VelvetSledge
Moderator
- May 24, 2007
- 17,860
- 36,722
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- Liverpool FC, Melbourne Storm
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- #1
17 degrees during the day, with a 60% chance of F**KING RAIN so yeah that'll be absolutely splendid.
It's also gonna be windy as shit, up to 25kmh so we can be damn sure we will be in for a really fantastic (yet sarcastic) game.
SportsBet:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $2.80
RICHMOND TIGERS: $1.45
BetEASY:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $2.80
RICHMOND TIGERS: $1.45
UBET:
ESSENDON BOMBERS: $3.00
RICHMOND TIGERS: $1.25
Which means we'll probably lose.
ESSENDON BOMBERS
Got the job done, and got the job done well.
Two injuries in the first quarter threatened to cost the Bombers a win, with a knee hyperextension to veteran Brendon Goddard looking like it would be the end of his career.
Adam Saad was lined up a good few metres off the ball by St Kilda thug Nathan Brown, who took him out and knocked him out cold well after he had disposed of the footy.
The Bombers found themselves with no players to rotate on the bench in the final quarter, with the rotations at the end of the game reading 90-51. Orazio Fantasia injured his troublesome hamstring again, and Cale Hooker experienced some soreness in the knee after a knock.
To hold onto a lead with four less fit players on the park is impressive, but to build on that lead and to really take the Saints to the sword? It really shows what a piss poor football side the Saints have become. Really sad.
Devon Smith is going to win the Crichton.
Dyson Heppell, save for the disposal at times, is the true captain of this club and is admired all over. What a ridiculous talent. Just doesn't slow down.
Zach Merrett is probably some sort of demi-god at this point.
We're seriously going to miss Fantasia.
Walla got back to his brilliant best. An up and down player of the past few years, his efforts last week were absolutely fantastic and he was rewarded with 5 goals.
ESSENDON BOMBERS 18.14 122 def. ST KILDA SAINTS 11.13 79
BEST: McDonald-Tipungwuti, Merrett, McGrath, McKenna, Myers, Heppell
GOALS: McDonald-Tipungwuti 5, Fantasia 2, Stringer 2, Myers 2, Langford 2, Heppell, Francis, Hooker, McKenna, Smith
INJURIES: Saad (Concussion), Goddard (Knee), Hooker (Knee), Fantasia (Hamstring), Langford (Shoulder)
REPORTS: Nil
--------
RICHMOND TIGERS
A fairly routine rout of the piss poor Suns, with a 10 goal Jack Riewoldt display leading the charge. **** that guy.
Captain Cotchin played around half the game, perhaps with a hamstring complaint. **** that guy.
Dustin Martin. **** that guy.
Maybe we can have someone steal Shane Edwards' keys this week so he won't make it to the game and won't **** us up? **** that guy.
Shored up a top two position, so they can probably lose to us now.
Finally won a game outside of Melbourne!
**** these guys.
GOLD COAST SUNS 7.9 51 def. by RICHMOND TIGERS 19.11 125
BEST: Riewoldt, Caddy, Martin, Lambert, Short, Ellis
GOALS: Riewoldt 10, Caddy 4, Ellis 2, Vlastuin, Edwards, Martin
INJURIES: -
REPORTS: Nil
ESSENDON EMERGENCIES
Jordan Ridley, Josh Green, Matthew Leuenberger, Jayden Laverde
RICHMOND EMERGENCIES
Anthony Miles, Conor Menadue, Corey Ellis, Ivan Soldo
--------------------------
ESSENDON INS: Matt Guelfi, Matt Dea
ESSENDON OUTS: Orazio Fantasia (Hamstring), Ben McNiece (Injured)
RICHMOND INS: Liam Baker, Reece Conca, Ryan Garthwaite, Sam Lloyd, Toby Nankervis
RICHMOND OUTS: David Astbury, Dion Prestia, Kane Lambert, Trent Cotchin (All Ing), Ivan Soldo (Omitted)
--------------------------
ESSENDON INS: Matt Guelfi, Matt Dea
ESSENDON OUTS: Orazio Fantasia (Hamstring), Ben McNiece (Injured)
RICHMOND INS: Liam Baker, Reece Conca, Ryan Garthwaite, Sam Lloyd, Toby Nankervis
RICHMOND OUTS: David Astbury, Dion Prestia, Kane Lambert, Trent Cotchin (All Ing), Ivan Soldo (Omitted)
MILESTONES
ESSENDON - #21 - DYSON HEPPELL
150 GAMES
Pick 8 in 2010 National Draft, Captain since 2017
ESSENDON - #45 - CONOR McKENNA
50 GAMES
Two necessary changes from the Bombers this week, with the incredible, wonderful, Hamstrings-made-of-Mozzarella Oraaaaazio Fantasia having to miss again with another troublesome string of ham. Ben McNiece is listed as injured, which may explain his rather down performance last week. The Dons bring in ex-Tiger Matt Dea, who has had a seriously solid year (save for a few bloopers), and Johnny Unitas himself, Matt Guelfi. Now there's a haircut you can set your watch to. All we need now is a huge raft of late changes to Saad, Hooker, and Goddard (who are all named on the bench) to make this entire paragraph wholly irrelevant.
Wholesale changes at the Tigers this week, with the supposition that they're resting players in the lead up to a now-guaranteed home final and double chance. The human meatball, Dion Prestia, is having troubles with his hamstrings again (maybe it's an Italian thing?), while captain and illegitimate Brownlow Medalist Trent "Eraserhead" Cotchin also has a dud hammy after playing half a game last week. Kane Lambert was always going to be an out due to injury, and David Astbury, a key part of the Richmond defence is also resting up. Replacing him is Ryan Garthwaite, who is almost a like for like replacement to do all the one on one defending that Alex Rance is allergic to, while Reece Conca makes his return after that sickening leg injury a few months ago. The one which now means that if a player is being taken off on a stretcher then the WHOLE team needs to go over and pat him on the noggin because that's teamwork, mother****er! Sam A-Llllooooyyyyyydddd is in to frustrate all of us with more Brian Taylor commentary considering the lack of Orazio, and Liam Baker is a guy I haven't really heard much about but he's in so he's a target. Ivan Soldo has been dropped for the returning BIG NANK who will aim to obliterate David Zaharakis' other shoulder this time, drawing the ire of Essendon supporters for another six months.
ESSENDON - #45 - CONOR McKENNA
50 GAMES
2015 International Rookie Selection from Eglish, Northern Ireland
Diddle Dee Dee Potaters
Diddle Dee Dee Potaters
Two necessary changes from the Bombers this week, with the incredible, wonderful, Hamstrings-made-of-Mozzarella Oraaaaazio Fantasia having to miss again with another troublesome string of ham. Ben McNiece is listed as injured, which may explain his rather down performance last week. The Dons bring in ex-Tiger Matt Dea, who has had a seriously solid year (save for a few bloopers), and Johnny Unitas himself, Matt Guelfi. Now there's a haircut you can set your watch to. All we need now is a huge raft of late changes to Saad, Hooker, and Goddard (who are all named on the bench) to make this entire paragraph wholly irrelevant.
Wholesale changes at the Tigers this week, with the supposition that they're resting players in the lead up to a now-guaranteed home final and double chance. The human meatball, Dion Prestia, is having troubles with his hamstrings again (maybe it's an Italian thing?), while captain and illegitimate Brownlow Medalist Trent "Eraserhead" Cotchin also has a dud hammy after playing half a game last week. Kane Lambert was always going to be an out due to injury, and David Astbury, a key part of the Richmond defence is also resting up. Replacing him is Ryan Garthwaite, who is almost a like for like replacement to do all the one on one defending that Alex Rance is allergic to, while Reece Conca makes his return after that sickening leg injury a few months ago. The one which now means that if a player is being taken off on a stretcher then the WHOLE team needs to go over and pat him on the noggin because that's teamwork, mother****er! Sam A-Llllooooyyyyyydddd is in to frustrate all of us with more Brian Taylor commentary considering the lack of Orazio, and Liam Baker is a guy I haven't really heard much about but he's in so he's a target. Ivan Soldo has been dropped for the returning BIG NANK who will aim to obliterate David Zaharakis' other shoulder this time, drawing the ire of Essendon supporters for another six months.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #23 - DAVID MYERS
There's some poetic justice to seeing Myers finally start to play the footy we all thought he could since he was drafted with Pick 6 in the 2007 draft. Here's the thing; Hawthorn took Cyril Rioli after we took Myers, and while Rioli has gone on to win four flags and a raft of individual honours. Myers has only just hit 100 games this year. Now that Rioli has retired and headed on back to the Northern Territory, Myers has become a legitimate midfield bull. Sure, he makes some dodgy decisions from time to time, but he's actually playing like the true midfielder we always thought he would be. Take his match against Sydney a few weeks ago, for example. His footy smarts revealed themselves when he outfoxed Oliver Florent to win a handball just outside 50 before launching at goal. His big body is holding up in the contests and he's actually becoming a serious clearance mid. It's so incredible to see, it's fantastic; if we look back on this season as a failure due to a lack of finals and no progress up the ladder, then at least we can look at it from the standpoint of those players that finally made their step to worthy of AFL time; David Myers being one of, if not the stellar example of what can be done with enough patience.
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #5 - DEVON SMITH
If David Myers is a story of perseverance and the subsequent reward of patience, then Devon Smith is the ultimate story of "**** it, let's just get a bloody good player who fills a role and pay the price". What a ****ing unbelievable player. Almost undoubtedly our 2018 Crichton Medalist, Smith has been a complete revelation since switching from a GWS side in which he, somewhat unbelievably, couldn't get a game in. Dropped for the finals last year, Smith decided to make his way back home to Melbourne, and what has transpired since has been nothing short of stellar. The Giants would be absolutely bleeding considering one of the biggest knocks on his game was the supposed lack of defensive pressure he brought to his game. Funnily enough, he now leads the league for tackles in a big, big way, and is almost certain to break the record for the most tackles in a single season. What an absolute machine. Alongside Essendon greats such as Hird, T. Daniher, and Brent mother****ing Stanton, Smith is doing the famous number 5 jumper a fantastic service. It's great to see.
RICHMOND TIGERS - #10 - SHANE EDWARDS
Look, I know Edwards is a solid player; you don't hit 200 games by pissfarting around. But with that in mind, one has to remember that his best games always seem to be against us. Align him with Steele Sidebottom, Mason Cox, Tom Mitchell and even ****ing Matt Taberner, the giant dope from Freo, and Edwards fits into an elite squad known as the Essendon bitchboys; a certain group of players with no real outstandingly discernible talent who always manage to obliterate us, time and time again. Edwards is the sort of player who gets by and does his job but never really stars, which isn't overly surprising when you consider who he has as team mates. He is the sort of player that will do his job well, but occasionally will rise up to make a whole team look useless. As per tradition, the team is us, and the only way to avoid this is for someone to take his car keys and then cut off his phone service so that he can't call for someone to pick him up.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
RICHMOND TIGERS - #4 - DUSTIN MARTIN
At this point we just have to hope that Dusty has one of his flat games, where he only manages to get 35 touches and kicks 3. Arguably the best player in the league at this point, Martin is coming off a 2018 season which can now be considered slow by his lofty standards. His efforts last year in a seriously impressive solo season are now considered a true benchmark of how good one player can be, and seeing as he hasn't quite hit those numbers in 2018, the spotlight seems to have diminished away from him. This doesn't mean that we can leave him unchecked. A few weeks ago, we let Tom Mitchell do what he wanted with the ball, and nearly came away with a win against the Hawks. The problem that we have this week is that Martin doesn't just fire out little handballs when he gets his touches. He makes them count. Every single one. We can't just let him run free like we've grown accustomed to, especially when you consider that Jack Riewoldt down in the forward line is in career best form and will more than likely snag anything coming his way.
SPECIAL BONUS MENTION:
ESSENDON BOMBERS - #21 - DYSON HEPPELL
One hundred and fifty games for the skipper this week. A man who has gone through the darkest days that we have had as a team, but one who has consistently held up the values and morals that we want shown by our club. The dreadlocked captain from Leongatha, in country Victoria, has gone from strength to strength since the club took him with Pick 8 in the 2010 National Draft, and this week, we can celebrate the man and his stellar contribution to our club. Sure, the opponent will be tough, but Heppell is tough too. From the days as a youngster running off half back to deliver pin-point passes to our leading half forwards to now, as a rock hard in and under midfielder with the ability to get the loose ball and kick goals, the skipper is a true champion of the Essendon Football Club, and he always will be. Now we just need to wait for him to become our next premiership captain; and that could be happening sooner rather than later.
Happy 150, Hep!
Isn't it funny how success changes things? How you can learn to despise something so quickly based on an event or occurrence? A vast amount of people did that in 2016 when the Dogs won the flag. All of a sudden, there were loud, cocky Bulldogs fans everywhere, which is overtly confusing for me as I was under the impression that all Dogs fans are either 80 year old women or 7 year old boys. No in-betweens. The more fans that appear, the more haters there are. People who had never even given the Doggies a second thought in their lives were rampantly hating on the boys from Footscray, and while it made no difference whatsoever to their disastrous premiership defence in 2017, the hate flowed strongly until later in the year. Then, people started to pay attention to the topic of the following malice. The Tigers.
Richmond have always been a massive club. They have a huge following, they have (quite easily) the largest membership base, and they bring a crowd no matter where they play. Good on them, right? Right. The issue there is that for every passionate fan who is willing to support their side to the hilt within a respectable way, there are countless deadshits who take the success of a club in which they have had little to no influence on whatsoever to try to elevate themselves. The amount of Tigers fans who have appeared out of the woodwork is staggering. Membership numbers have soared to be the first club above 100,000. While not overly surprising, the bandwagon is there for all to see. The same thing happened for Hawthorn, and the same thing happened to the Dogs. Take one look at social media and you will have a veritable treasure trove of gold plated bandwagon supporters, with their 2018 guernseys, 2018 "ONE YEAR MEMBER" scarves and badges, and the legions of fans who have no idea who David Astbury, Nathan Broad, or Dylan Grimes are. In fact, if you're not Dusty, Riewoldt, or Cotchin, **** off. No idea. Just like the old Adelaide ducks who couldn't remember Nathan Van Berlo. He was just "Number seven"! I'm off track. Anyway, **** bandwagons.
Here's the problem with all the newfound Richmond fans. With no success since the early 80s, they were always going to come out and make themselves seen and heard. After the flag was won last year, celebrations continued for months. You're entitled to that, no problem. Your team has won a flag! Nice. Good stuff. But to actively bait opposition fans for reactions regarding their own side? Purposely sit near opposition fans at the games to antagonise them? God damn! They have always been passionate, which is no problem. Passion is one of the reasons why our game and it's atmosphere is so great, but the line between passionate and being a genuine A-Grade cocko is blurring so quickly it's starting to look like the result of my dog's cataracts.
The public fellating of this club is getting to the point now where it's unbearable. Any time you listen to SEN, you'll hear some loudmouthed ****wit start up with "I'M A TIGERS SUPPORTER AND ALL BIAS ASIDE I THINK TRENT COTCHIN IS THE BEST MIDFIELDER CAPTAIN FULL FORWARD CENTRE HALF BENCH BROWNLOWIST IN THE HISTORY OF THE GAAAAME FARKIN". The unbelievably loud middle aged man with a shit nickname living in the middle of Shitsville ****ing Nowhere (like me) who shouts down the phone line just in case good old toothbrush head Sam McClure couldn't hear him because PHONES ARE HARD TO USE about how Richmond couldn't possibly lose another game for the whole year and DUSTY SHOULD GET ANOTHER BROWNLOW even though his first half of the year was spent recovering from the huge crash coming from the 34kg of cocaine and 60 bottles of Dom Perigon he immersed himself in after winning a bunch of medals and trophies last year. Praising the clumsy **** Nankervis when he broke Zaharakis' collarbone "NAH IT WAS A FAIR TACKLE". If there's a story about another player in another club with absolutely NO relevance to Richmond whatsoever, "G'DAY I'M A TOIIIIGGAAAS SUPPORTER AAAAND-" MATE NO-ONE GIVES A HAYDEN BALLANTYNE'S CLACKER IF YOU'RE A TIGER SUPPORTER. DO US A FAVOUR AND **** UP. Any social media post about anything in the AFL? "GO TIGERS OMG DUSTY IS SOOO HOT" says the 19 year old girl who only discovered what Football was last year because her now-ex boyfriend watched it once and she fell in love with Martin even though he looks like a somewhat outcast member of the Avatar 2 screen test. Middle aged woman called Ruth with bad teeth and a Facebook photo of her 5th cat called "Cotch" with a shitty Facebook template over the top saying "EAT EM ALIVE" which she's somehow uploaded 13 times in a row, who comments every single Richmond post like she's talking to someone she actually knows. "Say hi to Trent and Dustin for me love ruth and the kids xxxx"
Maybe I have no problem with Richmond the club. They play good footy and are obviously very well run.
The problem lies inherent with the deadshit fans who ruin it for everyone else.
With all of that being said, I would fully expect for us to have the same group of contributors if we had the same success they've had this past year. In fact, I'd probably be that middle aged woman.
thx for the flag john, say hi to dyson and devon for me love from sledgey and the kids xoxoxox
Now's as good a chance as any to get a win and to temporarily shut the pricks up. Get em, Dons.
-VS
A seriously malice-filled effort from DapperDon this week. Quality anger.
---------------
Seriously, **** this team and everything about them.
Never in my football watching history has a single premiership winning team sniffed their own shitty infested jockstraps more than Richmond Football Club. Why do they think they are so much more team orientated than other clubs? Every ******* week all ******* season these campaigners have babbled on about how ******* great they are at team orientated football. Do they think 17 other teams don’t play as a team? Do they seriously think they invented some sort of selfless style of brand? It's all Jack ever ******* talks about, it's like it's some sort of amazing thing he and Dimma invented. NEWSFLASH DICKSNAPS, every ******* premiership in history has been because of team orientated football. I know in your 35 ******* years of irrelevance you probably forgot this, but you don’t now need to remind others of the fact. You daft ******* campaigners DIE
**** them and the media train that keeps blowing their wart infested knobs, while we are on the media, why in the absolute **** did we need to hear about what a great ******* team these bunch of ****stains are all because one of their shitheads told a joke once during a quarter break OMFG HE TOLD A JOKE AND PLAYERS LAUGHED, HERE IS A 3 PAGE SPREAD AND 6 DIFFERENT RADIO STATIONS TELLING YOU ALL ABOUT IT, WHAT A GREAT BUNCH OF TEAM ORIENTATED PLAYERS THESE ******* GUYS ARE, HE MADE A JOKE AND THE PLAYERS LAUGHED AREN’T THEY GREAT!!!! ******* DIE!
And you shit campaigner ****stain bandwagon supporters who think you have 38 players in the AA squad this year, **** off back to the urine infested dive you were last seen staring into your shot of Woodstock complaining about your ex wife and everything she got from the marriage split. Also, pay your ******* share in the kids schooling you no hope drain on society. I get it, you finally have a small ray of joy in your otherwise miserable ******* life, but don’t forget once this run is over you’ll still be you. DIE
If there is any sort of football god these self inflated ego team orientated joke telling bar flies will be knocked out in straight sets.
**** them all.
-------------
TRUE HATRED.
If you would like to nominate for a guest spot as a ranter, please PM me!
ROUND 11, 2018
Dreamtime At The G '18
aka uuuuugggGGgghhghHGHHHH
aka uuuuugggGGgghhghHGHHHH
2/6/18
ESSENDON BOMBERS 6.7 43
def. by
RICHMOND TIGERS 17.12 114
---------
ESSENDON BEST: Stringer, Smith, McKernan, Hooker, Merrett
ESSENDON GOALS: McDonald-Tipungwuti 2, Smith, Z. Merrett, Fantasia, Laverde
RICHMOND BEST: Edwards, Martin, Caddy, Nankervis, Short, Conca, Vlastuin
RICHMOND GOALS: Caddy 4, Butler 2, Edwards 2, Nankervis 2, Moore 2, Martin, Ellis, Riewoldt, Graham, Menadue
---------
CHANGES SINCE THEN:
ESSENDON OUTS: McKernan, Laverde, Stewart, Fantasia, Ridley
ESSENDON INS: Brown, Francis, Colyer, Parish, Myers
RICHMOND OUTS: Cotchin, Menadue, Astbury, Butler, Moore, Lambert
RICHMOND INS: Houli, Garthwaite, Rioli, Baker, Castagna, Lloyd
MELBOURNE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: Triple M, SEN, 3AW, ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
SYDNEY:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC, Macquarie 954AM
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
ADELAIDE:
TV: Channel 7 (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST)
RADIO: Triple M, 5AA, ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
PERTH:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 5.30pm AWST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 5.30pm AWST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 5.30pm AWST)
RADIO: 6PR, ABC, ABC Grandstand
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
BRISBANE:
TV: 7mate (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: ABC, Macquarie 882AM
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
TASMANIA:
TV: 7 Tasmania (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.30pm AEST)
RADIO: NIRS, Triple M, ABC, ABC Grandstand, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
DARWIN:
TV: 7 Darwin (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXFooty (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST), FOXTEL Now (LIVE at 7.00pm ACST)
RADIO: NIRS, ABC, ABC Grandstand, AFL Nation
MOBILE: AFL Live Official App with LIVE Pass (Unmetered on Telstra Mobile Network)
I would love for us to be able to make this happen, but I simply can't see it. Our season's swan song is tonight, ladies and gentlemen; it's been a hell of a comeback in the latter half of the season, but tonight will be the end of it.
After 19 straight wins at the MCG, the Tigers would love to make us number 20 on the trot. I can't see their dominance of the grand stage finishing up here, but my god do I hope I'm wrong.
RICHMOND BY 13.
