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When I was much younger mum would send me up to the corner shop with $2. I would come back with a loaf of bread, 6 eggs, a packet of bacon, 4 potatoes, a packet of tea and a bottle of milk. Can't do that these days - too many security cameras.
 

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This isn't a joke but a mate of mine who is in his 60s told me about the time he recently took viagra and forget his blood presssure pills and ended up with what felt like a big throbbing head.
 
My wife accused me of achieving nothing in life so I told her, “Well, I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.”
She said, “What's that?”
I said, “It's a big building with kids in it, but that’s not important right now.”
 
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Dad jokes - add yours

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