- Jun 7, 2015
- 1,289
- 4,903
- AFL Club
- West Coast
Round 11- West Coast versus Western Bulldogs
Saturday May 28 at 7:00 PM.
Optus Stadium
Weather forecast: Who cares?
I still remember the day the world stopped turning. As we all watched in horror on live TV, a symbol of all that was righteous and good crashed in a heap, brought down by a bearded fanatic with hatred in his heart. Fortunately, Peter Sumich survived being throttled into unconsciousness by Danny Southern without suffering brain damage.
Yep, totally fine!
Still, I've never forgiven those Bulldog swine and neither should you.
Can we get belated revenge this week? Yeah, nah. Let's take a not-at-all deep dive into why!
The Season So Far
You've all seen it. Thanks to a perfect storm of bad luck and bad management, our 2022 campaign could best be described as a dumpster fire hit by a derailed train while an onlooking hobo's suspenders break, causing his pants to fall around his ankles. You know things aren't going well when everyone's hyped for the mid-season draft, AKA a trip to the AFL's Reject Shop.
The Western Bulldogs game plan this year has been built on fast, dynamic football, with their elite midfielders streaming forward in waves before shanking all their shots at goal into the crowd. That last bit was an unusual strategy that saw them slump to 3-5 after round 8, but they’ve slowly begun to build form in the last few weeks. A big percentage boost here, and the Bulldog's chances of losing another grand final to Melbourne are still very much alive.
Eagles Forwards vs Bulldogs Defenders
It's been a bleak season for our once-feared attack. Josh Kennedy is so old he doesn't lose his feet in a contest anymore, he has a fall. Liam Ryan seems to be drawing inspiration from club legend John Worsfold. Not by showing leadership or anything, he's just stopped kicking goals and tries to flatten everyone instead. The only one of our AA forwards not injured, Jack Darling, looks hopelessly bereft of confidence.
A Bulldogs back line led by a failed cricketer and a bunch of guys named Bailey can sometimes struggle to contain elite key forwards. Sadly, that's unlikely to be a problem for them this week, while their run off halfback might be a very big one for us.
Eagles Midfield vs Bulldogs Midfield
Sweet Jesus, this is not ideal.
With Shuey and Yeo perma-injured, Kelly and Redden in mediocre form, and Gaff's descent into abject crapulence, it's up to West, Clark and Naish to lead the good fight against Bontempelli, Macrae, Treloar, Dunkley and Liberatore. Our young mids have tried hard and shown some promise, but all the synergy in the world won't save the poor bastards this week.
Expect the most ferocious midfield competition to be between Bulldogs players for Brownlow votes. To make matters even worse, Tim English is likely to return from injury to lead the ruck. The concern isn't that he'll hurt us on the field, it’s that our recruiters will bail him up in the Optus carpark and offer $2 million a year until 2035.
The West Coast board preparing their pitch
Eagles Defenders vs Bulldogs Forwards
One real positive of 2022 has been the McGovernaissance. After a couple of years of injury and indifferent form, the sloppiest rig to ever be a four-time AA has battled against the odds as his teammates explore exciting new depths of haplessness around him. Our next best defender has been 34-year-old-and-injured Shannon Hurn, which is suboptimal.
If the Dogs' midfield really gets hold of us, it could be a huge night for Aaron Naughton. At least that'll annoy any Freo fans who remember they overlooked him in the draft. Enjoy Rory Lobb, losers!
Can you say anything positive at all, you miserable bastard?
Even amidst our extraordinary suckitude, green shoots of hope are emerging. Jamieson has gone from delist fodder to a guy who might just make it, and he's looked absolutely resplendent the whole time.
Like an emaciated lion
Bailey Williams is actually starting to win a few taps. Isiah Winder's forward craft must be making his dad smug as hell, while a confident-looking West is bringing the dare and swerveability we so badly need.
Maybe these guys will make it, maybe they won't, but it's enough to keep me watching every minute of this cursed season. Well, that, and it's a good excuse to get hammered on Sunday afternoons.
It's shitshows like 2022 that make years like 2018 all the sweeter. For now, let's just hope our kids bring some excitement, our veterans keep their dignity intact, and we fold the club as elegantly as possible.
Dogs by plenty.
Saturday May 28 at 7:00 PM.
Optus Stadium
Weather forecast: Who cares?
I still remember the day the world stopped turning. As we all watched in horror on live TV, a symbol of all that was righteous and good crashed in a heap, brought down by a bearded fanatic with hatred in his heart. Fortunately, Peter Sumich survived being throttled into unconsciousness by Danny Southern without suffering brain damage.
Yep, totally fine!
Still, I've never forgiven those Bulldog swine and neither should you.
Can we get belated revenge this week? Yeah, nah. Let's take a not-at-all deep dive into why!
The Season So Far
You've all seen it. Thanks to a perfect storm of bad luck and bad management, our 2022 campaign could best be described as a dumpster fire hit by a derailed train while an onlooking hobo's suspenders break, causing his pants to fall around his ankles. You know things aren't going well when everyone's hyped for the mid-season draft, AKA a trip to the AFL's Reject Shop.
The Western Bulldogs game plan this year has been built on fast, dynamic football, with their elite midfielders streaming forward in waves before shanking all their shots at goal into the crowd. That last bit was an unusual strategy that saw them slump to 3-5 after round 8, but they’ve slowly begun to build form in the last few weeks. A big percentage boost here, and the Bulldog's chances of losing another grand final to Melbourne are still very much alive.
Eagles Forwards vs Bulldogs Defenders
It's been a bleak season for our once-feared attack. Josh Kennedy is so old he doesn't lose his feet in a contest anymore, he has a fall. Liam Ryan seems to be drawing inspiration from club legend John Worsfold. Not by showing leadership or anything, he's just stopped kicking goals and tries to flatten everyone instead. The only one of our AA forwards not injured, Jack Darling, looks hopelessly bereft of confidence.
A Bulldogs back line led by a failed cricketer and a bunch of guys named Bailey can sometimes struggle to contain elite key forwards. Sadly, that's unlikely to be a problem for them this week, while their run off halfback might be a very big one for us.
Eagles Midfield vs Bulldogs Midfield
Sweet Jesus, this is not ideal.
With Shuey and Yeo perma-injured, Kelly and Redden in mediocre form, and Gaff's descent into abject crapulence, it's up to West, Clark and Naish to lead the good fight against Bontempelli, Macrae, Treloar, Dunkley and Liberatore. Our young mids have tried hard and shown some promise, but all the synergy in the world won't save the poor bastards this week.
Expect the most ferocious midfield competition to be between Bulldogs players for Brownlow votes. To make matters even worse, Tim English is likely to return from injury to lead the ruck. The concern isn't that he'll hurt us on the field, it’s that our recruiters will bail him up in the Optus carpark and offer $2 million a year until 2035.
The West Coast board preparing their pitch
Eagles Defenders vs Bulldogs Forwards
One real positive of 2022 has been the McGovernaissance. After a couple of years of injury and indifferent form, the sloppiest rig to ever be a four-time AA has battled against the odds as his teammates explore exciting new depths of haplessness around him. Our next best defender has been 34-year-old-and-injured Shannon Hurn, which is suboptimal.
If the Dogs' midfield really gets hold of us, it could be a huge night for Aaron Naughton. At least that'll annoy any Freo fans who remember they overlooked him in the draft. Enjoy Rory Lobb, losers!
Can you say anything positive at all, you miserable bastard?
Even amidst our extraordinary suckitude, green shoots of hope are emerging. Jamieson has gone from delist fodder to a guy who might just make it, and he's looked absolutely resplendent the whole time.
Like an emaciated lion
Bailey Williams is actually starting to win a few taps. Isiah Winder's forward craft must be making his dad smug as hell, while a confident-looking West is bringing the dare and swerveability we so badly need.
Maybe these guys will make it, maybe they won't, but it's enough to keep me watching every minute of this cursed season. Well, that, and it's a good excuse to get hammered on Sunday afternoons.
It's shitshows like 2022 that make years like 2018 all the sweeter. For now, let's just hope our kids bring some excitement, our veterans keep their dignity intact, and we fold the club as elegantly as possible.
Dogs by plenty.
