Cricketers thread

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There is something wrong with me. I retired at the end of last season, too old, too sore, just content not to play.

And the club says "we are short a couple of players in the 1s, can you play"?

And I thought " sure, bat at 11, not bowl, field first slip all day, sounds OK I guess"...which wasn't what they meant.

Team was pretty bare and as I start getting narky at batting 4th drop I start counting the bowlers...shit

Luckily, did not have to bat, which was nice but 7 overs later, I am so ****ing sore in my zero gravity massage chair drinking pints...which isn't the worst way to while away the hours but still. No wickets today but 7 overs for 11 runs in a one-dayer wasn't the worst result
 
Jumboprince said:
There is something wrong with me. I retired at the end of last season, too old, too sore, just content not to play.

And the club says "we are short a couple of players in the 1s, can you play"?

And I thought " sure, bat at 11, not bowl, field first slip all day, sounds OK I guess"...which wasn't what they meant.

Team was pretty bare and as I start getting narky at batting 4th drop I start counting the bowlers...sh*t

Luckily, did not have to bat, which was nice but 7 overs later, I am so ******* sore in my zero gravity massage chair drinking pints...which isn't the worst way to while away the hours but still. No wickets today but 7 overs for 11 runs in a one-dayer wasn't the worst result
Click to expand...

You're never really retired, you just get to a point when they stop calling you when they're short.
 

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So this year, to try something different, I left my club of 15 years to play for another. I felt really bad doing it, so much so, I couldn't even talk to them before the transfer request was made. I mean, I wrote a few texts that I didn't send, wanted to call but just couldn't, it was like separating from a long term partner I didn't enjoy being at the club anymore, so i made the break... a somewhat gutless break I guess.

Anyways, it's all done now...and I only have to face my old team in a fortnight, so that should be fun, sort of like turning up to your ex girlfriends with your new partner, who is thinner and better looking...I'm sure it will be a fun time.

To the match, I really wanted to play in the lowest grade but the B grade captain, whom I had tortured for years with big innings was keen for me to play B grade with him and given the game was to be played on turf, on the premier ground in the district, I was keen...to not bowl and bat 11, fielding fine leg to fine leg.

Great plans of mice and men never come to fruition and sadly he wanted me to bowl the 5th allotment of overs in the One Day match. At least he wanted me to share the overs which was nice, so after a poor first over ( which is always the dream when you are playing for a new team and 7 people are going "why are you giving the noob another over?" to the three people saying "he's not usually this bad" I came back to take 2-11 off 4 overs. In the end with tight bowling, we restricted them on an up and down pitch with a slow outfield to 105 off 35 overs.

We batted and the lowest I could get was 3rd drop. My batting last year was really bad , don't think I broke double figures all season, so i was stoked to go out and disappoint another bunch of people but I remembered the words of an old timer I used to play with who said you had to take your time on turf pitches, get the feel for it and then make runs, so I took the advice and played a slow innings. The best thing about coming to the wicket was finding out that on the oppo team, they had a gun A grade player filling in, who was a very good A grade bowler...and there he was with the keeping gloves on, so at least I didn't have to face him.

I scored a few runs before the drinks break ( we were 5-50) and when I returned, I was surveying the field and I thought, "whose that dickhead wearing the gloves, where is whatshisname"...only to look at who was bowling...****.

Wickets kept falling but I was working some runs and getting some partnerships going and we got to 8-102...and then I got out trying to late cut a ball that would have won the match, feathered it through to the keeper.

Just shitty as, we lost, I was in, we had overs to spare, I should have taken a single off one of the last balls from the over and faced the gun bowler but I got out and the tail could not see it through, particularly when they swing haymakers at yorkers on middle stump. Still, 22 hard fought runs (top scored) and a belief in my batting returned.

Next game...
 
spenze said:
So this year, to try something different, I left my club of 15 years to play for another. I felt really bad doing it, so much so, I couldn't even talk to them before the transfer request was made. I mean, I wrote a few texts that I didn't send, wanted to call but just couldn't, it was like separating from a long term partner I didn't enjoy being at the club anymore, so i made the break... a somewhat gutless break I guess.

Anyways, it's all done now...and I only have to face my old team in a fortnight, so that should be fun, sort of like turning up to your ex girlfriends with your new partner, who is thinner and better looking...I'm sure it will be a fun time.

To the match, I really wanted to play in the lowest grade but the B grade captain, whom I had tortured for years with big innings was keen for me to play B grade with him and given the game was to be played on turf, on the premier ground in the district, I was keen...to not bowl and bat 11, fielding fine leg to fine leg.

Great plans of mice and men never come to fruition and sadly he wanted me to bowl the 5th allotment of overs in the One Day match. At least he wanted me to share the overs which was nice, so after a poor first over ( which is always the dream when you are playing for a new team and 7 people are going "why are you giving the noob another over?" to the three people saying "he's not usually this bad" I came back to take 2-11 off 4 overs. In the end with tight bowling, we restricted them on an up and down pitch with a slow outfield to 105 off 35 overs.

We batted and the lowest I could get was 3rd drop. My batting last year was really bad , don't think I broke double figures all season, so i was stoked to go out and disappoint another bunch of people but I remembered the words of an old timer I used to play with who said you had to take your time on turf pitches, get the feel for it and then make runs, so I took the advice and played a slow innings. The best thing about coming to the wicket was finding out that on the oppo team, they had a gun A grade player filling in, who was a very good A grade bowler...and there he was with the keeping gloves on, so at least I didn't have to face him.

I scored a few runs before the drinks break ( we were 5-50) and when I returned, I was surveying the field and I thought, "whose that dickhead wearing the gloves, where is whatshisname"...only to look at who was bowling...fu**.

Wickets kept falling but I was working some runs and getting some partnerships going and we got to 8-102...and then I got out trying to late cut a ball that would have won the match, feathered it through to the keeper.

Just shitty as, we lost, I was in, we had overs to spare, I should have taken a single off one of the last balls from the over and faced the gun bowler but I got out and the tail could not see it through, particularly when they swing haymakers at yorkers on middle stump. Still, 22 hard fought runs (top scored) and a belief in my batting returned.

Next game...
Click to expand...

I guess you never fully got over those blokes drinking your beer.
 
1970crow said:
I guess you never fully got over those blokes drinking your beer.
Click to expand...

Could be that, maybe a bit of playing with a group of guys for so long that you don't understand why you are batting in front of guys you feel are better than you, it played with my mind.

In this group of blokes, I don't know enough about them so I can go out and play with no thoughts in the back of my mind whilst trying to get some runs
 
spenze said:
Could be that, maybe a bit of playing with a group of guys for so long that you don't understand why you are batting in front of guys you feel are better than you, it played with my mind.

In this group of blokes, I don't know enough about them so I can go out and play with no thoughts in the back of my mind whilst trying to get some runs
Click to expand...

it could be that, but they also drank all your Boags. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
 

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So SOS has taken up this great sport (Son of Spenze).

Has never had an interest in sport up til this year (never pushed it) but this year his mates do so he is happy to have a go. So, I have pulled the whites for his club and will play a few more years to get a game with him. Ironically, I will be qualified for senior cricket around that time...and he can say, "Dad, you're crap, can't catch, can't bowl, can't bat, is your last name Mueller".

Still, exciting to watch him play, you just want them to do well, even if he is the smallest and youngest on the team. He still needs work but he does come from good stock ( not me necessarily but my Uncle represented his country in soccer and my mum represented her country in the Olympics...and didn't she bring that one out because her son was being lectured...anyways).

So he had a go, cheered him on, he is obviously scared of all the older boys in the team so I had to yell at him to join the wicket celebrations but when they batted, I walked him out to where the team was sitting and sat with him and made him join in. It was good, they have to retire after a certain amount of balls and if they do, the team all stands with their bats out for the player to walk under. He got into it and felt more like being in the team.

He also got to face the last two overs and red ink peoples, red ink and the team all got around him and cheered him on, it was really good.

The bad part is...I am playing cricket again, so you'll be hearing some stories about an old old man, struggling to walk...and that's before the game
 
Ive enjoyed reading your stories and now looking forward to more.

I came out of retirement last season after 10 years retired (life change, relationship end , suddenly a lot of time on my hands and my decision how I spend it), but at 55 it's a lot harder than it used to be! I can't train Thurs night because it likely means I won't be in any condition to play Saturday and I can't train Tues night because I'm still recovering from Saturday... but at lowest grade one-dayers who cares?

The social side is for me now more enjoyable than playing. Beers and talking shit while cooking the BBQ on a Thurs night, or after the game on Sat can't be beaten!

Dont get me wrong, I still love playing and the whole point of our LO7 side is to get old players back to club and give them an opportunity to play a game or 2 with their kids. I never ever thought I'd get to play cricket with my son, who was never really interested (apart from watching, or the odd net session with his mates), but the club needed a barman for Thursday nights , and he took that on and really got involved and interested in the club and the game and decided he'd be available as a fill in if we were short. He can't really bat or bowl but is athletic and a gun in the field, and we ended up playing 4 games together. It made my summer!
 
Sadly had to work away today so only got back at the innings break for the boy...to find out he scored two runs, red ink again. He does talk up being a batsman a bit to be fair, I mean I see a lot of holes in his technique but I will give him that he has a good eye. Most of the time in the nets (and I really have to hold myself back because I don't want to make it unenjoyable...though that would mean I could stay on the couch) he doesn't move his feet just leans across and fair crack, it comes off the middle.

So I missed his runs but I'm sure he'll get more.

His bowling is a work in progress though for some reason for a kid who was born in 2014, he has decided to take a late 70s Michael Holding run-up. Given his pace, I'm not sure he needs that long a run up to find his rhythm and quite frankly at my age, I'd have a heart attack before I got to the pitch but that is him.

Still...his first pole of his newly-fledged career, the team all got around him, one to congratulate him but more to protect the outgoing batsman from the send off my son gave him. Thank god Bairstow wasn't there or he'd of gone on about spirit something something cricket. Anyways, really proud, cheered too much but he's a happy youngfella.

The worst part about this is there is a challenge set now for best cricketer in the house, less than 2, no wicket and I'm on the bottom of the pile and if the send off to that kid was harsh, I'm in fear what awaits me if I quack it up and don't get a pole.
 
Brown_DOG68 said:
Ive enjoyed reading your stories and now looking forward to more.

I came out of retirement last season after 10 years retired (life change, relationship end , suddenly a lot of time on my hands and my decision how I spend it), but at 55 it's a lot harder than it used to be! I can't train Thurs night because it likely means I won't be in any condition to play Saturday and I can't train Tues night because I'm still recovering from Saturday... but at lowest grade one-dayers who cares?

The social side is for me now more enjoyable than playing. Beers and talking s**t while cooking the BBQ on a Thurs night, or after the game on Sat can't be beaten!

Dont get me wrong, I still love playing and the whole point of our LO7 side is to get old players back to club and give them an opportunity to play a game or 2 with their kids. I never ever thought I'd get to play cricket with my son, who was never really interested (apart from watching, or the odd net session with his mates), but the club needed a barman for Thursday nights , and he took that on and really got involved and interested in the club and the game and decided he'd be available as a fill in if we were short. He can't really bat or bowl but is athletic and a gun in the field, and we ended up playing 4 games together. It made my summer!
Click to expand...
Yeah, have captained a few teams where sons and dads have played and you can tell the dads have really enjoyed it.

To your other point, I think cricket clubs are an underrated social sphere for guys to collect, have a beer and snag and just talk bollocks. Sometimes that is just good for the soul.
 
spenze said:
Sadly had to work away today so only got back at the innings break for the boy...to find out he scored two runs, red ink again. He does talk up being a batsman a bit to be fair, I mean I see a lot of holes in his technique but I will give him that he has a good eye. Most of the time in the nets (and I really have to hold myself back because I don't want to make it unenjoyable...though that would mean I could stay on the couch) he doesn't move his feet just leans across and fair crack, it comes off the middle.

So I missed his runs but I'm sure he'll get more.

His bowling is a work in progress though for some reason for a kid who was born in 2014, he has decided to take a late 70s Michael Holding run-up. Given his pace, I'm not sure he needs that long a run up to find his rhythm and quite frankly at my age, I'd have a heart attack before I got to the pitch but that is him.

Still...his first pole of his newly-fledged career, the team all got around him, one to congratulate him but more to protect the outgoing batsman from the send off my son gave him. Thank god Bairstow wasn't there or he'd of gone on about spirit something something cricket. Anyways, really proud, cheered too much but he's a happy youngfella.

The worst part about this is there is a challenge set now for best cricketer in the house, less than 2, no wicket and I'm on the bottom of the pile and if the send off to that kid was harsh, I'm in fear what awaits me if I quack it up and don't get a pole.
Click to expand...

sounds like catching his runs is a fair bit harder than missing them. Has he considered umpiring?
 
spenze said:
Sadly had to work away today so only got back at the innings break for the boy...to find out he scored two runs, red ink again. He does talk up being a batsman a bit to be fair, I mean I see a lot of holes in his technique but I will give him that he has a good eye. Most of the time in the nets (and I really have to hold myself back because I don't want to make it unenjoyable...though that would mean I could stay on the couch) he doesn't move his feet just leans across and fair crack, it comes off the middle.

So I missed his runs but I'm sure he'll get more.

His bowling is a work in progress though for some reason for a kid who was born in 2014, he has decided to take a late 70s Michael Holding run-up. Given his pace, I'm not sure he needs that long a run up to find his rhythm and quite frankly at my age, I'd have a heart attack before I got to the pitch but that is him.

Still...his first pole of his newly-fledged career, the team all got around him, one to congratulate him but more to protect the outgoing batsman from the send off my son gave him. Thank god Bairstow wasn't there or he'd of gone on about spirit something something cricket. Anyways, really proud, cheered too much but he's a happy youngfella.

The worst part about this is there is a challenge set now for best cricketer in the house, less than 2, no wicket and I'm on the bottom of the pile and if the send off to that kid was harsh, I'm in fear what awaits me if I quack it up and don't get a pole.
Click to expand...

nickname should be Warwick.
 
So, out of retirement...just quietly, when I retire from work, that's it, they need to come with a stupid, stupid money offer for me to reconsider but cricket...it's a bit easier.

Now I know most will think, he has a lot of gear so he probably wouldn't have needed to buy anymore, he'd have just used what he had...well shame on you, like that was ever going to be the case. I did sell my Hitman bat to a mate who given I was retired asked if he could buy it and did but that just left me with a Laver and Wood Reserve bat. As soon as I had decided to get going, I contacted Lachie Fisher to see if he was still making bats. The good news is he is, the bad news is he is a deeply reclusive enigma who doesn't like using email but it is his only form of communication.

So new gloves, new bat, new pads, new bag but still the same box being used for how many years now?

Anyways, walk out of the house today to the boy reminding me of the score to beat, secretly it was great, it was that same competitive shite my brother and i always used to bang on at each other with, he was the better cricketer, I had him covered for footy.

Get out to the oval, no real need for introductions as I have played against most of the guys for years but my hope of batting last dissolved when the captain says "Spenze, can you open"?

Seriously, it was uncalled for but I batted with a player who is a couple of years older than me who bats, singles or fours and I totally get that the older I am. So I face up the second over and almost get off the mark with an outstanding back foot square drive to see it dragged in by an over-enthusiastic young man. I mean it was great fielding and I applauded but I still had 3 runs to get. Next ball was a little short and wide, they had a slip and gully but if your throwing hands, throw hard and I am still the best bat in the house, four through backward point.

I will, say at this point, Fisher makes a bloody good bat, sadly not good enough to make up for my god damned inability not to drive in the air before 30. I know better, I really do, don't play across the line, don't font foot drive and sadly I hit a crap shot to mid off that I got absolutely nothing on...I'd have been better playing across the line. Anyways 14 runs so stick that up your arse SOS.

The rest of the team batted well and we ended up 3-200 after 35.

At this stage I thought, if I keep my head down, look anonymous I might get to go fine leg to fine leg, lose a kilo from the jogging but not have to bowl. I had noticed our bowling was light so I thought I might have to bowl but FMD " can you open the bowling".

Obviously, a new cherry is just gold to bowl with and it had been a while, it just swings so far. Whilst I was unable to take a wicket, I thought 6 overs 3 maidens 0-6 was a pretty good effort. It was pretty good given the shite i bowled in the nets a couple of weeks ago. It was simple stuff, outswinger is my stock ball, maybe one or two off-cutters and a knuckle ball to change it up ( though I fear my knuckle ball and effort ball are indistinguishable these days.

Still 0-6 off 6, surely the boy would see that as the equal of his effort of 2 overs, 9 wides and a wicket but apparently not, I am a loser and he did what he calls "the loser dance" to back up his position. All I could think whilst he was doing his dance was "I could have just pulled out".

Anyways, we won, I dropped two catches but then took the hardest of the three...ahhh cricket.

Highlight of the day was we had a couple of under 14s in our side today, one 12 one 13 but it was good to have two kids who can actually field. One of them, Jack has achieved legend status after fielding deep point and a batsman skied a ball to third man, Jack ran after it and from my position, always looked just a step or two short of the ball til he stuck out his hand and he snaffled it.

Jeez it was a good catch, us old fellas were more excited than he was and he was pretty excited. It did remind us of stuff we could do when we were younger and he was just entering those 17 years where he could do stuff like this, lucky bastard.

So we won by 70 runs, I think but it is a long season and I have to wait til next week to get a wicket. Knowing my son, he'll get two next week to up the ante.
 
I didn't post last week, we lost, I scored 14 again against my old team and then stood out in the field on a freezing cold day shivering wondering why I don't have a cricket jumper...and then it dawned on me, I had bought one over winter, I had forgotten about it.

What a twat I am, did take a couple of wickets though but may have overstepped when I tore strips off the top end of the side, we only scored ninety. The captain looked at me with that "steady on mate, I'll rip into them if you don't mind." I think we were meant to go on one of those " we needed more runs etc etc" things but sometimes you have to be blunt, too many double figures, not enough 30s being compiled.

SOS took another wicket though which was good to see
 
Onto this week though and the hardest part of tearing strips off the top 6 for underperforming...and you are part of the top 6 is you kinda have to walk the walk. It was really hard this week too, both bowlers were a little faster than a 53 year old bat can take and in the first ten overs I really didn't feel like I wouldn't be out next ball.

Still, I hung around and was really stoked to get past 14 with a cut shot in front of point. Batting is improving but in sight of 50 I hit a nothing shot that spooned and an overachieving fielder made the metres to get there, what a prick. Anyways, out for 48, so a little better but still some way to go. This week the lower order batted around the top 6 bat to give us a fairly decent score or 172 form the 35 overs.

It's a decent score but they are a good batting side with some serious hitters and we were missing our opening bowler after his dog pulled him over on his walk and he concussed himself on the road. I'd like to say he had some huge dog that couldn't be controlled but sadly that was not the case. As a team, we have asked for him to hand in his man card.

Things went even worse when on my first delivery, the batsman dollied a ball back to me that I missed. The only thing that made it better was that he hit my next two deliveries for a six and a four...wait, no, that sucked balls.

So with 4 overs down they were 0-52 and things weren't looking great and I had 2 overs down for 20 runs.

I may have said this before but it may be November but somebody was turning back the clock to finish his seven overs with 6-29 including a three wicket maiden in his last. Quietly, I was stoked, it was my best bowling figures, have had a few fives for but never a six for and I almost wanted to get on the phone with SOS and let him know he has a long, long way to go.

The game ticked along and even though we had them nine down with a total still to make, they had a guy hiding down at this grade who smashed them to within 8 runs.

We then brought on our Indian ring in Abe, who apparently "can't bowl" but then proceeds to bowl a flipper first up, knocks middle out of the ground and then proceeds to run with his arms out airplane style. We had to call him back, we're all way too old to chase down a super stoked, win the game with my first ball young fella.

Still, an eight run victory in one of the better matches I have played in, the beers have been going down well.
 

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