We're currently in the dead-zone between cricket and footy season. Which gave me time and pause to reflect on the truly great moments I've been privileged to bear witness to in the 6 or so years I've been on Bigfooty.
And so please allow me to present below my list (from 5 to 1) of the greatest moments in Bigfooty History (circa 2019-2025), as observed by Dubai Quacker.
I'm sure there'll be some I've missed (and some that are controversial omissions, such as the Sam Reid drive-thru saga, Donza's unnervingly accurate weather forecasting, or the Judas Dawson melts) ... but its all in the eye of the beholder.
Comments welcome!
5.Game Day Thread (Round 21, 2024)
Game Day threads are truly things of wonder.
Full of frothing-at-the-mouth proclamations of emotion-charged “fact” that generally turn out to look cringeworthy and foolish 2 hours later, they are a true joy to behold.
If medals are to be handed out for the most unhinged (and thereby best) game day threads, the 2022 and 2024 GF threads would stand on the podium in the bronze and silver medal positions.
But it is the game day thread of August 2, 2024 that sits proudly above all others in the gold medal position. For it is the fateful day that Port Adelaide, led by the greatest coach in AFL history, Ken Hinkley, dispatched the Swans to the tune of 112 points.
And the melts were truly EPIC.
It all started out innocuously enough. Pre-game, optimistic statements abounded, such as an observation that Aaron Francis is underrated and that Heeney would be BOG. Indeed, with the news that Pete Ladhams was selected, strauchanie59 boldly announced the Swans would win by 82.
And then the game started.
By page 21 (of 47), the melts had truly set in. Warner, Gulden, Blakey, Mills and a few others were all to be delisted immediately. Horse was to be sacked.
By page 23, the club was to be folded. Curious but no doubt helpful suggestions involving trucks and chicken farms were being made. Aaron Francis wasn’t underrated any more.
By page 26, you wouldn’t allow your children to read what was being posted.
And it all went downhill from there.
But the sheer joy of venting along with so many other devoted Swans’ fans made that thread one of the greatest things ever to appear on Bigfooty.
If you ever want to reflect on raw human emotion and how it manifests, the game day thread of August 2, 2024 is for you.
In fact, it’d make a great PhD case-study for a budding doctor of psychology.
4.Bear & Bandicoot
Its origins are somewhat lost in the mists of time (perhaps only Bandicoot can regale us with true tales of its genesis), but the mythical Bear & Bandicoot has nonetheless become sacred to all devoted Swans Bigfooty Fans.
Got a beef with a fellow poster?
Take it to the Bear & Bandicoot.
Someone called you a campaigner for suggesting James Bell was unfairly treated at the selection table?
Take it to the Bear & Bandicoot.
Started a Sack Horse thread & been chastised by a mod for it?
Take it to the Bear & Bandicoot.
I don’t plan on opening a pub any time soon. But if I do, it’ll be called the Bear & Bandicoot.
And I sincerely hope to see you all there. Because the beers are on me, just flash your Bigfooty ID at the door.
3.Milestone Men
The Swans’ board is full of characters with a regal persona.
With caesar88 , Jewelsbon , KingV23 and even the hypnotoad (who may or may not turn into a prince if kissed), the list of royal posters is impressive. And thats not to mention the Queen of mods, Ticky009 herself.
And yet it was The King! who raised the bat to the adoring crowds in late 2024, as he reached the 150,000 post milestone. The significance of a Tasmanian having the literacy to achieve such a feat was not lost of Bigfooty and The King! was rightly lauded for the monumental achievement that it was.
Equating to a rate of circa 7,500 posts per annum, it is a record that surely could never be surpassed.
Or could it?
For it transpires that our very own LukeParkerno1 has indeed outdone The King! , with an awe-inspiring 195,000 posts over a decorated 20 year career on Bigfooty.
I will personally shout the bar at the Bear & Bandicoot when the 200,000 milestone is reached. Which by my calculations should be around mid-March.
2.Sparkelord
The annual Draft and Trade Hypotheticals thread is a joy to behold. Indeed, it is THE most eagerly anticipated annual thread, with a popularity and rabid fan base comparable only to Kurt Tippet – retired 2018.
And yet, for a few brief days in September 2021, the Draft and Trade Hypotheticals thread was sent into an unprecedented frenzy, courtesy of two cryptic and yet compelling posts by the mysterious SparkleLord.
The first post arrived out of the blue on the morning of September 7. It hit like a tsunami – containing statements that were either genuine insights from a club insider, or alternately, a brilliantly crafted pile of utter garbage.
George Hewett had been given permission to look elsewhere. Ditto Sam Reid. The quantum of compo we’d get for each was articulated, as was the Swan’s general trade philosophy. Parker was keen on Brisbane, but not Carlton, Essendon, or Gold Coast. Dawson was leaning towards staying, but only on a 2 year contract. Delistings had been finalized & there were no surprises coming. And so much more.
The board went into melt-down. It was the greatest grenade in Bigfooty history.
The frenzied board craved another post. More information. More insights! Who was @Sparkelord? When would he post again?!
But then – silence. Deafening, frustrating silence.
Until September 11, when a follow-up post hit the board.
Dawson was leaving (to Port), even though he was seen as important by both SA clubs, due to Rankine being the only gettable Sun. Hewett was going to Carlton, with Band 2 compo coming back in return. The Swans were philosophical about both leaving. Stephens, McLean and Wicks will all extend. Fox will stay, provided he isn’t offered a 2+1 deal elsewhere. Paddy McCartin was coming.
A number of other players of interest were named, the Swans “embrace the churn” philosophy was detailed and COLA was never coming back.
The September 11 post was signed off with “This is my final post”.
And so it was.
For true to their word, SparkleLord never returned. But for those brief few days in September 2021, he (or she) was the epicenter of the Bigfooty universe.
Was SparkleLord a legitimate insider or a clever fraud? The jury has remained forever out – as whilst the hit rate on statements made was only fair, some that turned out to be spot-on were quite remarkable, suggesting at least a degree of inside knowledge.
The identity of SparkleLord remains the greatest unsolved mystery on Bigfooty.
And we live in hope that one day, they might return.
1.Bedford’s Broken B
A simple malfunctioning keyboard gave rise to perhaps the greatest drama series of the modern era, as bedford bravely navigated the harsh reality of life without a “b” key.
Each and every day, avid fans (myself included) would tune in to Bigfooty, eagerly awaiting the latest installment in the long running soap opera that was the bedford b key. Would it be fixed? Could bedford cope with daily Bigfooty life faced with such a handicap? Would Nick Blakey and Nick Larkey effectively become one and the same?
What unfolded here on Bigfooty was an epic drama of Shakespearean breadth, coupled with Monty-Pythonesque comedy elements.
But above all, bedford showed great courage and resilience – helped no doubt by the fact that there is no “b” in “St Scum” or “Rat”.
And finally, the “b” key got fixed – thereby providing the Truman Show-style uplifting finale that devoted viewers had yearned for.
In my view, a worthy no.1 on the list of the greatest Swans’ Bigfooty moments of all time.
And so please allow me to present below my list (from 5 to 1) of the greatest moments in Bigfooty History (circa 2019-2025), as observed by Dubai Quacker.
I'm sure there'll be some I've missed (and some that are controversial omissions, such as the Sam Reid drive-thru saga, Donza's unnervingly accurate weather forecasting, or the Judas Dawson melts) ... but its all in the eye of the beholder.
Comments welcome!
5.Game Day Thread (Round 21, 2024)
Game Day threads are truly things of wonder.
Full of frothing-at-the-mouth proclamations of emotion-charged “fact” that generally turn out to look cringeworthy and foolish 2 hours later, they are a true joy to behold.
If medals are to be handed out for the most unhinged (and thereby best) game day threads, the 2022 and 2024 GF threads would stand on the podium in the bronze and silver medal positions.
But it is the game day thread of August 2, 2024 that sits proudly above all others in the gold medal position. For it is the fateful day that Port Adelaide, led by the greatest coach in AFL history, Ken Hinkley, dispatched the Swans to the tune of 112 points.
And the melts were truly EPIC.
It all started out innocuously enough. Pre-game, optimistic statements abounded, such as an observation that Aaron Francis is underrated and that Heeney would be BOG. Indeed, with the news that Pete Ladhams was selected, strauchanie59 boldly announced the Swans would win by 82.
And then the game started.
By page 21 (of 47), the melts had truly set in. Warner, Gulden, Blakey, Mills and a few others were all to be delisted immediately. Horse was to be sacked.
By page 23, the club was to be folded. Curious but no doubt helpful suggestions involving trucks and chicken farms were being made. Aaron Francis wasn’t underrated any more.
By page 26, you wouldn’t allow your children to read what was being posted.
And it all went downhill from there.
But the sheer joy of venting along with so many other devoted Swans’ fans made that thread one of the greatest things ever to appear on Bigfooty.
If you ever want to reflect on raw human emotion and how it manifests, the game day thread of August 2, 2024 is for you.
In fact, it’d make a great PhD case-study for a budding doctor of psychology.
4.Bear & Bandicoot
Its origins are somewhat lost in the mists of time (perhaps only Bandicoot can regale us with true tales of its genesis), but the mythical Bear & Bandicoot has nonetheless become sacred to all devoted Swans Bigfooty Fans.
Got a beef with a fellow poster?
Take it to the Bear & Bandicoot.
Someone called you a campaigner for suggesting James Bell was unfairly treated at the selection table?
Take it to the Bear & Bandicoot.
Started a Sack Horse thread & been chastised by a mod for it?
Take it to the Bear & Bandicoot.
I don’t plan on opening a pub any time soon. But if I do, it’ll be called the Bear & Bandicoot.
And I sincerely hope to see you all there. Because the beers are on me, just flash your Bigfooty ID at the door.
3.Milestone Men
The Swans’ board is full of characters with a regal persona.
With caesar88 , Jewelsbon , KingV23 and even the hypnotoad (who may or may not turn into a prince if kissed), the list of royal posters is impressive. And thats not to mention the Queen of mods, Ticky009 herself.
And yet it was The King! who raised the bat to the adoring crowds in late 2024, as he reached the 150,000 post milestone. The significance of a Tasmanian having the literacy to achieve such a feat was not lost of Bigfooty and The King! was rightly lauded for the monumental achievement that it was.
Equating to a rate of circa 7,500 posts per annum, it is a record that surely could never be surpassed.
Or could it?
For it transpires that our very own LukeParkerno1 has indeed outdone The King! , with an awe-inspiring 195,000 posts over a decorated 20 year career on Bigfooty.
I will personally shout the bar at the Bear & Bandicoot when the 200,000 milestone is reached. Which by my calculations should be around mid-March.
2.Sparkelord
The annual Draft and Trade Hypotheticals thread is a joy to behold. Indeed, it is THE most eagerly anticipated annual thread, with a popularity and rabid fan base comparable only to Kurt Tippet – retired 2018.
And yet, for a few brief days in September 2021, the Draft and Trade Hypotheticals thread was sent into an unprecedented frenzy, courtesy of two cryptic and yet compelling posts by the mysterious SparkleLord.
The first post arrived out of the blue on the morning of September 7. It hit like a tsunami – containing statements that were either genuine insights from a club insider, or alternately, a brilliantly crafted pile of utter garbage.
George Hewett had been given permission to look elsewhere. Ditto Sam Reid. The quantum of compo we’d get for each was articulated, as was the Swan’s general trade philosophy. Parker was keen on Brisbane, but not Carlton, Essendon, or Gold Coast. Dawson was leaning towards staying, but only on a 2 year contract. Delistings had been finalized & there were no surprises coming. And so much more.
The board went into melt-down. It was the greatest grenade in Bigfooty history.
The frenzied board craved another post. More information. More insights! Who was @Sparkelord? When would he post again?!
But then – silence. Deafening, frustrating silence.
Until September 11, when a follow-up post hit the board.
Dawson was leaving (to Port), even though he was seen as important by both SA clubs, due to Rankine being the only gettable Sun. Hewett was going to Carlton, with Band 2 compo coming back in return. The Swans were philosophical about both leaving. Stephens, McLean and Wicks will all extend. Fox will stay, provided he isn’t offered a 2+1 deal elsewhere. Paddy McCartin was coming.
A number of other players of interest were named, the Swans “embrace the churn” philosophy was detailed and COLA was never coming back.
The September 11 post was signed off with “This is my final post”.
And so it was.
For true to their word, SparkleLord never returned. But for those brief few days in September 2021, he (or she) was the epicenter of the Bigfooty universe.
Was SparkleLord a legitimate insider or a clever fraud? The jury has remained forever out – as whilst the hit rate on statements made was only fair, some that turned out to be spot-on were quite remarkable, suggesting at least a degree of inside knowledge.
The identity of SparkleLord remains the greatest unsolved mystery on Bigfooty.
And we live in hope that one day, they might return.
1.Bedford’s Broken B
A simple malfunctioning keyboard gave rise to perhaps the greatest drama series of the modern era, as bedford bravely navigated the harsh reality of life without a “b” key.
Each and every day, avid fans (myself included) would tune in to Bigfooty, eagerly awaiting the latest installment in the long running soap opera that was the bedford b key. Would it be fixed? Could bedford cope with daily Bigfooty life faced with such a handicap? Would Nick Blakey and Nick Larkey effectively become one and the same?
What unfolded here on Bigfooty was an epic drama of Shakespearean breadth, coupled with Monty-Pythonesque comedy elements.
But above all, bedford showed great courage and resilience – helped no doubt by the fact that there is no “b” in “St Scum” or “Rat”.
And finally, the “b” key got fixed – thereby providing the Truman Show-style uplifting finale that devoted viewers had yearned for.
In my view, a worthy no.1 on the list of the greatest Swans’ Bigfooty moments of all time.
Last edited:
