Think Tank Worst players ever - The Hall of Shame

[vjknight]

Id like to introduce

Understandably when we recruited him he hadn't played footy, so these highlights were all that was available.
And isn't it great to see a guy DOMINATE SCHOOLBOY sport, that discourages any physical contact, in a way that leads to a career in an AMATEUR GAME.

Caolan did develop into a handy VFL player. But once realisation hit that not only could opponents be very quick, but also be physical, he knew his time was up.

I guess that's why they still call it the IRISH EXPERIMENT.

 

[Northworth]

Yet somehow he STILL wasn't the worst player in the 1999 grand final

arguably one other played the worst grand final OF all time

and the Neon Leon Davis award should probably be renamed

 

[sonnywalters]

Ladies and gentlemen, whilst my team is a mere spring chicken amongst the roosters of spudness, I would like to present the following for consideration:

Coming into the 2010 draft with an abundance of first round picks, it was expected that Gold Coast would go on to win 5 of the next 3 grand finals, dilute the draft pool to a murky puddle and generally convert every NRL fan north of the Tweed over to the AFL

And then with pick #10 we did this -

I would like to introduce the unknown to Daniel "Rhymes with Orange - wheres my ******* coffee!" Gorringe

Taken ahead of Tom "Bow when you hear his name you groveling monkeys" Lynch in the draft, injuries cost him valuable game time in 2011 and Zac "I don't want the football, give it someone else" Smith quickly became the number one ruck (because our only other option was Josh Fraser).

Whilst in rehab, the hype train slowly started to build that Gorringe would come back to the field, fit and firing and ready to knock Zac "I draw a little star in my signature above the i because I got a rising star nomination" Smith off of his podium.

Turned himself into a muscular beast and had the Gold Coast faithful (Well, me and the mrs, her reasons may have been different to mine) excited that we might start to see a bit of payoff.

Instead what we got was a McDonald French Fry promoted to a Hungry Jacks chip, its a bit thicker but that's just more potato to fill in.

Eventually we saw the light and sent him on his way and he has now landed at the GWS NEAFL headquarters which seems like an appropriate fit.


Honourable mention goes to Tim Sumner #55 - 2012

Which reminds me. I have never said thanks for Tom Hickey and Mav Weller.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

We've picked up some stinkers In all my years supporting the Dees, but in my opinion Simon Eishold takes the cake.



Enough said.

Dishonourable mention to James Magner who not only was a VFL standard shit truck with massive tickets on himself, but the fat hobbit also killed Mitch Clark's career by falling on his foot.

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Andrew McQualter another entrant into the "If St Kilda won in 09 and 2010 his premiership medals should be stolen club"

If you think that private schools will magically turn your kid into an afl great then you are badly mistaken.

94 games overall but most of them at st kilda where he played as a defensive forward (Or person to occupy a defender so Milne, Schneider and Riewoldt can get goals)

He was a massive spud and will not be missed a true Lyon of the game

 

[richo's dodgy hammy]

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We've picked up some stinkers In all my years supporting the Dees, but in my opinion Simon Eishold takes the cake.



Enough said.

Dishonourable mention to James Magner who not only was a VFL standard shit truck with massive tickets on himself, but the fat hobbit also killed Mitch Clark's career by falling on his foot.

I believe Magner was playing local footy for Heidelberg this year, got dropped after the first final and said see you later.
So looks like he still has massive tickets on himself.

 

[Kram]

 

[Whit3y]

the phrase he plays with alot of heart was often used to describe jordie mckenzie, unfortunately that phrase is normally reserved for players who try their hardest but have very limited ability, it wasn't a coincidence that when jordie stopped getting a game, melbourne suddenly improved

 

[JustaBattler]

This thing above - just awful.

 

[King_Steele]

This thing above - just awful.

Paul Bower?

Spuddd

 

[Floyd]

Player No. 7 - Dean Polo

In the 2004 draft, Richmond had already secured its future by drafting Richard Tambling, Danny Meyer and Adam Pattison, so with pick 20 they went looking for depth. And by depth, we mean Coburg. Reserves. This is where young Dean, fresh out of Wy Yung, spent his first season with the tiges, honing the trademark ball butchering and ineffectiveness that would remain a hallmark throughout his "career."

Pictured: Dean in action for Coburg, tackling Jobe Watson before he got on the peds

By Round 6 of 2006, Dean finally won senior selection and lined up for the "Dreamtime at the G" game against a weakened Essendon squad that had not yet begun to systematically inject its players. Taking the "dreamtime" theme seriously, Dean gave the appearance of a competent footballer by racking up the elusive "20 and 3," a feat only accomplished by greats of the game such as Leigh Matthews and Jason Tutt. With 28 possessions and 3 goals, this was surely the start of start of a glittering career, right? Nope. Dean would never again gain as many possessions or kick more than a single goal in 76 more AFL games. His AFL career most closely resembled that hot chick you banged once but then had a burning feeling every time you urinated for 76 more days until the infection finally cleared up.

Despite Dean's production falling to regular single digit possessions, Richmond continued to inexplicably pick him for occasional games until 2010. His major accomplishment for that year was getting on the sauce with Ben Cousins the night that Benny, in his his most significant positive contribution to the culture at Tigerland, punched Daniel Connors in the face. Deano copped a one match ban for being SWB (shitfaced with Ben) and the tiges had to find someone else to cover his 8 possessions that week.

At the end of 2010 Dean was delisted. To most rational observers, his AFL career was at an end. But Ross Lyon was eagerly looking for list cloggers that would help him avoid playing any youngsters, and, given that Dean was approximately 22% as good as the average AFL player, he was a perfect cultural and athletic fit for the Saints, who grossly overpaid with pick 103 to secure Dean's services.

Pictured: Dean celebrates after Milney invites him to join a double date with a couple of fans

Dean played 2 unremarkable seasons for St. Kilda, ending his career with a 10 possession loss against the Pies in Round 19, 2012 before he was mercifully delisted. Dean, congratulations on parlaying one decent game into 77, and welcome to Cooksen's Hall of Shame.

(with apologies to Mofra)

 

[King_Steele]

Dean Polo



Charlie Gardiner



Ryan Gamble



Shane Birss



Beau Maister



TDL



Michael Rix

 

[Austin_McCrabbs]

Michael Rix

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What an abomination!

 

[King_Steele]

What an abomination!

 

[Starburns_]

Dean Polo

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Charlie Gardiner

View attachment 316017

Ryan Gamble

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Shane Birss

View attachment 316023

Beau Maister

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TDL

View attachment 316027

Michael Rix

View attachment 316034

This thread is made for Lyin's list cloggers.

Anyone want to try Freo's ones?

 

[jackster83]

This bloke would have looked more at home in a boy band than in the AFL:

Brad Moran for those of you playing at home.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

Ty Zantuck

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

This thing above - just awful.

The worst thing about Bower is when I go check my archive on talking Carlton I was so stoked when we drafted the Muppet.

 

[vjknight]

Hang on. Five seasons ago the saints were proud of their ROLE PLAYERS.

what happened ?

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Hang on. Five seasons ago the saints were proud of their ROLE PLAYERS.

what happened ?

Those saints supporters should be shot

Put Jack Steven and Armo and chances of winning go up

 

[JustaBattler]

The worst thing about Bower is when I go check my archive on talking Carlton I was so stoked when we drafted the Muppet.

He was bad real bad..no heart for the contest at all a rabbit in spotlights whenever he had ball in hand and always took the soft option

 

[Jukesy85]

As a team who haven't won a final in 12 years, we've had a few.

Courtenay Johns. Jason Laycock. Jay Nash. Henry Slattery. Sam Lonergan. Jay Neagle. Marc Bullen. Jake Melksham. Joel Reynolds. Kepler Bradley. Ty Zantuck. Tom Hislop. I'm sure there are more that I'm not remembering, but **** we've had a lot of potatoes this century after that 2000 GOAT team.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Ty Vickery

 

[hawkman]

Steven Morris really deserves a mention in here

 

[Asgardian]

Donald Dickie

Was okay in his first couple of years, but he was softer than the Lonie's. Bulldog Scott Wynd confronted him in a contest for the ball, Dickie was suddenly nowhere to be seen and Wynd played on with the ball without any trouble.