- Apr 24, 2013
- 2,749
- 7,044
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
Dear Bae,
I bring you a PSA from the all-conquering Dad's Army, the Codgerwood Football and Tai Chi Club, sponsored by Depends.
According to the preliminary ranking of 2024 list ages, we are now the most 'mature' of clubs and thus ineligible to attend any parties hosted by St Kilda or to be found in Jake Stringer's search history (that's right, I just went full Carlos Mencia on Mofra).
This is bad news for those fresh-faced whippersnappers down at Geelong, whose only future lies in fuelling the local youth unemployment crisis even further.
And being a representative of the now most senior and thus wisest club, I would like to officially declare that the only teams that can claim the 'yoof defence' with any credibility for 2024 are North Melbourne, Fremantle, Bottom Fourthorn, and West Coast.
For supporters of any other clubs whose coach or some media flog tries to explain away their pathetic failings by being 'young', know that only a year separates 14th from 4th on the age ladder.
As you watch the Mighty Pies wheel their artificial hips across the line for another flag, I want you to display some humility and acknowledge, like Anna Nicole Smith did when she found true love, that 'age is only a number.' And that your pissant club simply sucks.
I bring you a PSA from the all-conquering Dad's Army, the Codgerwood Football and Tai Chi Club, sponsored by Depends.
According to the preliminary ranking of 2024 list ages, we are now the most 'mature' of clubs and thus ineligible to attend any parties hosted by St Kilda or to be found in Jake Stringer's search history (that's right, I just went full Carlos Mencia on Mofra).
This is bad news for those fresh-faced whippersnappers down at Geelong, whose only future lies in fuelling the local youth unemployment crisis even further.
And being a representative of the now most senior and thus wisest club, I would like to officially declare that the only teams that can claim the 'yoof defence' with any credibility for 2024 are North Melbourne, Fremantle, Bottom Fourthorn, and West Coast.
For supporters of any other clubs whose coach or some media flog tries to explain away their pathetic failings by being 'young', know that only a year separates 14th from 4th on the age ladder.
As you watch the Mighty Pies wheel their artificial hips across the line for another flag, I want you to display some humility and acknowledge, like Anna Nicole Smith did when she found true love, that 'age is only a number.' And that your pissant club simply sucks.
in the coming months
