Family & Relationships Wedding Etiquette

[NSWCROW]

Had a bet with a mates missus ( power fan ) in 97 over who'd finish higher that year for a bottle of Beam.
Well she hadn't paid up by the week after the 97 GF when they got married , so i " claimed " a bottle from their wedding booty.

What's the etiquette ??

 

[Catfish Alley]

They should definitely send you thank you note for taking the Beam. You did them a favor.

 

[sabre_ac]

There needs to be certain amount of compromise I think here.

1. If the invite only mentions the parents, that is the intention
2. Any request for clarification is a request to bring the children which I think the bride and groom should oblige.
3 Any additional guests brought to wedding in excess of those on the invite implies a larger outlay on the gift.

If your going to bring 2 extra mouths which require two extra seats then your gift should reflect this. Failure to do this is extreme tightness and should be noted.

I definitely agree with you pay what you roughly think the meal would cost, which does not take into account all the fringe benefits like band, venue etc. It's better not to go at all than be tight.

Anything short of an open bar is a joke, providing food is required if you expect the reception to go into the night.

Are there actual couples that make a profit? Surely not intentionally..

 

[Catfish Alley]

Open bar seems to be getting rare. I've heard of lots of weddings lately where it's a toonie bar ($2 drinks).

What's the etiquette on idiots that turn up to your wedding in a t-shirt on thongs?? I had that happen at my wedding. Should have turfed the guy out.

 

[sabre_ac]

Open bar seems to be getting rare. I've heard of lots of weddings lately where it's a toonie bar ($2 drinks).

Surely most people would pay a gift premium for the convenience of a open bar, especially the ladies so they can cut down on the size of their clutch or whatever accessory they choose.

What's the etiquette on idiots that turn up to your wedding in a t-shirt on thongs?? I had that happen at my wedding. Should have turfed the guy out.

In every group of mates there is that one who is a constant threat of making a scene, do you speak to them beforehand or just leave them off the invite list. The invite list is the only real thing I'd lose sleep over.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Surely most people would pay a gift premium for the convenience of a open bar, especially the ladies so they can cut down on the size of their clutch or whatever accessory they choose.

In every group of mates there is that one who is a constant threat of making a scene, do you speak to them beforehand or just leave them off the invite list. The invite list is the only real thing I'd lose sleep over.

It just seems to be the more common thing here in Canada. Not sure if it's like that back in Australia too. At least $2 for a beer, wine or spirit is pretty cheap I guess.

The guy at my wedding was just some boyfriend of an old friend of my wifes. Had never met him before. Was annoying but he pretty much kept to himself on a back table anyway.

 

[BotsMaster]

Just don't miss a Grand Final because of a wedding.

 

[Marklar_33]

Just don't miss a Grand Final because of a wedding.

There's only 1 person I know left that I'd be obliged to miss any event for to attend their wedding, bit he's only 10 so I've got time! Everyone else knows I won't be there on GF day

 

[Catfish Alley]

Everyone else knows I won't be there on GF day

What if the wedding isn't until 6pm or so?

 

[Marklar_33]

What if the wedding isn't until 6pm or so?

Well, I did knock back attending a good mates engagement on GF night last year...

The 150kms travel was a factor

 

[Run n Spread]

Just don't miss a Grand Final because of a wedding.

There is always someone somewhere that is stupid enough to do it. (Then wonders why others are surprisingly pissed off all of a sudden).

 

[Catfish Alley]

A wedding on Grand Final day with a big-screen and open bar would be awesome!

until my wife found out...

 

[Run n Spread]

What if the wedding isn't until 6pm or so?

Game finishes at about 5 15. That leaves the Norm Smith, celebrations, after match chat so things don't wrap up till about 6 anyway. Either way most people just want to enjoy a fun day watching the footy and enjoy themselves. Not be hassled/bothered getting ready and going to a wedding.

 

[Scotland]

There needs to be certain amount of compromise I think here.

1. If the invite only mentions the parents, that is the intention
2. Any request for clarification is a request to bring the children which I think the bride and groom should oblige.
3 Any additional guests brought to wedding in excess of those on the invite implies a larger outlay on the gift.

1. Surely the implied intention is the other way around. I remember being invited to stuff as a family growing up, and I remember my parents being invited to stuff without kids. If I wanted to invite someone's kids to a wedding I would make sure the invitation read 'Dear Jack, Jill and Jaxon, Tamieka, Da-shawn etc.' or whatever the **** kids get named these days.

2. If I had kids and received an invite to 'Dear Mr & Mrs Scotland' only, I would assume the kids weren't invited and would leave it at that. The wedding couple are under no obligation to allow guests to bring children if the guests ask. What happens if long lost Catholic cousin decides he wants to bring his army of brainwashed kiddies along? IMO the only time it is appropriate to ask if you can bring someone to a wedding is if you have a serious partner that the bride/groom may not know. If you have a serious partner that the bride and groom do know and get a single invite only that's another etiquette dilemma altogether.

3. If Mr & Mrs Sabre and little Sabre are invited to a wedding I don't think the bridge and groom will expect any more in terms of gift than if they invite just Mr & Mrs Sabre.

 

[Catfish Alley]

I think the problem is that a lot of people are expecting family to be rational.

 

[dbcrow]

Personally, I don't care if my kids are invited. Sometimes it's nice to enjoy a night out without them.

And Dad can muck about a bit if he wants (within reason).

 

[sabre_ac]

1. Surely the implied intention is the other way around. I remember being invited to stuff as a family growing up, and I remember my parents being invited to stuff without kids. If I wanted to invite someone's kids to a wedding I would make sure the invitation read 'Dear Jack, Jill and Jaxon, Tamieka, Da-shawn etc.' or whatever the **** kids get named these days.

2. If I had kids and received an invite to 'Dear Mr & Mrs Scotland' only, I would assume the kids weren't invited and would leave it at that. The wedding couple are under no obligation to allow guests to bring children if the guests ask. What happens if long lost Catholic cousin decides he wants to bring his army of brainwashed kiddies along? IMO the only time it is appropriate to ask if you can bring someone to a wedding is if you have a serious partner that the bride/groom may not know. If you have a serious partner that the bride and groom do know and get a single invite only that's another etiquette dilemma altogether.

3. If Mr & Mrs Sabre and little Sabre are invited to a wedding I don't think the bridge and groom will expect any more in terms of gift than if they invite just Mr & Mrs Sabre.

I'm a little confused, if you don't want kids is it enough to just invite the parents or do you have to say no kids?

If your going to invite or bring people in excess to the invite you should increase the gift.

I've seen wedding where kids were a great addition at the ceremony and the wedding itself, everyone likes to see the kids dance. They will get tired and grumpy at which point they are the parents problem, you'd just have to hope the parents are strong enough to stop the kids from dominating the day/night. Why you would bring babies I'll never know, especially ones that cry through the night. Some parents find it impossible to be separated, that or they have very little else going on in their life.

 

[The Passenger]

A wedding on Grand Final day with a big-screen and open bar would be awesome!

until my wife found out...

is there any possibility there would be a chick out there up for this? wedding thing at 1, go to open bar from 2-6 to watch the game, reception at 7, more free piss....

or you could just save yourself the hassle and do it on another day i guess.

 

[ThePezDispenser]

Pretty big bump. Got some reading to do!

After my own wedding and a few of my mates' it seems a lot of people have very differing etiquette when it comes to weddings.

 

[Gasometer]

Pretty big bump. Got some reading to do!

After my own wedding and a few of my mates' it seems a lot of people have very differing etiquette when it comes to weddings.

The initial OP was extraordinary...I cant even remember how it all turned out on the Wedding Day.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

is there any possibility there would be a chick out there up for this? wedding thing at 1, go to open bar from 2-6 to watch the game, reception at 7, more free piss....

or you could just save yourself the hassle and do it on another day i guess.

I'd be happy with that.
A big, stressful wedding is not my idea of a good time. The less 'bride' duty I have to do the better.

 

[Mindtraveller]

is there any possibility there would be a chick out there up for this? wedding thing at 1, go to open bar from 2-6 to watch the game, reception at 7, more free piss....

or you could just save yourself the hassle and do it on another day i guess.

In 2010 with the draw, they had a segment on SEN about it. A few were getting TV's if I remember correctly. If they planned it on GF day there would be a reason

 

[Mancey]

Kids are great at weddings, but its always a good idea for the hosts to put something on for them to keep them occupied.

A few of the ones i have been to recently handed out activity packs for the kids full of colouring books, puzzles etc. One had a bouncy castle, barely saw the kids all night

 

[Ahern2Boof]

Only ever been to two weddings. One planned, one was a surprise wedding disguised as a joint birthday party (the two almost shared a birthday).

 

[ThePezDispenser]

Weddings Sunday through Thursday are just horrible. With Fridays the bride and groom are saving about 20% but costing the majority of their guests a sick or annual leave day. I don't think you should be burdening guests to take a day off. In saying that a long weekend is always good.

Therefore weddings must be on a Saturday or at the very least the day before a PH.

We paid for the bridesmaids dresses and earings as well as buying (i can't justify hiring suits) the guys suits. We asked them to be a part of it as an honored as they were I don't think they should be forced into buying their own clothes for the day that you pick out for them.

I was always under the impression for presents you're looking at ~$100 per person, more if you're closer to the bride and groom, less if you have to travel and pay for accommodation.

Presents and generosity seems to mostly come back to culture, Europeans tend to offer far more with presents. Whilst you'll always have that friend or family member who is surprisingly generous.

On that note we didn't receive gifts from two guests, one struggling for work, so pretty understandable, it was good for them just to be there. The other was a mate of mine from Mexico. We're pretty close, to the point of where I'm probably his closest mate in Australia. So I'm not sure if this is just a cultural thing or not.