Things said at Office jobs

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Big boss says..... This project is critically important to our success and I need everyone to focus on it

Staff around the table nod and put on srs face

Big boss gets in car and FIFO's back to Schitney

Staff go back to normal work but now have to concoct yet another bullshit spreadsheet every week and moan about it​
 
If it's a woman she will then usually moan about how she wishes she could eat something like that but she's just got a salad because she's on a diet.

Even though those types of women will swoop on any cakes or biscuits brought out for morning tea like a seagull on a packet of chips.

Yeah, we had a HUUUUGE woman at work. She frequently made a big display of making some salad shit in the work kitchen. Nobody believed she didn't have a big stash of donuts or similar in her office. You could tell she was approaching by the sound of rubbing thighs - ugh!
 
Yeah, I don't think my workplace's conversations are entirely appropriate for a family friendly forum.
Same, people talk about some really weird and at times surprising deep shit on the job.

The most common things said in my line of work is, "**** it, you do it" and "would you just **** off" to random cars driving onto your site at 2 a.m. in the morning.
 

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Things said at Office jobs

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