Media The Wrong Pants - A Story of pantskyle's 400th Birthday Present

[Tonga Bob]

For his 400th birthday, The Filth Wizard gives his brother, pantskyle, a pair of robotic "techno-pants" to take him on walks. To pay his debts, Filthy lets a room to an orange buffoon, who befriends Filthy and drives kyle out of the house. The buffoon takes an interest in the pants, which can walk on walls and ceilings, and secretly rewires them for remote control. kyle discovers the buffoon is The Donald, a criminal who disguises himself as the Leader of the Western World by donning a red rubber glove on his head.

Donald forces kyle into the pants, sends him through town to tire him out, then sends him to bed. Filthy spies on Donald as he takes measurements of the city museum, and discovers his plans to steal a diamond. While kyle sleeps, Donald marches him to the museum in the pants. He infiltrates the building and captures the diamond, but triggers the alarm, waking kyle. Donald marches him back to the house and traps him and Filthy in a wardrobe at gunpoint.

kyle rewires the pants to break open the wardrobe, and he and Filthy pursue Donald aboard their model train set. Filthy disarms Donald and frees himself from the pants. After Donald's train collides with the pants, kyle captures him in a milk bottle. Donald is imprisoned in the city zoo, and Filthy pays his debts with the reward money. The discarded techno pants reactivate and walk off into the sunset.​

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Well that was a wild way to celebrate 400 SFA games, but it was so pantskyle! Let's now take a more traditional view of this milestone event:

Games: 399* (CIW 178*, LVB 51, ROY 48, MBD 39, ESH 36, GCR 25, GUM 16, WON 6) - 35th in the SFA
Hitouts: 1119 - 13th in the SFA
Kicks: 3794 - 6th in the SFA
Marks: 233 - 526th in the SFA
Handballs: 3595 - 3rd in the SFA
Tackles: 1712 - 1st in the SFA
Frees For: 956 - 1st in the SFA
Frees Against: 409 - 23rd in the SFA
Goals: 297 - 48th in the SFA
Behinds: 196 - 45th in the SFA
Disposals - 7389 - 5th in the SFA
DT Points: 28945 - 6th in the SFA
Mobbs Medal Votes: 252 - 1st in the SFA
Frankston Rover Medal Votes: 360 - 2nd in CIW
beez Votes: 4227 (as at end of s37) - 22nd in the SFA

1 x SFA Premiership
2 x Mobbs Medal
1 x EKA
1 x Sweet FA HoF Induction
1 x CIW Life Membership
5 x Frankston Rover Medallist
8 x All-SFA
1 x Pwned Trophy

Debut: Roys FFC - Season 15, Round 1
Highest HitOuts: 26 - Season 18, Round 14 - East Side Hawks vs. (Las Vegas Bears)
Highest Kicks: 26 - Season 35, Round 05 - Roys FFC vs. (Coney Island Warriors)
Highest Marks: 10 - Season 38, Round 10 - (Coney Island Warriors) vs. Las Vegas Bears
Highest Handballs: 23 - x2 occasions
Highest Tackles: 16 - Season 19, Round 13 - Roys FFC vs. (Las Vegas Bears)
Highest Disposals: 38 - Season 36, Round 11 - Gumbies FFC vs. (Coney Island Warriors)
20+ Disposals: x184 occasions
Highest DreamTeam Points: 137 - Season 33, Round 05 - Baghdad Bombers vs. (Coney Island Warriors)
100+ DreamTeam Points: x62 occasions
Highest Goals: 5 Goals - x2 occasions
5+ Goals: x2 occasions

Mazel tov on being involved in 400 games of imaginary footy, you are truly an ornament to this place!

Now Sweet please fill the thread with messages of will towards our lithium-powered anthropomorphic simian friend. Good or ill, it's up to you.​

 

[Gralin]

congrats pants!

 

[The Filth Wizard]

For his 400th birthday, The Filth Wizard gives his brother, pantskyle, a pair of robotic "techno-pants" to take him on walks. To pay his debts, Filthy lets a room to an orange buffoon, who befriends Filthy and drives kyle out of the house. The buffoon takes an interest in the pants, which can walk on walls and ceilings, and secretly rewires them for remote control. kyle discovers the buffoon is The Donald, a criminal who disguises himself as the Leader of the Western World by donning a red rubber glove on his head.

Donald forces kyle into the pants, sends him through town to tire him out, then sends him to bed. Filthy spies on Donald as he takes measurements of the city museum, and discovers his plans to steal a diamond. While kyle sleeps, Donald marches him to the museum in the pants. He infiltrates the building and captures the diamond, but triggers the alarm, waking kyle. Donald marches him back to the house and traps him and Filthy in a wardrobe at gunpoint.

kyle rewires the pants to break open the wardrobe, and he and Filthy pursue Donald aboard their model train set. Filthy disarms Donald and frees himself from the pants. After Donald's train collides with the pants, kyle captures him in a milk bottle. Donald is imprisoned in the city zoo, and Filthy pays his debts with the reward money. The discarded techno pants reactivate and walk off into the sunset.​

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[pantskyle]

lol my name isn't kyle.

 

[Supersuns]

Nice work pants guy

 

[Mrs Turbo]

Huge Congrats to you on 400 - pantskyle not Kyle

 

[Tigerturbulance]

Congrats pants on reaching 400,
you haven't aged a day since that time we got hitched in the trailer park xxx

 

[DenieD]

lol my name isn't kyle.

 

[Mobbs]

Congrats pantskyle ! Been a heck of a career, since you started with us way back then. In 3 season with us you racked up 2420 match thread posts, including an IMS award in S16.

A bit calmer since that manic start, but still a staple of the competition. Enjoy your milestone!

 

[Braklet]

Congratulations on your big old thing, pantskyle!

Oh, and on your quad century too, I guess.

(Amazed anybody can stand the rest of us as long as you.)

 

[GreyCrow]

Congrats on your 400 pantskyle

Congrats on your 9 All-SFA nods as well

 

[Headless]

I often tell my coworkers about pantskyle's 39 games at the Mount Buller Demons.

 

[GreyCrow]

I often tell my coworkers about pantskyle's 39 games at the Mount Buller Demons.

Now I know where Okey gets it from

 

[Headless]

Now I know where Okey gets it from

okey is a Hall of Fame Immortal, after all.

Right?

Right?

 

[GreyCrow]

okey is a Hall of Fame Immortal, after all.

Right?

Right?

Fastest to 1000

 

[Dingster]

Grats pantskyle on the big 400

 

[DemonJim]

lol my name isn't kyle.

Yeah, and my name isn't Jim.

Congrats big dog, who is not named kyle.

 

[Scythe94]

Yeah, and my name isn't Jim.

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

 

[TRUMAN#1]

Congrats on 400, great acheivement.

I look forward to out Rucking you this season.

 

[DenieD]

Yeah, and my name isn't Jim.

 

[Tonga Bob]

lol my name isn't kyle.

Yeah, and my name isn't Jim.

Congrats big dog, who is not named kyle.

People also say that my name may not be Bob. Really makes you think aye

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Congrats pants on reaching 400,
you haven't aged a day since that time we got hitched in the trailer park xxx

View attachment 2214826

I remember the wedding well.

 

[DemonJim]

I remember the wedding well.

View attachment 2215290

Name not actually kyle is a lot more dressed than I am used to seeing him.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Fastest to 1000

In about 3-4 weeks I think I'll be second fastest which is a nice reminder for me.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Name not actually kyle is a lot more dressed than I am used to seeing him.

Usually the necklace is pearl too.