Media WEST COAST WONDERS TRIBUTE TO GRAND UNCLE HORRACE

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Dec 11, 2019
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Shake Down the Thunder

Honouring the passing of the Champion of the Wonders Grand Uncle Horrace.

Vale Mac Toirneach*



Blood & thunder.

When GUH decided on something, someone or team, he was fiercely loyal, adamantly, completely, furiously, savagely committed.
He bled for the Wonders as he would bleed for his beloved Bloods. Never once being swayed by entreaties to join another club, it would have never enter his mind that he was a turncoat, a fair-weather friend or anything but a Wonder through and through. He bought his heart to the team and there it stayed, through thick and thin, come hell or high water, it was forever and a day to the end of time.


Roaring thunder.

There was never any doubt that if you were his team mate he cared for you as part of his team. He’d prod your sensitivities, try and get your goat, have a laugh at your expense, testing the limits, forever testing the limits of character, because he could, because he needed to know the depth and breadth of your character and capacity to go over the top for the team, where you held the line. Standards were important to be upheld and Horrie had to know what standards you wore because whatever else outside of the team pm he was going in to bat for you because you were his team and he had your back.
GUH would be infuriatingly obstinate if he disagreed on something and never fail to further his point, he relished flexing his argumentative muscles. Muscles that were honed by repetition of experience, backed up by the wealth of knowledge in life and passionate engagement. After the unleashing of these iron man muscles and having had his fun exercising them on you there was his handshake, either a private message or a public one, without fail the handshake would be there in some form or another. He loved nothing better than a contest of wills the opportunity to have a stoush and when the dust settled he was there to clean up after himself, shake on it and move on to the next battle just over the horizon.

Grand Uncle Horace’s history at the Wonders, saw his debut in season S28 where he quickly rose through the ranks in the Sweet Football Association. In just his first season he was selected in the All-SFA, earning a spot in the forward pocket. He was awarded with the Wonders rookie of theseason award, the same award now named in his honour. On the field he won the Wonders best and fairest in season 31. Off the field, Grand Uncle Horace had an immense impact spending a lot of time in the clubs leadership group and was also awarded the best clubman award on two occasions. In the opening round of season 38, Grand Uncle Horace will play his 138th and final game in the league.


Cooking up a storm.

The perpetual wheels within wheels, motion of Horrie’s mind never ceased to amaze and entertain. He had stories, he held histories, he made connections, he delighted in sharing whatever esoteric, exotic or outlandish thoughts he had, could have or should have, on the issue at hand all the better to have a rich conversation. All the better to explore, mine and crafting the next gold nugget, to coin the next turn of phrase, creating the currency that he could then spend generously treating good company to feast at his table. A side serve of ‘the meat shield’ an extra helping of ‘Flogstradamus’ Pass the snorfle. A smorgasbord of chariot driven, toga wearing, bathwater draining and the wielding of rapier wit and banter. All of this was proudly and boldly put before you to enjoy the partaking of. The more you enjoyed the more satisfied and pleased he was and then he’d return to the kitchen inspired to cook up something else, to tinker with a recipe, to plan the next dish, book the next entertainment. His passion was the mutual sharing of the feast of life.The pantry was always full and the welcome to the table warm, pull up a chair, sit yourself down, pass the plate and fill your glass for this delectable repast to share and discuss and we have all the time in the world to partake. No guest, once sat at Horries table wanted this rich feasting to end.

‘May you always find three welcomes in life: in a garden during summer, at a hearth during winter,
and in the hearts of friends throughout all your years.’

Irish blessing



The quiet after storm.

Grand Uncle Horrace was a force to be reckoned with a straight talking, staunch team member. A great and valued friend and foe across the Big Footy site and Qootysphere. The silence of his absence is echoing in our hearts, in the Wonders team room and across the site far and wide. Valued memories held by all of the Big Man fill the space of absence. The memories, the values, the passion Grand Uncle Horrie instilled in the Wonders team remain alive as he is in our hearts and minds, we are thankful to have shared a part of his wonderful life.

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In honour of our departed Wonders Champion Grand Uncle Horrace the Wonders Rookie of the Season Award will hence forth be named the
Grand Uncle Horace Award.
'The Horrie’




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‘Life is the fire that burns and the sun that gives light. Life is the wind and the rain and the thunder
in the sky. Life is matter and earth, what is and what is not, and what beyond is in eternity.’ Seneca



* Irish Gaelic translation ‘Son of Thunder’
 
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Please Join the Wonders to Celebrate Grand Uncle Horrace
when Horrie pulls on the boots for his last game of Qooty in the Sweet FA
on
Sunday 28/7/24
at 5pm
EST

All Welcome


 
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Grand Uncle Horrace’s AKA’s


Horrie
Fos
Old Roman
Toga’d Terrorist
Master of the Chariot Drive By
Proprietor of ‘Toga Productions’
Nursing-home Terrorist / Union Agitator
Beacon of Fun & Misery
Count of Cold Contempt
Baron of Banter
Tripe Tsar
Anti Norf Lord
Button Pusher Extraordinaire
Norf Flog Baiter
Simperson Hater
Medicinal Madness Purveyor
Pratt Park Skeptic
Bleeding Swan
Bloodied52
 
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A short ride in a fast Chariot Driveby


Review of the Grand Uncle Horrace’s last weeks spent on Big Footy posting across all
boards.

So many posts, I have chosen the ones that show his essence, his humour, passions and his love for the BF community that shines through. GUH’s last ever message on BF was answering Pamcake’s question on the Wonders Team thread on 1/7/2024. The man bless him was kindness personified to the last.
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“How about watch the game instead of getting ink on your nose from champion data.” GUH 29/6/24

“Every team has fans that acknowledge the efforts of others. With the rarest of exceptions Carlton
fans are trolls both here and irl. I’m not sure why this is the case.” GUH 29/6/24

‘Pity our old friends like Headless sante sausageroll et al have not yet popped by to relive the Dees double loss.’ GUH 28/6/24

‘The idiots Brownless and Gaze have Ocker accents at parody levels. They are close to the Sports Bet voice over bloke who has the most reviled voice in Australia. (most reviled by me anyway)’ GUH 28/6/24

‘They are renowned geniacs at Norf’ GUH 27/6/24

‘If it was at the Litter Tray, the Cats would have a rough chance. At the G tho the Dons win this after a few scares.’ GUH 24/6/24

‘Aye. A place where most of the sharks live on land.’ On Portsea WW thread. GUH 23/6/24

‘What! I am an affable old fella” GUH 23/6/24

“Not sure where all this yap about the Bloods playing in the GF comes from. We are miles away from qualifying for top 4. That said we are playing some reasonable footym that most enjoy watching.” GUH 22/6/24

“Yep. The further talent dilution when TAS come in is not going to be good. Need less poor Melbourne clubs.’ GUH 22/6/24

"Headless said: Stiff not to poll!"
‘Hmmn… that sounds vaguely salacious.. at my age is that
1. Inappropriate ?
2. Improbable?
3. Something I should hide from the Widder Jane and I don’t mean the bespoke bourbon ?’ GUH 21/6/24

“… and sponge bath time.” GUH 21/6/24 In response to Jabba’s posting gif on medicine time

Worm4 said: ‘His abacus only dates back to 2001’
‘I wondered where my abacus was.
‘Why is it that Carlton has been the least successful Melbourne based Club this
Century?It is an indictment when Saints and nmfc fans point and laugh at Pratt Park.’ GUH 20/6/23

‘How could anyone hate Pants? Until this week I’d forgotten he was still in the SFA. Does he still post.i seem to remember his long suits were ‘happy to meet’ and ‘mice nelt’ which would be apt for that Damikey guy.’ GUH 19/6/23

‘What on earth is that Neanderthal Marsh captain of? Doubt he could captain a Bento Box.’ GUH 19/6/24

‘Why folks wish to skate on the thin ice of language or personal abuse or state the obvious about Carlton this Century or the chronic misfortunes of nmfc for umpteen generations is beyond me. Must the Bay is more visitable without the FITWit chap from the Pies.’
GUH 19/6/24 on circumventing the language filter Bay 13

Last long form diatribe, classic Horrie:
‘Oh hello. Having royally shafted Norf, (less than) Citizen Kane is now Hectoring the entire AFL.

The blithely ignorant Kane believes her job entails running 18 7-11 franchises, eating a lot of Crays and prawns (many raw) and laughing a lot. She does not have any interest or knowledge of the footy game but recognises her job does involve organising Adjudication. For this she has consulted with another bosses lackey in McBurney.

The Good Citizen of Docklands (sorry Brecht) and The Enemy of the People broke bread. Over a morning snack of a kilo jar of Beluga and several bottles of Bolly darling they discussed the vexed issue of Adjudication.

“What is wrong with the Trugo rules?” Asked Citizen Kane.
“That is a filthy workers game, started by Communist railway workers.” snapped the Enemy. “And we play a game called Vee Eff Ell.
We employ as umps lots of honest folk like venture capitalists, bankers, real estate agents and the entire sector of the Pell
family not already employed by the Catholic Church. Lately we have trialled Bont to ump himself. He always gets the right result.”

The two went on so long with the adjudication issue, morning tea drifted on to lunch and dinner. A fine time was had by both. Eventually they agreed the following Clubs would benefit from adjudication - Carlton, the Pies, Footscray, the Donnies (until the
Finals…boy did they laugh cruelly zackah ).

Norf however would suffer from adjudication. This was to be a smokescreen for the rule changes on drafting which included taking their choice of players from the four Northern Academies each year. In addition they were to pick up Gulden, Greene, Andrews, Anderson The meeting resolved that there were four field umpires and the game was called footy. The GF would be cancelled if Sydney lapped the other 17 teams but awarded to Carlton or Footscray. Was it the latters turn again?

Citizen Kane confessed over Port and Cigars her hero was Gina Hancock and she’d had lap band surgery in solidarity and her life ambition was to have her portrait and Gina’s painted together and entered in the Archibald.”
GUH Bay 13 19/6/24


Wonders Team PM Olympics team Discussion:
“Snorfle … rhythmic gymnastics. …. What we said was the Vatican’s method of family planning.”
&
“I really believe the competitors in artistic gym should have grenades tied to their ribbons and their beach balls filled with napalm, esp if they are American or play for the Drags.”
&
“I do like the idea of BallaratBulldog being a star at showjumping.”
GUH 19/6/24

Discussion about sports injuries in the Wonders Team Pm
‘Plateau fracture of the Tibia. Split length ways from knee to near ankle. Two and half days before operated on and they hectored up big time- left two screws gouging my knee cap and a bone infection… still meant to take anti biotics…but they stuffed my immune system. Still use a stick. Shoulder stuffed since thirteen, back and hip but standard for my age. Lots of facial and head injuries. KOd four times I sorta remember. Two king hits (once in a pub, the other playing footy - wasa hopeless player but apparently a rather
annoying one), hit accidentally with a bat and a boxing match they Should have stopped (was around 14).
Have some neurological issues, possibly compounded by CTE. Bod and brain are being left for testing and then students.’ GUH 17/6/24

“Hardly. I’ve only just conceded we should make the 8. I despise bathwater imbibing at my mob, worse than smack.
We are a punchers chance of making top two, but everything has to go right.” GUH Bay 13 16/6/24

“Can’t post as much nowadays. Trying to save energy for Finals. My mob of goals for the Prols heros look like they will make Finals and may enjoy some success.” GUH 13/6/24

‘Please use spellcheck. It helps your credibility when trying to be a snob. I’m sure our friends at … checks notes …. Collingwood will show you mercy.’ GUH 12/6/24

‘Oh, no-one minds Jabba. I actually think it ridiculous so many people have him on ignore. Sure he is fatuous and ignorant but he means well. If only that mean kid had not nicked his Kouta doll, things may have turned out better.
So give him a break.
Same goes for the rest of that terribly damaged Blues contingent.
Imagine being the butt of peoples jokes for a quarter of a century.
Even the seven North families have laughed at Carlton.” 12/6/24 GUH on ‘Who will be better in 2024? Carlton or Collingwood? Part 2’ thread

‘Go and split an infinitive!’ GUH 12/6/24


BAT ATTACK
And a couple of memorable quotes remembered by Horries great friend and sparring partner BlueAllThrough (BAT) of the Bombers.

"Is this a letter recognition exercise for BAT?
As his NDIS coordinator and literacy tutor, I am delighted to report improvement.
He can now recognise all letters in the alphabet.
We also reckon he has used 189 different words in posts he has made.
A different count has it at 345 but this counts words he copy and pasted (but without knowing the meaning)." GUH

"Hello again. It is GUH here from Toga Productions. There has been a great turn up of Bombers to cast for roles in the forthcoming hit, MeatShields the Musical: Pucker Up for Putin"

"Hello Wonders, Bombers, Chipmunk and other folk. I gather some great unwashed and ignored remarkably stupid urchins have been hanging about. I suggest you plonk them on ignore and do not engage.
Have fun adults." S33 GUH

"Dr BAT eh? Now there would be a fan of leeches! If doctorates were granted for the remarkably stoopid, he would lead the field.

Meanwhile it has been over a season since BAT chucked a Rohan and cost the Bombers a Premiership. The challenge for him is to play FF this week." GUH

"Bombers Hivemind" GUH



Thanks to BLUEALLTHRU and anyone else who has helped in this production.
 
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Wonderful tribute but awful news. I'll be forever thankful for his help.

A rare sort. Rest easy old boy.
Nice to see ya buddy. 🤘

Unfortunate circumstances though.

Another of Horrie’s collection …

 
Pam this tribute is beautifully done and befitting the great man.

RIP Horrie.
Thank you for that BAT and thank you again for your quotes. Glad you like it.
 
It was such a quality piece, I enjoyed it immensely. Horrie was one of a kind.
Worth the wait then. They threw away the recipe after they perfected our friend GUH. Missed terribly atm.
 

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A great qareer stirring the masses, we will miss your support Creepy Uncle Whore-ass and willingness to have a crack, then come back for more. Never one to shy away from battle, you sure tested the mettle of all who encountered you.

RIP you MeatShield botherer.
 
catching fire tribute GIF
 
Match thread #1540. 28/7/2024

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"I'll pass you now to our reporter on the spot Mr Mike Moore for this Frontline Special Sports edition, reporting on this momentous occasion in Sweet FA history
Over to you Mike"


Assembling now, the Sweet FA league players are lining up to form the guard of honour for this the 138th and final game of the West Coast Wonders champion Qooty player Grand Uncle Horrace.

On the Colosseum field, home ground of the West Coast Wonders, it's impressive to see all of the clubs, in their spotless heritage kits line up with their black arm bands in place to honour their great friend.

What a turn out it is here in the stadium, there are absolutely thousands here, it’s a sea of blue and gold.

Silence falls across the crowd now, as they wait for the proceedings to commence.
As the music begins...




And now as Grand Uncle Horrace comes into sight and out onto the ground leading the Wonders team, driving his trusty chariot and dressed in ceremonial toga, the crowd stands as one and ROARS.

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The Cheering of the crowd, chanting ‘HORRIE’'Horrie' is deafening, as Grand Uncle Horrace proceeds in a stately manner down this magnificent guard of honor waving to the crowd.
What a fitting tribute to the Grand Old Man of the Sweet FA league. They've done him proud, a superb spectacle to behold here at the Colosseum.

Well Done everyone, what a magnificent start to the game, best of luck to both the teams, we're in for some great Qooty now as we settle in.



This Broadcast is bought to you by Pamcake Productions with technical assistance of BlueAllThrough & Kilroy.
 
Beautiful tribute Pamcake1 and the Wonders 🫶🏻


Such sad news and a great loss for the SFA. 💔
What a cracking bloke, a legend if you will! I remember when I first came to the Sweet. I literally thought that GUH was a God around these parts BUT now the SFA has its very own angel.

Rest in peace sweet man, you’ll be sorely missed especially around the WW threads
😢
 

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Media WEST COAST WONDERS TRIBUTE TO GRAND UNCLE HORRACE

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