Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

Remove this Banner Ad

Mofra said:
He might be the most frustrating footballer in the competition to watch. It's all between the ears with him - unfortunately that's a big deal in his case.
Click to expand...
The funny thing about Frosty is that he's apparently quite an intelligent guy outside of footy.
 
Gra_76199 said:
Yeah he's more notable for the Swans than Osbourne. Osbourne left after a year that included a horrible freak accident,
Click to expand...

Have you seen his show? He can barely move or speak sometimes, amazed he doesn't have more accidents. Damn good musician though.

I'll never forget the day he bit the head off a bat at The Gabba.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

Mofra said:
Sam Reid is a one of those rare commodities in the modern AFL, in being a key forward the the Swans developed themselves. Previously they've preferring to bring in their forward talent like Buddy Franklin, Kurt Tippett, Barry Hall, Tony Lockett, Simon Minton-Connell, Richard Osborne, etc.
Click to expand...

Their reticence to develop their own forwards is understandable given the inspiration behind their “No Dickheads” policy.

1604185026489.png
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Over The Post said:
Jesus, man, you could have quietly let them know in a discreet pm instead of burning WH in public like that. Harsh.
Click to expand...

If they haven't figured it out by now, it's just natural selection at work.....
 
Mofra said:
Player #34 - Sam Frost
View attachment 997829
Pictured: Sam, clearly reminiscing about the time he and a bunch of kids found a pirate map in the 1980s and set off on an adventure

Sam Frost should be an elite footballer. He's tall, really really fast and on field he can hear the coach's instructions. Without a telephone. From 250m away. Through the glass of the coaches box. He's apparently the 3rd fastest player at Hawthorn, although if he pinned his ears back he'd be the first.

Frost started his proper football journey like so many other kids, rejecting GWS' advances to stay in Western Sydney. His first game at GWS was a 95 point loss to Fremantle which is generally a less likely event than a thread on the Bigfooty SRP board descending into rational discussion.
Sam moving to the Demons at the end of 2014 was the impetus for the Demons to chase both Jake Lever and Stephen May for merely a bunch of first round picks and half their salary cap.
Sam was then surplus to requirements and being over 25, the Hawks came knocking. He certainly heard them, and he moved to Hawthorn at the end of last year in a complicated deal that involved Sam Frost and five pick swaps.

Frost is excellent at closing space and to be honest is a pretty decent one on one defender and a defender who can catch and spoil the opposition on a lead. So how the hell does he make this list?

Well, football involves kicking. When you get the ball, you need to make a decision about where to kick it, then execute that skill which is fundamental to football.
Sam does this sometimes. Other times, well, let's just say with Clarko's penchant for plaster-board based violence during outbursts of frustration, Sam Frost has kept about 3% of Australia's plasterers employed during the economic slowdown. The stats say he manages a clanger with 1 in 5 disposals, but given 60% of his disposals are kicks it's likely closer to one in three. Then there's the fluffed long kick to an easy target that become a 'contested' situation that are officially counter as 'efficient' by Champion data hence the old adage - lie, damned lies and Frost's statistics. His decision making is so bad he might be secretly moonlighting as Collingwood's salary cap manager.

Fun fact: He shares the same name with a former reality TV star, which the job title equivalent of a "Hello my name is: In Training" nametag.

Sam, Frosty, good luck next year. I typed this as softly as I could so you couldn't hear what I was writing. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...
How dare you! Frosty's a goat and everyone knows it. He was nominated as an MVP for Hawthorn ahead of Tom Mitchell. Trading him to the hawks has cost us at least 3 flags.
 
Player #32 - Jake Kelly
1604277864008.png
1604277881423.png
1604277913602.png
Pictured: More duckface than a Kardashian family photo

Jake Kelly is an Adelaide Crows player who went backwards faster this year than a West Coast Cheer Squad member with an expiring Hungry Jacks voucher.

Kelly is the son of former Collingwood player Craig Kelly, and like a lot of sons of Collingwood players he went unclaimed (presumably they're not familiar with kids who actually know who their father is). When Collingwood passed on him as a father-son pick Adelaide pounced. After plying his trade at SANFL level on the rookie list, he exploded onto the scene in 2015 and from 2016-2019 he was a very good player. But this isn't about the past. This is about 2020.

A rebounding defender and sometimes running through the middle of the ground, Jake Kelly halved his output this year except for his clanger count, which he miraculously maintained. I can only assumed he enjoyed hub-life about as much as Jack Higgins' girlfriend because his average disposal count halved (from 16 to 8) and his marks went from 5 down to three. Normally that would cause a bit of a droopy bottom lip in players but judging by Jake's photos he's had that covered for years. Googling images for Jake Kelly gives you a range of facial expressions that go from pout, to pout and head tilt, back to pout. He's the walking embodiment of an outer-suburban single mother's tinder profile (Pro-tip: duckface doesn't actually make your arse any smaller).

Early in his career his teammates nicknamed him "bull" because of his competitiveness, although they had to abandon that as Jake kept thinking he was being called anytime someone read a Tom Browne article. He was also one of the best Crows players in the 2017 Grand Final, although to be fair his only real competition was the empty seat next to Tex on the plane ride home.

Fun fact: At the 2013 draft combine he ran the third fastest 3km time trial in history. Even more miraculous was that as a potential Collingwood father-son pick, he had a stolen VCR under one arm the whole time.

Jake, 'bull', hopefully next year is better than this one. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
 
Last edited:
WillHayward said:
The ads on bigfooty are getting weirder and weirder.
Wtf is this one?

screenshot_20201101-204147-png.1000731
Click to expand...
RossFC said:
They are tailored ads based on your browser history.
Click to expand...
tenor.gif


Congrats WillHayward you'll forever be known as Bay13's authority on "Mom's Love"
 
WillHayward said:
Just amazed that product actually exists.
Click to expand...

It's a product? I thought it was a dating site. I see millions (obvious exaggeration; it's only tens of thousands) of ads for hot willing steamy moms waiting for me to bust a move, and they all live within a couple of kilometres. They must spend all day chatting on these sites, I certainly don't see them walking around the neighbourhood or down at the shops.
 
Mofra said:
Player #32 - Jake Kelly
View attachment 1001108
View attachment 1001109
View attachment 1001110
Pictured: More duckface than a Kardashian family photo

Jake Kelly is an Adelaide Crows player who went backwards faster this year than a West Coast Cheer Squad member with an expiring Hungry Jacks voucher.

Kelly is the son of former Collingwood player Craig Kelly, and like a lot of sons of Collingwood players he went unclaimed (presumably they're not familiar with kids who actually know who their father is). When Collingwood passed on him as a father-son pick Adelaide pounced. After plying his trade at SANFL level on the rookie list, he exploded onto the scene in 2015 and from 2016-2019 he was a very good player. But this isn't about the past. This is about 2020.

A rebounding defender and sometimes running through the middle of the ground, Jake Kelly halved his output this year except for his clanger count, which he miraculously maintained. I can only assumed he enjoyed hub-life about as much as Jack Higgins' girlfriend because his average disposal count halved (from 16 to 8) and his marks went from 5 down to three. Normally that would cause a bit of a droopy bottom lip in players but judging by Jake's photos he's had that covered for years. Googling images for Jake Kelly gives you a range of facial expressions that go from pout, to pout and head tilt, back to pout. He's the walking embodiment of an outer-suburban single mother's tinder profile (Pro-tip: duckface doesn't actually make your arse any smaller).

Early in his career his teammates nicknamed him "bull" because of his competitiveness, although they had to abandon that as Jake kept thinking he was being called anytime someone read a Tom Browne article. He was also one of the best Crows players in the 2017 Grand Final, although to be fair his only real competition was the empty seat next to Tex on the plane ride home.

Fun fact: At the 2013 draft combine he ran the third fastest 3km time trial in history. Even more miraculous was that as a potential Collingwood father-son pick, he had a stolen VCR under one arm the whole time.

Jake, 'bull', hopefully next year is better than this one. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...

Thank you Mofra! From now until the end of time whenever I see someone pulling a duckface I'm going to hear their inner monologue: "This will make my arse look so much smaller in the photo!"
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

Similar threads

Mofra
  • Locked
Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2023
71 72 73 74 75
Replies
2K
Views
157K
Dinsdale
Dinsdale
Stokey
Happy Tigers go bottom day everyone!!!
2 3
Replies
54
Views
1K
Tiger2709
Tiger2709
AvantGardener
  • Poll
Backfire Has the gap between the top 8 and bottom teams ever been wider?
2
Replies
44
Views
857
frggr
frggr
pavstar
Game Day Bottom feeders Cup - KKKlarkson’s Apple Isle Joey’s vs Harley Reid and 21 other Lingerers..
2
Replies
49
Views
682
Saveloy Rockstar
Saveloy Rockstar
BigVic
What if no COVID and the 2020 AFL season went as normal
Replies
12
Views
405
Dirty Bird
Dirty Bird
Aristotle Pickett
Think Tank Is Horse Longmire the most overated coach of the last 50 years?
2
Replies
26
Views
673
the avoca drover
the avoca drover
Jazny
Flashback to 2020 when Essendon had 3 picks inside the top 10 to set the club up for the next decade...
2 3
Replies
57
Views
879
Bont2Bruce
Bont2Bruce

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top