- Banned
- #1
A Tigers fan walks into a bar.
The barman looks across at him and says, "What'll it be?"
"One beer, please," the pathetic Tiger says. "I'm celebrating - the Tiges are 5-0! Best team in the comp!"
The barman doesn't know much about football but he knows how to talk to lonely no-hopers long enough they keep buying beer. He racks his brain for the names of the teams he knows are really good.
"So, you've beaten Adelaide then?" he says.
The Tiger fan's face goes flat.
"No," he said. "Haven't played them."
The mood gets a little awkward, so the barman moves on.
"Oh, so you've beaten GWS then?" he says.
"Not yet," says the Tiger, a little quietly. The barman is getting confused.
"Umm... have you beaten Geelong?" he asks. "What about Port, even over here?"
The Tiger fan looks down at the bar and shakes his head. The barman starts to wonder if he is being had on.
"So tell me mate," he finally asks. "Who have you beaten?"
Our Tiger is quiet for a long time.
"Errr.." he finally says meekly. "Come to think of it mate, no one. Absolutely no one."
The barman is silent. Slowly, he puts down his bar rag and chooses his words carefully.
"You know, I had a very similar conversation with a patron like you this time last year," he says.
"Although that bloke had more teeth. And he was wearing pants."
The Tigers fan looks down. He'd left the house with no pants again. Mum will be ropable.
"Anyway," the barman says. "I'll tell you the same thing I said to him."
The barman pauses, before grabbing the coke hose as quick as he can and spraying our Tiger directly in the face, from point-blank range.
"Get out of my bar you pretender flog" the barman screams, laughing maniacally.
"Come back when you've had one half-decent win. Just a half-decent one."
Half blinded and still pantless, the Tigers fan slinks off out of the bar.
"The worst thing about this," he thinks. "Is that the barman is totally right."
"And all Tiger fans like me know it."
The end
The barman looks across at him and says, "What'll it be?"
"One beer, please," the pathetic Tiger says. "I'm celebrating - the Tiges are 5-0! Best team in the comp!"
The barman doesn't know much about football but he knows how to talk to lonely no-hopers long enough they keep buying beer. He racks his brain for the names of the teams he knows are really good.
"So, you've beaten Adelaide then?" he says.
The Tiger fan's face goes flat.
"No," he said. "Haven't played them."
The mood gets a little awkward, so the barman moves on.
"Oh, so you've beaten GWS then?" he says.
"Not yet," says the Tiger, a little quietly. The barman is getting confused.
"Umm... have you beaten Geelong?" he asks. "What about Port, even over here?"
The Tiger fan looks down at the bar and shakes his head. The barman starts to wonder if he is being had on.
"So tell me mate," he finally asks. "Who have you beaten?"
Our Tiger is quiet for a long time.
"Errr.." he finally says meekly. "Come to think of it mate, no one. Absolutely no one."
The barman is silent. Slowly, he puts down his bar rag and chooses his words carefully.
"You know, I had a very similar conversation with a patron like you this time last year," he says.
"Although that bloke had more teeth. And he was wearing pants."
The Tigers fan looks down. He'd left the house with no pants again. Mum will be ropable.
"Anyway," the barman says. "I'll tell you the same thing I said to him."
The barman pauses, before grabbing the coke hose as quick as he can and spraying our Tiger directly in the face, from point-blank range.
"Get out of my bar you pretender flog" the barman screams, laughing maniacally.
"Come back when you've had one half-decent win. Just a half-decent one."
Half blinded and still pantless, the Tigers fan slinks off out of the bar.
"The worst thing about this," he thinks. "Is that the barman is totally right."
"And all Tiger fans like me know it."
The end
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