Don’t ask who knocked up who? It’s rather confusing….View attachment 1867448
Seeing as the Old Boys are once again the talk of the SFA, adorned by most with a growing list that rivals the 87/88 Lakers, it was only fair that we allow the league a small window into what it’s like to be in company of the elite.
Therefore, I am happy to present an upcoming series that will endeavour to show you the highs, lows and everything in between.
Episode 1 - Off-season Furore
I will have to get you over to the Maximus Turbous Bath House next time we have a wet and wild weekender at SpotswoodA few surprising figures under those qooty jerseys ...
Ohhhh the Maximus Bath House memoriesI will have to get you over to the Maximus Turbous Bath House next time we have a wet and wild weekender at Spotswood
It's no secret that several children were conceived in Turbo's hot tub, which is amazing considering it has never been cleaned.Don’t ask who knocked up who? It’s rather confusing….
See! This is why I’m here? Is this today or next season….I will have to get you over to the Maximus Turbous Bath House next time we have a wet and wild weekender at Spotswood
It was a Sunday night. Round whatever of Qooty had just finished. The OOB LG sat around in the Cigar Lounge, inspired by the season that had been, but lamenting what could have been without Penalty Gate. They really fumbler the ball on that one.
#CUPTOSPOON they had proudly proclaimed. But deep down, they knew. Their fellow Qootballers and ‘comrades’ on this journey were having a laugh. Falling as far on the SFA ladder as one could fall. How could a club so revered, so elite, be sitting here at the end of season below teams like the Hawks, Demons and Furies?! This felt like a fate worse than having Moz rebrand his name and character, or even glancing at any of serial_turds 500 Questions.
Enough was enough.
Tigerturbulance would see to it that this would not happen again, and so he marched up to the Spotswood library, dusted the cover off a book he swore to only open in case of emergencies. The hallowed book, created by Turbo's great great great grandfather, The TapirTempestuous
Days flew by. Mrs Turbo saw to it that meals were provided as Turbo immersed himself in ‘The Book’, determined to find the answers. After what felt like an eternity later, Turbo emerged, with his typical sly grin and a new plan afoot. Ned_Flanders and Robertio were holding down the fort, with BRAB being the gatekeeper from the ever present paparazzi, determined to get a quote or two to paraphrase and misprint in order to sell to the masses.
Turbo left no stone unturned, would not take no for an answer, and searched the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, ensuring playersformerly retiredpast and present knew not of just their own value but the value they could bring to Spotswood. This included players committing, then turning Turbo away, then coming crawling back, only for the list to be full. Not only was #CupSpoonCup was almost a certainty if he could life this list back to its former glory and the heights that only come with being an Ophidian. Nothing comes close, he of course knew this, but its getting the fire in the bellies of the team each and every time they run out on the Qooty field, that itself, was the destiny that was theirs to go and take.
DemurePrincess: Oi, who do you think you are you bumbling piece of-
Oh hey. Sup?
Turbo: Hey DP. Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.
DP: Well you dragged me out to this shady place, I thought something…else was going down.
Turbo: …
DP: …?
Turbo: Anyway. Let’s cut to this chase. We need you. You need us. We’re great, you’re great. Give me two good reasons why you shouldn’t move clubs right now.
DP: I was actually thinking of joining the Bom-
Turbo: HAHAHA
DP: Uh, what?
Turbo: The Bombers are the OOB from Wish. Why have the cheap version when you can come to glorious Spotswood?
DP: Err if you say so. I suppose I do enjoy kenneyswarriors a bit.
Turbo: Good enough for me, sign here.
and on…
View attachment 1868809
[transcriptsaved for dragoons match threadredacted]
and on…
View attachment 1868810
Turbo: Fancy seeing you here, melon!
Wiz: Still finished above you, old boy. Why are you here?
Turbo: I'm here turning my 8 pack into a 10 pack, obviously. Why are you here?
Wiz: Just soaking up the rays thanks to my severance payout. Shedding myphoenixrookie skin, so to speak.
Turbo: Surely you know you retired prematurely and still have legs in you?
Wiz: Maybe. But expansion? shudder that’s like a poor man’s rebrand.
Turbo: I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse! A list spot.
Wiz: ...and?
Turbo: One time use of my supplements cupboard?
Wiz: Deal. Cracking businessman you are.
Player after player signed on. This is not even a complete list, but only so much can fit in one episode. The applications were flying in and Turbo had to hire a second assistant to sort through the paperwork and make all the unfortunate phone calls.
Weeks after this journey began, Turbo sat by the fireplace, drink in hand, smiling. The festive season was upon us, and boy did the OOB’s have reason to celebrate. Early bird gets the worm? Well, the early recruiter gets the best players. Imagine beingThe Roysany other team trying to recruit over Christmas or even into the new year? What a preposterously slow plan.
View attachment 1868811
As Harvey Manfrenjensenden would say some days earlier, a premonition if ever I heard one:
It is finished.
Episode 2 – Rookie Fever? Or Risen again?
Enjoy your festive season, SFA. See you for Ep 2 in the new year
POTY ^ sent shivers down my spine at the thought. This thread could be TOTY, I'm a sucker for tigerturbo content.
Jeez you've done some unauthorised renos!Ohhhh the Maximus Bath House memories
Frederico_WA - let me share with you it all starts out friendly; and then it gets even more friendly
You'll most likely be 'up the duff' like our Braklet in the picture
You guys' secrets are safe with me.
Ophidian Old Boys
