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Thanks for the clear up there allen13. My statistician will get the arse for that one!

Beaumaris U19's star Tyson Rayner is likely to miss the rest of the season after suffering a serious hamstring injury during last Saturday's win over Old Melbournians. While the Sharks will await the results of scans today, coach Luke Buller has already addressed Rayners' teammates about the...

Jack Coleman, who will play his 45th game on Saturday, was at the centre of Beaumaris' off-season turmoil when damaging photos of teammates Matt Petering, Pete Richter and Michael DeFontanay were posted online after allegedly being stolen from Coleman's computer. The distractions have had an...

north of the river round these days?

i would like to wish jack coleman all the best this weekend. he will be lining up for the Beaumaris R.S.L alongside other notable beaumaris legends teaser, collo and the fist. strongy and wolfgang will be running drinks all night and oranges and nibblies covered by sue and amy. it just so...

Hello football mentalists, My name is snips i want to be coach of beauy u19's 2's please make me a 5 figure offer. snipsy

News has hit the papers once again of another off field descretion that has left Beaumaris captain, Michael de Fontanay, teamless after testing positive to anabolic steroids last night at VAFA headquarters. Coach Bourke met with Coach Mifsud and Co. and agreed that the 19 year old be stripped of...

Not sure where this has come from, last I heard Todd Bastion was pretty cosy with his boys down at St Bedes. In fact last Saturday I had one of my reporters follow Todd back to his house where he snuck in a snap of him feeling pretty smitten with his fellow team mates. (Todd second from the...

Unfortunate news for Beaumaris this week with the injury to Robert 'neighhhhh' Cathcart worse than first thought. The likely winner of this years C Section NAB Rising Star of the year award has a ruptured spleen and will be out of action for the remainder of the season. Cathcart was riding...

anyone headed up werribee way, need a lift (no petty). Snips Whether it be allegation or investigation, snips hutchison will inform.

fantastic win by the om ressies who beat a respectable opponent in rupertswood. can someone tell me why tony bournon isnt playin a grade?

oh he'll give it to ya

Tough game on the weekend between mh and beauy. Beauy lacked height and strength around the ground. Well done to the young player from melb high, jess (wearing yellow boots), for taking mark of the round over beaumaris defenders also. Warwick Capper eat your heart out. Lucky for him I managed to...

vassup, de la salle is super gay. ok

very poor form northy, i wonder what the ice man wud have to say about this

well done to patrick 'homicide' tyquin who on the weekend lost his virginity

Unfortunate news for kinna on the weekend who ripped his hamstring from the bone after attempting to tie his shoe laces up. He will join rhino on a all expenses paid trip to germany courtesy of ressies coach dogga who recently donated a whooping $500 to the club. All piss will be free after...

Chewy on ya boot rupertswood snipper

In a late bid to give the premiership a real crack this season, Beaumaris FC have contracted Britney Speers and lady gaga's 'Disco Stick' last night when the pair were unexpectedly called. In what is arguably the the most controversial move of the season, Coach Mifsud and Co have pulled off what...

Snips r us will be sorely missed