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Yeah. The meth/uranium king.

From the Carlton board: Jagga is the biggest talent that has ever walked through our doors. Hear me out with this one but one player that he reminds me of is Dustin Martin. The difference is that Jagga has superior evasive skills, is quicker and will average 7 touches more than Martin...

Gonna convert to Islam

Lal0r had a touch yet? I'm worried sick about this bloke.

Still can't believe these parrots signed their life away for a Shitlock sister.

0 touches in the match sim apparently Groupie_ I'm worried. Should've drafted Bo Smellan.

Not a bad call

Should’ve drafted Jagga Smiff. Flying apparently. Should we offer Lalor + Smillie for him in the trade period?

Yucky

He's on fraud watch. Couldn't get a kick off heroin.

Lalor is another slow low possession mid by the sounds of things. Should’ve just kept Jack Graham and drafted Jagga.

Lalor = concerning

Heard Ryan Garthwaite is having a cracking pre-season.

1. Lalor 2. Smillie 3. Armstrong 4. Hotton 5. Trainor 6. Alger 7. Faull 8. Simms

This was grouse: Maher is a knob.

HBF or bust.

I used to be the same but ice cold Guinness is unbelievable on a sunny day. Started rinsing them in St Tropez on 35+ degree days and they went down better than how they do mid winter. Beer hangovers are toilet. Feel like when you get over 30 it’s time to wrap up bulk beers. I’m at Union House...

Will duck into the Royston for eight pints of Guiness

You can't drink bulk Guiness?

12% is too much. Did you ever try Tooheys Platinum? They came in eight packs and were 9%.

Think I'm done with beer. Stout is the future.

Chocolate bars and cheeseburgers have definitely decreased in size over the years. Packets of air also come with less chips these days.

I'd sacrifice my (left) hand to bring pints back down to $10.

Where?? I just smuggled 15 decks home from South East Asia so I'm set for a month or two.

A day at the footy absolutely rinses me these days: Pub pre drinks - $100 Pub meal - $30-$40 Drinks at the game - $100-$150 Post game drinks - $100 Maccas on the way home $25 Fortunately I can stumble home from the G and don't have to cop a $50 Uber.

Darts are too expensive.