It's Week 24. Can you name the player wearing no. 24 on the Basketball Card above?
Answer will be given at the end of this post.
We're nearing the end of the Regular Season, which means it's time to hand out Awards to those players who have excelled in 2015/16.
But we won't be looking at the MVP, MIP or any of the other official Award categories here.
Instead we'll be recognising those who have distinguished themselves in areas that usually go overlooked by mainstream media.
So let's take an Award Tour through the 2015-16 NBA Season:
The Ben Affleck Award for Most Regretful Movie Appearance:
D'Angelo Russell
So there was Nick Young, chilling on his sofa, simultaneously watching TV and looking at his laptop - just enjoying a bit of Electric Relaxation you could say - all while chatting to Russell.
Little did he know that this conversation would be the cause of a huge rift in the team (no to mention his relationship).
The D'Angelo Russell/Nick Young saga has brought up questions surrounding trust, surreptitious recordings, bro-codes, monogamous relationships, social media, youth, snitching, cheating and forgiveness.
Of all the mini soap operas that have occurred this season this is the most tiresome. It's a mess, and not one worth wasting any more time on.
Misunderstood Player Of The Year:
Matthew Dellavedova
The guy ain't dirty, he's just not afraid to Stir It Up and play physically.
Delly has done well to establish his place on the Cavs roster and has hopefully worked his way into a decent payday. Speaking of which...
Best Performance In A Contract Year:
Hassan Whiteside
He affects shots at the basket like no other player in the league (averaging 1.4 more blocks than anyone else, and with a Defensive FG% at the rim 3rd only to John Henson and the mighty Boban Marjanovic amongst players who have played at least 50 games).
Yes he's a headcase, but chances are this headcase will get a max contract next season.
Not bad for a guy whose career had previously been defined by Excursions to the D-League, China and Lebanon.
Most Overlooked Farewell Tour:
Kevin Garnett
Nothing has been officially stated, but you'd have to think that Garnett's playing days are just about over.
He's not as universally worshipped as Kobe, nor as respected as Duncan, but KG is nonetheless an all-time great whose career should be celebrated.
I wonder if he'll try to convince Sam Mitchell if he can suit up for one final time this season.
"Can I kick it?", he might ask Mitchell.
Hopefully the coach replies with "Yes you can", so that KG gets the farewell he deserves.
Most Suprising Late Season Cameo:
Cristiano Felicio
Obscure Brazilian big men are not new to the NBA, but Felciano is starting to rise above the obscurity via solid defense and rebounding. He's passed Bairstow on the depth chart and has logged more minutes than Chicago golden child Bobby Portis in the last couple of games.
But is it all too little too late for the Bulls? "What's the Eastern Conference Playoff Scenario?" you might ask.
While Chicago are still mathematically a chance of making the postseason, I'm guessing that Bulls fans currently share the same mindset as Bill Paxton in Aliens: "Game over man, game over!"
The Charles Barkley Award for Most Quotable Player:
Evan Turner
Not only did Turner's mid-range game play a critical role in delivering Golden State their first home loss last week, but his quotes have also played a criticial role in bringing levity to a soap-opera type NBA season.
Click here to Check the Rhime that Turner has been spitting this season.
The Hulk Hogan Award for Best Wrestler:
Draymond Green
In case you missed it, here's that final play sequence against Boston...Evan Turner falls as if he's slipped on Butter, triggering Draymond's finishing move.
The Shaq Award for Free Throw Futility:
Andre Drummond (35.4% from the line)
Stacey King asked the question during yesterday's Bulls/Pistons game: Will Drummond's free throw woes come back to haunt the Pistons in the Playoffs?
It's a reasonable question to ask - Van Gundy has had no hesitation in playing Baynes in the final minutes of close games to avoid the Hack-A-Drummond strategy, but for all of Baynes' good qualities, he's no Drummond.
On offense, he's nowhere near the threat that Drummond is (giving opposing defenders more allowance to crowd Jackson on the pick and roll) and on defense he doesn't scare opponents away from driving into the paint.
It's a conundrum that's bound to make Van Gundy even more Stressed Out.
Hair Of The Year:
Jeremy Lin
This Award is for the early season mohawk (not the current slicked-back version). I mean, Lin could Go Ahead In The Rain and still not mess up that spiky 'do.
(I realise I'm well past the limit on that Lin hair mentions...I just wanted to give an award to a Charlotte Hornet in recognition of the great season they've had, and it was either this Award or 'Most Tall White Guys').
Freddie Mercury Lookalike Award:
Enes Kanter
We harp on abour Kanter's defensive issues, but we should mention his offensive rebounding prowess as well.
(Amongst players who have played at least 50 games, his Offensive Rebound % is 2nd only to the mighty Boban Marjanovic).
As soon as a Thunder shot is launched Kanter is bouncing around eagerly like a rabbit, hunting for that rebound. His direct opponents really to need to Get A Hold of Enes and box him out when that shot goes up.
The Chris Bosh Award For Best Videobomber:
Kent Bazemore
I know what you're thinking, videobombing is so 2014. Well it may be a dying art but one man is trying his hardest to keep the the tradition alive by consistently providing weird Vibes and Stuff in the background of interviews:
Bromance Of The Year:
DeMar DeRozan & Kyle Lowry
A record number of wins, DeRozan providing possibly The Jam of the season (non Dunk Contest edition)...It's been all fun and games in Toronto and these two have been at the centre of it all.
The real stuff starts later this month though, when we'll see if the Raptors can overcome their recent Playoff failures.
Former NBA Player Most Likely to Build an Apocalypse Bunker:
Adam Morrison
The former Laker legend wins this award because apparently he has already built an apocalypse bunker.
According to a friend of his, part of the reason Morrison is Buggin' Out and needing the bunker:
"He thinks something's going down with politics or something."
Model Of Efficiency
The graph below plots Adjusted Offensive and Defensive Efficiency (points scored and allowed per 100 possessions, adjusted for League Average) for the Post-All Star Break period. Basically the further in the top right corner you are, the better you are.
Once again, credit for the original idea goes to Bigfooty User Final Siren, who created the concept in the thread: The Race for the Flag in Squiggly Lines).
Quiz Question Of The Week
Which 2 NBA Players are currently averaging more than 1 steal per game, more than 1 block per game and more than 1 three per game this season?
Draymond Green
DeMarcus Cousins
DeMarcus Cousins
Dunk Of The Week
Quick Hitters
- You might have noticed that the Awards doubled as an homage to A Tribe Called Quest, who unfortunately lost member Phife Dawg recently. For those feeling nostalgic, here are links to the songs mentioned in the Awards:
- One Award where I couldn't decide the winner: The Kirk Hinrich Award for Player Most Hated By His Own Team's Fanbase. Is it Norris Cole? Omer Asik? Doug McDermott? Rudy Gay?
- Australia's greatest basketballer retired earlier this week...what a great career it was for Lauren Jackson.
- Shelvin Mack has been good and all, but sometimes he dribbles himself into trouble. The imminent return of Alec Burks should see a return to the triple-wing offense in crunch time.
- Most of the Playoff qualification talk out West has revolved around Houston, Dallas and Utah vying for postseason spots. But the Grizzlies, currently on a 5 game losing streak, aren't completely safe either.
- Check out the great ball and player movement on this play by the Warriors last week
- 2 players who have scored 40 or more in a game this season: Bojan Bogdanovic & J.J. Redick
- 2 players who have not scored 40 or more in a game this season: LeBron James & Carmelo Anthony
- The player on the Basketball Card was Micheal Williams, who holds the NBA record for most consecutive free throws at 97.
What To Watch For This Week
Mon: Portland @ Golden State. I wonder If Draymond will go with "The People's Elbow" or "The Rock Bottom" in this game.
Tue: No NBA games scheduled so as not to clash with the NCAA Final. I think the Final is between Murray State and Colgate University this year.
Wed: Charlotte @ Toronto. Raps have probably given up on top seed in the East, but this should still be a well contested game.
Thu: Houston @ Dallas. Yeah, this one's kinda important.
Fri: San Antonio @ Golden State. Duncan, Parker & Ginobili will probably all stay home and watch this one on TV like the rest of us.
Sat: Memphis @ Dallas. I never realised Zach Randolph was such a deep thinker.
Sun: Boston @ Atlanta. Forget the Cleveland game being played at the same time and instead join the Party Next Door as East seeds 3-6 continue to be shuffled.
