Blonde Jokes

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The Blonde Year In Review

January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter.

March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years."

April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.

September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."

October - Hates M &M's because they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120.

December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.
 
Blonde Joke

There was a brunette, a redhead and a blonde all sitting together for lunch at school.
The brunette had a Vegemite sandwich and she goes "If I have Vegemite on more time, I'll kill myself."
The redhead had a penut butter sandwich and she says "If I have get peanut butter sandwich one more time, I'll commit suicide."
The blonde has a jam sandwich and she proclaims "If I have a jam sandwich one more time, I'm going to kill myself.

The next day, they each have the same thing as before and they kill themselves.

At the funeral, the brunette's mum goes, "If she had told she didn't want it, I would have made something different."
The redhead's mum goes, "If she had told me what she didn't want, I wouldn't have made it."
Then the blonde's mum goes, "Well, don't look at me, she made her own sandwich."
 

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Blonde roomies

An old but classic blonde joke:

There were two blonde roommates who decided they each wanted a pet. They agreed that each would buy a mouse. So they went to the pet store, each bought a mouse, put them in the same cage and were happy.
Then one blonde said "Wait, how are we suppose to know which is mine, and which is yours?"
After thinking for a while, the second blonde said "I know, I'll cut a leg off my mouse, that way mine is the one with three legs!"
"Genius!" said the first blonde, as they cut the leg off one of the mice.
Over night, the mouse with four legs looked at the mouse with three legs and got jealous, wanting three legs also, so it gnawed through one of it's own legs.
In the morning the blondes woke up and were shocked to find both mice had three legs, and weren't able to tell the two apart. So they cut another leg off one mouse.
Again, over night, the mouse with three legs saw the mouse with two legs and also wanted two legs, so it gnawed through another of it's own legs.
This kept going on until the mice only had a head and a body.
So finally one blonde said to the other "How about you have the black mouse and I'll have the white one?"
 
Re: Blonde roomies

Disappointed. I thought this was going to be about a website I saw once.
 

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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get Started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.


She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
to
Her and says,



"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to

Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."



He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a

Nice cup of tea, and then ....." he said with a deep sigh,







"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
 
Chief said:
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get Started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.


She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns
to
Her and says,



"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to

Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."



He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a

Nice cup of tea, and then ....." he said with a deep sigh,







"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Click to expand...
LOL. Very funny.

Why was the Blonde throwing away all the M&M's?


She was trying to find any W's
 

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Blonde Jokes

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