Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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Cheers for the rapturous rounds of applause lads. Much appreciated. :p

BUT....

WaLkEr_ThE_StAr said:
Mission accomplished. ;)

...

I sense she may be a clinger, but all is good thus far in terms of no contact from her. Part of me says she'd be up for a no strings attached arrangement, which i'd be cool with, but I doubt it would last long given I know she has already shown that she has feelings for me. Will keep you lads posted... that is if i'm not abducted and tied to a bed Misery style.
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[YOUTUBE]_JUCfX1P1ik[/YOUTUBE]

I think I may have spoken too soon! :eek:

Received a text from her tonight; "Hey :) Having a good week so far?"

First immediate thought that came into my head was to send back "I was... that is until I received your text" ;)

But FUUUU! So, the question is, how do I play this. I'm not a complete arseh*le, and don't want to lead the poor girl on. Perhaps I just play along for now with the formalities, and when we catch up later on in person i'll let her know my intentions of not wanting anything serious in terms of a relationship at the moment, but if she can handle a more 'casual' arrangement i'm all for it.
 
I've been doing this recently, making girls wait for your reply. At first I did it accidentally, just didn't have time (it was a long msg) etc. Now I do it deliberately. It works wonders
 

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WaLkEr_ThE_StAr said:
But FUUUU! So, the question is, how do I play this. I'm not a complete arseh*le, and don't want to lead the poor girl on. Perhaps I just play along for now with the formalities, and when we catch up later on in person i'll let her know my intentions of not wanting anything serious in terms of a relationship at the moment, but if she can handle a more 'casual' arrangement i'm all for it.
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Well, I caught up with her and layed down my intentions and stated I wasn't in it for anything serious and that if she was looking at wandering down that path she'd be bitterly disappointed. She tried to brush it off and act all cool about it, but I could tell she was a little shattered.

She then tried to explain to me that she wasn't looking for anything serious either... only to let slip that she would like companionship and the ability to share hugs, etc. - to which I pulled her up and told her that is the exact opposite of what I want. She brushed it off and said she is cool with having a simple '****-buddy'. All good!

That is until she starts trying to hold my hand, wrap her arms around me and kiss me in public. I keep telling her to keep her distance, as she's going against her word and our agreement, and I know that if she keeps going with this she'll become too attached and want something more. Of course she laughs at me, trying to turn it around by saying I had a massive ego, and enquires if i'm just saying that because girls in the past have come too close. I tell her not to try and turn the tables on me, because that shite isn't going to work with me. I proceed to tell her to keep her distance another 3 times that night, which she got shitty about.

So we head back to hers, I do the deed and I don't feel the same level of satisfaction I did the first night I successfully tuned and bedded her. With the challenge accomplished, there was nothing left in it for me. Don't get me wrong, you can't turn your nose up at regular sex, but the 'KLING-ON' factor far outweighs the regular sex factor.

klingon1.jpg


The question is, how do I get her off my case? I'm thinking of just running with something ambiguous like: "i'm in a really crazy mindset at the moment, and i'm not sure our arrangement is helping give me anymore clarity." Of course she is going to want a deeper explanation. Should I explain I have had feelings for another chick for some time, and that i'd much prefer to cool the jets with her to give me time to think? Only problem is that this completely goes against my 'no relationship mantra' I used in getting her to agree to be a FB. Anyone want to stand in for me?

HEEEEEELP! I need to put this ongoing saga to rest and get this crazy bish away from me. :(
 
DrVanNostrand said:
Three simple words:

I. Am. Gay.
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LOLOLOL! How about, "an alligator bit off my face"? :D

Would be kind of awkward if I used that excuse as one of her close female friends recently turned gay. Heck, if anything it'd be rather humorous! Hmmm, but no.

Cruyff14 said:
Just tell her your ex came back and you want to give it another go.
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Ah, I just remembered how she told me about the last guy she was with who was in my exact position as a FB saying how he didn't want a relationship anytime soon, only to find out later on that he'd got back with an ex girlfriend of his. The kent used my escape plan! LOLworthy though that he bailed as well. KLINGON! :eek:

Back to the drawing board! :eek:
 

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Tell her the truth, that your not interested in her at the moment as anything more than a friend and that if she cant stop being clingy while you guys are screwing that its best that you dont catch up anymore...honesty is actually pretty good in these situations as she will either admire your honesty and hopefully get the point or she will hate you for it and then who cares at least shes gone.
 
"I am not going to **** you anymore because you broke the terms of our agreement. This is entirely your fault, and you should feel less of a person because of it. Good day."
 
Tex_21 said:
"I am not going to **** you anymore because you broke the terms of our agreement. This is entirely your fault, and you should feel less of a person because of it. Good day."
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Genuinely LOL'd for a good minute at that. Thankyou, sir! The 'good day' makes it! :D :thumbsu:

Funny thing is, when I read that I imagined myself actually doing that - because that is stupid shit that I wouldn't put past me doing. Here I was wearing a classy suit, coupled with a long sleek coat with cane in tow. As I would deliver the 'good day', i'd twirl my non-existent moustache between my index finger and thumb, and as I would turn i'd then proceed to whip my coat tails from out underneath me and briskly walk off into the distance. All the while she'd be left with a 'WTF just happened' look on her face.

BRILLIANT! :thumbsu:
 
WaLkEr_ThE_StAr said:
Genuinely LOL'd for a good minute at that. Thankyou, sir! The 'good day' makes it! :D :thumbsu:

Funny thing is, when I read that I imagined myself actually doing that - because that is stupid shit that I wouldn't put past me doing. Here I was wearing a classy suit, coupled with a long sleek coat with cane in tow. As I would deliver the 'good day', i'd twirl my non-existent moustache between my index finger and thumb, and as I would turn i'd then proceed to whip my coat tails from out underneath me and briskly walk off into the distance. All the while she'd be left with a 'WTF just happened' look on her face.

BRILLIANT! :thumbsu:
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Needs more monocle.
 
This cries for a scheme.

Couldn't just post-coitus, roll her up in a rug and throw her out of a moving car in the middle of nowhere?


Either that, or you make a move on her 'gay' friend. Just do something offensive. That's how I get out of things. (Intentionally and unintentionally.)
 
Change the rules of meeting up to say that you have to hit the sack first, before you do anything else. Then get that app that can fake a call at a set time. Set the timer for however long you normally last, get the job done, then wait calmly for your phone to ring with an emergency. This method however, only works for as long as you can keep thinking up believable emergencies.
 
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