Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020

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Mofra said:
Player #31 - Cale Hooker
View attachment 1003193
Pictured: Cale Hooker is happy after a game, so this clearly isn't a final

Cale Hooker is a 32 year old defender who has not (yet) been linked with Hawthorn or Geelong.

It's hard to troll Cale here.... because Fox got in first. When he played his 200th game this year, they actually played this goal:

Fox apologised afterwards, which is something most of Essendon's players should have done this year after their performances.

Much like Lachie Hunter driving after a few UDLs, Cale seems to have hit the wall this year. He managed 8 games this year and a reduction in stats across the board. He just seems to have lost a yard or two in pace and is now taking less marks, after spending the past few years in the top 10-20 league wide for marks. He's cut his disposal numbers by about 40%. Cale still played well against Hawthorn though which is all Essendon supporters really have anymore. Well, that and trade week.

Fortunately for 17 clubs Cale is contracted for next year as the last of a large 5 year deal he signed in 2016, the greatest year of AFL football ever seen. He has not expressed a desire to leave either which is a huge boost for the Bombers, and they're not trying to push him out the door (Eddie and Bucks, take note).

Fun fact: His name is 'Cale' and has used an IV in the past, so he has hipster credibility. He remains the highest paid Hooker in Tullamarine too which sounds like something Borat would be proud of.

Good luck next year Cale and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...


I thought he was named after wild cabbage, then they changed the spelling to make it more hipster.
 
Mofra said:
Player #31 - Cale Hooker
View attachment 1003193
Pictured: Cale Hooker is happy after a game, so this clearly isn't a final

Cale Hooker is a 32 year old defender who has not (yet) been linked with Hawthorn or Geelong.

It's hard to troll Cale here.... because Fox got in first. When he played his 200th game this year, they actually played this goal:

Fox apologised afterwards, which is something most of Essendon's players should have done this year after their performances.

Much like Lachie Hunter driving after a few UDLs, Cale seems to have hit the wall this year. He managed 8 games this year and a reduction in stats across the board. He just seems to have lost a yard or two in pace and is now taking less marks, after spending the past few years in the top 10-20 league wide for marks. He's cut his disposal numbers by about 40%. Cale still played well against Hawthorn though which is all Essendon supporters really have anymore. Well, that and trade week.

Fortunately for 17 clubs Cale is contracted for next year as the last of a large 5 year deal he signed in 2016, the greatest year of AFL football ever seen. He has not expressed a desire to leave either which is a huge boost for the Bombers, and they're not trying to push him out the door (Eddie and Bucks, take note).

Fun fact: His name is 'Cale' and has used an IV in the past, so he has hipster credibility. He remains the highest paid Hooker in Tullamarine too which sounds like something Borat would be proud of.

Good luck next year Cale and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...

I'm Expecting a melt from Essendon nuffs for this one.
 
Mofra said:
He remains the highest paid Hooker in Tullamarine too
Click to expand...
giphy.gif
 

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HTPunter said:
"he was almost top 5 in our B&F in a bottom 4 side" isn't the strongest defence I've ever heard.
Click to expand...
Like I said, there were 25 worse players on Hawthorn's list this year.... :(

If he was some big-money free agent spud like Ty Vickery, then I'd pay it.
If he was some non-performing costly trade like Josh Bruce, then I'd give his nomination the thumbs up

But he is a universally-derided hack on average money who cost us virtually nothing and had a pretty good year.

Just makes no sense, that's all.



If you have a tiny penis with raisin-sized testicles, please click the like button and leave a laughing face emoji below
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Last edited:
www.afl.com.au

Trade request confirmed: Gun Dog wants to be a Bomber

Josh Dunkley has officially requested a trade to Essendon
www.afl.com.au www.afl.com.au

Welcome to Mofra's Bottom 50 Josh Dunkley! :drunk:
 
A Cut Above said:
www.afl.com.au

Trade request confirmed: Gun Dog wants to be a Bomber

Josh Dunkley has officially requested a trade to Essendon
www.afl.com.au www.afl.com.au

Welcome to Mofra's Bottom 50 Josh Dunkley! :drunk:
Click to expand...

you left an extra zero there mate, it can be removed....
 
A Cut Above said:
www.afl.com.au

Trade request confirmed: Gun Dog wants to be a Bomber

Josh Dunkley has officially requested a trade to Essendon
www.afl.com.au www.afl.com.au

Welcome to Mofra's Bottom 50 Josh Dunkley! :drunk:
Click to expand...

I can’t believe I got beaten to the punch. Had the exact same thought. What a traitorous swine. Worst decision making in footy. I guess after seeing the old man on Open Mike it’s not a surprise he’s been lured by money.
 
Mitch Hannan and Jack Lonie also now being written out of the bottom 30 for whatever reason.
 
Surely our shiny new free agent, Brad Crouch, must get a look in.
 

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La Dispute said:
Mitch Hannan and Jack Lonie also now being written out of the bottom 30 for whatever reason.
Click to expand...

That makes Jack really really angry.

76157a9037b314353f8d324e6aec08a9.jpg
 
Mofra said:
Player #31 - Cale Hooker
View attachment 1003193
Pictured: Cale Hooker is happy after a game, so this clearly isn't a final

Cale Hooker is a 32 year old defender who has not (yet) been linked with Hawthorn or Geelong.

It's hard to troll Cale here.... because Fox got in first. When he played his 200th game this year, they actually played this goal:

Fox apologised afterwards, which is something most of Essendon's players should have done this year after their performances.

Much like Lachie Hunter driving after a few UDLs, Cale seems to have hit the wall this year. He managed 8 games this year and a reduction in stats across the board. He just seems to have lost a yard or two in pace and is now taking less marks, after spending the past few years in the top 10-20 league wide for marks. He's cut his disposal numbers by about 40%. Cale still played well against Hawthorn though which is all Essendon supporters really have anymore. Well, that and trade week.

Fortunately for 17 clubs Cale is contracted for next year as the last of a large 5 year deal he signed in 2016, the greatest year of AFL football ever seen. He has not expressed a desire to leave either which is a huge boost for the Bombers, and they're not trying to push him out the door (Eddie and Bucks, take note).

Fun fact: His name is 'Cale' and has used an IV in the past, so he has hipster credibility. He remains the highest paid Hooker in Tullamarine too which sounds like something Borat would be proud of.

Good luck next year Cale and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...


Yeah, we all had a bit of a giggle at that footage of poor ol' Cale getting torched by Buddy being included in his 200 game highlight package.

But, and I might be in the minority here, I always thought it showed him in a good light. He got out classed by a superior athlete, but he never gave up on the chase. He knew he was never going to get there, but he kept his diesel bouncing off the redline anyway. How many of the more highly regarded AFL players would've just pulled out of the chase or tried to wave someone else in? I always admired him for not giving up on that chase.

Anyway - Welcome to the 2020 bottom 50 Cale "slightly more bottomier than Frosty" Hooker!
 
Larry Barnsworth said:
Yeah, we all had a bit of a giggle at that footage of poor ol' Cale getting torched by Buddy being included in his 200 game highlight package.

But, and I might be in the minority here, I always thought it showed him in a good light. He got out classed by a superior athlete, but he never gave up on the chase. He knew he was never going to get there, but he kept his diesel bouncing off the redline anyway. How many of the more highly regarded AFL players would've just pulled out of the chase or tried to wave someone else in? I always admired him for not giving up on that chase.

Anyway - Welcome to the 2020 bottom 50 Cale "slightly more bottomier than Frosty" Hooker!
Click to expand...
The thing about it was buddy kicked two like that in the same game with poor old Hooksy doing his best to keep up. Sitting on L2 in the MCC looking down on the ground (and the great unwashed) it was a truly awesome (in the correct sense of the word) sight.

The chook has been a star but 2020 was not kind to him.
 
Larry Barnsworth said:
Yeah, we all had a bit of a giggle at that footage of poor ol' Cale getting torched by Buddy being included in his 200 game highlight package.

But, and I might be in the minority here, I always thought it showed him in a good light. He got out classed by a superior athlete, but he never gave up on the chase. He knew he was never going to get there, but he kept his diesel bouncing off the redline anyway. How many of the more highly regarded AFL players would've just pulled out of the chase or tried to wave someone else in? I always admired him for not giving up on that chase.

Anyway - Welcome to the 2020 bottom 50 Cale "slightly more bottomier than Frosty" Hooker!
Click to expand...

 
Player #30 - Ben Ronke
1604622459775.png
Pictured: The lockdown hubs forced many players to cut their own hair, with disastrous results

Ben Ronke is a Sydney Swans small forward who is known for kicking 7 goals and laying 10 tackles against Hawthorn in his third game of AFL football. Ironically after that game against Hawthorn he's become the true Steven Bradbury of the AFL world, by doing very little since. Being known for just one thing can be a little heartbreaking, as my friend Con found out after being caught in a compromising position with a goat.

Ben finished last year with 1 goal from his last three games, so he would have been hoping for a better 2020. He started off by laying 6 tackles in his opening game against the Crows, although managing 5 clangers from 9 disposals took the shine off the performance. His next game against the Bulldogs was better. Still no goals, but 4 tackles and 10 touches. He was given one more chance and he managed a solitary tackle, no goals, and 4 clangers from 10 touches.

So as a small forward he's kicked 1 goal from his last 6 games. Comparisons can be unkind, but Ben Stratton can also lay claim to that feat.
Ben is also very very lucky. His mum is South African, so Essendon signed Ben as a Category B rookie and if the Swans didn't pick him up he would have been signed by Essendon and stuck behind long term Essendon players such as Adam Saad, Joe Daniher and Orazio Fantasia. He also went to school in Essendon (St Bernards) although I've heard the school may be forced to relocate as the nearby Bowls club want to build an extra green.

Fun fact: Ben clarified that his surname needs to be pronounced as "Ronk-ee", as AFL players have a habit of dropping E's.

Anyway Ben is out of contract this year so fingers crossed he gets to re-sign with the Swans or find an opportunity at another AFL cub, or even North Melbourne. Good luck and thanks for joining the Bottom 50 for 2020.
 
Mofra said:
Player #30 - Ben Ronke
View attachment 1004726
Pictured: The lockdown hubs forced many players to cut their own hair, with disastrous results

Ben Ronke is a Sydney Swans small forward who is known for kicking 7 goals and laying 10 tackles against Hawthorn in his third game of AFL football. Ironically after that game against Hawthorn he's become the true Steven Bradbury of the AFL world, by doing very little since. Being known for just one thing can be a little heartbreaking, as my friend Con found out after being caught in a compromising position with a goat.

Ben finished last year with 1 goal from his last three games, so he would have been hoping for a better 2020. He started off by laying 6 tackles in his opening game against the Crows, although managing 5 clangers from 9 disposals took the shine off the performance. His next game against the Bulldogs was better. Still no goals, but 4 tackles and 10 touches. He was given one more chance and he managed a solitary tackle, no goals, and 4 clangers from 10 touches.

So as a small forward he's kicked 1 goal from his last 6 games. Comparisons can be unkind, but Ben Stratton can also lay claim to that feat.
Ben is also very very lucky. His mum is South African, so Essendon signed Ben as a Category B rookie and if the Swans didn't pick him up he would have been signed by Essendon and stuck behind long term Essendon players such as Adam Saad, Joe Daniher and Orazio Fantasia. He also went to school in Essendon (St Bernards) although I've heard the school may be forced to relocate as the nearby Bowls club want to build an extra green.

Fun fact: Ben clarified that his surname needs to be pronounced as "Ronk-ee", as AFL players have a habit of dropping E's.

Anyway Ben is out of contract this year so fingers crossed he gets to re-sign with the Swans or find an opportunity at another AFL cub, or even North Melbourne. Good luck and thanks for joining the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Click to expand...
Knew it. Great work. Also we should trade him down to Essendon.
 
Another question, is this like Gill doing the Brownlow count, i.e. when he gets to the end he goes speed round? Or will we just be building up the tension to the very end?
 

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