Opinion Worst commentators in your time

[eddie_punchclock]

I'll take WoWees all day over having to listen to Kelli Underwood. She is clearly #1 worst ever over many decades of commentators

 

[DERO]

Kelli’s voice is up there with waterboarding.

 

[Wahooti Fandango]

Luke Darcy.

 

[Mootsy]

my favourite commentary style would be something like this just because it raises the excitement level of watching a game if you have callers with character and a calling style, quick-fire, spittin' rhymes, good articulation, good flow, but i guess its considered old fashioned now, maybe, not sure, but its more exciting to my ears...part of it is also, just simply describing the play easily, and knowing the technical side of the game, or even pretending to. Notice and example here, "Side-steps Johnson, Drives to the lane, book it, now you see him, now you don't", with no hesitation the caller has good flow and follows up with a clever metaphor/versatile description to sum it up. So these are commentators who prepare, probably write out frameworks/ideas/quotes for games and clearly love doing it.

 

[Godzke]

My favourite commentator was Hird. Thought his character assassination of Scott "Proboscis" McLaren was an insightful piece of journalism worthy of a Pulitzer.

 

[Old Campaigner]

BT
And whoever came up with the “chisels the kick” and “flares the kick” turns of phrase. It’s all they ****ing use now

 

[Blind Turn]

Rex jumped the shark. Early days he was supremely entertaining. After years of listening to The Captain and the Major who operated at either end of the eloquence spectrum, along came Rex Hunt bellowing insanity at us through our speakers. Towards the end of his career his ramblings gave you no clue as to what was going on in the game. He went a long long way up his own arse. Yibbida yibbida.

 

[windyhill]

brereton. Awful.

 

[MattyB3150]

brereton. Awful.

Always find a way to bring himself into it while also mentioning the 80s and all of his premiership team mates and coaches

 

[thepokey]

Dwayne Russell, without question. He just yells all the time. He barely actually commentates, rather, just calls out the name of the player with the ball with nothing connecting it. He sounds weirdly angry all the time when I'm guessing he's going for lively/excited. Just absolutely grating to listen to.

 

[mike ross]

With Bruce, when we used to be good when he was in his prime as a commentator, he made it bloody exciting to watch.

But yeah he can be annoying. Especially when he used to ask questions during his commentary.

 

[eth-dog]

It'd be quicker to list the ones I like...

 

[yodellinhank]

I never like Drew Morphett when commentating footy, but for some reason I didn't mind his radio cricket commentary.

I don't want to continue the pile on and I stay quiet when it gets brought up, but not Kellie Underwood fan.

Both just seem see it and say it without much colour or life. I hear you about Underwood, as a good portion of her detractors are also seemingly misogynist. But she is genuinely bad. Your post has made me wonder what she'd be like commentating cricket, could also work.

 

[yodellinhank]

Rex jumped the shark. Early days he was supremely entertaining. After years of listening to The Captain and the Major who operated at either end of the eloquence spectrum, along came Rex Hunt bellowing insanity at us through our speakers. Towards the end of his career his ramblings gave you no clue as to what was going on in the game. He went a long long way up his own arse. Yibbida yibbida.

I used to listen to games a lot late '90s. Playing junior country footy in 2000, I listened to a few of our games on the bus on the way home from away games. Rex could really paint a picture of what was going on, you could visualise it through his words once you got used to the phrases. Used to be his strong point, sad to hear he lost it but probably unsurprising.

 

[Howard Moon]

Dwayne... King of the pre organised catch phrase, also has this weird upward infliction on the end of his yells which somehow sounds like he's telling you what's happening while asking a question at the same time

Darcy... Has an annoying habit of putting a ey on the end of everyone's name... Jakey stringer, kicks to sammey draper, onto zachey merrett.

Maher.. little nerd who loves the sound of his own voice, never stops to take a breath, just keeps going til it gets faster and more breathless til all the wordsjoinintoone. One eyed as hell too

Jobe... terrible, somehow manages to state the absolute obvious with words that don't fit

Quarters... One eyed peanut who shouldn't be allowed near a hawk call

Huddo, always keen to yell and create drama where there's none... Thirteen, THIRTEEN! he looks thirteen.

 

[Call Me Cake]

Luke Darcy.

Say that again

 

[raskolnikov]

Dwayne stinks, patronising AF.

Team 38 points down with 27 seconds to go kicks a goal “THEY'RE STILL IN THIS”

BT does that too.

 

[bombreys]

BT does that too.

While in the same breath saying ‘time is now the enemy’

 

[thebigboy]

Any ex-Geelong players doing special comments. Ling is painfully annoying & Selwood barely adds anything of interest in.

 

[DERO]

Both just seem see it and say it without much colour or life. I hear you about Underwood, as a good portion of her detractors are also seemingly misogynist. But she is genuinely bad. Your post has made me wonder what she'd be like commentating cricket, could also work.

It is hard not to appear misogynistic when stating that you don’t like her commentary because she is one of only a few females.

Sarah Jones, Kate Loughman, Abby Holmes are great. Sarah Jones is one of the best I reckon although none of them actually really call the games. I actually thought Daisy was pretty good too. She clearly understands the game.

 

[yodellinhank]

It is hard not to appear misogynistic when stating that you don’t like her commentary because she is one of only a few females.

Sarah Jones, Kate Loughman, Abby Holmes are great. Sarah Jones is one of the best I reckon although none of them actually really call the games. I actually thought Daisy was pretty good too. She clearly understands the game.

True. But it's also a bit like the Goodes thing. There is a section of the audience that are heaping it on for completely the wrong reason. Don't want to be joining in on it inadvertently and giving them a louder voice.

 

[P Money]

Derwayne. The worst. Doesn't understand HOW intonation works. PUTS emphasis ON entirely the wrong words in a SENTENCE!

 

[Howard Moon]

Derwayne. The worst. Doesn't understand HOW intonation works. PUTS emphasis ON entirely the wrong words in a SENTENCE!

That's that upward inclination at the end of phrases I was trying to describe, it ends up sounding like a shouted question rather than a comment

 

[Pweter]

Another annoying thing about Dwayne Russell, other than him thinking he's the next Dennis Cometti with his one liners, is you can tell he wants to be the voice for goal and/or mark of the year. It seems like almost every game he calls out immediately at the point of the mark or goal "that's mark/goal of the year". It doesn't even need to be an awesome mark/goal, anything slightly above average gets the call just in case.

 

[bombreys]

Any ex-Geelong players doing special comments. Ling is painfully annoying & Selwood barely adds anything of interest in.

I can’t watch Selwood chat to the kids on the sidelines for that Auskick player of the year thing.

I have to mute it or change the channel, it’s so cringy.

Granted it would be a bit of a tough gig, it just makes me squirm in my seat.