Collingwood Jokes.

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Q. Two collingwood supporters are sitting in a car with no music. Who is driving

A. The policeman


Q. What does a collingwood supporter use for protection?

A. A bus shelter


Q. What do you call a 30 year old woman in a collingwood jumper?

A. Nanna


Q. What do you say to a collingwood supporter with a job?

A. Can i have fries with that
 
need to get the collingwood juices going again

Following in the footsteps of Darren Millane - (only killed himself , we were lucky!) the pretty painted tools at eddieville are certainly showing their fans that they are worthy of their fawning.

hey, the new collingwood clash strip could be skins (vs the shirts)

or to save their fans money they could adopt prison orange
 

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I was on my way to a Collingwood game as I was walking, i looked up. I was surrounded by the lowest of low life scum. Low life criminals dressed in Collingwood gear. Assaultist, meth heads, bikies and general prison folk. They were covered in tattoos shouting obscenities all the whilst being cheered by there hooker wives. Then I received a tap on the shoulder

"Sir could you please leave, this is the players locker room, they are preparing for a match"
 
What did the criminal say to the Collingwood fan?

A: Heres your autograph mate, thanks for coming to the game
 
God you could have at the very least come up with one original.
These are all either Carlton jokes or jokes which at one time features our indigenous population.

I came here to look for some humour not just a heap of bad plagiarism.

Lift your games you lot.
 
Recently I bought a new car but I had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The car salesman explained that the radio was voice-activated and demonstrated this brilliant feature.

"Nelson," the salesman called to the radio.

The radio then responded "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he called back and immediately the radio burst into song "On the Road Again".

Then the salesman calls "Ray Charles," and in an instant " Georgia on My Mind" immediately replaces the Willie Nelson song.

I drove away very happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd receive beautiful classical music for the afternoon.

Then I would say "Beatles," and I would hear a multitude of those great awesome songs from the 60-80's.

It was fun and even my girl friend got into it too.

"Billy Joel" and up came 'The Piano Man" "Rolling Stones" and up came "Jumpin Jack Flash" plus many other great Stone's hits.

But yesterday, I had the best experience of all.

A couple tried to run a red light and I nearly creamed my new car, but luckily I managed to swerve in time to avoid hitting them.

I immediately yelled in anger, "Arse Holes!"

Guess what !!

Immediately up came the song " Good old Collingwood for ever ............"
 
What is a Collingwood fans favorite educational video?

Prison Break

What do Collingwood and winter have in common?

Neither are still around by September

Why do Lexus sponsor Collingwood?

Without Collingwood fans Lexus owners wouldnt have to buy a 2nd car after having there first one stolen

What did the Collingwood player say to the prostitute?

I do
 

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Collingwood FC

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njpski said:
Checking match stats Adelaide got 4 more free kicks

but Collingwood had 23 more clangers

nuff said
Click to expand...
It's not how many they got, it's how they got them and how those free kicks affected the result!

Maybe the free kick count was lopsided because Collingwood are an undisciplined mob of hacks?
Click to expand...
You're exactly right!:rolleyes:
 
Poor DoubleO7. So proud and stubborn he feels the need to stand up for his team in the humour board. Or should I just say stupid. Yeah i'll go with stupid.

Hey stupid, this is the humour board, nobody cares. Take your shit to bay 13.
 
Takes one to know one... since this is the humour board, i'll act like a child.

Passing an office building late one night, a pie supporter saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the pie supporter, "what do you want?"

"I just want to know why you can't ring the bell for yourself?"
 
Once there was a man; who also happened to be the Smartest Man in the World.
He had an IQ of 312, which also meant he had no Friends.
In desperate search of Answers to his Social Problems, he visited a Scientist, who possessed a Machine that could lower his IQ.
At the Scientists Laboratory, he hopped into the Machine. The Scientist pushed the Lever. His IQ slowly went down. All of a sudden, the Machine went out of Control; and his IQ quickly plummeted to Zero.
He hopped out of the Machine. In extreme worry and panic, the frantic Scientist begged and told him 'Say Something, Say Something!'.
The other man then said 'Go Pies!'.
 
Eddie McGuire flies
to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play aussie rules with the deployed Digger peacekeepers. Totally impressed, Eddie arranges for him to come over to Collingwood as project player;Carlton and Sydney have their Irish boys, Collingwood could tap into the massive Middle-Eastern market he reasons.
He's signed to a one-year rolling contract and the kid joins the team for the pre-season. Four weeks into the season, the magpies are down by 6 goals to Carlton with only 10 minutes left. The coach gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation kicks 7 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the magpies off his own boot! The fans are thrilled, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media are in love with the new star.
When the player comes off the ground he phones his mum to tell her about his first day of AFL. 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says. 'I played for 10 minutes today, we were 6 goals down, but I kicked 7 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media. 'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed; your sister and I were ambushed, r*ped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.' The young Iraqi is very upset. 'What can I say mum, I'm so sorry.' 'Sorry? You're sorry?' says his mum, 'it’s your fault we moved to Collingwood in the first place!’
 

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Collingwood Jokes.

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