Kebabs are mouthwatering. Kebabs are delicious. Kebabs are succulent, juicy, heavenly, beautiful, slightly fattening and fully satisfying creations of scrumptious OMNOMNOM. But when they're crap, they're absolutely atrocious. Feel free to help fill the gaps, recommend those you love and shit talk those that had you panting on the loo.
I take my kebabs seriously, so as the OP, I feel it is my duty to propose a Scale.
1/5 stars - I've shished out better kebabs
2/5 stars - Donert want
3/5 stars - Just meats my standards
4/5 stars - Glamborous
5/5 stars - Kebabvana
To get things started
Yay
Haci's Kebabs (434 Bell St, Preston, VIC) - 4.8 stars
Haci's is everything you want in a kebab caravan and more. Their garlic sauce is second to none, their meat is fresh off the spit, they're not expensive, and their customer service is nothing short of ****ing awesome. The workers are friendly as, and if you've got kids, they'll give you chocolates or lollies free. Place can be a bit hard to spot, but I can guarantee, ain't nothing better than sitting outside with a hot Haci's kebab in the freezing cold winter.
Kebab Box (across from Campbellfield KMart) - 4.2 stars
Kebab Box is Haci's, but a little busier and a bit more expensive. Their chips are some of the best I've had in my life, but that's not the point. Their meat is full of flavour, clean (you don't feel like a pig when you eat it). I like my kebabs more savoury than sweet, which is why Kebab Box isn't a 5. Their bread and meat are a little sweeter than your ideal kebab place, but it is still absolute first class. Can get packed, but it's worth it. Staff are great too.
Katik Turkish Takeaway (349 Barry Road, Campbellfield, VIC) - 5 stars
I can't fault this place. Awesome, awesome stuff. For something different, their kebabs are really long and a little thinner, rather than short and stubby. Very filling. I would definitely recommend their adana kebab, possibly one of the most delightful things I've ever had the pleasure of eating.
Kebab Is Stop! (83 King St, Broadmeadows, VIC) - 4.8 stars
Not busy, very, very cheap and absolute top quality. Deserves more customers than they get.
Mr Funny Kebab (469 Sydney Road, Coburg, VIC) - 5 stars
Their food isn't as filling as Katik's, as clean as Kebab Box, as cheap as Kebab Is Stop, or as flavoured as Haci's. The area around the caravan doesn't look like the most welcoming place in the world, but Mr Funny is probably my favourite. It is the kebab equivalent of Bunnings sausage sizzles - it's dirty, its standards are low, but it is still a favourite. My family has history with the owner of the van (Mr Funny. You'll know it's him because he looks like a middle-aged Turkish version of Aker), very friendly. Their meat is probably the best I've ever tasted, and the aftertaste isn't even half bad. It's got everything wrong with it, but it's just so right. I've never had a kebab like it. If you have to travel long to get here, it's damn well worth it.
Nay
Hoppers Crossing Kebab House (near Hoppers Station) 1 star
Absolute crap. I think I posted before that this place served us shredded (did a crap job at shredding too) sausage meat in our kebabs instead of actual mothereffing spit lamb. They were once good, used to remind me of Kebab Box. They switch owners far too often, so it's hard to get a consistent review of the damn place. Haven't had a good one from here in 5 years.
Golden Grill (38 Station Place, Werribee, VIC) 2.5 stars
Customer service is great, but it all goes downhill from here. They're pricey, their meat is definitely not fresh and their kebabs are way too bitter/salty. Also used to be good.
Ken's Kebabs (Station Rd, Deer Park, VIC) 3 stars
The kebabs are real nice, the prices aren't bad and I like how they don't wrap kebabs in foil. Saves me a whole lot of mess. I'd probably have this place at 4 stars if it weren't for the effhead who works the caravan. Me and my older brother went to grab a bite from this place, and the first thing the idiot says to us is "Why did you come here? Couldn't you have just cooked a home meal?". Er, we came here to give bludgers like you running water. Dick. Don't bring your wives/girlfriends there either, because the idiot likes to hit on them.
Anyway, I didn't have a kebab last week, so I'm well overdue. Suggestions?
I take my kebabs seriously, so as the OP, I feel it is my duty to propose a Scale.
1/5 stars - I've shished out better kebabs
2/5 stars - Donert want
3/5 stars - Just meats my standards
4/5 stars - Glamborous
5/5 stars - Kebabvana
To get things started
Yay
Haci's Kebabs (434 Bell St, Preston, VIC) - 4.8 stars
Haci's is everything you want in a kebab caravan and more. Their garlic sauce is second to none, their meat is fresh off the spit, they're not expensive, and their customer service is nothing short of ****ing awesome. The workers are friendly as, and if you've got kids, they'll give you chocolates or lollies free. Place can be a bit hard to spot, but I can guarantee, ain't nothing better than sitting outside with a hot Haci's kebab in the freezing cold winter.
Kebab Box (across from Campbellfield KMart) - 4.2 stars
Kebab Box is Haci's, but a little busier and a bit more expensive. Their chips are some of the best I've had in my life, but that's not the point. Their meat is full of flavour, clean (you don't feel like a pig when you eat it). I like my kebabs more savoury than sweet, which is why Kebab Box isn't a 5. Their bread and meat are a little sweeter than your ideal kebab place, but it is still absolute first class. Can get packed, but it's worth it. Staff are great too.
Katik Turkish Takeaway (349 Barry Road, Campbellfield, VIC) - 5 stars
I can't fault this place. Awesome, awesome stuff. For something different, their kebabs are really long and a little thinner, rather than short and stubby. Very filling. I would definitely recommend their adana kebab, possibly one of the most delightful things I've ever had the pleasure of eating.
Kebab Is Stop! (83 King St, Broadmeadows, VIC) - 4.8 stars
Not busy, very, very cheap and absolute top quality. Deserves more customers than they get.
Mr Funny Kebab (469 Sydney Road, Coburg, VIC) - 5 stars
Their food isn't as filling as Katik's, as clean as Kebab Box, as cheap as Kebab Is Stop, or as flavoured as Haci's. The area around the caravan doesn't look like the most welcoming place in the world, but Mr Funny is probably my favourite. It is the kebab equivalent of Bunnings sausage sizzles - it's dirty, its standards are low, but it is still a favourite. My family has history with the owner of the van (Mr Funny. You'll know it's him because he looks like a middle-aged Turkish version of Aker), very friendly. Their meat is probably the best I've ever tasted, and the aftertaste isn't even half bad. It's got everything wrong with it, but it's just so right. I've never had a kebab like it. If you have to travel long to get here, it's damn well worth it.
Nay
Hoppers Crossing Kebab House (near Hoppers Station) 1 star
Absolute crap. I think I posted before that this place served us shredded (did a crap job at shredding too) sausage meat in our kebabs instead of actual mothereffing spit lamb. They were once good, used to remind me of Kebab Box. They switch owners far too often, so it's hard to get a consistent review of the damn place. Haven't had a good one from here in 5 years.
Golden Grill (38 Station Place, Werribee, VIC) 2.5 stars
Customer service is great, but it all goes downhill from here. They're pricey, their meat is definitely not fresh and their kebabs are way too bitter/salty. Also used to be good.
Ken's Kebabs (Station Rd, Deer Park, VIC) 3 stars
The kebabs are real nice, the prices aren't bad and I like how they don't wrap kebabs in foil. Saves me a whole lot of mess. I'd probably have this place at 4 stars if it weren't for the effhead who works the caravan. Me and my older brother went to grab a bite from this place, and the first thing the idiot says to us is "Why did you come here? Couldn't you have just cooked a home meal?". Er, we came here to give bludgers like you running water. Dick. Don't bring your wives/girlfriends there either, because the idiot likes to hit on them.
Anyway, I didn't have a kebab last week, so I'm well overdue. Suggestions?
