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[Nugett]

Can that information be included in your will, or does it need to be separate?

I’m not too sure. I’d imagine you could include it in your Will if you wish. Although It would be pretty hard to have it enforced with them being personal preferences. It’s not like assets which are more tangible rather than personal.

As an example you can’t force someone to be a pallbearer, which is what a will would require, you can have a preference for someone to be a pall bearer, where they have the right to say no, so you can replace that person with another if need be, without breaking the will.

You’re probably better off talking with family and friends on your wishes for when you die or writing down on a piece of paper what you wish to do. With instructions regarding arrangements, songs that you would like played ect.

With what I’m going through with my mum at the moment, it’s got me thinking of writing a Will, look at some sort of life insurance policy, start thinking about my own arrangements just in case, so that people will have an understanding of my wishes

 

[raymond35]

Your will is a legal document. The things mentioned above are personal preferences but not enforceable, if, say, any of them are unable to be fulfilled. For example, changes might have to be made due to circumstances. Your will is for the distribution of your assets, ie money in banks, investments, superannuation, and property.

Ok. I am planning a very football-specific place for my ashes, so how do people go about leaving those plans, without anybody seeing them beforehand?

Edit- Just saw Nuggets response, thankyou.

 

[Nugett]

Ok. I am planning a very football-specific place for my ashes, so how do people go about leaving those plans, without anybody seeing them beforehand?

Edit- Just saw Nuggets response, thankyou.

With my mum she has requested that her ashes are scattered with 2 of my sisters dogs, on their favourite beach. Depending on local laws, we will follow through with her wishes. If we can’t legally we will look at other locations.

If you have a safe, you can leave your plans in there in an envelope, or a brief case, or anywhere private. You just have to let people know, that you have the plans stored safely somewhere.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Ok. I am planning a very football-specific place for my ashes, so how do people go about leaving those plans, without anybody seeing them beforehand?

Edit- Just saw Nuggets response, thankyou.

It depends how old you are now. If you’re youngish you probably have lots of specific ideas about music, prayers and other details. You can write them down in a book if you like. But bear in mind, as life goes along, you’ll probably change your mind quite a lot. You won’t actually know if all goes to your plan But don’t dwell on it; your relatives and friends will see you off to the best of their ability.

It would be helpful though to write down your bank account numbers, superannuation company, insurance policy details, so that your next of kin can help finalise your estate more easily. Passport, birth certificate should be easy to find. Keep the paperwork neatly filed, maybe in a filing cabinet. Passwords for your computer need to be stored somewhere. You don’t really have to tell anyone but if they are in your house they’ll be found.

Just remembering the nightmare of going through my FIL’s paperwork; he didn’t tell us anything, except, fortunately, his solicitor’s name and number. Then he got Alzheimers .

We don’t know what lies ahead but there are basic things that can be done, while you still can.

 

[raymond35]

Good advice thanks guys.
I'm not youngish, so you certainly think about these things.
I'll make the instructions nice and simple so that, as Morty Seinfeld would say "even my idiot son could understand it"

 

[King Huskii]

Hoping for some good news

Yes I've received some positive news. It's something that I need to monitor as the tumours appear to be benign. I feel relieved and a big weight off my shoulders.

Cheers mate

 

[leon123]

With my mum she has requested that her ashes are scattered with 2 of my sisters dogs, on their favourite beach. Depending on local laws, we will follow through with her wishes. If we can’t legally we will look at other locations.

If you have a safe, you can leave your plans in there in an envelope, or a brief case, or anywhere private. You just have to let people know, that you have the plans stored safely somewhere.

Same... mum wanted to be with her dogs (buried her ashes with her favorite dog), the rest planted under a tree.

Me personally... dont worry about local laws ya mum is more important

 

[Nugett]

Yes I've received some positive news. It's something that I need to monitor as the tumours appear to be benign. I feel relieved and a big weight off my shoulders.

Cheers mate

That is awesome news. I’m so happy for you.

 

[Nugett]

Same... mum wanted to be with her dogs (buried her ashes with her favorite dog), the rest planted under a tree.

Me personally... dont worry about local laws ya mum is more important

Agree, she is more important. it is something we would do anyway. What other people don’t know won’t hurt them.

I’m just used to dealing with “Karen’s” that like to be offended by everything, so say things that might soften the blow!

 

[Nugett]

I’m currently staying the night with her, she had a very bad day. So I’m expecting to just snooze on and off, it’s going to be a long night. i nearly lost it in front of her today, as she was that bad. Fortunately my sister was able to get me out of there in time, where we had a moment together. we were both able to compose ourselves before going back in to continue our reassurances to her, that she no longer has to fight, it’s alright to let go, that we are going to be alright and that we love her.

At the moment we are trying to hurry up the things she feels the need that she still has to do. Ring people to say goodbye, organise a movie night for her, as she wants us all to watch the Sound of Music (The things you do for love)

waiting for somebody to die is a horrible experience. We have let her know, that she won’t be dying alone as one of us will be there with her.

my sister asked me to stay after she dies to help her go through her things and help her with closure, which I will do. It’s one of the reasons why I only got a one way ticket, as I wasn’t sure how long this would last. If I lose my job because of this so be it, it’s not important. When I do go back, my current feelings are, that I will hand my resignation in anyway. As I do have some other job offers that are currently aware of my current situation.

edit I’m currently having one of her scotches

 

[Ando727]

I remember you from a couple of years ago. Yourself mxett and Ando747 were/are great pioneers of this thread. Along with many others your philosophpies, theories, beliefs and experiences were a real help, along with non judgemental empathy. It’s a real gift that you all have.

Thanks for the kind words, Nugett. This thread has been a real village of contributors - there is just something special about the non-judgemental environment that inhabits it. It's a credit to BF that people have remained respectful and haven't tried to troll it. As a result, it stands at the ready for anyone who's having a tough time to avail themselves of it whenever they need to.

I know you're down in Hobart at the moment dealing with some intense stuff. If you ever need to get out for a bit and have a beer, let me know and I'll come get ya.

 

[Nugett]

My mum died this morning. She put up a good fight. I flew back home on Saturday, as I was doubtful, that she would pass on while I was there, because I don’t think she would have wanted me to go through that. I’m pleased that I was able to spend the last 2 weeks with her, before she died. while the last 2 weeks were hard, having that quality time with her has made it worth it. Now she is no longer in pain, which is a good thing.

 

[Ando727]

My mum died this morning. She put up a good fight. I flew back home on Saturday, as I was doubtful, that she would pass on while I was there, because I don’t think she would have wanted me to go through that. I’m pleased that I was able to spend the last 2 weeks with her, before she died. while the last 2 weeks were hard, having that quality time with her has made it worth it. Now she is no longer in pain, which is a good thing.

My condolences, mate. I'm really pleased for you that you got that time with her though. That's really important for you so that you can move forward without feelings of regret.

 

[Nugett]

My condolences, mate. I'm really pleased for you that you got that time with her though. That's really important for you so that you can move forward without feelings of regret.

Thanks mate

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

My mum died this morning. She put up a good fight. I flew back home on Saturday, as I was doubtful, that she would pass on while I was there, because I don’t think she would have wanted me to go through that. I’m pleased that I was able to spend the last 2 weeks with her, before she died. while the last 2 weeks were hard, having that quality time with her has made it worth it. Now she is no longer in pain, which is a good thing.

Sorry to hear. Remember the good times.

 

[King Huskii]

My mum died this morning. She put up a good fight. I flew back home on Saturday, as I was doubtful, that she would pass on while I was there, because I don’t think she would have wanted me to go through that. I’m pleased that I was able to spend the last 2 weeks with her, before she died. while the last 2 weeks were hard, having that quality time with her has made it worth it. Now she is no longer in pain, which is a good thing.

I hope you have some lovely memories. Take care mate.

 

[Ed_Gein]

My mum died this morning. She put up a good fight. I flew back home on Saturday, as I was doubtful, that she would pass on while I was there, because I don’t think she would have wanted me to go through that. I’m pleased that I was able to spend the last 2 weeks with her, before she died. while the last 2 weeks were hard, having that quality time with her has made it worth it. Now she is no longer in pain, which is a good thing.

Really sorry to hear this mate. Hope you're holding up okay.

 

[Nugett]

Really sorry to hear this mate. Hope you're holding up okay.

Im not too bad, flying down for her funeral next week

 

[Ed_Gein]

Im not too bad, flying down for her funeral next week

Ok, no problem! I'm really bad with words in this sort of stuff, I know it's not an easy situation to be experiencing, but hopefully the service is the best possible one given the circumstances for you and your family.

 

[Nugett]

Ok, no problem! I'm really bad with words in this sort of stuff, I know it's not an easy situation to be experiencing, but hopefully the service is the best possible one given the circumstances for you and your family.

The only issues I’m really having at the moment is work. There really hasn’t been any compassion shown. fortunately, I’ve got another offer from another company, that has shown compassion and I will probably end up there.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Important reminder pro athletes are human as well given the recent news on Tim Membrey

28

Tim Membrey

Age

30

Ht

188cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

12.2

3star

K

8.1

3star

HB

4.1

3star

M

5.8

5star

T

1.5

3star

G

1.8

5star

D

9.4

2star

K

6.5

3star

HB

2.9

2star

M

4.5

4star

T

1.3

2star

G

1.5

5star

D

9.6

3star

K

4.8

2star

HB

4.8

4star

M

3.2

4star

T

1.4

4star

G

0.6

3star

.

 

[Nugett]

At the moment I am struggling. With my mum’s recent death, My workplace has not been pleasant. 2 weeks ago I took a mental health day off. I’m taking another mental health day off today as well.

After my mum died, I took 2 days off for bereavement and I only went in on the third day, as work made sure that I was aware that I was only entitled to 2 days bereavement leave and anything else would be taken off my annual leave or without pay. When I told them I would be travelling down for my mother’s funeral the following week, once again I was informed that I was no longer entitled to bereavement leave and it would be taken as an annual leave day. So I flew down to Tassie on the Thursday, we had the service on the Friday, then I flew back on the Saturday, so I could be back at work on the Monday. On the Wednesday before I flew down, I finally managed to get a week of annual leave changed to personal leave, as I had a doctor’s certificate from one of my trips. Basically I had to inform them, that by not honouring a doctors certificate they are breaking the law.

I get back on the Monday after the funeral, where I’m handed a form, saying that they want the leave loading and Super that they paid me for changing it from annual leave to personal leave returned. So my attitude at work has been mediocre as I don’t want to be there. Where I was told last week that I have been unnecessary angry and I should use the EAP program, which I do agree with, as I am looking at receiving grief counselling, but seeing I’m leaving I do not want to use the company’s program, so looking independently. As I haven’t really been able to properly grieve, as work has increased my stress levels. I went to my doctor 2 weeks ago, as I needed a certificate for the day off, and explained to him what had been going on, he recommended counselling, and to go back and see him, so that he could organise a mental health program, so I don’t have to pay. He also wanted to give me more time off from work, which I stupidly refused. The past 2 weeks has been terrible at work, and I’m not coping. I tried to make another appointment with my doctor today, only to find out that he is leave until the end of the month and the next available appointment isn’t until next Tuesday. So I have made another doctors appointment with another surgery for tomorrow, where once again I will have to explain my current situation. So hopefully I can get a certificate for today, and I’m also hoping for next week as well.

I have a job interview tomorrow, I’m fairly confident I will get it, which means I can close the door, on my current work, that has proven to be quite toxic

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

At the moment I am struggling. With my mum’s recent death, My workplace has not been pleasant. 2 weeks ago I took a mental health day off. I’m taking another mental health day off today as well.

After my mum died, I took 2 days off for bereavement and I only went in on the third day, as work made sure that I was aware that I was only entitled to 2 days bereavement leave and anything else would be taken off my annual leave or without pay. When I told them I would be travelling down for my mother’s funeral the following week, once again I was informed that I was no longer entitled to bereavement leave and it would be taken as an annual leave day. So I flew down to Tassie on the Thursday, we had the service on the Friday, then I flew back on the Saturday, so I could be back at work on the Monday. On the Wednesday before I flew down, I finally managed to get a week of annual leave changed to personal leave, as I had a doctor’s certificate from one of my trips. Basically I had to inform them, that by not honouring a doctors certificate they are breaking the law.

I get back on the Monday after the funeral, where I’m handed a form, saying that they want the leave loading and Super that they paid me for changing it from annual leave to personal leave returned. So my attitude at work has been mediocre as I don’t want to be there. Where I was told last week that I have been unnecessary angry and I should use the EAP program, which I do agree with, as I am looking at receiving grief counselling, but seeing I’m leaving I do not want to use the company’s program, so looking independently. As I haven’t really been able to properly grieve, as work has increased my stress levels. I went to my doctor 2 weeks ago, as I needed a certificate for the day off, and explained to him what had been going on, he recommended counselling, and to go back and see him, so that he could organise a mental health program, so I don’t have to pay. He also wanted to give me more time off from work, which I stupidly refused. The past 2 weeks has been terrible at work, and I’m not coping. I tried to make another appointment with my doctor today, only to find out that he is leave until the end of the month and the next available appointment isn’t until next Tuesday. So I have made another doctors appointment with another surgery for tomorrow, where once again I will have to explain my current situation. So hopefully I can get a certificate for today, and I’m also hoping for next week as well.

I have a job interview tomorrow, I’m fairly confident I will get it, which means I can close the door, on my current work, that has proven to be quite toxic

You've had a tough time. Good luck, hope you get the new job, then you can go forward.

 

[Nugett]

You've had a tough time. Good luck, hope you get the new job, then you can go forward.

Thank you. It’s been really hard, when you’re not being supported by your workplace. I do have other jobs in the pipeline, but currently I will take the first job offered.

 

[mr bagcroft]

At the moment I am struggling. With my mum’s recent death, My workplace has not been pleasant. 2 weeks ago I took a mental health day off. I’m taking another mental health day off today as well.

After my mum died, I took 2 days off for bereavement and I only went in on the third day, as work made sure that I was aware that I was only entitled to 2 days bereavement leave and anything else would be taken off my annual leave or without pay. When I told them I would be travelling down for my mother’s funeral the following week, once again I was informed that I was no longer entitled to bereavement leave and it would be taken as an annual leave day. So I flew down to Tassie on the Thursday, we had the service on the Friday, then I flew back on the Saturday, so I could be back at work on the Monday. On the Wednesday before I flew down, I finally managed to get a week of annual leave changed to personal leave, as I had a doctor’s certificate from one of my trips. Basically I had to inform them, that by not honouring a doctors certificate they are breaking the law.

I get back on the Monday after the funeral, where I’m handed a form, saying that they want the leave loading and Super that they paid me for changing it from annual leave to personal leave returned. So my attitude at work has been mediocre as I don’t want to be there. Where I was told last week that I have been unnecessary angry and I should use the EAP program, which I do agree with, as I am looking at receiving grief counselling, but seeing I’m leaving I do not want to use the company’s program, so looking independently. As I haven’t really been able to properly grieve, as work has increased my stress levels. I went to my doctor 2 weeks ago, as I needed a certificate for the day off, and explained to him what had been going on, he recommended counselling, and to go back and see him, so that he could organise a mental health program, so I don’t have to pay. He also wanted to give me more time off from work, which I stupidly refused. The past 2 weeks has been terrible at work, and I’m not coping. I tried to make another appointment with my doctor today, only to find out that he is leave until the end of the month and the next available appointment isn’t until next Tuesday. So I have made another doctors appointment with another surgery for tomorrow, where once again I will have to explain my current situation. So hopefully I can get a certificate for today, and I’m also hoping for next week as well.

I have a job interview tomorrow, I’m fairly confident I will get it, which means I can close the door, on my current work, that has proven to be quite toxic

Good luck !!!
I really hope you get it, and can then show a clean set of heels to those arse clowns who currently tax you.