Trapped in the closet Pt 183

[Bowski]

Flicking through the channels last night I come across an R.Kelly track shit song about how he's trapped in the closet of a married woman when the husband comes home.
He does that sing-talk thing the entire clip, very forgettable but then at the bottom of the screen it says coming up pts 2 through 13.
Now I dont care for the mans music but I was reminded of the south park episode were he sings to Cruise in the Closet.
30 minutes later I can easily say I have heard the worst song of all time.
He sing talks the entire thing, the music does not change at all and it has got to be the most Brain achingly retarted lyrics I have ever heard "I swallow spit- this is some crazy shit"

I wont go into the story but theres a Midget, a gay priest, a crooked cop, a white thrash heffer and a guy named Tron....****ing TRON!

While I may seem pissed off now it was the funniest thing i have ever seen, mainly because there wasnt an ounce of humour in it.

Has anyone else seen this abomination?

 

[anti.]

yeah its been around for ages.

its not really a song either, its sort've like a feature film track. going over and over and over and over and over.

its the worst and best thing ever at the same time. good for a laugh.

 

[scarecrow2k1]

He has them as skits on his albums from time to time, I think his last one had 5 parts, then he makes videos for them. They get more ridiculous as they go. Good to watch for the shear stupidity of it

 

[bragg]

Weird Al Yankovich has done a parody of it pure gold !!! not sure where to get it I saw it at a friends house and had tears from laughing so hard

 

[Corrosion]

Weird Al Yankovich has done a parody of it pure gold !!! not sure where to get it I saw it at a friends house and had tears from laughing so hard

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmGVYki-oyQ

GOLD!

 

[SunKing]

Heard this on Spicks and Specks and was lmao! Was wondering who sang/spoke it.

Falls into the so bad it's fn hilarious category

 

[anti.]

heres what buddyhead said about trapped in the closet......

R Kelly
Trapped In The Closet
The first time we watched this dvd, our initial reaction in the opening minutes was so stupefying, that we were certain this would be going on our “worst of” list. 20 minutes later, we were so enthralled with the lunacy, we didn’t know what to think anymore. By the end, we were more confident about it going on our “best of” list than anything else that was released in 2005. Sure, it’s not a conventional “album”, (it happens to be on the dvd format) but it is an album lengths worth of music, even if it is just a verse extending for over half an hour. Anyway, we urge everybody to experience this phenomenon for themselves, and for those who have been foolish enough so far as to not experience this dvd, let us outline the 7 stages you will go through while watching this “musical”. (that's what R calls it!) 1) DISBELIEF
Noooo ****kking wayyyy… This dramatic cartoon of a douche drinker actually spent time making this music and accompanying video, and then sat back, looked at his posse, pussy, and ball licking staff (not his dick) and said, “**** yeah”. I know, crazy.
2) ANGER
What? Is he ****ing insane? Was everyone afraid to tell this ******** what a colossal dong he is? This is a “musical”? It's the same verse over and over! The fact that he ends a verse by singing the word midget (with delay) with a serious look on his face, is a slap in the dick to all citizens the world over!!!
3) INCLUSION
“Wow! The preacher is… NO. Ohhh, watch out girl!… It would be the white girl that's…” It's like watching a horror movie. You just start talking to the screen.
4) ADMIRATION
I can't believe he did this. I mean this thing is impossible. Inconceivable. Takes balls though. I mean yeah, he's nuttier than a Snickers bar with 25% more, but… ya gotta hand it to him.
5) BLISS
I love this thing. It's hilarious, entertaining, humiliating, uplifting, and as ******ed as the Special Olympics, but not on purpose. That means it's REAL my friends.
6) RAPTURE
Go on, talk about it. Tell people, it's OK. Know what? Buy it, and give it to someone. Share it with your friends and loved ones. Give a little something back, ya know?
7) SHAME
I feel dirty. It won't wash off in the shower. I wanna watch it again… and again… and…
With the same conviction that almost got him jailed, R Kelly genuinely believes this is his best work. Arguing with him about it would be like trying to convince OJ he’s guilty… he has convinced himself that is what the reality is. How can you not admire the certitude here?! Imagine a scenario thousands of years from now, after our archaic ways of life are long forgotten, just maybe the only artifact that survives for future civilizations to examine and study is this lone dvd. Just imagine the levels of ball-trippage they’re gonna think we were on!

 

[Vaple]

Bump.

When this creation first came out I was confused and concerned for R.Kelly but as the years go by I appreciate it so much more. Is it time we start accepting that this was an important moment in music history? It is captivating.