Opinion Worst (or funniest) Melbourne wins you've seen

[Scythe94]

As requested by PerfectFooty

First nomination is 2019 vs Gold Coast (Round 8): low scoring, atrocious footy with a comically thrilling ending. Down by 6 points against the eventual wooden spooners with 26 seconds left, Marty Hore

27

Marty Hore

Age

28

Ht

190cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

15.6

4star

K

10.4

4star

HB

5.2

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

1.5

3star

MG

263.1

4star

No current season stats available

D

18.2

5star

K

12.8

5star

HB

5.4

4star

M

6.8

5star

T

1.8

4star

MG

282.2

5star

punches one through from 50. Melbourne then win the clearance via a left-footed Gawn hack, Hunt goes kamikaze in a marking contest on the 50, Harmes picks up the loose ball, chokes the kick like you could not imagine, McDonald drops a sitter at the top of the goalsquare, then hacks it off the deck into the post with one second left to give Melbourne one of the funniest and most undeserving wins in recent history.

God this was an awful game. I've always had a soft spot for it though, decided I needed to go out and get very drunk afterwards, which turned out to be the night I met my partner. Thanks Melbourne, your ineptitude changed my life

 

[Scythe94]

There's about 10 Carlton games that belong in this thread, but I'll let someone else have a go first

 

[Demon Attack]

That Suns game can't be beaten. There was a shit GWS win early doors too with I think Hogan and Watts kicking goals in the last too run away with it?

 

[PerfectFooty]

My first nomination before i decide to go through a list would be Round 16 2015 Vs Brisbane. It's one of the worst wins I've seen live. I took a friend who wasn't into footy but enjoyed some previous games, and he thought it was yikes

 

[Young Redleg]

Basically all of our recent wins over North have featured an appalling standard of footy. Even our 90 point win over them in Round 7 last year was boring as hell.

 

[stEdy]

Record breaking 12 goal last quarter against bottom of the bottom GWS in 2013.

We were about 20 points down at 3QTR and the MCG felt like being at a funeral of an old friend. Then all of our spuds caught on fire - Pickles Evans in particular ran wild. Setanta Ohailpin kicked 5 at the other end.

Won by 40 points but it was still terrible

 

[Seattle Mariners]

A few from 2023:

The North win at Hobart last year was a disgrace. Fancy being 5 goals down to a team that isn't much better than peak Fitzroy or GWS early days.

Couldn't get a smile of out the mid season Carlton yawn.

The Adelaide game was unsatisfying in that we kept getting out to a 3-4 goal lead and they kept pegging us back. It was entertaining though.

GC win - I was almost angry when the siren went, just for the fact that we kept going to sleep all night after gaining a bit of control. I suspect a win against Hardwick up there going forward will be a well earned 4 points.

 

[Young Redleg]

Our two point win against Gold Coast in 2016 deserves a mention. We only won that game on the back of a heroic performance from Jack Watts and Tom Lynch missing a set shot just before the siren.

Come to think of it, almost all our performances against Gold Coast over the past 10 years have been hard to watch. Miraculously we end up winning all of them.

 

[PerfectFooty]

Record breaking 12 goal last quarter against bottom of the bottom GWS in 2013.

We were about 20 points down at 3QTR and the MCG felt like being at a funeral of an old friend. Then all of our spuds caught on fire - Pickles Evans in particular ran wild. Setanta Ohailpin kicked 5 at the other end.

Won by 40 points but it was still terrible

It still bothers me now, that Neeld as a coach has his name in Melbourne's all time best scoring last quarter in our 160 year history, along with some spuds that played that day

I only remember being excited when Mitch Clark had a buddy like run on the wing before injuring himself for the season

 

[mrmonkey]

Record breaking 12 goal last quarter against bottom of the bottom GWS in 2013.

We were about 20 points down at 3QTR and the MCG felt like being at a funeral of an old friend. Then all of our spuds caught on fire - Pickles Evans in particular ran wild. Setanta Ohailpin kicked 5 at the other end.

Won by 40 points but it was still terrible

I was going to mention this game. I didn't go because I had to go to my nephews birthday. Remember listening to the game on the way and it was looking embarrassing. Then gws bounced away in the 3rd quarter. Some essendon supporter at the party giving me sympathy which is a real low point as a supporter, would rather an opposition supporter give me shit. Anyway I remember checking the updates on my phone seeing the goals pile on quickly. Was good viewing but why we were in that position in the first place. Reckon it saved neeld his job for a few more weeks.

 

[PerfectFooty]

Our two point win against Gold Coast in 2016 deserves a mention. We only won that game on the back of a heroic performance from Jack Watts and Tom Lynch missing a set shot just before the siren.

Come to think of it, almost all our performances against Gold Coast over the past 10 years have been hard to watch. Miraculously we end up winning all of them.

This one would have been by number one live if we hadn't spudded out a at least somewhat interesting finish with the suns

 

[Demon Attack]

In hindsight that Swans belting during Baileyball where Bruce said "the Dees are going to be something"

 

[mrmonkey]

In hindsight that Swans belting during Baileyball where Bruce said "the Dees are going to be something"

It's funny because two years later the swans were Premiers and melbourne were a basket case.

I honestly think bailey wasn't a bad coach in retrospect, the list was pretty ordinary but had some fun wins. We finally have a decent team now but play some boring footy.

 

[Young Redleg]

It's funny because two years later the swans were Premiers and melbourne were a basket case.

I honestly think bailey wasn't a bad coach in retrospect, the list was pretty ordinary but had some fun wins. We finally have a decent team now but play some boring footy.

Our side under Bailey was basically an inferior version of our 2017/18 team. We'd get hammered when we were off but we looked like a million bucks when we were on.

 

[Scythe94]

Record breaking 12 goal last quarter against bottom of the bottom GWS in 2013.

We were about 20 points down at 3QTR and the MCG felt like being at a funeral of an old friend. Then all of our spuds caught on fire - Pickles Evans in particular ran wild. Setanta Ohailpin kicked 5 at the other end.

Won by 40 points but it was still terrible

That Pickles last quarter was unreal hahaha

 

[Seattle Mariners]

My first nomination before i decide to go through a list would be Round 16 2015 Vs Brisbane. It's one of the worst wins I've seen live. I took a friend who wasn't into footy but enjoyed some previous games, and he thought it was yikes
View attachment 1889009

Hard to believe we kicked 1.5 in a half of footy on a sunny day and yet somehow won with a leg in the air.

#Melbourne

 

[Johnny Karate]

2013 vs the Bulldogs. ****ing shithouse year. Yet, we played quite well for 3 quarters and had a 40 point lead. Then, we ****ing stopped in the last and managed to just fall over the line by 3 points. If a ruined orgasm were a football game.

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

That Pickles last quarter was unreal hahaha

Got him some stupid 2 year contract extension on the back of that game which unsurprisingly he didnt come close to playing up to. Think he was getting 400k per year and we cut him and took the dead cap in the final year.

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

Unsurprisingly he didnt even bother nominating for the draft, likely coz we would have been off the hook for the 400K if he got picked up. Evans decides not to nominate for draft

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

At least we had the balls to delist a player with a year to run on his contract back then. Tim Lamb should try and be more like us in 2014

 

[PerfectFooty]

Anyone ever seen the game when we played Adelaide at the oval in London. I collected the replay of this game and i must say for an exhibition game the locals where treated to a shitty dead rubber in appalling conditions. But we got that sweet international record of 6-0 (7-0 After the win in China against the Lions). This years game against the Giants in Alice was a similar scrap, although we didn't win so it can't count

2000 Exhibition Match vs Adelaide | Demonwiki

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[The Dr]

Record breaking 12 goal last quarter against bottom of the bottom GWS in 2013.

We were about 20 points down at 3QTR and the MCG felt like being at a funeral of an old friend. Then all of our spuds caught on fire - Pickles Evans in particular ran wild. Setanta Ohailpin kicked 5 at the other end.

Won by 40 points but it was still terrible

I left the G fuming at 3Q time, never been angrier at the club.

Then checked the scores later that day and couldn't believe we won, let alone by so much.


Sent from my iPhone using BigFooty.com

 

[Topkent]

My first nomination before i decide to go through a list would be Round 16 2015 Vs Brisbane. It's one of the worst wins I've seen live. I took a friend who wasn't into footy but enjoyed some previous games, and he thought it was yikes
View attachment 1889009

Without looking it up that was the day game at colonial right? That was ****ing shit lol.

 

[Topkent]

It's funny because two years later the swans were Premiers and melbourne were a basket case.

I honestly think bailey wasn't a bad coach in retrospect, the list was pretty ordinary but had some fun wins. We finally have a decent team now but play some boring footy.

Baileys footy is basically the style collingwood play now but with the wrong players. Think if the club wasn't broken around him and actually developed players he was gonna be a successful coach

 

[Topkent]

Pretty much every game of the last 2 years, having dorks advocate for expected scores made it more enjoyable to lose.