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AFLW 2024 - Round 8 - Chat, game threads, injury lists, team lineups and more.
I think what makes this stick out more is that it's set against a backdrop of utter inanity from a handful of Punt Roaders and Ikon Parkers.
Quality content that really shines in the dungheap of recent threads.
No wonder everyone (except me) likes the fred. He’s had all of September to write it.View attachment 2147547
note the posters club
No wonder everyone (except me) likes the fred. He’s had all of September to write.
Has anyone ever laughed at any of the inane shit you post?
Also, TL;DR
Best one so far.TIER 4: LOW AURA
Justin Longmuir - Fremantle Dockers
View attachment 2146639
Some people enjoying watching a man fail. Perhaps it is a product of that morbid part of our brain that wants to watch slow motion videos of car crashes or iPhone recordings from passengers on board a plane crash.
Or maybe modern times have hollowed out the innards of the common man, and for many gratification can now only be reached through the pain of others.
But I'm not one of those people. In fact, I wish I could make things better for Justin 'JL' Longmuir.
It's been rough watching a man who once kicked a goal after the siren, and I'm sure did some other things also, wilt out, become gaunt and grey and watch on in hypoventilation as his team provides a laugh track that echoes out for no one into the big empty nothingness that is Western Australia.
But I'm pretty sure Jesus said you can only help those who help themselves, and the fact of the matter is: JL took the job of head coach of the Fremantle Dockers. He was cursed the second he chose that path, because you can't untell a joke.
And some jokes are so shit that they do irreparable damage to one's aura.
Positive Aura+:
Negative Aura-:
- Enemies with Rory Lobb
- Tallest head coach
- Coaches Fremantle
- Seems like his interests would be 'fitness' and nothing else
- Going through a rough time (coaching Freo)
- Looks lost out there
Ken Hinkley - Port Adelaide Football Club (est. 1997)
View attachment 2146699
I used to want the best for Kenny. I like underdogs, and while Ken is no Rocky Balboa, if you recall he was nowhere near the top choice for the job at Port Adelaide after the sacking of Primus in 2012, so it came with enormous good will when Hinkley in his first 2 seasons in charge took Port Adelaide from losing to first year Gold Coast and the Bye to losing to the Hawks by 3 points in a prelim final. As it would turn out, with the benefit of a decade worth of hindsight, getting within 3 points of a Grand Final remains Kenny's best ever end of season result.
And as those results turned for Port, so did the fan sentiment. It's rough watching someone's good will run out.
Someone who once inspired so much hope in fans and had them believing that good times were only just around the corner, now a punching bag publicly falling into midlife obesity.
I felt like jumping to Ken's defence, screaming to these fans: "You all loved him once! Don't you remember!?".
I wished for nothing more than for Ken to get Port their 2nd flag, to fulfil the potential we all thought he had, to throw it in the face of all the neurotic haters.
But you know what I like more than underdogs? Actual dogs.
And while we may lampoon Justin Longmuir as a man who outwardly appears to have no recreational interests... Kenny uses his spare time to breed and race Greyhounds. A sport so despicable in its impacts on animal welfare that it is banned in almost every country on Earth, its effects responsible for thousands of pointless injuries and euthanasias, causing so many discarded animals to be sent to kill shelters in Australia that there is an entire foundation set up to advocate for their adoptions. It is so bad that a royal commission was held to understand the scale of its barbarity. You know how bad something has to be to require a royal commission??
Who the f**k is okay with that? Just straight up. F**k you Kenny, stop racing greyhounds.
Positive Aura+:
Negative Aura-:
- We all know the players love Kenny
- Seemingly unsackable
- Managed to look stupid trolling Jack Ginnivan
- Enemy of dogs
Simon Goodwin - Melbourne Football Club
View attachment 2146790
the following is a work of satire and Simon Goodwin has denied ever using illicit substances.
If I heard there was a professional football coach who was allegedly a meth user and a gambling addict and also had a history of making threats of violence towards journalists and doctors, I would honestly think that was pretty baller.
But if I then heard that the alleged coach in question was Simon Goodwin, I would think: well that explains why he always looks in dire need of some chapstick.
Whether it's hitting up Stephen Dank to procure boner pills, betting $16,000 on AFL games or pawning off his premiership jumpers, there's just always something going on with Goody. He's like that cousin who's always selling his ps2 then mysteriously procuring a new ps2 a few days later.
But hold on a second, you may ask: all these things are awesome, plus he's a premiership coach, why is Goodwin's Aura level so low??
To put it plainly, his Aura is just off. Completely disregarding the rabble that has become of the Melbourne Footy Club, so deep is the pit they've found themselves in that stars are trying everything they can to get out, and prized Free Agents are pulling out of handshake deals to avoid the place...
Disregarding all of that; Goodwin is just a shifty fella. He's got tweaker energy. He seems like he'd ask to bum a ciggie off you at Box Hill Station, or piss in the coin cup while sat at the Pokie machine cos he doesn't want to stop watching the flashy lights.
Positive Aura +:
Negative Aura -:
- Alleged drug use
- Premiership coach
- Always beefing with someone, probably just a catty bitch
- Might be tweaking
- Very dry looking
- Pawned his clothes
Brad Scott - Essendon Football Club
View attachment 2146835
I worry about Brad Scott.
You've probably wondered, what would be the psychological effects of having an identical twin brother who is more popular, more successful, better looking, held in higher regard, and is just generally more popular than you?
As someone whose twin brother lives in a car and has to shit in a bag and wash himself with wet t-shirts, I have never had to truly ponder this question, because I have lived it - my life is way worse than that and I can answer the question:
it sucks.
Scotty was not Essendon's first choice after sacking The Truck (I always thought having a diesel powered coach was a strange choice in the first place), nor was he their second choice. Essendon predictably chased after higher Aura coaches in Alastair Clarkson and Ross Lyon who both spurned the club's offers, before inviting Scott, Adem Yze and the man who not even 10 years ago got half the club's list suspended by the World Anti Doping Authority to interview for the role of head coach.
Scott, with a higher Aura level than Yze and without the baggage of Hird, easily landed the job, after which he went on record to say he wouldn't have taken it if the club did not go through a process to find their coach, rather than plainly anoint one. Thanks for that Ross and Clarko, because we sure as shit tried.
Scott's biggest plaudit is for overachieving as coach of North Melbourne, a feat that apparently comprises losing a preliminary final by 70 points and firing a handful of the club's best ever players. He now strives to bring that same success to the Bombers where he has so far lost both appearances of the Country Game and managed to axe club greats Jake Stringer and Sam Weideman.
I'm of the opinion that Brad Scott's Aura can go up. He's a smart guy, almost shoulder checked David King that one time, and he's got the highest Aura of the Low Aura category. But I can't help but feel that in becoming coach of Essendon he's gotten himself into a job for suckers... and only suckers do that.
Positive Aura +:
Negative Aura -:
- Smart and well spoken
- Of good character
- Cringe McDonald's ad
- Has the worst job in the country
- The less successful twin
- Said Tarryn Thomas was a good person
Low oddsIf the mods play their cards right, maybe just maybe this thread won’t get derailed.
Has anyone ever laughed at any of the inane shit you post?
My god that was a wretchedly bad second post.
Has anyone ever laughed at any of the inane shit you post?
No current season stats available
No current season stats available
No current season stats available
No current season stats available