Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!

[Brain Power]

Challenge #4 Entry:

One of the many unanswered questions from the Essendon saga concerns Steve Dank - just who is he, and how was he hired in the first place? Perhaps the following recently released transcript from his first day at the club, containing spoken word rhyming done in a staccato manner, will shed some light on this.

Danksta ft. Deanye Weap - Overnight Brownlow Medallists

Oh, you didn't think we could do it again
The Danksta and Deanye Weap
From Geelong Cats to Essendon
From The Cheat Ground to Tulla, oh baby
We can even make you an overnight MVP
You know what I'm saying, come on

Why don't you take some of these pills tonight
Huge pecs I know you’ll like
Danksta you told ‘em right
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight
Give you injections all night
Don’t cry David, it’s alright
Both arms please, left and right
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight

Boys I see you in them 7XL jeans
Huge skinfolds on your back, I wanna know your names
Boys I'm Danksta, I could blow your mind
Endear you to your supporters, you’re maligned
Still shitty when you kick that ball
Can’t even hit the side of a barn at all

James got me moister than an oyster, the way that he talks
Using these supplements to try and catch up to the Hawks
You looking good Jobe, now you’re a midfield bruiser
As opposed to someone who’s on the Biggest Loser
Already lost eighty pounds, thanks to AOD
But you better watch out, it might hurt your fertility
I’ve got these sweet cancer pills, found them in Mexico
And when you try them, you’ll be screaming oh-oh-oh-oh
Don’t be scared, I bought it from an alley in the dark
It’s the same stuff I used down at Kardinia Park

I can see your beep tests on the big screen
I can see one day you might reach fourteen
I can see you on stage, at the awards
With a suit better than Dangerfield’s and lifting big weights
Inject with me, I can shape your lives
Help you to look ripped, find you wives
Though these drugs are a prototype
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight

Why don't you take some of these pills tonight
Huge pecs I know you’ll like
Danksta, you told ‘em right
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight
Give you injections all night
Don’t cry David, it’s alright
Both arms please, left and right
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight

You see baby Jobe
You see how you make Luke Darcy break down
He’s just gonna ask me to say that again
But what you need from me,
Oh, you want to win a flag
I’ve been there done that at Geelong
I can take you there, I can make sure
You win all of the awards
Let me be your sports scientist

Trust me boys, I can take you so far
Turn you into bona fide superstars
Can even get you to 20 & 4
And I’ll get you to the AA awards
We about to do whatever it takes
Throw some pills in our protein shakes
Take you places, inject offsite
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight

If ever you tire of this charade
You must drink some of Jim’s Kool-Aid
Remember it’s okay to have banter
But as Strategy says, be careful of slander
We about to do whatever it takes
Throw some pills in our protein shakes
Take you places, inject offsite
I could make you Brownlow medallists overnight

 

[El Dubya]

It was a norf flog, but not her, I like Sooz.

Royals wrinkly old todger?

 

[Stronzo]

Entry Challenge #IV

You are now about to witness the strength of flog knowledge




Straight outta flog town, crazy motherflipper named craffles
From the gang called Boys with Chick Bits
When I'm called off, my **** is sawed off
Flick my bean, and knobs are gobbed off
You too, boy, if ya lick my crease,
The mods are gonna have to come and get me
Off your ass, 'cause that's what I'm lickin out
For the punk button mashers that's showin' out
Gimpz start to mumble, they want to rumble
Mix 'em and cook 'em in a pot like hot goo
Blowin' off on a homeless man like that
With some scat that's pointed at your chest
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin' when I'm down to for a wax too
Here's a busted coight and I'll fluff you
With a whore record like Kim Duthie
Black Mamba dildo is the tool
Don't make me act the motherflippin' fool
Me you can go toe to heel, no maybe
I knock tops off with my box, daily
Yo weekly, monthly and yearly
Until they've emptied all their bags into me
and That I'm down with the capital FLOG
Boy you can **** me
So when I'm in your neighborhood, I'm sure to duck
'Cause Craffles loves gravy so much
As I leave, believe I'm mincin'
But when I come back, boy, I'm comin' straight outta Flog Town

Yo, Jose (Yes Sir?)
Tell 'em where you from!

Straight outta Flog Town, another crazy loser wigga
the more Pokemon I play, yo, my deck gets bigger
I'm a sad gnome ass, and you know this
But my accountant colleagues won't show this
But I don't give a darn, I'm a collect my stamps
If not from the Post office, from letters freshly franked
Just like ornithology, the definition is birding
And when I've got my notebook its called twitching
Photograph a rare bird in a minute
I find a good crossword and fill up in it
So if you're at a show in the front row
I won't talk to you 'cause you're a girl I don't know
You'll probably be glad like most women are
But that shows me, lady, you're no match for my mama
A crazy motherflipper from Warhammer workshop
Attitude mild, ‘cause I'm making a scrapbook
MC Jose is the Dungeon Master
For any dumb motherflippers its a disaster
Not the right hand, ‘cause I'm the hand itself
Every time I use my Hulk hand to pull off myself
Comic Con is awesome, I just want more
J-O-S-E spells ****, and I'm a bore
See, ‘cause I'm the motherflippin villain
The definition is clear, my posting is vanillin'
Watching on loop Star Trek on the loo
And once I've finished that gonna watch LOTR 2
Look, you might take it as a trip
But a Wigga like Jose is on a Flogster tip
Straight outta Flogtown
(Flogtown Flogtown Flogtown)

Wonka is his name and the boy is comin'

Straight outta Flog Town
Is a brother that'll lather up your tiger
And make your bitzer think I love her
Dangerous motherflipper raising quail
And if I ever get a chance, I'd pork a whale
There's not a beast I wouldn't ****, that's the problem
I see a motherflippin camel, I don't dodge em
But I just start, grope hard, thrust a while
And when I hear the camel groan, I smile
To me it's kinda funny, when I start herding
I'm going to round up some cattle and start pounding
Looking for the one they call Wonky
But I'm at home, with my menagerie
Ruthless, never seen somebody **** a shark
Except when I get a gobby from a gummy
at the water park and pumped a porpoise sans hesitation
And hear the squeals of the one who got the wonka penetration
Feel a little lust for fur and I'm jetting
But leave a memory no one'll be forgetting
So what about the king charles cavalier bitch who got shot? **** her!
You think I give a damn that she's dead? I'd still **** her
This is an autobiography of Wonk-y
And if you ever **** with me
Then I hope you're a Rainbow Lorrakeet
Word to the motherflipper, straight outta Flogtown
(Flogtown Flogtown Flogtown)

Damn, that shit was dope

 

[Wosh]

Some terrific efforts there, very cool

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Apologies for the delay, but this is what happens when you rely on judges from WA.

After consulting with the Mighty Woosh, (Le Grille has gone MIA for now), the winner of this team challenge is The Biggest Loser Tribe.

Congratulations gents, lady and wannabee-hipster, you don't have to vote anyone off your team this round.

Now, for members of The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis, you will have to vote out one of your own. So you'll have until 11 A.M. Wednesday to vote out one of your own tribesmen. Now the immunity idol is in play atm, so be weary of who you vote for, it could backfire if the immunity idol is used.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Dawn to Dark
Chappyuk
Brain Power
Marklar_33

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Smeg Head
Stronzo
Dinsdale

 

[A Cut Above]

Straight outta flog town, crazy motherflipper named craffles
From the gang called Boys with Chick Bits
When I'm called off, my **** is sawed off
Flick my bean, and knobs are gobbed off
You too, boy, if ya lick my crease,
The mods are gonna have to come and get me
Off your ass, 'cause that's what I'm lickin out
For the punk button mashers that's showin' out
Gimpz start to mumble, they want to rumble
Mix 'em and cook 'em in a pot like hot goo
Blowin' off on a homeless man like that
With some scat that's pointed at your chest
So give it up smooth
Ain't no tellin' when I'm down to for a wax too
Here's a busted coight and I'll fluff you
With a whore record like Kim Duthie
Black Mamba dildo is the tool
Don't make me act the motherflippin' fool
Me you can go toe to heel, no maybe
I knock tops off with my box, daily
Yo weekly, monthly and yearly
Until they've emptied all their bags into me
and That I'm down with the capital FLOG
Boy you can **** me
So when I'm in your neighborhood, I'm sure to duck
'Cause Craffles loves gravy so much
As I leave, believe I'm mincin'
But when I come back, boy, I'm comin' straight outta Flog Town

Yo, Jose (Yes Sir?)
Tell 'em where you from!

Straight outta Flog Town, another crazy loser wigga
the more Pokemon I play, yo, my deck gets bigger
I'm a sad gnome ass, and you know this
But my accountant colleagues won't show this
But I don't give a darn, I'm a collect my stamps
If not from the Post office, from letters freshly franked
Just like ornithology, the definition is birding
And when I've got my notebook its called twitching
Photograph a rare bird in a minute
I find a good crossword and fill up in it
So if you're at a show in the front row
I won't talk to you 'cause you're a girl I don't know
You'll probably be glad like most women are
But that shows me, lady, you're no match for my mama
A crazy motherflipper from Warhammer workshop
Attitude mild, ‘cause I'm making a scrapbook
MC Jose is the Dungeon Master
For any dumb motherflippers its a disaster
Not the right hand, ‘cause I'm the hand itself
Every time I use my Hulk hand to pull off myself
Comic Con is awesome, I just want more
J-O-S-E spells ****, and I'm a bore
See, ‘cause I'm the motherflippin villain
The definition is clear, my posting is vanillin'
Watching on loop Star Trek on the loo
And once I've finished that gonna watch LOTR 2
Look, you might take it as a trip
But a Wigga like Jose is on a Flogster tip
Straight outta Flogtown
(Flogtown Flogtown Flogtown)

Wonka is his name and the boy is comin'

Straight outta Flog Town
Is a brother that'll lather up your tiger
And make your bitzer think I love her
Dangerous motherflipper raising quail
And if I ever get a chance, I'd pork a whale
There's not a beast I wouldn't ****, that's the problem
I see a motherflippin camel, I don't dodge em
But I just start, grope hard, thrust a while
And when I hear the camel groan, I smile
To me it's kinda funny, when I start herding
I'm going to round up some cattle and start pounding
Looking for the one they call Wonky
But I'm at home, with my menagerie
Ruthless, never seen somebody **** a shark
Except when I get a gobby from a gummy
at the water park and pumped a porpoise sans hesitation
And hear the squeals of the one who got the wonka penetration
Feel a little lust for fur and I'm jetting
But leave a memory no one'll be forgetting
So what about the king charles cavalier bitch who got shot? **** her!
You think I give a damn that she's dead? I'd still **** her
This is an autobiography of Wonk-y
And if you ever **** with me
Then I hope you're a Rainbow Lorrakeet
Word to the motherflipper, straight outta Flogtown
(Flogtown Flogtown Flogtown)

Damn, that shit was dope

 

[Dinsdale]

KoD's win again? I shouldn't be surprised!

 

[Wosh]

KoD's win again? I shouldn't be surprised!

I don't have a dick (anymore) and if I did I wouldn't let any of you flogs near it with your filthy lips

All members of Biggest Losers managed to get an entry in and most of them were quality
2 members of Illegitimate Children did not put in an entry and a couple of the entries just wern't that good.

Easy choice

 

[Dinsdale]

I don't have a dick (anymore) and if I did I wouldn't let any of you flogs near it with your filthy lips

All members of Biggest Losers managed to get an entry in and most of them were quality
2 members of Illegitimate Children did not put in an entry and a couple of the entries just wern't that good.

Easy choice

I didnt say you had a dick!

All members of Biggest Losers managed to get a wall of text in and most of them were tl;dr

 

[El Dubya]

I didnt say you had a dick!

I made a rap and Allikat made a ridic mashup.

 

[Le Grille]

Apologies for the delay, but this is what happens when you rely on judges from WA.

After consulting with the Mighty Woosh, (Le Grille has gone MIA for now), the winner of this team challenge is The Biggest Loser Tribe.

Congratulations gents, lady and wannabee-hipster, you don't have to vote anyone off your team this round.

Now, for members of The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis, you will have to vote out one of your own. So you'll have until 11 A.M. Wednesday to vote out one of your own tribesmen. Now the immunity idol is in play atm, so be weary of who you vote for, it could backfire if the immunity idol is used.

You think im getting up at 4 am for this shit, you have another thing coming.

 

[El Dubya]

You think im getting up at 4 am for this shit, you have another thing coming.

Live in a better state d/h.

 

[Le Grille]

Live in a better state top bloke.

I wish.

Last year, I was offered a job in Geelong and we were all set to go then my wife's parents laid the guilt trip on, hence we stayed. The plan was to commute from Torquay.

 

[El Dubya]

I wish.

Last year, I was offered a job in Geelong and we were all set to go then my wife's parents laid the guilt trip on, hence we stayed. The plan was to commute from Torquay.

You could have been Sam Menegola.

 

[richoatthedisco]

I wish.

Last year, I was offered a job in Geelong and we were all set to go then my wife's parents laid the guilt trip on, hence we stayed. The plan was to commute from Torquay.

Your in-laws suck.

 

[Le Grille]

Your in-laws suck.

Took me a while to get over to be honest. I had to consciously had to put it aside so there was no tension in front of the kids.

 

[richoatthedisco]

Took me a while to get over to be honest. I had to consciously had to put it aside so there was no tension in front of the kids.

What did your missus want to do?

 

[Le Grille]

What did your missus want to do?

She was keen until the parents guilted us. Now I can't see her wanting to leave.

 

[richoatthedisco]

She was keen until the parents guilted us. Now I can't see her wanting to leave.

Pretty selfish of her parents.

 

[A Cut Above]

Last year, I was offered a job in Geelong and we were all set to go

 

[Dinsdale]

when did the island become a chat room?

 

[Floyd]

SCENE 1, A TWO BEDROOM FLAT IN BALCATTA

Le Grille: Great news honey! There's a new servo opening in Grovedale and they're looking for someone to work the register! This could be the big break we've been looking for!

Mrs Grille: err, that sounds great sweetie...

SCENE TWO, OUTSIDE, 30 MINUTES LATER

Mrs. Grille (on a mobile phone, whispering urgently): You are not going to believe this mum, the campaigner wants to move me and the kids to Geelong! Do something!

SCENE THREE, NEXT DAY, FAMILY BARBEQUE AT MRS. GRILLE'S PARENTS HOUSE

Le Grille: Thanks for the lunch sir, it was fantastic!

Mrs. Grille's Dad: If you think about moving to Geelong I'll cut your balls off.

Le Grille:....

Mrs. Grille's Dad: LOL Norf

THE END

 

[Le Grille]

SCENE 1, A TWO BEDROOM FLAT IN BALCATTA

Le Grille: Great news honey! There's a new servo opening in Grovedale and they're looking for someone to work the register! This could be the big break we've been looking for!

Mrs Grille: err, that sounds great sweetie...

SCENE TWO, OUTSIDE, 30 MINUTES LATER

Mrs. Grille (on a mobile phone, whispering urgently): You are not going to believe this mum, the campaigner wants to move me and the kids to Geelong! Do something!

SCENE THREE, NEXT DAY, FAMILY BARBEQUE AT MRS. GRILLE'S PARENTS HOUSE

Le Grille: Thanks for the lunch sir, it was fantastic!

Mrs. Grille's Dad: If you think about moving to Geelong I'll cut your balls off.

Le Grille:....

Mrs. Grille's Dad: LOL Norf

THE END

I would never live in Balcatta