've seen many other strange outfits around dragon island. I swear I once saw roo2macca walking around wearing nothing but a half-squeezed orange.
What follows is a transcript of our conversation, as told from the haunted tapes I found in the woods. And then I overwrote them because do you know how hard it is to find blank cassettes these days? I KNOW RIGHT?
BS: I have the unbelievable honour of hosting the brilliant Scorpus Alias , thank you for making yourself available on such short notice.
SA: No worries, I wasn't aware I was this highly sought after for interviews for the... *furiously Googles* ... Scottish Football Association
BS: There's been a lot of talk lately about Alias accounts, what with George 's name change, accusations that BRAB has aliases posing as "anyone who agrees with BRAB", that EJW is a clever alias for Fryer Tuck, and that everyone in SFA is apparently actually Blacky. How do you feel about the concept of Aliases in SFA?
SA: Well I don't understand why you'd even need an alias. Surely everyone is just posting as themselves? There's literally no reason to make a separate alias account just to make the alias agree with your posts, especially if your posts are high quality. Only the worst posters would have alias accounts.
BS: Let's get right down to brass tacks here- Are you in any way related to fellow Dragon's rookie Scorpus , and if not, why the name similarity?
SA: I have never heard of this "Scorpus" fellow before. Literally never had anything to do with him. To be honest I don't even know what a "rookie" is. I think the similarity is purely coincidental.
Is this other Scorpus good? I guess if there's a name similarity you'd hope the person was awesome. I'd be pretty happy if I was called George Michael, but rather disappointed if I was called Reinhard Heydrich or Heinrich Himmler. I'm just gonna guess Scorpus is more a fun pop star than a Nazi directly responsible for concentration camps. There's obviously no in between there.
And just to remove any doubt, here's my drivers license to prove we are not the same.
BS: Aside from your Dragons team-mates, who are a given, who else do you rate (posting wise) in this competition so far?
SA: Dragons? What are you on about, I don't know any dragons. They're not even real for Christ's sake! Though between you and me, I'd be a dragon if whatshername from Game of Thrones would ride me, if you catch my overt sexual innuendo. As for other posters, I assume you're a poster Blaze? If so I'll go with you. You seem pretty nice.
BS: I'm a Dragon...
SA: Oh right! Well since I know only you, and you're ineligible, I guess I don't rate anyone. What's this league about, again?
BS: Qooty.
SA:
BS: How do you respond to the accusations that you are technically not on any team lists and so not really a qooty player at all?
SA: Not on any team lists? I'm offended. I'm a proud member of my local bocce club. Of course I'm on a team list, there's no 'technicality' about it.
BS: Did you feel personally aggrieved by your omission from Sterge 's list of rookies? Or was it more of a generalised feeling of resentment directed at everyone?
SA: I've never won an award in my life, not even a participation award in school for attending the swimming sports (every other kid got one, but maybe because I was deemed "too fat to dive" they decided to scrub me from the record books). So of course I was outraged to learn just five seconds ago that I wasn't considered for some award I've never heard of. Disgraceful.
BS: Why is it that no-one wants Frankston Rover to be admin? Is it because all Hawthorn supporters are genuinely shit blokes, or is it a wombat thing?
SA: I went to Frankston once and it was shit, so no doubt there are some issues relating to that fact.
BS: What is your opinion on #rednesday, is it the best idea since the dawn of man, or simply since sliced bread?
SA: Redheads? Are we talking about the matchstick brand, my penis, or redheaded women?
BS: Obviously readheads.
SA: Oh right, well that makes sense. And these redheads are posted on a Wednesday for all to admire? Well if the redheads make my redhead more redheadded then I can't complain. Though I'm not sure why you'd restrict that awesome concept to just one day of the week.
BS: The other day I was wandering down the street and thinking to myself how good an idea it would be to have a machine that made toasted sandwiches all by itself, I mean not like a sandwich press, but one where you could feed bread into a chute or something and cheese into another and it would just automatically assemble and cook toasted cheese sandwiches all day long. Having said that, who do you think is the most overrated poster in the league?
SA: You've slipped me a piece of paper, and on it reads "Scorpus". I assume you're referring to the other guy who is in no way related to me.
BS: Thank you for your time, Scorpus Alias. Scorpus isn't returning my calls, so if you run into him, tell him he's dead to me. (Just kidding, please call back, I miss your voice)
SA: I've never met Scorpus, and I will never run into him. We live in completely different places. We are not related in any way. Pure coincidence. In an unrelated note, do you know how to get from here to the costume store? I have to return a completely different outfit not related in any way to what I am wearing right now, and in any case, I'm just asking for a friend too, of course.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well there you have it, people. Riveting stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dumpster behind Blacky's place to crawl through. HaroLad won't beat me to it this time!
I'm relatively new to this media caper, but when I had the opportunity to interview one of SFA's most enigmatic characters, I simply had to jump at the chance. This is a character so mysterious that some say he doesn't even exist. In fact some say his avatar and name closely resemble that of another poster in the league and that they may actually be one and the same person!
Personally I can't see how anyone could see a link between these two avatars, the one on the left is a crow whereas the one on the right is very obviously a raven.
I know that this could be the lead of a lifetime, so I arranged to meet this allegedly fictional person in a coffee shop in a small side street behind a local fish and chip shop, both because:
1. There was a distinct possibility that this could be a crazy ploy by brahj to convince me to perform a coup and I didn't want him to meet me in a dark alley.
2. If he never showed up I could eat some fish and chips and it wouldn't be a waste of my one allocated day that I'm allowed out of my cage per month. I think it was Brunswick? But who knows I was under the influence of... coffee? Let's go with coffee.
In walks a fat man squeezed into what appeared to be an unusually small Santa outfit without the beard. Odd attire, I'll admit, but I've seen many other strange outfits around dragon island. I swear I once saw roo2macca walking around wearing nothing but a half-squeezed orange.
What follows is a transcript of our conversation, as told from the haunted tapes I found in the woods. And then I overwrote them because do you know how hard it is to find blank cassettes these days? I KNOW RIGHT?
BS: I have the unbelievable honour of hosting the brilliant Scorpus Alias , thank you for making yourself available on such short notice.
SA: No worries, I wasn't aware I was this highly sought after for interviews for the... *furiously Googles* ... Scottish Football Association
BS: There's been a lot of talk lately about Alias accounts, what with George 's name change, accusations that BRAB has aliases posing as "anyone who agrees with BRAB", that EJW is a clever alias for Fryer Tuck, and that everyone in SFA is apparently actually Blacky. How do you feel about the concept of Aliases in SFA?
SA: Well I don't understand why you'd even need an alias. Surely everyone is just posting as themselves? There's literally no reason to make a separate alias account just to make the alias agree with your posts, especially if your posts are high quality. Only the worst posters would have alias accounts.
BS: Let's get right down to brass tacks here- Are you in any way related to fellow Dragon's rookie Scorpus , and if not, why the name similarity?
SA: I have never heard of this "Scorpus" fellow before. Literally never had anything to do with him. To be honest I don't even know what a "rookie" is. I think the similarity is purely coincidental.
Is this other Scorpus good? I guess if there's a name similarity you'd hope the person was awesome. I'd be pretty happy if I was called George Michael, but rather disappointed if I was called Reinhard Heydrich or Heinrich Himmler. I'm just gonna guess Scorpus is more a fun pop star than a Nazi directly responsible for concentration camps. There's obviously no in between there.
And just to remove any doubt, here's my drivers license to prove we are not the same.
BS: Aside from your Dragons team-mates, who are a given, who else do you rate (posting wise) in this competition so far?
SA: Dragons? What are you on about, I don't know any dragons. They're not even real for Christ's sake! Though between you and me, I'd be a dragon if whatshername from Game of Thrones would ride me, if you catch my overt sexual innuendo. As for other posters, I assume you're a poster Blaze? If so I'll go with you. You seem pretty nice.
BS: I'm a Dragon...
SA: Oh right! Well since I know only you, and you're ineligible, I guess I don't rate anyone. What's this league about, again?
BS: Qooty.
SA:
BS: How do you respond to the accusations that you are technically not on any team lists and so not really a qooty player at all?
SA: Not on any team lists? I'm offended. I'm a proud member of my local bocce club. Of course I'm on a team list, there's no 'technicality' about it.
BS: Did you feel personally aggrieved by your omission from Sterge 's list of rookies? Or was it more of a generalised feeling of resentment directed at everyone?
SA: I've never won an award in my life, not even a participation award in school for attending the swimming sports (every other kid got one, but maybe because I was deemed "too fat to dive" they decided to scrub me from the record books). So of course I was outraged to learn just five seconds ago that I wasn't considered for some award I've never heard of. Disgraceful.
BS: Why is it that no-one wants Frankston Rover to be admin? Is it because all Hawthorn supporters are genuinely shit blokes, or is it a wombat thing?
SA: I went to Frankston once and it was shit, so no doubt there are some issues relating to that fact.
BS: What is your opinion on #rednesday, is it the best idea since the dawn of man, or simply since sliced bread?
SA: Redheads? Are we talking about the matchstick brand, my penis, or redheaded women?
BS: Obviously readheads.
SA: Oh right, well that makes sense. And these redheads are posted on a Wednesday for all to admire? Well if the redheads make my redhead more redheadded then I can't complain. Though I'm not sure why you'd restrict that awesome concept to just one day of the week.
BS: The other day I was wandering down the street and thinking to myself how good an idea it would be to have a machine that made toasted sandwiches all by itself, I mean not like a sandwich press, but one where you could feed bread into a chute or something and cheese into another and it would just automatically assemble and cook toasted cheese sandwiches all day long. Having said that, who do you think is the most overrated poster in the league?
SA: You've slipped me a piece of paper, and on it reads "Scorpus". I assume you're referring to the other guy who is in no way related to me.
BS: Thank you for your time, Scorpus Alias. Scorpus isn't returning my calls, so if you run into him, tell him he's dead to me. (Just kidding, please call back, I miss your voice)
SA: I've never met Scorpus, and I will never run into him. We live in completely different places. We are not related in any way. Pure coincidence. In an unrelated note, do you know how to get from here to the costume store? I have to return a completely different outfit not related in any way to what I am wearing right now, and in any case, I'm just asking for a friend too, of course.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well there you have it, people. Riveting stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dumpster behind Blacky's place to crawl through. HaroLad won't beat me to it this time!
