Opinion The joys and madnesses of relationships...

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Hi Comrades, it's WBW here

this thread has been created to indulge my random musings, and any of yours, on the joys and occasional madnesses of our relationships with others.

Would like a spirit of good will to prevail.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Friday misunderstanding number 1 with wife:

Scenario: me standing outside car while beloved is making a very tight car park.

Wife assumed I would alert her when she got too close to car in front. I assumed she realised I was paying attention to my mate on the phone.

 

[Vicky Park]

Friday misunderstanding number 1 with wife:

Scenario: me standing outside car while beloved is making a very tight car park.

Wife assumed I would alert her when she got too close to car in front. I assumed she realised I was paying attention to my mate on the phone.

These are the pitfalls of assumptions. Much damage to the car?

 

[Vicky Park]

On the topic of 'madnesses'. Husband has made several critical errors this weekend, i.e. failed to read my shopping list correctly.

Came home with a white sourdough loaf, instead of a white French loaf. There is a difference. A very big difference.

Was despatched to obtain a shoulder of lamb, for a Greek style roasting. Came back with something resembling lamb, but a shoulder it aint. There is a difference. A very big difference.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

These are the pitfalls of assumptions. Much damage to the car?

Pleasingly, the bumper on the Range Rover in front was designed to flex then rebound. Spared both cars damage.

Wife drives like Senna on crack so vehicle damage is not unknown in our household.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Recently most of the joy I've derived from relationships is getting out of them hahaha

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

On the topic of 'madnesses'. Husband has made several critical errors this weekend, i.e. failed to read my shopping list correctly...

Wife gives me shopping commands slowly and repeated thrice as if I am in a brain injury ward. History indicates she has good cause.

Nonetheless, I use such indignities to justify minor insurrections, like stealing her earphones.

 

[Magpie Girl]

Wife gives me shopping commands slowly and repeated thrice as if I am in a brain injury ward. History indicates she has good cause.

Nonetheless, I use such indignities to justify minor insurrections, like stealing her earphones.

How is it that a man can run a company but not follow a shopping list? (Says she shaking head)
It's a perplexing question

 

[Vicky Park]

How is it that a man can run a company but not follow a shopping list? (Says she shaking head)
It's a perplexing question

Or read the labels on supermarket items? You know, the things that explain what is actually in the product you are purchasing. (More head shaking)

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Or read the labels on supermarket items? You know, the things that explain what is actually in the product you are purchasing. (More head shaking)

Wish rock melons had labels indicating their ripeness.

Wife has routine where she weighs them in her hand and imbibes their scent as if it is a tantric exercise.

IF I did the same they would throw me out of Woolies for being a fruit miscreant.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Wish rock melons had labels indicating their ripeness.

Wife has routine where she weighs them in her hand and imbibes their scent as if it is a tantric exercise.

IF I did the same they would throw me out of Woolies for being a fruit miscreant.

I believe the correct term is fruitcake?

 

[Vicky Park]

Wish rock melons had labels indicating their ripeness.

Wife has routine where she weighs them in her hand and imbibes their scent as if it is a tantric exercise.

IF I did the same they would throw me out of Woolies for being a fruit miscreant.

Same applies to pineapples. Weighing and smelling the fruit is a must.

 

[Pedro]

Wife gives me shopping commands slowly and repeated thrice as if I am in a brain injury ward.

I'm hearing ya.

"Can you go down to Coles and grab some frozen Baby Peas. Thats Baby Peas. Not Mint Peas. Not normal Peas. Baby Peas. Baby Peas!!"
She will then ask me to repeat my instructions. "Get some peas, yeah, yeah, got it"
"Baby Peas, Baby peas you flipping idiot. Don't flipping get anything else!"

On that occasion I returned triumphant, much to her surprise

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

...smelling the fruit is a must.

Not durian. Now ex-girlfriend and I were stuck in a hot mini-van for 5 hours with a crate of these satanic-smelling fruits.

Back-story may have involved me saving money.

 

[Vicky Park]

I'm hearing ya.

"Can you go down to Coles and grab some frozen Baby Peas. Thats Baby Peas. Not Mint Peas. Not normal Peas. Baby Peas. Baby Peas!!"
She will then ask me to repeat my instructions. "Get some peas, yeah, yeah, got it"
"Baby Peas, Baby peas you ruddy idiot. Don't ruddy get anything else!"

On that occasion I returned triumphant, much to her surprise

Peas! I too have to underline 'not mint' in the shopping list!

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Peas! I too have to underline 'not mint' in the shopping list!

The mint pea is seriously under-rated.

It encapsulates main course and dessert in a tiny explosion of flavour.

 

[Bad Horse]

I have often wondered if there is a common defect involved in our inability to find the dirty dishes about to walk out on their own, the bottle of fabric softener, or the clitoris. If pressed by my girlfriend on my domestic blindness, I at least can point out that I have made stellar progress on the one of those three closest to her heart.

 

[Magpie Girl]

I have often wondered if there is a common defect involved in our inability to find the dirty dishes about to walk out on their own, the bottle of fabric softener, or the clitoris. If pressed by my girlfriend on my domestic blindness, I at least can point out that I have made stellar progress on the one of those three closest to her heart.

hmm, no comment

 

[JB1975]

I have often wondered if there is a common defect involved in our inability to find the dirty dishes about to walk out on their own, the bottle of fabric softener, or the clitoris. If pressed by my girlfriend on my domestic blindness, I at least can point out that I have made stellar progress on the one of those three closest to her heart.

I did find the last of your mystery trinity, once upon a time, but I was looking for fabric softener if I recall rightly.

 

[Bad Horse]

I did find the last of your mystery trinity, once upon a time, but I was looking for fabric softener if I recall rightly.

The importance and multiple benefits of fluffy towels cannot be overstated.

 

[Soups]

I'm hearing ya.

"Can you go down to Coles and grab some frozen Baby Peas. Thats Baby Peas. Not Mint Peas. Not normal Peas. Baby Peas. Baby Peas!!"
She will then ask me to repeat my instructions. "Get some peas, yeah, yeah, got it"
"Baby Peas, Baby peas you ruddy idiot. Don't ruddy get anything else!"

On that occasion I returned triumphant, much to her surprise

I would have gotten different peas. Or at least prentended to. Not because I didn't hear her... Because, well I'm a pest

 

[Pedro]

I would have gotten different peas. Or at least prentended to. Not because I didn't hear her... Because, well I'm a pest

I actually considered chucking a bag of mint peas on the bench as a pisstake.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

The importance and multiple benefits of fluffy towels cannot be overstated.

Mate of mine was dumped by his fiancee after she met a new guy on a plane. Mate was devastated. For more than a year he avoided dating, wary of being hurt again. Then he met a really sweet girl. After several dates he invited her to his house for dinner.

But his bedroom was a shambles - dodgy, mis-matched bedding from when he was at uni. So we went on a bro-date to DJ's. We returned with new sheets, doona, pillows etc. And new fluffy towels.

Dinner was a success. He is now happily married to her with two kids.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Wife is a multi-tasker: she moisturises her hands and arms while she drives the car.

This leaves a slick of L'Occitane on the steering wheel.

Whilst I appreciate her buttery soft skin, her beauty regime is compromising my ability to negotiate roundabouts.

 

[Temploar]

Ya'll complaining about your spouse/significant other and here's me just hoping a female will even look at me....

Pfft.