Resource Mental Health

[Dramoth]

My pshrink today saw my ADHD in full flight during our EMDR therapy session. It has been playing up worse than ever of late.

The research on the effects of ADHD on PTSD says that if you have ADHD you’re 4 times more likely to get PTSD if you are exposed to traumatic events. And the effects of the PTSD are going to be worse as well. My pshrink noted that I was especially easily distracted today and she also noticed my habit of stopping breathing for periods of time. It’s annoying at time. I would have loved to have grown up normalish.

 

[Coona Blues]

My pshrink today saw my ADHD in full flight during our EMDR therapy session. It has been playing up worse than ever of late.

The research on the effects of ADHD on PTSD says that if you have ADHD you’re 4 times more likely to get PTSD if you are exposed to traumatic events. And the effects of the PTSD are going to be worse as well. My pshrink noted that I was especially easily distracted today and she also noticed my habit of stopping breathing for periods of time. It’s annoying at time. I would have loved to have grown up normalish.

Many of us have quirks and foibles that cause us to not be normal(ish) mate. Clearly some have it worse than others. Try hard not to focus on what you deem as negative and embrace yourself as a whole. You have outlined plenty of challenges which evoke empathy.

I think it is a positive that your treating professional has seen you “warts and all”. It is so hard for many of us to convey our issues to these practitioners and we can spend a lifetime trying to convey a point that is never really understood. Great that you are able to be “vulnerable” enough to convey your issues and concerns to this group of faceless keyboard warriors too. While I reckon from time to time I bore most with anecdotes of my physical challenges, it is 100% positive to air them, even just to write them down is therapeutic.

None of us are “normal” my friend, even those of us who seem to be. Keep dealing mate and absolutely feel free to share. Have a great holiday period.

 

[myblueroan]

My pshrink today saw my ADHD in full flight during our EMDR therapy session. It has been playing up worse than ever of late.

The research on the effects of ADHD on PTSD says that if you have ADHD you’re 4 times more likely to get PTSD if you are exposed to traumatic events. And the effects of the PTSD are going to be worse as well. My pshrink noted that I was especially easily distracted today and she also noticed my habit of stopping breathing for periods of time. It’s annoying at time. I would have loved to have grown up normalish.

So glad you are in therapy Dram.
Very courageous to be vulnerable and exposed with others.
Trauma embeds deeply.
It's more lessening it's effects over time, that frees us to live well - than any outright cure.

And then, if we are triggered, being able to have that bit of space that allows awareness between event and us in real time:
(whoah..this is triggering me - how can I look after myself in this moment)

I applaud you for showing up to therapy and taking charge of your life. And after all- it is your life.
Not your mother's or anyone else's who try to claim it for their own ends.

 

[Wickzki]

Hi all


This will likely be my last post on BigFooty.


I wanted to make that clear before I sign off permanently and share my final story.


The last six years have been one of the most difficult journeys of my entire life.


From undergoing life saving, emergency, spinal surgery a couple of days after my 39th birthday in January of 2029, not receiving the minimum standard of care throughout the first two years of rehabilitation, through to then undergoing months of inpatient treatment at the spinal unit of the hospital to then being diagnosed with terminal issues a couple of short months later.


Somehow, through doing everything that the specialists told me to do as well as pursuing my own wellness pursuits I “miraculously” reversed the conditions that the medical leaders in this country gave me 12 to 18 months to live.


I then fought through periods of exceedingly high blood pressure (seeing my BP at over 220 watching Carlton games was normal among other activities) and eventual legal blindness that still hasn't improved to a great level after two very significant surgeries.


If that wasn't enough in maybe August / September I began suffering seizures. I'd be sitting in the lounge room just relaxing with my family and either our son would do something funny or I'd play a practical joke and start belly laughing. The laugh would then stop mid laugh and the next thing I would know is that my partner would be standing in front of me extremely concerned for my well being.


I had a seizure attending the dog park a month or so ago. I fell onto my arm. Although it isn't broken it hasn't been the same since. I may have torn muscles or any number of things. I don't have full range of motion in it the way that I did immediately before the injury.d


This prompted a doctor's visit who recommended an MRI of the brain. When I was living and working in pro basketball in the US in the mid-2000s I suffered a small stroke in my hotel room. The doctor feared that the seizures were related


The MRI revealed significant white matter issues with my brain. I'm on yet another waiting list for what would amount for yet another significant health battle.


The scariest thing is that I've noticed myself slowly slipping away for the last year or two. To be perfectly honest with myself it's probably been since my spinal cord injury.


I used to be one of the mildest, calmest people you would hope to meet. A bit of a keyboard warrior but someone who always fought for what they believed in. Since my spinal cord injury I'm now prone to outbursts of anger and frustration, of deep emotional highs and lows. This was never who I was before.


But now with this brain issue I'm noticing my ability to communicate and participate in things that I used to take for granted increasingly difficult.


I have largely detached myself from my social circles and no longer participate to the level that I once did. I'll read what people have to say - what people post on social media with footy or my old basketball contacts have to say, etc. but I don't contribute my thoughts often anymore. Finding the words and getting my facts straight has become difficult. I have periods where I'll be wanting to be talking to or about someone specific and I'll name someone completely different. It's even happened here. It's even happening in my day to day life with my partner. It makes for confusing and challenging conversation.


There are days where I'm sick all day. There is nothing that shows up on my scans or x-rays or ultrasounds. Nothing plausible that makes a lot of sense. Nothing diagnosable. But I have days where I'll vomit every hour.


It's funny what happens when life forces you to make a bucket list for the remainder of your life. When doctors told me I had a limited time to live I wrote out a bucket list. I've accomplished pretty much everything that I thought I had time to do.


I even purchased a house with the medical compensation claim that I successfully pursued. I will leave my partner who I'm so proud of pursuing her social sciences degree in a great position with her son who I'm an extremely proud father to (**** the “step” part of that).


II'm only 45 in a few weeks, have 3 uni degrees, have worked for some of the most reputable companies in Australia and overseas, was selected to meet the former Governor-General of Australia less than a year prior to my spinal surgery. I had it all going for me and now I'm unemployable and slowly losing everything that made me who I was.


I honestly don't have it in me for another fight. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel this time. I am starting to feel like an ever increasing burden on my partner and family. I spend much of my time frustrated and disappointed that I can't do the types of things I want to do.


I've had a few recent confirmations that other people see it.


I worked my tail off for my son's parents and citizens group at the school but the office ladies treated me (and other parents to be fair) like we had nothing worthwhile to offer.


I've had numerous medical appointments where I've needed a support worker or my partner to be the primary communicator for me to get the type of treatment that I need.


Even on here I've been doing silly things that people who regularly communicate with me notice that I'm now not much more than an idiot who regularly ****s up. The last straw was confirmation that I'm an idiot on a forum that I'm unable to defend myself. A really low blow considering everything going on.


And so it is that I'm going to wait for the Christmas festivities to die down, give my partner time to support her best friend who's daughter was taken from us last Boxing Day (I posted about it here as it was happening), to show her love to her father who just had massive surgeries (diverticulitis, hernia, appendix removal) before I allow myself to slip off this mortal rock.


It is with great appreciation and love that I thank each and every one of you for being a significant part of my life for over a decade. I'm sorry that my contributions to this forum have significantly dwindled over the last year but you now understand why.


You're all such amazing people. One of the best forums anywhere on the Internet.


Thank you. Merry Christmas. Goodbye for now.


I have nothing left.

 

[Neese]

It's been a pleasure to know and chat to you.

I don't have anything to say to make it better but I want you to know that you are a good person who has had shit things happen to and that you are loved.

 

[Revenant1965]

Hi Wick. I will miss you. Your contributions in terms of insight and knowledge has been a gift to this place. I get it in terms of words and actions not always matching what mind wants. But it's who you are on the inside that counts, and those close to you know this. In my line of work I say to many people, Take life one day at a time. We know not what the future holds, and if life kicks back in an upward direction, I'd be glad to see you back in this space. Wishing you and yours all the best. Stay strong, and may blessings come your way. Rev.

 

[Coona Blues]

Hi Wick. I will miss you. Your contributions in terms of insight and knowledge has been a gift to this place. I get it in terms of words and actions not always matching what mind wants. But it's who you are on the inside that counts, and those close to you know this. In my line of work I say to many people, Take life one day at a time. We know not what the future holds, and if life kicks back in an upward direction, I'd be glad to see you back in this space. Wishing you and yours all the best. Stay strong, and may blessings come your way. Rev.

Well worded Rev. I am lost for words at the moment. Wick is a caring mate who has been dealt a Sh1t hand. Has fought back many times and I have faith he will again. Plenty of peaks and troughs when stuck on a medical journey and unfortunately reliant on “the system”. Has a great lady in his corner, but would rather contribute than be a burden. Great blokes are not a burden Wick, give yourself the love you give others.

 

[Coona Blues]

Hi all


This will likely be my last post on BigFooty.


I wanted to make that clear before I sign off permanently and share my final story.


The last six years have been one of the most difficult journeys of my entire life.


From undergoing life saving, emergency, spinal surgery a couple of days after my 39th birthday in January of 2029, not receiving the minimum standard of care throughout the first two years of rehabilitation, through to then undergoing months of inpatient treatment at the spinal unit of the hospital to then being diagnosed with terminal issues a couple of short months later.


Somehow, through doing everything that the specialists told me to do as well as pursuing my own wellness pursuits I “miraculously” reversed the conditions that the medical leaders in this country gave me 12 to 18 months to live.


I then fought through periods of exceedingly high blood pressure (seeing my BP at over 220 watching Carlton games was normal among other activities) and eventual legal blindness that still hasn't improved to a great level after two very significant surgeries.


If that wasn't enough in maybe August / September I began suffering seizures. I'd be sitting in the lounge room just relaxing with my family and either our son would do something funny or I'd play a practical joke and start belly laughing. The laugh would then stop mid laugh and the next thing I would know is that my partner would be standing in front of me extremely concerned for my well being.


I had a seizure attending the dog park a month or so ago. I fell onto my arm. Although it isn't broken it hasn't been the same since. I may have torn muscles or any number of things. I don't have full range of motion in it the way that I did immediately before the injury.d


This prompted a doctor's visit who recommended an MRI of the brain. When I was living and working in pro basketball in the US in the mid-2000s I suffered a small stroke in my hotel room. The doctor feared that the seizures were related


The MRI revealed significant white matter issues with my brain. I'm on yet another waiting list for what would amount for yet another significant health battle.


The scariest thing is that I've noticed myself slowly slipping away for the last year or two. To be perfectly honest with myself it's probably been since my spinal cord injury.


I used to be one of the mildest, calmest people you would hope to meet. A bit of a keyboard warrior but someone who always fought for what they believed in. Since my spinal cord injury I'm now prone to outbursts of anger and frustration, of deep emotional highs and lows. This was never who I was before.


But now with this brain issue I'm noticing my ability to communicate and participate in things that I used to take for granted increasingly difficult.


I have largely detached myself from my social circles and no longer participate to the level that I once did. I'll read what people have to say - what people post on social media with footy or my old basketball contacts have to say, etc. but I don't contribute my thoughts often anymore. Finding the words and getting my facts straight has become difficult. I have periods where I'll be wanting to be talking to or about someone specific and I'll name someone completely different. It's even happened here. It's even happening in my day to day life with my partner. It makes for confusing and challenging conversation.


There are days where I'm sick all day. There is nothing that shows up on my scans or x-rays or ultrasounds. Nothing plausible that makes a lot of sense. Nothing diagnosable. But I have days where I'll vomit every hour.


It's funny what happens when life forces you to make a bucket list for the remainder of your life. When doctors told me I had a limited time to live I wrote out a bucket list. I've accomplished pretty much everything that I thought I had time to do.


I even purchased a house with the medical compensation claim that I successfully pursued. I will leave my partner who I'm so proud of pursuing her social sciences degree in a great position with her son who I'm an extremely proud father to (**** the “step” part of that).


II'm only 45 in a few weeks, have 3 uni degrees, have worked for some of the most reputable companies in Australia and overseas, was selected to meet the former Governor-General of Australia less than a year prior to my spinal surgery. I had it all going for me and now I'm unemployable and slowly losing everything that made me who I was.


I honestly don't have it in me for another fight. I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel this time. I am starting to feel like an ever increasing burden on my partner and family. I spend much of my time frustrated and disappointed that I can't do the types of things I want to do.


I've had a few recent confirmations that other people see it.


I worked my tail off for my son's parents and citizens group at the school but the office ladies treated me (and other parents to be fair) like we had nothing worthwhile to offer.


I've had numerous medical appointments where I've needed a support worker or my partner to be the primary communicator for me to get the type of treatment that I need.


Even on here I've been doing silly things that people who regularly communicate with me notice that I'm now not much more than an idiot who regularly ****s up. The last straw was confirmation that I'm an idiot on a forum that I'm unable to defend myself. A really low blow considering everything going on.


And so it is that I'm going to wait for the Christmas festivities to die down, give my partner time to support her best friend who's daughter was taken from us last Boxing Day (I posted about it here as it was happening), to show her love to her father who just had massive surgeries (diverticulitis, hernia, appendix removal) before I allow myself to slip off this mortal rock.


It is with great appreciation and love that I thank each and every one of you for being a significant part of my life for over a decade. I'm sorry that my contributions to this forum have significantly dwindled over the last year but you now understand why.


You're all such amazing people. One of the best forums anywhere on the Internet.


Thank you. Merry Christmas. Goodbye for now.


I have nothing left.

Sending the love you deserve mate.