- May 23, 2012
- 15,756
- 14,535
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
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- Tottenham Hotspur, New Orleans Pels
Hello, all.
peternorth would like to welcome you all back to another enthralling NBA season. Last year we were blessed with the first ever in-season tournament, and a Boston title romp that went down on this board like a house on fire.
This season - who knows? From the sounds of it, we may soon be seeing pro basketball in Seattle and Vegas. If Adam Silver gets his way, we may even be exposed to hoops coming live from the auspices of Abu Dhabi, or Rwanda.
Anyway, since the AFL trade period has just just completed its annual circus run, I thought a nice segue into the NBA season would be to compare the offseason work of the AFL's best and the NBA's elite.
The 'Oh look, here comes another decade of domination' Hawthorn-style offseason
OKC Thunder: Weren't these guys supposed to be in the cellar for another couple of years? No? OK, I guess. Fresh from years of draft picks and a fairytale 2024 run, the Thunder went free agency shopping and landed big, bad Isaiah Hartenstein. Then they went and swapped Giddey for Alex Caruso. Remember, this was a team that already had a top-5 defensive rating last season. They're not going away, are they?
The 'This is fine, everything is fine' Melbourne/Port Adelaide-style offseason
LA Clippers: When you're in yourpremiership championship window, it's probably not a good idea to be losing key pieces that you cannot replace. On the plus side, at least the Clips aren't affiliated with Kane Cornes. The fact that they've gone out and actively recruited Kevin Porter Jr, Josh Primo and Kai Jones in the space of 12 months is... interesting, in the same way that the MFC's current modus operandi is interesting.
The '2023 was not a fluke, 2023 was not a fluke' Carlton-style offseason
Miami Heat: Much like the Blues, Miami's core keeps getting more and more expensive to maintain, which means in turn that they're losing depth at an alarming rate. They had the injury bug in common too. Can this team really win it all, or was 2023 a mirage?
LA Lakers: Nothing like a late season recovery and a barnstormingfinals playoffs run to instill confidence in a fallen giant. Again, was this a team that could afford to effectively stand pat this offseason? The new salary cap tax apron rules probably aren't helping here - ah, for the days when throwing some loose cash around solved every problem. Let's hope the Camporeale twins catch less focus than Bronny James, anyway.
The 'Draft picks are overrated anyway' Collingwood-Hail-Mary-style offseason
Milwaukee Bucks: Like the Pies, the Bucks probably brought in more talent (Trent, Prince, Wright) than they had any right to do considering how little they had to offer. Whether that's enough revive a veritable Dad's Army from their 2024 coma and take them to the top again however is anyone's guess.
Philadelphia 76ers: Daryl Morey zigged when everyone else was zagging, and somehow managed to make the most of his offseason shopping endeavours at a time when free agency shopping has become passe in the NBA. The reward is a brand new 'Big 3' in Philly - now, can they just stay healthy? Like the Pies, the Sixers will have to deal with some playoff Philly-wobble demons of their own too.
Morey couldn't free Hong Kong, so he freed PG13 instead
The 'Keep your filthy paws off my things' GWS-style offseason
Denver Nuggets: First the Pacers took Bruce Brown away from Denver, only to use him as trade-bait 6 months later. This year it was the turn of the upstart Magic to raid the Nuggets and steal KCP away. Suddenly there's an awful big load weighed on Joker's broad shoulders. And the Nuggets don't even get an academy either. Kinda ironic that the first true victim of the new punitive salary cap laws are a smallish-market team that was built almost entirely from the draft really - the more the NBA changes, the more it stays the same.
The 'People in Purple do desperate things' Fremantle-style offseason
Sacramento Kings: Well Sactown paid the Raptors some draft picks in a salary dump move, only for the Raptors to convince Sasha Vezenkov to give up all $7 million he was owed just to return to Europe. Freo fans know them feels. Now the Kings have made a move to escape the NBA's middle class by signing and trading for DeMar DeRozan. Worth it? Well, Sactown has opened up with a winless preseason, so...
The 'How to waste a King's ransom in assets' Gold Coast-style offseason
New Orleans Pelicans: The Anthony Davis and Jrue Holiday trades netted the Pels six first round picks, including two top-10 picks from the Lakers, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart and Lonzo Ball. And they already had Zion in the bag. Five years later, all those picks have now been spent, and this is the final form - Zion, Ingram, Dejounte Murray, CJ McCollum and a black hole at the centre position so large it threatens to suck whatever's left of Pels fans' sanity into oblivion. You're only as good as your team's front office, no matter how much dumb luck a franchise gets.
The 'Please don't break up with us, we'll pay you money' St Kilda/Western Bulldogs-style offseason
Indiana Pacers: Re-signed Pascal Siakam and Obi Toppin, and extended Nembhard and TJ McConnell, all for the cool total of $350 million.
Orlando Magic: Re-signed Bitadze, Harris and Mo Wagner, and extended brother Franz, Jonathan Isaac and Wendell Carter at a cost of $400 mil.
Cleveland Cavaliers: Re-signed Isaac Okoro, and extended Mitchell, Mobley and Allen for the princely sum of $500 million. Amazing how a few years in the wilderness, life in a non-glamourous market and some fleeting playoff success combine to make continuity a very appealing option. A very expensive, appealing option. On the other hand, unlike the Dogs and Saints they didn't lose a key player, so swings and roundabouts.
The 'Creative accounting and close-enough-home-pleasures' Geelong-style offseason
New York Knicks: When the Knicks sent a bazillion draft picks to the Nets to complete their Pokemon-style Villanova set with Mikal Bridges, on top of landing OG Anunoby to start off 2024, we assumed New York were done. Oh you sweet summer child. It turns out, the Knicks has one more piece of salary cap sh1tf*ckery magic up their sleeve. While neither KAT's birthplace in New Jersey nor Villanova are technically located within New York, 'home' appears to be a concept as elastic as a salary cap when it comes to the Knicks. Or Geelong for that matter.
The Knicks sold the farm for KAT. Meanwhile the Cats attempted to sell the farm to Oliver
The '2019 feels like a lifetime ago' Richmond-style offseason
Brooklyn Nets: Grand sale, grand sale, grand sale. Nothing off limits, everything must go. Well everything except for Ben Simmons, who much like Franco Cozzo's famous store, has become part of the furniture. Time for Ben to get off the Lay-Z-Boy and into the therapist's chair. At least the Tigers have three premierships to sugar the pain to come. All the Nets received for their troubles was a bizarre movie review. Draft picks anyone?
Toronto Raptors: Technically they chose to bite the rebuilding bullet last season with the Siakam and Anunoby trades, but still - five years is a long time in sports, as peternorth will testify. At least the Raps have a championship in the cupboard and Scottie Barnes under contract, neither of which can be said for the hapless Nets.
The 'We choose to do nothing' Essendon-style offseason
Memphis Grizzlies: Self-explanatory really. Also, I think Ja Morant would really get along with Jake Stringer and Nick Hind.
The 'We can afford to do nothing cos we're the effin champs' Brisbane-style offseason
Boston Celtics: If Pork stays injured it might leave a Joe Daniher-type hole in their tall department. That aside the C's are probably even better placed than Brisbane to repeat, even without the luxury of another Ashcroft.
The '2024 was an aberration' Sydney-style offseason
Phoenix Suns: Nothing much similar in their off-season approaches in all honesty, but boy did they both sh1t the bed in the post-season. Again. My Pels did too of course, but the difference is nobody expects more from New Orleans. The Suns did land Tyus Jones for nothing, which seems like the kind of annoyingly excellent player move the Swans would make if they were an NBA team.
The 'we already landed a star, so can afford to trade out of this draft' West Coast-style offseason
San Antonio Spurs: Among the more curious offseason moves was the Spurs' decision to trade the #8 pick to Minnesota. I guess when you have Wembanyama, or Harley Reid, you can do whatever the hell you want.
The '1997-98 were sure good times' Adelaide-style off-season
Chicago Bulls: It's not that either team necessarily did anything wrong this offseason, it's more that nobody really paid attention either way. Also say what you want about Jim Boylen as a coach, but at least he never sent his team on a Collective Minds Camp.
The 'Aimed for Aldi, but ended up shopping at the Reject Shop' North Melbourne-style offseason
Detroit Pistons: I don't like kicking them when they're down, but there's something about an offseason 'veteran leadership' haul of Tobias Harris, Malik Beasley and Tim Hardaway Jr that's incredibly depressing. The Pistons won 14 games last season, which technically is about as many as North has won in five years combined, so there's that. But there's also this:
Apologies to fans of teams such as the Wolves, Mavs and Rockets, among others, but your teams had the temerity to have off-seasons that couldn't be linked tangentially by my sinister little mind to an AFL team. That's probably a good thing.
Games start Wednesday with Celtics/Knicks followed by Lakers/Wolves. Happy new season, everyone.
peternorth would like to welcome you all back to another enthralling NBA season. Last year we were blessed with the first ever in-season tournament, and a Boston title romp that went down on this board like a house on fire.
This season - who knows? From the sounds of it, we may soon be seeing pro basketball in Seattle and Vegas. If Adam Silver gets his way, we may even be exposed to hoops coming live from the auspices of Abu Dhabi, or Rwanda.
Anyway, since the AFL trade period has just just completed its annual circus run, I thought a nice segue into the NBA season would be to compare the offseason work of the AFL's best and the NBA's elite.
The 'Oh look, here comes another decade of domination' Hawthorn-style offseason
OKC Thunder: Weren't these guys supposed to be in the cellar for another couple of years? No? OK, I guess. Fresh from years of draft picks and a fairytale 2024 run, the Thunder went free agency shopping and landed big, bad Isaiah Hartenstein. Then they went and swapped Giddey for Alex Caruso. Remember, this was a team that already had a top-5 defensive rating last season. They're not going away, are they?
The 'This is fine, everything is fine' Melbourne/Port Adelaide-style offseason
LA Clippers: When you're in your
The '2023 was not a fluke, 2023 was not a fluke' Carlton-style offseason
Miami Heat: Much like the Blues, Miami's core keeps getting more and more expensive to maintain, which means in turn that they're losing depth at an alarming rate. They had the injury bug in common too. Can this team really win it all, or was 2023 a mirage?
LA Lakers: Nothing like a late season recovery and a barnstorming
The 'Draft picks are overrated anyway' Collingwood-Hail-Mary-style offseason
Milwaukee Bucks: Like the Pies, the Bucks probably brought in more talent (Trent, Prince, Wright) than they had any right to do considering how little they had to offer. Whether that's enough revive a veritable Dad's Army from their 2024 coma and take them to the top again however is anyone's guess.
Philadelphia 76ers: Daryl Morey zigged when everyone else was zagging, and somehow managed to make the most of his offseason shopping endeavours at a time when free agency shopping has become passe in the NBA. The reward is a brand new 'Big 3' in Philly - now, can they just stay healthy? Like the Pies, the Sixers will have to deal with some playoff Philly-wobble demons of their own too.
Morey couldn't free Hong Kong, so he freed PG13 instead
The 'Keep your filthy paws off my things' GWS-style offseason
Denver Nuggets: First the Pacers took Bruce Brown away from Denver, only to use him as trade-bait 6 months later. This year it was the turn of the upstart Magic to raid the Nuggets and steal KCP away. Suddenly there's an awful big load weighed on Joker's broad shoulders. And the Nuggets don't even get an academy either. Kinda ironic that the first true victim of the new punitive salary cap laws are a smallish-market team that was built almost entirely from the draft really - the more the NBA changes, the more it stays the same.
The 'People in Purple do desperate things' Fremantle-style offseason
Sacramento Kings: Well Sactown paid the Raptors some draft picks in a salary dump move, only for the Raptors to convince Sasha Vezenkov to give up all $7 million he was owed just to return to Europe. Freo fans know them feels. Now the Kings have made a move to escape the NBA's middle class by signing and trading for DeMar DeRozan. Worth it? Well, Sactown has opened up with a winless preseason, so...
The 'How to waste a King's ransom in assets' Gold Coast-style offseason
New Orleans Pelicans: The Anthony Davis and Jrue Holiday trades netted the Pels six first round picks, including two top-10 picks from the Lakers, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart and Lonzo Ball. And they already had Zion in the bag. Five years later, all those picks have now been spent, and this is the final form - Zion, Ingram, Dejounte Murray, CJ McCollum and a black hole at the centre position so large it threatens to suck whatever's left of Pels fans' sanity into oblivion. You're only as good as your team's front office, no matter how much dumb luck a franchise gets.
The 'Please don't break up with us, we'll pay you money' St Kilda/Western Bulldogs-style offseason
Indiana Pacers: Re-signed Pascal Siakam and Obi Toppin, and extended Nembhard and TJ McConnell, all for the cool total of $350 million.
Orlando Magic: Re-signed Bitadze, Harris and Mo Wagner, and extended brother Franz, Jonathan Isaac and Wendell Carter at a cost of $400 mil.
Cleveland Cavaliers: Re-signed Isaac Okoro, and extended Mitchell, Mobley and Allen for the princely sum of $500 million. Amazing how a few years in the wilderness, life in a non-glamourous market and some fleeting playoff success combine to make continuity a very appealing option. A very expensive, appealing option. On the other hand, unlike the Dogs and Saints they didn't lose a key player, so swings and roundabouts.
The 'Creative accounting and close-enough-home-pleasures' Geelong-style offseason
New York Knicks: When the Knicks sent a bazillion draft picks to the Nets to complete their Pokemon-style Villanova set with Mikal Bridges, on top of landing OG Anunoby to start off 2024, we assumed New York were done. Oh you sweet summer child. It turns out, the Knicks has one more piece of salary cap sh1tf*ckery magic up their sleeve. While neither KAT's birthplace in New Jersey nor Villanova are technically located within New York, 'home' appears to be a concept as elastic as a salary cap when it comes to the Knicks. Or Geelong for that matter.
The Knicks sold the farm for KAT. Meanwhile the Cats attempted to sell the farm to Oliver
The '2019 feels like a lifetime ago' Richmond-style offseason
Brooklyn Nets: Grand sale, grand sale, grand sale. Nothing off limits, everything must go. Well everything except for Ben Simmons, who much like Franco Cozzo's famous store, has become part of the furniture. Time for Ben to get off the Lay-Z-Boy and into the therapist's chair. At least the Tigers have three premierships to sugar the pain to come. All the Nets received for their troubles was a bizarre movie review. Draft picks anyone?
Toronto Raptors: Technically they chose to bite the rebuilding bullet last season with the Siakam and Anunoby trades, but still - five years is a long time in sports, as peternorth will testify. At least the Raps have a championship in the cupboard and Scottie Barnes under contract, neither of which can be said for the hapless Nets.
The 'We choose to do nothing' Essendon-style offseason
Memphis Grizzlies: Self-explanatory really. Also, I think Ja Morant would really get along with Jake Stringer and Nick Hind.
The 'We can afford to do nothing cos we're the effin champs' Brisbane-style offseason
Boston Celtics: If Pork stays injured it might leave a Joe Daniher-type hole in their tall department. That aside the C's are probably even better placed than Brisbane to repeat, even without the luxury of another Ashcroft.
The '2024 was an aberration' Sydney-style offseason
Phoenix Suns: Nothing much similar in their off-season approaches in all honesty, but boy did they both sh1t the bed in the post-season. Again. My Pels did too of course, but the difference is nobody expects more from New Orleans. The Suns did land Tyus Jones for nothing, which seems like the kind of annoyingly excellent player move the Swans would make if they were an NBA team.
The 'we already landed a star, so can afford to trade out of this draft' West Coast-style offseason
San Antonio Spurs: Among the more curious offseason moves was the Spurs' decision to trade the #8 pick to Minnesota. I guess when you have Wembanyama, or Harley Reid, you can do whatever the hell you want.
The '1997-98 were sure good times' Adelaide-style off-season
Chicago Bulls: It's not that either team necessarily did anything wrong this offseason, it's more that nobody really paid attention either way. Also say what you want about Jim Boylen as a coach, but at least he never sent his team on a Collective Minds Camp.
The 'Aimed for Aldi, but ended up shopping at the Reject Shop' North Melbourne-style offseason
Detroit Pistons: I don't like kicking them when they're down, but there's something about an offseason 'veteran leadership' haul of Tobias Harris, Malik Beasley and Tim Hardaway Jr that's incredibly depressing. The Pistons won 14 games last season, which technically is about as many as North has won in five years combined, so there's that. But there's also this:
Apologies to fans of teams such as the Wolves, Mavs and Rockets, among others, but your teams had the temerity to have off-seasons that couldn't be linked tangentially by my sinister little mind to an AFL team. That's probably a good thing.
Games start Wednesday with Celtics/Knicks followed by Lakers/Wolves. Happy new season, everyone.
