Random Random Thoughts Rebooted

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TheGoatBaron said:
I’m pretty sure caesar88 ‘s daughter just rode past my house. She was blasting some godforsaken rap music I don’t understand. I yelled out play some metal in a hope it’ll save her poor soul
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What the sigma
 

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Sorry for a bit of absence there in the last bit.

Actually had a member of the forum reach out and ask if I was ok today 😂 so thought I would type something here (plus psych is also trying to get me to be a bit more open with my feelings).

Likely getting diagnosed with either Major Depression or Bi-Polar type one in the upcoming week or two.

They have put me on happy pills for the moment at least which is something 😂

Honestly, it falls back to the fencing stuff and basically over pushing with trying to qualify for the Olympics, then the failure out of it. (I wasn't truly happy with my results, got a bad referee in another competition and have been a combination of disappointed, ashamed and angry at myself over it (at one point I was training over 20 hours a week, so should have done better).

Won't lie, have been feeling really ashamed and disgusted about feeling this way, I should be happy as I do have most things anyone would kill for (two successful careers, fit, loving wife, ugly cat, own my own house (I saved for it no inheritance), represented my country in an Olympic sport.

But honestly really struggling and kind of nearly did something stupid during the week.

Just thought I would give you all the heads up.

(I don't usually ask for help or anything, I tend to keep things to myself, but psych thinks typing these things is a good idea).
 
Bonz said:
Sorry for a bit of absence there in the last bit.

Actually had a member of the forum reach out and ask if I was ok today 😂 so thought I would type something here (plus psych is also trying to get me to be a bit more open with my feelings).

Likely getting diagnosed with either Major Depression or Bi-Polar type one in the upcoming week or two.

They have put me on happy pills for the moment at least which is something 😂

Honestly, it falls back to the fencing stuff and basically over pushing with trying to qualify for the Olympics, then the failure out of it. (I wasn't truly happy with my results, got a bad referee in another competition and have been a combination of disappointed, ashamed and angry at myself over it (at one point I was training over 20 hours a week, so should have done better).

Won't lie, have been feeling really ashamed and disgusted about feeling this way, I should be happy as I do have most things anyone would kill for (two successful careers, fit, loving wife, ugly cat, own my own house (I saved for it no inheritance), represented my country in an Olympic sport.

But honestly really struggling and kind of nearly did something stupid during the week.

Just thought I would give you all the heads up.

(I don't usually ask for help or anything, I tend to keep things to myself, but psych thinks typing these things is a good idea).
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Never feel ashamed and disgusted for how you feel and what you are going through.

It doesn't matter what you have etc , mental health, depression whatever doesn't just target people who have little or whatever.

Like you said you have worked hard to achieve a lot, sometimes we hit a wall.

Whatever the case its brave to share and I applaud you mate, vent here any time we will always support in the pissy way we can.
 

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