Resource Depression/Anxiety the silent killers - everyday is RUOK day. #SpeakUpStayChatTy

[Forever North]

It’s been a devastating past few days. A friend of my 19yr old son from primary school committed suicide last week. His mum died (suddenly) of cancer a few years ago. He was never the same after this. He missed her so much. He has left behind 2 younger siblings and his heartbroken dad. They were such a nice family. I can’t make any sense of it. Life is ****ed sometimes. Everyone please look after yourselves and your loved ones. As a parent it’s the worst of the worst. It’s the sort of stuff that keeps me up at night.

 

[Luke72]

It’s been a devastating past few days. A friend of my 19yr old son from primary school committed suicide last week. His mum died (suddenly) of cancer a few years ago. He was never the same after this. He missed her so much. He has left behind 2 younger siblings and his heartbroken dad. They were such a nice family. I can’t make any sense of it. Life is ****ed sometimes. Everyone please look after yourselves and your loved ones. As a parent it’s the worst of the worst. It’s the sort of stuff that keeps me up at night.

Horrible to hear FN. we had a friend commit suicide when we were all early 20’s, it stays with you.

 

[Ligma]

I’ve been really anxious these past 24 hours which I can’t disclose, but those who are close know.

I know I’ll be fine but I don’t want it to make me look bad to my new team and at such a high level.

Ughhhhh

 

[Luke72]

I’ve been really anxious these past 24 hours which I can’t disclose, but those who are close know.

I know I’ll be fine but I don’t want it to make me look bad to my new team and at such a high level.

Ughhhhh

There would be a coach or someone you could confide in that you trust. Might help to get it off your chest.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

I’ve been really anxious these past 24 hours which I can’t disclose, but those who are close know.

I know I’ll be fine but I don’t want it to make me look bad to my new team and at such a high level.

Ughhhhh

Always happy to chat via pm, even if it is just to vent.

 

[Ligma]

Always happy to chat via pm, even if it is just to vent.

Thanks, everything got sorted got a warning lol but **** it killed me

 

[Ry009]

Been hesitant to post here, as I don't think I've gone through anything near as bad as anyone else has. But hoping commenting will help empty stuff out of the noggin, or even better help someone else in a similar situation.

Combination of family getting some average health diagnosis over the the last few years, as well as moving to jobs with better defined roles but ending on taking on more has finally caught up on me.

The jobs I've moved to have been more and more data focused, but I don't think a job exists in that field where there isn't a high level of stress. It's a shame because I love the type of work but a workplace and role where I will enjoy it don't think exists.

At a stage where I'm constantly exhausted, zest for life is non existent and hard. And constantly things pop up where I feel I want to retreat and be away from the world. Can't remember a day in the last 8 or so years I felt happy for more than a day in a row.

Eating better but just don't have the energy or motivation to do exercise, or extra curricular activities.

Made some changes by deleting all my social media accounts, also jumped out of the whatsapp group of mates from school (a few were actually surprisingly supportive when I told them I needed to unplug and deal with stuff which was great)

Not in a position at the moment where I can massive changes, but gee, feels like I'm a long way off being in a much better place.

Hope everyone else in the thread is on the way up.

 

[Makeshift Park]

Been hesitant to post here, as I don't think I've gone through anything near what anyone else has. But hoping commenting will help empty stuff out of the noggin, or even better help someone else in a similar situation.

Combination of family getting some average health diagnosis over the the last few years, as well as moving to jobs with better defined roles but ending on taking on more has finally caught up on me.

The jobs I've moved to have been more and more data focused, but I don't think a job exists in that field where there isn't a high level of stress. It's a shame because I love the type of work but a workplace and role where I will enjoy it don't think exists.

At a stage where I'm constantly exhausted, zest for life is non existent and hard. And constantly things pop up where I feel I want to retreat and be away from the world. Can't remember a day in the last 8 or so years I felt happy for more than a day in a row.

Eating better but just don't have the energy or motivation to do exercise, or extra curricular activities.

Made some changes by deleting all my social media accounts, also jumped out of the whatsapp group of mates from school (a few were actually surprisingly supportive when I told them I needed to unplug and deal with stuff which was great)

Not in a position at the moment where I can massive changes, but gee, feels like I'm a long way off being in a much better place.

Hope everyone else in the thread is on the way up.

Sorry to hear you’ve been struggling mate.
If you haven’t already, I recommend taking advantage of those ten Medicare subsidised psych appointments you’re entitled to each year. Even as a precaution.
When I was staring into the abyss last year, I found that process quite helpful.
Otherwise, we’re always here if you just need to vent.
Take care mate.

 

[Ry009]

Sorry to hear you’ve been struggling mate.
If you haven’t already, I recommend taking advantage of those ten Medicare subsidised psych appointments you’re entitled to each year. Even as a precaution.
When I was staring into the abyss last year, I found that process quite helpful.
Otherwise, we’re always here if you just need to vent.
Take care mate.

Thanks heaps mate.

Had a few sessions over the years and know what I need to do. Just need to keep chipping away at the small things.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Thanks heaps mate.

Had a few sessions over the years and know what I need to do. Just need to keep chipping away at the small things.

Sorry to be reading this mate. One small step for man and all but if you can manage to get an hour run in per day to clear the head (I know that’s your background) that’d be a start.

All the best with everything.

 

[Ry009]

Sorry to be reading this mate. One small step for man and all but if you can manage to get an hour run in per day to clear the head (I know that’s your background) that’d be a start.

All the best with everything.

Thanks heaps mate. Your sage advice over the years has been very much appreciated and a blessing.

 

[Sillygit]

I'm having a real hard time coping at the moment. Me and my partner have been trying for a kid for almost 2 years now. Nothing doing. So its gotten to the stage where its best to get some tests done to see what the score is. Turns out we both got less than good news from these tests and rather than waiting and thinking about it as people often do, the doc told us we gotta get on to IVF treatment immediately. This has been devastating news for my partner.

Having a kid is a very VERY important life goal for my partner. Im 100% in, and looking forward to being a dad but it doesnt sit with that same level of importance in my life. But it is truly killing me seeing how this is effecting her. She sees herself as a failure from these test results. She's reluctant to talk to anyone about it but me.

Im drawing on some pretty deep reservoirs of resilience and support for her, but days like this morning i feel pretty lost.

Anyways i guess i just needed to vent a bit if that.

 

[Kanga Glory]

I'm having a real hard time coping at the moment. Me and my partner have been trying for a kid for almost 2 years now. Nothing doing. So its gotten to the stage where its best to get some tests done to see what the score is. Turns out we both got less than good news from these tests and rather than waiting and thinking about it as people often do, the doc told us we gotta get on to IVF treatment immediately. This has been devastating news for my partner.

Having a kid is a very VERY important life goal for my partner. Im 100% in, and looking forward to being a dad but it doesnt sit with that same level of importance in my life. But it is truly killing me seeing how this is effecting her. She sees herself as a failure from these test results. She's reluctant to talk to anyone about it but me.

Im drawing on some pretty deep reservoirs of resilience and support for her, but days like this morning i feel pretty lost.

Anyways i guess i just needed to vent a bit if that.

Mate, all you can do is support your partner, life can deal shit cards at times, remember you both need to be happy with descions that affect both. You both will know what the correct decision will be. No one is a failure.

 

[Luke72]

I'm having a real hard time coping at the moment. Me and my partner have been trying for a kid for almost 2 years now. Nothing doing. So its gotten to the stage where its best to get some tests done to see what the score is. Turns out we both got less than good news from these tests and rather than waiting and thinking about it as people often do, the doc told us we gotta get on to IVF treatment immediately. This has been devastating news for my partner.

Having a kid is a very VERY important life goal for my partner. Im 100% in, and looking forward to being a dad but it doesnt sit with that same level of importance in my life. But it is truly killing me seeing how this is effecting her. She sees herself as a failure from these test results. She's reluctant to talk to anyone about it but me.

Im drawing on some pretty deep reservoirs of resilience and support for her, but days like this morning i feel pretty lost.

Anyways i guess i just needed to vent a bit if that.

Same thing happened with my wife and I. She hates needles so we got a portion of the way down the IVF path and stopped. It sounds like a pretty harrowing ordeal to be honest.

While I would have loved to have had kids I’m happy not. I guess the dream is to have a son that will take up the passion for NMFC. We were fortunate to have students live with us and various things , which while I know it’s not the same, does give you some of those experiences, junior sport and stuff, and I have one that is now a very passionate Kangas fan!

Good luck with it all, and enjoy the wanking booths

 

[Sillygit]

Same thing happened with my wife and I. She hates needles so we got a portion of the way down the IVF path and stopped. It sounds like a pretty harrowing ordeal to be honest.

While I would have loved to have had kids I’m happy not. I guess the dream is to have a son that will take up the passion for NMFC. We were fortunate to have students live with us and various things , which while I know it’s not the same, does give you some of those experiences, junior sport and stuff, and I have one that is now a very passionate Kangas fan!

Good luck with it all, and enjoy the wanking booths

holy f*ck! the god damn set up at the clinic for the sperm sample room!

busy corridor room with just ANYONE walking past, chattin goin about their day.

But yea, temporary discomfort for me pales in comparison to what she's going through so i'd take that hit no worries at all.

Mate, all you can do is support your partner, life can deal s**t cards at times, remember you both need to be happy with descions that affect both. You both will know what the correct decision will be. No one is a failure.

yea, that's what i'm trying to double down focus on. Challenge the thoughts appropriately around any failure, make sure she's doing ok, help her out when she's not.

I definitely am on board, but it's hard to watch her go through such a hard time of it.

 

[Kanga Glory]

holy f*ck! the god damn set up at the clinic for the sperm sample room!

busy corridor room with just ANYONE walking past, chattin goin about their day.

But yea, temporary discomfort for me pales in comparison to what she's going through so i'd take that hit no worries at all.


yea, that's what i'm trying to double down focus on. Challenge the thoughts appropriately around any failure, make sure she's doing ok, help her out when she's not.

I definitely am on board, but it's hard to watch her go through such a hard time of it.

Stay strong, always reach out mate,

 

[Luke72]

holy f*ck! the god damn set up at the clinic for the sperm sample room!

busy corridor room with just ANYONE walking past, chattin goin about their day.

But yea, temporary discomfort for me pales in comparison to what she's going through so i'd take that hit no worries at all.

The place on Grattan st?? Yeah the outside hustle is off-putting but their collection of literature is pretty good.

 

[Luke72]

One on Victoria St has no room, I had to whack off in the work van which was not a pleasant experience.

 

[LuvtheKangas]

One on Victoria St has no room, I had to whack off in the work van which was not a pleasant experience.

Doesn't sound that bad to me.

 

[Wristo_]

One on Victoria St has no room, I had to whack off in the work van which was not a pleasant experience.

You like whacking off in vans too?

 

[rickety]

When I met my best little mates mum we took a glance towards the IVF route. Can't recall why now, but anyway, my sample we did at home then raced into Hawthorn ish iirc. Said to her at sample time "gonna give me a hand?" I got a look that suggested otherwise. Felt a little funny handing over a jar of goo. Is there a "goo glance" you do to other jar laden fellas? Lol. Was actually a funny period of time tbh. Thankfully we ended up not needing the IVF and here we are today. That said. if anyone wants to try out a kid to see if one is suitable, I'll happily pay $50 a day for you to take him :-D

All you can do is be supportive, and usually that feels both inadequate and exasperating. There is no right and wrong, there is just the best you can do. Good luck

 

[rickety]

You like whacking off in vans too?

A lot more socially acceptable than in the train

 

[Wristo_]

A lot more socially acceptable than in the train

 

[rickety]

View attachment 1695035

A long long time ago, in a rattly old red or blue train carriage, had a different bloke been so joyfully restless, we might not've had to endure Caro

 

[Twinkletoes]

View attachment 1695035

Geez Dimma must have been told to leave the company car at Punt Rd.

All the best to you and the missus Sillygit. Recently a Northern Irish couple who lived in Melbs for a few years until 2008 returned to Oz for a visit. They left as a couple in turmoil for the very same reason you’re facing. They last revisited us in 2011 when they met our baby daughter.

Anyway, on their recent visit, having undergone mountains of IVF treatment since, they returned with their 4 ripping young kids. I remember getting so many late night messages from the missus (who worked with my other half) saying they couldn’t do this any longer, followed by “we’ll give it one more chance” weeks later, and here they are.

It’s not how you’d have wished life to go but it CAN be worth it in the end mate.

All the very best in whatever lies ahead.