Injury Mental Health Discussion - Support Your Fellow Pies

[Anzacday]

Some of us are doing it tough and could do with a little guidance or support.
Any personal criticism/ridicule will be heavily sanctioned.

 

[Deleted member 133504]

Not sure if it's the best place to post this, but do we have a mental health and daily check in thread? Or, is anyone interested in doing a Collingwood supporters discord server?

Second question, how does anyone deal with being an absolute lunatic when the footy is on? I find my emotions just losing control watching games, whether at home, on the phone, television, or live at the ground, and I absolutely MELT. Before I followed the Pies regularly, so pre-10 years of age, I was never like this.

Perhaps it's a hedonistic mindset? So, I say I want the Pies to win, then I say, I want them to win the next few games, then in the background I'm hoping they make finals, then hope they win the flag, but then I want them to go back-to-back. This doesn't feel healthy, and I don't want my daughter to confuse this hedonism for passion for footy. That said, I don't think my mental health allows me to correct this, unless I completely ignore football. Even then, deleting apps, not visiting websites, I am still lurking somewhere, running hypotheticals in my head.

It's often a make or break situation with the Pies. If they win on the weekend, I can conquer anything. They lose? It's devastation. So...

Happy for any feedback, constructive or enabling

 

[manicpie]

Not sure if it's the best place to post this, but do we have a mental health and daily check in thread? Or, is anyone interested in doing a Collingwood supporters discord server?

Second question, how does anyone deal with being an absolute lunatic when the footy is on? I find my emotions just losing control watching games, whether at home, on the phone, television, or live at the ground, and I absolutely MELT. Before I followed the Pies regularly, so pre-10 years of age, I was never like this.

Perhaps it's a hedonistic mindset? So, I say I want the Pies to win, then I say, I want them to win the next few games, then in the background I'm hoping they make finals, then hope they win the flag, but then I want them to go back-to-back. This doesn't feel healthy, and I don't want my daughter to confuse this hedonism for passion for footy. That said, I don't think my mental health allows me to correct this, unless I completely ignore football. Even then, deleting apps, not visiting websites, I am still lurking somewhere, running hypotheticals in my head.

It's often a make or break situation with the Pies. If they win on the weekend, I can conquer anything. They lose? It's devastation. So...

Happy for any feedback, constructive or enabling

That's very interesting and something I can relate to for most of my life. The last few years I've been able to rid myself of the devastation of losing. At the end of the day it's just a game. I love the game day thread and always try and keep a level head. I don't lose it anymore because the last 3 years with Fly has transformed our club. What we've experienced in those 3 years is nothing short of incredible and I just can't get passed that. I knew from the second quarter against norf that we were still going to come back and probably win. The biggest hurdle is worrying about what other clubs and supporters think of us but put that aside and it gets easier

 

[JuniorB]

Not sure if it's the best place to post this, but do we have a mental health and daily check in thread? Or, is anyone interested in doing a Collingwood supporters discord server?

Second question, how does anyone deal with being an absolute lunatic when the footy is on? I find my emotions just losing control watching games, whether at home, on the phone, television, or live at the ground, and I absolutely MELT. Before I followed the Pies regularly, so pre-10 years of age, I was never like this.

Perhaps it's a hedonistic mindset? So, I say I want the Pies to win, then I say, I want them to win the next few games, then in the background I'm hoping they make finals, then hope they win the flag, but then I want them to go back-to-back. This doesn't feel healthy, and I don't want my daughter to confuse this hedonism for passion for footy. That said, I don't think my mental health allows me to correct this, unless I completely ignore football. Even then, deleting apps, not visiting websites, I am still lurking somewhere, running hypotheticals in my head.

It's often a make or break situation with the Pies. If they win on the weekend, I can conquer anything. They lose? It's devastation. So...

Happy for any feedback, constructive or enabling

We invest so much emotionally into our team, so it's little wonder we can get caught up with what's happening.
All of us on BF are much the same to a greater or lesser extent, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
My 10 year old son is learning to deal with it, but we never really stop learning to handle the highs and lows.
We share the passion for our team.
If we lose, I'm pissed off and upset, and it takes me a while to cool down and move on to the next game, season, whatever.
I don't think what you experience is in any way abnormal - we just need to learn to tone down our emotions so we have a bit of control over them.

 

[Deleted member 133504]

We invest so much emotionally into our team, so it's little wonder we can get caught up what's happening.
All of us on BF are much the same to a greater or lesser extent, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
My 10 year old son is learning to deal with it, but we never really stop learning to handle the highs and lows.
We share the passion for our team.
If we lose, I'm pissed off and upset, and it takes me a while to cool down and move on to the next game, season, whatever.
I don't think what you experience is in any way abnormal - we just need to learn to tone down our emotions so we have a bit of control over them.

Thanks, JB. From 10 year old self to you and your son, make sure your son focusses on his Maths, instead of remembering Grand Final scores, from a book he gets for christmas!

 

[jmac70]

Not sure if it's the best place to post this, but do we have a mental health and daily check in thread? Or, is anyone interested in doing a Collingwood supporters discord server?

Second question, how does anyone deal with being an absolute lunatic when the footy is on? I find my emotions just losing control watching games, whether at home, on the phone, television, or live at the ground, and I absolutely MELT. Before I followed the Pies regularly, so pre-10 years of age, I was never like this.

Perhaps it's a hedonistic mindset? So, I say I want the Pies to win, then I say, I want them to win the next few games, then in the background I'm hoping they make finals, then hope they win the flag, but then I want them to go back-to-back. This doesn't feel healthy, and I don't want my daughter to confuse this hedonism for passion for footy. That said, I don't think my mental health allows me to correct this, unless I completely ignore football. Even then, deleting apps, not visiting websites, I am still lurking somewhere, running hypotheticals in my head.

It's often a make or break situation with the Pies. If they win on the weekend, I can conquer anything. They lose? It's devastation. So...

Happy for any feedback, constructive or enabling

For me personally, when I became a dad, I realised that footy is not really that important.

 

[Deleted member 133504]

For me personally, when I became a dad, I realised that footy is not really that important.

Thanks for the feedback. Don't hold it against me if I say it wasn't really resonating. I think it just highlights what I have always felt about you: that you are one of the wiser heads around here. I reckon your kid is lucky to have you.

 

[Vicky Park]

Not sure if it's the best place to post this, but do we have a mental health and daily check in thread? Or, is anyone interested in doing a Collingwood supporters discord server?

Second question, how does anyone deal with being an absolute lunatic when the footy is on? I find my emotions just losing control watching games, whether at home, on the phone, television, or live at the ground, and I absolutely MELT. Before I followed the Pies regularly, so pre-10 years of age, I was never like this.

Perhaps it's a hedonistic mindset? So, I say I want the Pies to win, then I say, I want them to win the next few games, then in the background I'm hoping they make finals, then hope they win the flag, but then I want them to go back-to-back. This doesn't feel healthy, and I don't want my daughter to confuse this hedonism for passion for footy. That said, I don't think my mental health allows me to correct this, unless I completely ignore football. Even then, deleting apps, not visiting websites, I am still lurking somewhere, running hypotheticals in my head.

It's often a make or break situation with the Pies. If they win on the weekend, I can conquer anything. They lose? It's devastation. So...

Happy for any feedback, constructive or enabling

You could start a mental health thread on the Magpies Nest page. It might be a good place for you to go to let off steam in a healthy way.

My emotional state is never well balanced during games, and I have a tendency to run away from the game, and return later when I’ve calmed down. If you saw me, you’d think butter wouldn’t melt ha ha! But in my journeys I’ve seen parts of the MCG that others don’t know exist…

BTW I enjoy your posts. You are a passionate and articulate supporter. I read about you recently getting kicked out of a game? If that was down to your emotions getting the better of you, then maybe a safe place to vent and get it under control would work for you.

Also, loving the Pies is nothing to be ashamed of, but I try to restrict my madness to the day of the game only. And come up smiling the next day, before anxiety about the next game kicks in.

Good luck with it.

 

[Vicky Park]

Some of us are doing it tough and could do with a little guidance or support.

Thanks AD for creating this thread.

We had one of these years ago in the Nest, but it dropped off. Also many of the contributors are no longer on BF, so a new thread is a good start.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hi

I’m WBW

Maybe I have a problem with how much I hate Carlton

Whenever they play in Sydney, I go to the game to hopefully watch them lose (will go to the GWS game to do this)

It makes me so happy seeing their fans miserable

(I take more joy when Collingwood wins, so I am not a complete psychopath)

I don’t like the Swans but I’m glad they are strong so they could defeat Carlton in a GF if needed

It is true, I would barrack for Satan against Carlton

My family think my anti-Carltin jokes are messing-around. Well, not one sister. She thinks I am channeling our mother from the grave, with less swearing and less frothing

Anyway, good luck with your pathologies and f*ck Carlton

 

[JuniorB]

Well done AD for following up on Vicky's suggestion.
I don't pretend to be a mental health expert, but sharing our experiences can be helpful in not feeling alone.
It's a shame we didn't have this for TGG.

 

[Deleted member 133504]

Anzacday hooley dooley, since I inspired a thread! Thanks so much. This helps me feel heard today!

We invest so much emotionally into our team, so it's little wonder we can get caught up with what's happening.
All of us on BF are much the same to a greater or lesser extent, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
My 10 year old son is learning to deal with it, but we never really stop learning to handle the highs and lows.
We share the passion for our team.
If we lose, I'm pissed off and upset, and it takes me a while to cool down and move on to the next game, season, whatever.
I don't think what you experience is in any way abnormal - we just need to learn to tone down our emotions so we have a bit of control over them.

Your last point resonates, JB. My missus will be the first to say I am ready to burn it all down, give it all away, then take a few days and we are ready to go again. I never had a male role model to help me model my emotions, let alone watch football with. The grandfather just used to turn his hearing aids down. Still does

I feel like, in some way, your 10 year old son when I say this: immediately tell me it’ll be okay. Have a chat about permutations. Don’t say it’s only a game, but at the same time, tell me it’s not my fault

You could start a mental health thread on the Magpies Nest page. It might be a good place for you to go to let off steam in a healthy way.

My emotional state is never well balanced during games, and I have a tendency to run away from the game, and return later when I’ve calmed down. If you saw me, you’d think butter wouldn’t melt ha ha! But in my journeys I’ve seen parts of the MCG that others don’t know exist…

BTW I enjoy your posts. You are a passionate and articulate supporter. I read about you recently getting kicked out of a game? If that was down to your emotions getting the better of you, then maybe a safe place to vent and get it under control would work for you.

Also, loving the Pies is nothing to be ashamed of, but I try to restrict my madness to the day of the game only. And come up smiling the next day, before anxiety about the next game kicks in.

Good luck with it.

Hey VP. Nah, the kicking out part was when I was getting abused by some north fans, who were starting to make comments about my three year old daughter in front of my missus. Getting really close to us while I was holding her. There is more to the post in the post match thread. I tend to attract attention unintentionally, so I rarely go outside dressed in gear, let alone attend games. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with football, but, given I have so much time off now, I can feel the excitement again.

I’ve always enjoyed your posts too, VP. I’d like to imagine you as the aunt I always wanted. The absolute lunatic on game day, but when it all settles down, the supportive and wise person to push people in the right direction. I’ll keep in mind I’m not the only one needing to walk to calm down. I usually just pretend the game isn’t on for a while, and turn off the phone

Hi

I’m WBW

Maybe I have a problem with how much I hate Carlton

Whenever they play in Sydney, I go to the game to hopefully watch them lose (will go to the GWS game to do this)

It makes me so happy seeing their fans miserable

(I take more joy when Collingwood wins, so I am not a complete psychopath)

I don’t like the Swans but I’m glad they are strong so they could defeat Carlton in a GF if needed

It is true, I would barrack for Satan against Carlton

My family think my anti-Carltin jokes are messing-around. Well, not one sister. She thinks I am channeling our mother from the grave, with less swearing and less frothing

Anyway, good luck with your pathologies and f*ck Carlton

Hey WBW. Can’t deny the hatred for Carlton. However, my hate is losing to them when they are sh!t, versus a lot of the veterans around here remember the 70s - mid 90s period, when the blues paid for premierships and rorted the salary cap. It’s what the big clubs do in the EPL and European leagues, buying up the big players, but doesn’t guarantee success. Even Collingwood has won more flags than them since 1995

The Sydney situation is interesting. When I first started watching the pies, we hadn’t beaten them since what, 1995? Seems crazy, because we only lost to them thrice in the period 2002-2011. So they took away Stadium Australia and shifted games to their narrow alley of a rugby oval, in order to gain an advantage against us. But then there is COLA, and Adam Goodes, and now Tom Papley and that Prelim, so the hatred is building.

At least you have the weekly post about us winning by 64 points, no matter the scenario. Love your positivity!

New development with my health. I’ve started Duloxetine, which is an SNRI. I’ve tried a few others. The other one just made me rage, and some problems with the missus and finances short circuited the other one. Really hoping I can just wake up in the morning with enough energy to do stuff. Maybe even get moving again. I’ll have to get a job between now and going back to uni in January, but the missus wants me to rest, as I’ve burned myself out with the intensive study for pharmacy and exams. It’s only first year, too. But, should be able to accelerate to third year, my high marks pending.

Anyway, dear diary over. Hope we win on Saturday arvo!

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hi

I’m WBW

Maybe I have a problem with how much I hate Carlton

Whenever they play in Sydney, I go to the game to hopefully watch them lose (will go to the GWS game to do this)

It makes me so happy seeing their fans miserable

(I take more joy when Collingwood wins, so I am not a complete psychopath)

I don’t like the Swans but I’m glad they are strong so they could defeat Carlton in a GF if needed

It is true, I would barrack for Satan against Carlton

My family think my anti-Carltin jokes are messing-around. Well, not one sister. She thinks I am channeling our mother from the grave, with less swearing and less frothing

Anyway, good luck with your pathologies and f*ck Carlton

This was a legit typo

I can't even spell their dumb-ar$ed name

 

[Deleted member 133504]

This was a legit typo

I can't even spell their dumb-ar$ed name

Not good for your mental health even thinking about the name, let alone spelling it

 

[JuniorB]

Anzacday hooley dooley, since I inspired a thread! Thanks so much. This helps me feel heard today!



Your last point resonates, JB. My missus will be the first to say I am ready to burn it all down, give it all away, then take a few days and we are ready to go again. I never had a male role model to help me model my emotions, let alone watch football with. The grandfather just used to turn his hearing aids down. Still does

I feel like, in some way, your 10 year old son when I say this: immediately tell me it’ll be okay. Have a chat about permutations. Don’t say it’s only a game, but at the same time, tell me it’s not my fault



Hey VP. Nah, the kicking out part was when I was getting abused by some north fans, who were starting to make comments about my three year old daughter in front of my missus. Getting really close to us while I was holding her. There is more to the post in the post match thread. I tend to attract attention unintentionally, so I rarely go outside dressed in gear, let alone attend games. I wouldn’t say I’m obsessed with football, but, given I have so much time off now, I can feel the excitement again.

I’ve always enjoyed your posts too, VP. I’d like to imagine you as the aunt I always wanted. The absolute lunatic on game day, but when it all settles down, the supportive and wise person to push people in the right direction. I’ll keep in mind I’m not the only one needing to walk to calm down. I usually just pretend the game isn’t on for a while, and turn off the phone



Hey WBW. Can’t deny the hatred for Carlton. However, my hate is losing to them when they are sh!t, versus a lot of the veterans around here remember the 70s - mid 90s period, when the blues paid for premierships and rorted the salary cap. It’s what the big clubs do in the EPL and European leagues, buying up the big players, but doesn’t guarantee success. Even Collingwood has won more flags than them since 1995

The Sydney situation is interesting. When I first started watching the pies, we hadn’t beaten them since what, 1995? Seems crazy, because we only lost to them thrice in the period 2002-2011. So they took away Stadium Australia and shifted games to their narrow alley of a rugby oval, in order to gain an advantage against us. But then there is COLA, and Adam Goodes, and now Tom Papley and that Prelim, so the hatred is building.

At least you have the weekly post about us winning by 64 points, no matter the scenario. Love your positivity!

New development with my health. I’ve started Duloxetine, which is an SNRI. I’ve tried a few others. The other one just made me rage, and some problems with the missus and finances short circuited the other one. Really hoping I can just wake up in the morning with enough energy to do stuff. Maybe even get moving again. I’ll have to get a job between now and going back to uni in January, but the missus wants me to rest, as I’ve burned myself out with the intensive study for pharmacy and exams. It’s only first year, too. But, should be able to accelerate to third year, my high marks pending.

Anyway, dear diary over. Hope we win on Saturday arvo!

My son plays basketball, and one day he was really angry after a game and wouldn't talk.
After we got home he was still fuming and lying on the couch.
When I eventually got him to speak, he said a player on the other team kept pushing and poking him, and that's why he was angry.
I said to him that the player was trying to put him off his game, and that it worked.
Then I said "Do you want him to ruin your whole day as well? Because that's what he's doing.".
He perked up after that.

I guess the point is that it's good to have help in learning to deal with things.
You mention that you didn't have a male role model growing up.
I'm trying to be that for my son - not perfect, but always conscious of the influence I have on him, and trying to get better.

 

[Gone Critical]

Hi

I’m WBW

Maybe I have a problem with how much I hate Carlton

Whenever they play in Sydney, I go to the game to hopefully watch them lose (will go to the GWS game to do this)

It makes me so happy seeing their fans miserable

(I take more joy when Collingwood wins, so I am not a complete psychopath)

I don’t like the Swans but I’m glad they are strong so they could defeat Carlton in a GF if needed

It is true, I would barrack for Satan against Carlton

My family think my anti-Carltin jokes are messing-around. Well, not one sister. She thinks I am channeling our mother from the grave, with less swearing and less frothing

Anyway, good luck with your pathologies and f*ck Carlton

For a minute I was going to propose you have a nice balance in the Carlton hatred. The Goldilocks effect if you like.

Then I thought who am I kidding, like the universe extending forever, no one has yet reached enough Carlton hate. Keep trying and vying.

 

[Deleted member 133504]

My son plays basketball, and one day he was really angry after a game and wouldn't talk.
After we got home he was still fuming and lying on the couch.
When I eventually got him to speak, he said a player on the other team kept pushing and poking him, and that's why he was angry.
I said to him that the player was trying to put him off his game, and that it worked.
Then I said "Do you want him to ruin your whole day as well? Because that's what he's doing.".
He perked up after that.

I guess the point is that it's good to have help in learning to deal with things.
You mention that you didn't have a male role model growing up.
I'm trying to be that for my son - not perfect, but always conscious of the influence I have on him, and trying to get better.

Absolutely brilliant! See, it wasn't demeaning or condescending, but a male role model appealing to a young bloke's emotions. Can you adopt me, please?

I don't think any of us is perfect. Often times with our daughter, my Missus and myself often feel a lot of guilt, a lot of gut wrenching nostalgia for our childhood, and we miss her when she goes to bed. We wonder if she is being cared for the best way we can. A piece of advice that resonated was "doing enough is good enough." Seems like a cop out, but I think it depends on your definition of "good".

Who is there for you when things go down hill? I feel like we all revert to our childhood self when things go badly. Collingwood losing, especially

 

[JuniorB]

Absolutely brilliant! See, it wasn't demeaning or condescending, but a male role model appealing to a young bloke's emotions. Can you adopt me, please?

I don't think any of us is perfect. Often times with our daughter, my Missus and myself often feel a lot of guilt, a lot of gut wrenching nostalgia for our childhood, and we miss her when she goes to bed. We wonder if she is being cared for the best way we can. A piece of advice that resonated was "doing enough is good enough." Seems like a cop out, but I think it depends on your definition of "good".

Who is there for you when things go down hill? I feel like we all revert to our childhood self when things go badly. Collingwood losing, especially

Being a parent is a case of learning on the job - aspiring to be the best you can be for your kids.

 

[Tadpole]

Being a parent is a case of learning on the job - aspiring to be the best you can be for your kids.

You said it. It's an ever changing beast of a job though. My daughter's just turned 10, and raising her is a totally different proposition to what it was even 3 or 4 years ago. The teen years will be something else again. I don't know enough about this parenting gig to say one stage is definitely harder than another - it's all hard, just in different ways at different times. Being imperfect beings ourselves, with imperfect upbringings of our own, it's a challenge for sure to try and figure out how to raise your kid(s) to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. This is why it's so important to live by the "it takes a village" thing. If you're struggling in some way, if you're fortunate, you'll find someone within your circle (whether in real life or online) who's "been there, done that" who will be willing and able to help you through until the next challenge comes along.

 

[magpie_marty]

Only came across this thread today my thoughts to all go out there regarding everyone's struggles
My mother has suffered dementia since my father passed in 2021 so many hospital time due to depression etc,
8 weeks ago she had a fall and fractured her ankle,thankfully she's back home but her short term memory is getting worse and worse.
What makes it really sad is telling her something she thinks is true and saying "Hey Mum" that's wrong.
And I get this stare your lying to me son!
Spam callers don't help as she actually believes them.
Anyways go pies be safe.
Marty

 

[leon123]

Only came across this thread today my thoughts to all go out there regarding everyone's struggles
My mother has suffered dementia since my father passed in 2021 so many hospital time due to depression etc,
8 weeks ago she had a fall and fractured her ankle,thankfully she's back home but her short term memory is getting worse and worse.
What makes it really sad is telling her something she thinks is true and saying "Hey Mum" that's wrong.
And I get this stare your lying to me son!
Spam callers don't help as she actually believes them.
Anyways go pies be safe.
Marty

Hey Marty, I sympathise, similar story but maybe a little more advanced in terms of the cognitive decline status.

Its not easy and I dont think clear pathways, but you will find ways to manage the challenges,

Argghh the spam callers, the amount of solar panels, shower heads, roof painters etc dad purchased.... new and silent number is the answer

take care... not easy or fun

 

[magpie_marty]

Hey Marty, I sympathise, similar story but maybe a little more advanced in terms of the cognitive decline status.

Its not easy and I dont think clear pathways, but you will find ways to manage the challenges,

Argghh the spam callers, the amount of solar panels, shower heads, roof painters etc dad purchased.... new and silent number is the answer

take care... not easy or fun

Yeah Leon its like stepping on eggs at this stage dammed if I do dammed if I don't
Mum has this other idea that she owes money on her house and real estate people just hound people close bye if they think they can grab a sale.

 

[leon123]

Yeah Leon its like stepping on eggs at this stage dammed if I do dammed if I don't
Mum has this other idea that she owes money on her house and real estate people just hound people close bye if they think they can grab a sale.

The vultures will come out Marty.

What worked for me was being financial and medical power of attorney, formal diagnosis therefore reducing (if not eliminating) enforcement of contracts signed i.e. no mental capacity, redirected mail and live feed security cameras (dad iis over 100km away).

Found that there is no point with logic/reasoning/debating - in the end I just smile/laugh/redirect to silly stories of years gone by

 

[magpie_marty]

The vultures will come out Marty.

What worked for me was being financial and medical power of attorney, formal diagnosis therefore reducing (if not eliminating) enforcement of contracts signed i.e. no mental capacity, redirected mail and live feed security cameras (dad iis over 100km away).

Found that there is no point with logic/reasoning/debating - in the end I just smile/laugh/redirect to silly stories of years gone by

We staggered the POA my mums sister has full POA,
My sister and me are secondary if that makes sense.
Every Real Estate that contacts gets told to remove us from there list.
Your last point is brilliant I play music from the 50's and 60's and mum knows all the words and sings along.

We also have Australia Unity come in an hour mon-friday they help with cleaning and shopping,
Part of her plan as she is level 4

 

[Anzacday]

Found that there is no point with logic/reasoning/debating - in the end I just smile/laugh/redirect to silly stories of years gone by

Yes and the other advice was just to go along with it and then change topic.
PS: That’s hearsay btw.