Found this on the "Endangered Dog Breeds Assoc. of Australia" forum & thought it was funny.
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch, or is it going to be the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray & the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around, we dogs love a nice ride, would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle", to the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest & no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, & frisbee flight paths, what do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti please.
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in heaven, if there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me just give you a list of just some of the things I must remember, to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it, or after they
throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc. just beacause
I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
they are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel, neither are Mum & Dads laps.
6. The garbage collecter, is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand, when he reaches in for Mum's
driver's license & registration.
9. I will not play tug -of- war with Dad's underwear, when he is
on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch, is not an acceptable
way to say "hello".
11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up, when I am lying
under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur, before entering the
house.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside & immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room & lick my crotch
when company is over.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him & he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And finally, my last question;
Dear God:
When I get to heaven, may I have my testicles back?
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch, or is it going to be the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray & the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around, we dogs love a nice ride, would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle", to the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest & no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, & frisbee flight paths, what do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti please.
Dear God:
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in heaven, if there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me just give you a list of just some of the things I must remember, to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats food before they eat it, or after they
throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc. just beacause
I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although
they are tasty, they are not food.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a face towel, neither are Mum & Dads laps.
6. The garbage collecter, is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand, when he reaches in for Mum's
driver's license & registration.
9. I will not play tug -of- war with Dad's underwear, when he is
on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch, is not an acceptable
way to say "hello".
11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up, when I am lying
under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur, before entering the
house.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside & immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room & lick my crotch
when company is over.
16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him & he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And finally, my last question;
Dear God:
When I get to heaven, may I have my testicles back?
