Official Match Thread Season 32 Round 3 - Sin City Swamprats vs Coney Island Warriors at Underground Stadium

[The Half Back]

You don’t want a banter style based purely on drinking piss?

That eliminates a quarter of the league at least.

Geez this dumb arse government of ours - I went to a local pub last Saturday night to watch the Showdown. The game started before I got myself a drink, when suddenly this barmaid comes over and says to me, "You can't sit there without a mask on, unless you've got a drink in front of you." She then gives me a glass of water and says, "You don't have to drink it: you just have to have it in front of you."

I guess it's the crazy COVID world we live in now.

As someone who works in a bar, I can confirm, it is mental.

The Half Back
View attachment 1203258

Bake him away toys.

A young couple were looking for a family pet, and had decided a bird was what they wanted. So they go into a local pet shop, and ask the shop owner if they have a suitable bird for sale. The shop owner says, “We have this one here”, and he points out this gorgeous looking, colourful parrot.

The wife says, “Oh he’s beautiful – we’ll take him.”

The shop owner says, “Well madam, I must warn you that his language is a bit colourful at times.”

Husband and wife consult briefly, and then the husband says, “That’s OK – we can handle a bit of swearing.” So they pay the man, and take their new family member home.

Next day, the parrot lets fly with multiple rather loud obscenities. The couple are a little alarmed, but decide that he’s probably still settling into his new home, and it should improve over the coming days. But the following day, his language is worse, and even louder. This continues for a couple more days, and eventually the wife says to her husband, “I can’t handle this any longer – can we ask the pet shop if they can take the bird back?”

So they drive to the pet shop and ask that very question. The shop owner says, “I’ve heard that this bird may curb his language if he’s placed in the freezer for a short time – give it a try, and see how you go.” The couple agree, and when they get home, the parrot is put into the freezer.

But after half an hour, the wife suddenly says, “Oh no – the parrot: he’s still in the freezer.” She rushes into the kitchen, to see if the bird is still in the land of the living. She opens the freezer door, and to her relief discovers that the bird, although shivering violently, is otherwise unharmed.

Then the parrot says, “OK – I’ll cut out my swearing. But can I please ask a question: what did that bloody chicken do wrong?”

I really do expect better from you Phil. Sorry for holding you in such high regard, but that is A. way too long and B. not as funny as I’m accustomed to hearing from you.

 

[The Half Back]

It takes a whle to get Furies funk off you, But I'm working on it. Post game acid bath, metho, dettol, domestos you name it.

Can confirm it takes at least 6-8 weeks my friend.

 

[Dav]

Geez this dumb arse government of ours - I went to a local pub last Saturday night to watch the Showdown. The game started before I got myself a drink, when suddenly this barmaid comes over and says to me, "You can't sit there without a mask on, unless you've got a drink in front of you." She then gives me a glass of water and says, "You don't have to drink it: you just have to have it in front of you."

I guess it's the crazy COVID world we live in now.

In Darwin, apart from checking into businesses it’s as if COVID doesn’t exist, it’s terrific.

 

[BEEG]

I'm in a sh*t mood. Who wants to fight me in the car park?

Can I watch and maybe throw in a cheap kick.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Can I watch and maybe throw in a cheap kick.

facepuncher would be all over this.

 

[Tonga Bob]

You silly boy - you're assuming I know how to read.......

You read my post didn't you? Or did jackster83 read it for you and you couldn't understand it cos all he said was "EEE EEE EEE EEE EEEEEEEEE"?

 

[Tonga Bob]

You don’t want a banter style based purely on drinking piss?

Bear Grylls is a Swamprat?

 

[philreich]

You read my post didn't you? Or did jackster83 read it for you and you couldn't understand it cos all he said was "EEE EEE EEE EEE EEEEEEEEE"?

Took me 3 hours to respond to your post, didn't it?

 

[Tonga Bob]

Can I watch and maybe throw in a cheap kick.

Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?

 

[jackster83]

You read my post didn't you? Or did jackster83 read it for you and you couldn't understand it cos all he said was "EEE EEE EEE EEE EEEEEEEEE"?

It's not my fault we can't afford a secretary. Our yearly handout from the SFA went on the bar renovations.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Took me 3 hours to respond to your post, didn't it?

 

[Tonga Bob]

This was a gif too but I can only post 10 media things at a time.

Nunez is back!

Oh, yeah!

Well, one cannot say that we were negligent...



This was a gif too but I can only post 10 media things at a time.

12.

 

[GremioPower]

View attachment 1203340
12.

 

[GremioPower]

The reason for so many gifs is that I’m warming up for Dragon Week… [checks schedule] in R09!

 

[Tonga Bob]

The reason for so many gifs is that I’m warming up for Dragon Week… [checks schedule] in R09!

Say hi to them from us.

 

[NaturalDisaster]

The reason for so many gifs is that I’m warming up for Dragon Week… [checks schedule] in R09!

They will be too busy whinging about us still

 

[philreich]

View attachment 1203328

Unfortunately those 5 years I spent in grade 3 did me no favours .

 

[Tonga Bob]

They will be too busy whinging about us still

Can confirm. I don't normally pity the Bombers, but they've been providing some valuable group therapy this week.

 

[philreich]

They will be too busy whinging about us still

Does this mean you won't be joining the Dragons any time soon?

 

[Restricted Free Agent]

Can confirm. I don't normally pity the Bombers, but they've been providing some valuable group therapy this week.

View attachment 1203362

This is one of the most cursed images of all time

 

[Tonga Bob]

This is one of the most cursed images of all time

ooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

 

[Tonga Bob]

Hey is anyone here into gaming? I'm wanting to know if anyone's played Sea of Thieves yet.

 

[BEEG]

Hey is anyone here into gaming? I'm wanting to know if anyone's played Sea of Thieves yet.

I was in the movie Den of Thieves.

 

[Tonga Bob]

I was in the movie Den of Thieves.

Thought I recognised you as 'Thief #8'

 

[BEEG]

Unfortunately those 5 years I spent in grade 3 did me no favours .

It's not all bad you get 3 different groups of friends.