Media T2Media: "Defenders will need better access to toilets", concedes Dragons skipper as Twin Towers are revealed

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"They will positively sh*t themselves, mark my words".


Those were the words of Dragons skipper, T2B_ on Saturday afternoon. Following the Dragons FFC Best and Fairest Awards night, in which popular ruck Strigoi took out top honours, there was an air of positivity coming from Dragon HQ - and also concern.

"I would hope most clubs in the league has planned to upgrade their facilities, because quite frankly, the defenders will need better access to toilets, or at least more of them," T2B_ told reporters at Ljp86 Lair. "We now have current MVP Hatchy1992, who also finished equal second in the Fred, and as well as PhenomenalV1 in the same forward line. These guys will no doubt be 'twin towers' down there and I am very worried for the defenders of Sweet that have to try and man them. I think there will be many sleepless nights and worst case scenario, a lot of soiled pants. I do hope clubs are prepared and maybe even have psychologists on hand - and a whole lot of bog roll."


swole-hatchyandPhenom.png


Pictured: Excitement at Dragon HQ as 'Twin Towers' are unveiled for Season 35

During the Dragons' award night, the team's power forward in Hatchy1992 was presented his namesake medal for leading goal kicker. As a surprise to many, former Dragons skipper and three-time winner of the Hatchy1992 medal, PhenomenalV1, showed up to the event and presented the medal to the Dragons winner. It was then revealed the special guest was in fact coming out of retirement and making a comeback with his old club.

The Dragons skipper will perhaps have a bit of a challenge in positioning the power forwards, or perhaps for whoever the new coach will be. T2B_ appeared to become quite flustered during questions by reporters, the following of which is an excerpt of the exchange:

Reporter: "Okay, T2B_, ah many are probably wondering, will Hatchy or Phenomenal play at Full Forward"?

T2B_: "Yes."

R: "Right, but you can't play both there, or are you planning to rotate them?"

T: "Who says I can't play both there?"

R: "Well, the rules..."


T: "I mean, sure, there are rules, but like, if you think about it, we're all a bunch of organisms flying through space on a giant rock, a whole lot of chaos that's managed to find order somehow. And y'know.. like, nothing really matters, so what does it matter if the two guys both play there? Is anyone really going to physically stop them? Will they? Hatchy is basically Captain ****ing America and Phenom even in retirement is built to volley people across a room."

R: "Uh huh, well, that's definitely an opinion..."

T: "You're an opinion, now F off!"

The Dragons skipper then appeared to turn an unhealthy shade of bruised green and stormed off.


Admin house wouldn't make any official comment, but one insider says that admin Kennedy Parker has agreed that facilities should probably be looked at regardless and that upgrades will be considered, "somewhere between 2026 and 2034 but definitely before State of Origin".



 

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I didn't need someone to assist me in the forward.

Dragged the Drags to a flag by myself (whilst wearing drag)
I hear that you begged Braklet to join you at the OBs so you'd actually some half decent support in their F50. 😉
 

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These guys will no doubt be 'twin towers' down there and I am very worried for the defenders of Sweet that have to try and man them.
Grand Uncle Horace I predict the Baghdad Bombers will go undefeated against the Dragons this season.
 
Grand Uncle Horace I predict the Baghdad Bombers will go undefeated against the Dragons this season.
Explain Facebook Live GIF
 
How did I not think of that episode for the past two seasons whilst you played with us??? 😘
At least now we know why you recruited me in the first place! ;)
 

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Media T2Media: "Defenders will need better access to toilets", concedes Dragons skipper as Twin Towers are revealed

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