Red mist
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Oh my stars! Awesome.
Off-topic Bay 13 Survivor: Cockburn (2016). We have a winner! (links in OP)
- Thread starter Starburns_
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Dinsdale
®Moderation of beer©
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I'm currently without internet thanks to
Telstra completely and utterly ****ing me around, so I have no idea what I can come up with at this stage...
Telstra completely and utterly ****ing me around, so I have no idea what I can come up with at this stage...
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What do Telstra and a platypus have in common? They can both shove their bills up their arse.
JoseMourinho
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If you put challenge entry 10 on that duritz, you might win!
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Challenge #10
I asked my best hiding buddy where Trent is.
You really think Skasey is ded? Come on.
Anyway, Trent is in that hole they put Saddam in.
FOUND HIM!
ahhhh yes supreme leader farts out another one
I asked my best hiding buddy where Trent is.
You really think Skasey is ded? Come on.
Anyway, Trent is in that hole they put Saddam in.
FOUND HIM!
ahhhh yes supreme leader farts out another one
TootToot!
Debutant
Challenge #10 Entry
So, after much investigating I've come up with a couple of leads to where Trent may be!
I've narrowed down to 2 locations, my reliable source says it's possible that he could be somewhere in this pile:
I'll make sure I give it a thorough examination to see if I can locate him!
And according to my sources, these young people may have knowledge to Trent's whereabouts:
You can rest assured that I'll be following an intense line of interrogation with these possible witnesses! And I don't care whose penises I have to suck but I'll get to the bottom of it!
#TootToot
So, after much investigating I've come up with a couple of leads to where Trent may be!
I've narrowed down to 2 locations, my reliable source says it's possible that he could be somewhere in this pile:
I'll make sure I give it a thorough examination to see if I can locate him!
And according to my sources, these young people may have knowledge to Trent's whereabouts:
You can rest assured that I'll be following an intense line of interrogation with these possible witnesses! And I don't care whose penises I have to suck but I'll get to the bottom of it!
#TootToot
- Banned
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Lol, a couple of entries dialled in there...
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So this is where benwah learnt his amazing photoshop skills... i had been wondering
Red mist
Reynholm Industries
- Jun 30, 2014
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Dinsdale
®Moderation of beer©
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Challenge #10 entry
Another day, another challenge. This time Dinsdale had to find Trent. As tyresome as it seemed, Richmond was an easy target, and Trent the easiest of all. An easy target, yet not easy to find. How to find someone who is quite obviously a master of concealment and evasion? A map? A map, showing crayon x marks the spot, somewhere near a cesspit or a dead Hippo? Make a new contract for Trent, entice him out of hiding? Waste time going over the whole island? Make a funny gif of him being chased by CarLOLton Bryce Squibbs with bladerunner feet? Dinsdale’s 386 was no longer booting, someone had stolen his coconuts on a string and his sandwiches, so a gif was out.
No, that had all been done. Done to death. Dinsdale was no stranger to death, or at least dealing it out.
Dinsdale considered following the other survivors and removing them from the picture if they found Trent, but they were all rushing off willy-nilly, all with their own little ideas and idioms, none of them would work.
As the day drew on he sat on a boulder near coke beach. He would wait. Wait for Trent to come to him. Dinsdale thought about Trent <trent….trent…come to coke beach trent…> and tossed a coin in the air, over and over again <trent…the coin toss can be taken again…your mistake can be erased…you can go with the wind…come to the beach trent> You say one thing about Dinsdale, you say he’s patient.
After several hours’ meditation, the bedraggled figure of Trent Cotchin stumbled out of the wild jungle undergrowth.
Dinsdale continued the coin-toss, having captured Trents every thought.
“where have you been since the last final Trent, when you started to disappear against Norf. Some would say you haven’t been the same since the coin incident”
“Dinsy, I, I, I’m here – they’re all searching for me, hehe but they no find the tricksy me. I, I’m ready to toss the precious again. I’m ready for redemption” weasled the pathetic fool.
Dinsdale slowly turned to face Trent. The coin stopped in mid-air. “Dinsy?” he whispered…”no-one calls me Dinsy”.
A Red Mist of rage came over him “…not again” he thought…
After some time Dinsdale came to. Lucidity had returned, the beach was calm, a gentle zephyr stirred the jungle vines, but the blood on his hands told a different story.
Where’s Trent? Dinsdale glanced at his solar powered Huawei Sat phone. The blood on the camera button was a giveway…he pressed play...
You say one thing about Trent, you say he’s all over Cockburn Island.
Another day, another challenge. This time Dinsdale had to find Trent. As tyresome as it seemed, Richmond was an easy target, and Trent the easiest of all. An easy target, yet not easy to find. How to find someone who is quite obviously a master of concealment and evasion? A map? A map, showing crayon x marks the spot, somewhere near a cesspit or a dead Hippo? Make a new contract for Trent, entice him out of hiding? Waste time going over the whole island? Make a funny gif of him being chased by CarLOLton Bryce Squibbs with bladerunner feet? Dinsdale’s 386 was no longer booting, someone had stolen his coconuts on a string and his sandwiches, so a gif was out.
No, that had all been done. Done to death. Dinsdale was no stranger to death, or at least dealing it out.
Dinsdale considered following the other survivors and removing them from the picture if they found Trent, but they were all rushing off willy-nilly, all with their own little ideas and idioms, none of them would work.
As the day drew on he sat on a boulder near coke beach. He would wait. Wait for Trent to come to him. Dinsdale thought about Trent <trent….trent…come to coke beach trent…> and tossed a coin in the air, over and over again <trent…the coin toss can be taken again…your mistake can be erased…you can go with the wind…come to the beach trent> You say one thing about Dinsdale, you say he’s patient.
After several hours’ meditation, the bedraggled figure of Trent Cotchin stumbled out of the wild jungle undergrowth.
Dinsdale continued the coin-toss, having captured Trents every thought.
“where have you been since the last final Trent, when you started to disappear against Norf. Some would say you haven’t been the same since the coin incident”
“Dinsy, I, I, I’m here – they’re all searching for me, hehe but they no find the tricksy me. I, I’m ready to toss the precious again. I’m ready for redemption” weasled the pathetic fool.
Dinsdale slowly turned to face Trent. The coin stopped in mid-air. “Dinsy?” he whispered…”no-one calls me Dinsy”.
A Red Mist of rage came over him “…not again” he thought…
After some time Dinsdale came to. Lucidity had returned, the beach was calm, a gentle zephyr stirred the jungle vines, but the blood on his hands told a different story.
Where’s Trent? Dinsdale glanced at his solar powered Huawei Sat phone. The blood on the camera button was a giveway…he pressed play...
You say one thing about Trent, you say he’s all over Cockburn Island.
JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
Duritz's entry
Challenge Entry #10
Trent is *buffering* *buffering* *buffering* still on the
*Connection Lost*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
Connected
milk bottle as missing but I
*buffering*
*buffering*
KNOW
*buffering*
*buffering*
where he really is.
*Connection Lost*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
Connected
HE IS UNDER THE MCG, THE RICHMOND FLOGS BURI-
*Connection Lost*
Challenge Entry #10
Trent is *buffering* *buffering* *buffering* still on the
*Connection Lost*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
Connected
milk bottle as missing but I
*buffering*
*buffering*
KNOW
*buffering*
*buffering*
where he really is.
*Connection Lost*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
*Trying to reconnect in 5 seconds*
Connected
HE IS UNDER THE MCG, THE RICHMOND FLOGS BURI-
*Connection Lost*
bontshow
Brownlow Medallist
Challenge #10 entry
Starburns_ stood up in front of the group and started counting the votes. "The 10th person voted out of Survivor: Cockburn is... Hazard"
Whilst I felt sorry for my tribemate, I realised that from a starting field of 19, with 10 gone and 9 left I had made it past halfway. Something Morganashlee never thought possible
What happened next however seemed even more impossible. Fyfie announced that the next challenge was to find Trent Cotchin. "What sort of challenge is that? He's standing right here!" I said. Trent had been on the island since Dustin Martin left, we had a few Richmond players come over following his rave reviews. "Leave the challenges to me, boymods" said Fyfie.
The group looked at Trent, then at each other in disbelief
"This isn't the first time this has happened" said Trent. "I'm not sure whether he's ignoring me, or whether he's experiencing some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. Ever since the elimination final, it's like I don't even exist to him"
"3 successive erimination finar rosses wirr do that to a man", said DapperJong. Only he could get away with that, partly because we can't help but laugh at his accent, and partly because if we do anything but laugh, he'll turn us into fireworks.
"So, what do we do now then?" said Benwah83, who was planning on spending the day winning yet another challenge. "We've got to help him", I said. "If Fyfie loses his marbles, we'll be left with Tyler Durden007 and Impunity! running the show"
TootToot! was already on Fyfie's boat looking for 'supplies'. "Hey Toot!", I said. "Can you stop the boat from taking off somehow?" "Way ahead of you" he said, having siphoned out the petrol
Soon enough, Fyfie returned. "Looks like I'm stuck here, the boat won't start" he said. "What do you flogs do for fun here anyway?" Sensing my chance, I said "We've made a couple of footies, let's play a game"
Trent was a God amongst men against the assembled flogs, and sure enough, it didn't take long for Fyfie to recognise him. "Hey, there's Trent Cotchin!" he said, after Trent had his 10th kick in the first 5 minutes of our game. "Who found him?" he asked. "Mate he's been here the whole time" I said. "Now watch this".
"Hey Trent", I said. "You guys win, it's time for finals now". Suddenly, the dominant AFL player turned into someone's little sister in a piggy in the middle game. Fyfie's jaw dropped. "NO THAT CAN'T BE TRENT" he exclaimed. "TRENT'S A GUN, HE SHITS ALL OVER YOU FLOGS!"
The jibes started to come. "Mr September's gone to water again!" said Red mist. "Even Freo have won more finals than you!" said Stronzo. "You choke more than Kim Duthie!" said Toot.
"LEAVE TRENT ALONE!!!" said Fyfie, as his voice started to quiver. "It's OK mate" I said, with a pat on the back. "Wait until round 1, you'll smash Carlton and all will be forgotten again".
Starburns_ stood up in front of the group and started counting the votes. "The 10th person voted out of Survivor: Cockburn is... Hazard"
Whilst I felt sorry for my tribemate, I realised that from a starting field of 19, with 10 gone and 9 left I had made it past halfway. Something Morganashlee never thought possible
What happened next however seemed even more impossible. Fyfie announced that the next challenge was to find Trent Cotchin. "What sort of challenge is that? He's standing right here!" I said. Trent had been on the island since Dustin Martin left, we had a few Richmond players come over following his rave reviews. "Leave the challenges to me, boymods" said Fyfie.
The group looked at Trent, then at each other in disbelief
"This isn't the first time this has happened" said Trent. "I'm not sure whether he's ignoring me, or whether he's experiencing some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. Ever since the elimination final, it's like I don't even exist to him"
"3 successive erimination finar rosses wirr do that to a man", said DapperJong. Only he could get away with that, partly because we can't help but laugh at his accent, and partly because if we do anything but laugh, he'll turn us into fireworks.
"So, what do we do now then?" said Benwah83, who was planning on spending the day winning yet another challenge. "We've got to help him", I said. "If Fyfie loses his marbles, we'll be left with Tyler Durden007 and Impunity! running the show"
TootToot! was already on Fyfie's boat looking for 'supplies'. "Hey Toot!", I said. "Can you stop the boat from taking off somehow?" "Way ahead of you" he said, having siphoned out the petrol
Soon enough, Fyfie returned. "Looks like I'm stuck here, the boat won't start" he said. "What do you flogs do for fun here anyway?" Sensing my chance, I said "We've made a couple of footies, let's play a game"
Trent was a God amongst men against the assembled flogs, and sure enough, it didn't take long for Fyfie to recognise him. "Hey, there's Trent Cotchin!" he said, after Trent had his 10th kick in the first 5 minutes of our game. "Who found him?" he asked. "Mate he's been here the whole time" I said. "Now watch this".
"Hey Trent", I said. "You guys win, it's time for finals now". Suddenly, the dominant AFL player turned into someone's little sister in a piggy in the middle game. Fyfie's jaw dropped. "NO THAT CAN'T BE TRENT" he exclaimed. "TRENT'S A GUN, HE SHITS ALL OVER YOU FLOGS!"
The jibes started to come. "Mr September's gone to water again!" said Red mist. "Even Freo have won more finals than you!" said Stronzo. "You choke more than Kim Duthie!" said Toot.
"LEAVE TRENT ALONE!!!" said Fyfie, as his voice started to quiver. "It's OK mate" I said, with a pat on the back. "Wait until round 1, you'll smash Carlton and all will be forgotten again".
Morganashlee
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Stop mentioning me maggots
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What's the matter Morgs, I thought you liked Survivor? You've still got 2015 Survivor Winner in your signature
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Who mentioned your maggots?
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Challenge #10 Entry
Following the KFC road
I started at the south beach it my difficult quest of searching for Trent, for he had not been sighted since the epic Tiger choke of September 2015 against the mighty North Melbourne.
To track Trent, l decided to employ tracking methods that have been used by Victorian police to track Richmond yobo’s, by following a trail of food scraps and packages from KFC.
The use of KFC tracking allowed me to pick up the scent of Trent and lead me to what appeared to be a lengthy yellow bricked and KFC covered trail.
I passed poorly pixelated tyres and a hermit in a Richmond scarf, who told me to piss off D/H, so l continued. Next l spotted an old man further up the trail, which appeared to have been lost on Cockburn Island for at least a few months.
He told me to shut up bitch or I’ll knock you out, so once again l continued onwards. I then passed some racing car bed sheets, probably worth $6,000 and a $900 suit just laying on the ground. The owner must have been very rich and important to leave such expensive items just laying about.
I then ran into a strange Native American Indian, who told me that, “to find Trent, l miss enter the spirit world by eating out of date KFC chicken”.
So l did and a spirit in the form of Royals1922 (come back soon old champ) told me that none other than KFC boy was holding Trent and Corey Ellis hostage in a secret fortress, deep on Cockburn Island, near a dormant volcano.
Escaping the horrid spirit world, l made my way to the fortress, strewn with KFC boxes everywhere and the bones of many a chicken. The base was well concealed.
Wait, that's not it, o, here it is.
I was unable to penetrate this fortress, so l could on our glorious leader, DapperJong to save Trent and Brandon Ellis, who also went missing last September. The glorious leader was able to do this, mortally wounding KFC boy, finding and saving Trent.
Following the KFC road
I started at the south beach it my difficult quest of searching for Trent, for he had not been sighted since the epic Tiger choke of September 2015 against the mighty North Melbourne.
To track Trent, l decided to employ tracking methods that have been used by Victorian police to track Richmond yobo’s, by following a trail of food scraps and packages from KFC.
The use of KFC tracking allowed me to pick up the scent of Trent and lead me to what appeared to be a lengthy yellow bricked and KFC covered trail.
I passed poorly pixelated tyres and a hermit in a Richmond scarf, who told me to piss off D/H, so l continued. Next l spotted an old man further up the trail, which appeared to have been lost on Cockburn Island for at least a few months.
He told me to shut up bitch or I’ll knock you out, so once again l continued onwards. I then passed some racing car bed sheets, probably worth $6,000 and a $900 suit just laying on the ground. The owner must have been very rich and important to leave such expensive items just laying about.
I then ran into a strange Native American Indian, who told me that, “to find Trent, l miss enter the spirit world by eating out of date KFC chicken”.
So l did and a spirit in the form of Royals1922 (come back soon old champ) told me that none other than KFC boy was holding Trent and Corey Ellis hostage in a secret fortress, deep on Cockburn Island, near a dormant volcano.
Escaping the horrid spirit world, l made my way to the fortress, strewn with KFC boxes everywhere and the bones of many a chicken. The base was well concealed.
Wait, that's not it, o, here it is.
I was unable to penetrate this fortress, so l could on our glorious leader, DapperJong to save Trent and Brandon Ellis, who also went missing last September. The glorious leader was able to do this, mortally wounding KFC boy, finding and saving Trent.
Red mist
Reynholm Industries
- Jun 30, 2014
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Challenge#10 entry.
I was startled awake from a fitful slumber by Benwah wandering around telling Jack to "GET BUSY!".
Dinsdale added Native mushrooms to our meal last night and they'd kicked in early for him. Everyone else was gone already looking for Trent in some way, shape or form. I was acclimatised to the shrooms so went to my makeshift lab to concoct a mix that would enable me to astral travel.
My formula completed I decided to go heavy on the dosage because I like to roll like that. I immediately regretted that and slumped to the ground right where I stood. Oh the Joys of tripping balls. But I found Trent. I put the pieces to the puzzle together like this.
On his visit to the Tuggers earlier in the year Cam Newton was impressed with Trents leadership. He asked him to keep him in mind as to have him at Carolina. Trent was excited by this and wanted in.
He got distracted as Carolinas season was about to begin and he wanted to be there so bad. He wanted to keep it under wraps so he went incognito and stayed with a family.
He even went back to school.
Trent is now Cam Newtons blind side. He's gotten to the last game of the year and is bound for glory. Just not with his own team.
I was startled awake from a fitful slumber by Benwah wandering around telling Jack to "GET BUSY!".
Dinsdale added Native mushrooms to our meal last night and they'd kicked in early for him. Everyone else was gone already looking for Trent in some way, shape or form. I was acclimatised to the shrooms so went to my makeshift lab to concoct a mix that would enable me to astral travel.
My formula completed I decided to go heavy on the dosage because I like to roll like that. I immediately regretted that and slumped to the ground right where I stood. Oh the Joys of tripping balls. But I found Trent. I put the pieces to the puzzle together like this.
On his visit to the Tuggers earlier in the year Cam Newton was impressed with Trents leadership. He asked him to keep him in mind as to have him at Carolina. Trent was excited by this and wanted in.
He got distracted as Carolinas season was about to begin and he wanted to be there so bad. He wanted to keep it under wraps so he went incognito and stayed with a family.
He even went back to school.
Trent is now Cam Newtons blind side. He's gotten to the last game of the year and is bound for glory. Just not with his own team.
- Banned
- #1,046
Challenge #10 entry
I was beginning to grow very tired of sitting by the bank of the river Cockburn, and was contemplating what to do with my afternoon.
So I was considering in my own mind (as well as I could, for the hot day made me feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of a quick one off the wrist would be worth the trouble of getting up, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by.
There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did I think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!', but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, I started to my feet, for it flashed across my mind that I had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, I ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
I never once considered whether I should follow, but follow I did.
The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that I had not a moment to think about stopping myself before I found myself falling down a very deep well.
I passed out eventually, and when I came to found myself in a very strange place.
I walked along, until I came to a hall, with many locked doors of all sizes. Finding a key and venturing inside, I gazed upon a glass, with a sign saying "drink me".
I drank the kool aid, and feeling much refreshed noticed a little mouse nearby.
"Excuse me," said I, "but where am I?"
The mouse headbutted me in the nose then squeezed my balls, hard. I yelled in protest.
"Sorry about that," said the mouse, "I couldn't help it. It is who I am. The answer to your question is that you are down the rabbit hole. You are in dreamland. Wonderland. Imagination land. Here, anything is possible."
"Well," I replied, "I am seeking the one they call Cotchin. I saw a white rabbit and for a moment I thought it was him, but it was not. Do you know of who I speak?"
"I do," he replied, "I do indeed. He is the one they call 'Mr Home and Away', or 'One to Twenty Three'."
"And have you seen him?" I asked in earnest.
"I have not, though he is rumoured to be here."
"Then I must press on!" I declared, and left the mouse.
I followed a path, and further down it came across this strange creature...
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I am the cheshire cat!" he replied.
"I am looking for the one they call Cotchin!" I replied. "He is also known as 'Mr Home and Away', or 'One to Twenty Three'. Have you seen him?"
"Ah!" replied the cat. "You seek Mr August! I have seen him, I have!"
"Well, where is he?" I asked.
"He is the very special guest, the very special guest! He is the guest of the tea party! But it starts soon, you must hurry! It is at the Mad Hatter's house, and you must hurry! It begins now! It begins now... it begins now..."
And with that, the cat faded away, disappearing entirely except for his cheshire smile.
I hurried on, and soon came along a large house. I pressed the large doorbell. Soon, a voice boomed out at me.
"Who is there, and who interrupts the Mad Hatter's tea party!" it boomed.
"Please, my name is Duritz, or he of the disfigured hand, and I have come to find the one they call Cotchin, or 'Mr Home and Away', or 'One to Twenty Three', or 'Mr August'. May I come in?"
Instantly, a man appeared in front of me, as though by magic.
"You seek our special guest!" he said. "He is here! You must come in! You must see! But before you do, you must drink my tea!"
He poured me a cup of tea.
"What is in it?" I asked.
"I cannot tell you, but it is not illegal!" he replied.
I drank his tea. I felt woozy afterwards, but followed him. We went into a vast hall. An array of strange creatures sat around a large table, eating and drinking.
"Silence!" yelled the Mad Hatter. "We have a visitor from above! From the world outside!"
"Outside!" they cried. "We do not like the world outside!"
"He has come to see our Special Guest. Duritz, gaze upon the stage, for I give to you Cotchin, the Queen of NoHearts!"
I had found him. He was here, in this strange dreamland, hiding away.
"Why do you come here?" he called out, "From the world above?"
"I came to find you, to take you back to where you came from!" I replied.
"But I like it much more here!" he said. "The year has only 8 months, from January to August. It is much more pleasant. I shall never return to the world above. Off with your head! Off with your head!"
The party turned angry, many joined in the chorus.
"Off with his head!" they yelled. Several started up from their seats and rushed towards me.
I immediately fled the hall as fast as I could. I ran and ran, but began to feel even more woozy, whether from the kool-aid or the tea I did not know. I fell, and as I did I hit my head, and passed out. When I woke, I had returned to the foreshore on Cockburn island. I had thought it all a dream, but a large lump on my head attested otherwise. I vowed not to return to that strange place. The Queen of NoHearts could stay there forever, in her twilight, January to August year.
I was beginning to grow very tired of sitting by the bank of the river Cockburn, and was contemplating what to do with my afternoon.
So I was considering in my own mind (as well as I could, for the hot day made me feel very sleepy and stupid), whether the pleasure of a quick one off the wrist would be worth the trouble of getting up, when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by.
There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did I think it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, `Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!', but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, I started to my feet, for it flashed across my mind that I had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, I ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.
I never once considered whether I should follow, but follow I did.
The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that I had not a moment to think about stopping myself before I found myself falling down a very deep well.
I passed out eventually, and when I came to found myself in a very strange place.
I walked along, until I came to a hall, with many locked doors of all sizes. Finding a key and venturing inside, I gazed upon a glass, with a sign saying "drink me".
I drank the kool aid, and feeling much refreshed noticed a little mouse nearby.
"Excuse me," said I, "but where am I?"
The mouse headbutted me in the nose then squeezed my balls, hard. I yelled in protest.
"Sorry about that," said the mouse, "I couldn't help it. It is who I am. The answer to your question is that you are down the rabbit hole. You are in dreamland. Wonderland. Imagination land. Here, anything is possible."
"Well," I replied, "I am seeking the one they call Cotchin. I saw a white rabbit and for a moment I thought it was him, but it was not. Do you know of who I speak?"
"I do," he replied, "I do indeed. He is the one they call 'Mr Home and Away', or 'One to Twenty Three'."
"And have you seen him?" I asked in earnest.
"I have not, though he is rumoured to be here."
"Then I must press on!" I declared, and left the mouse.
I followed a path, and further down it came across this strange creature...
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I am the cheshire cat!" he replied.
"I am looking for the one they call Cotchin!" I replied. "He is also known as 'Mr Home and Away', or 'One to Twenty Three'. Have you seen him?"
"Ah!" replied the cat. "You seek Mr August! I have seen him, I have!"
"Well, where is he?" I asked.
"He is the very special guest, the very special guest! He is the guest of the tea party! But it starts soon, you must hurry! It is at the Mad Hatter's house, and you must hurry! It begins now! It begins now... it begins now..."
And with that, the cat faded away, disappearing entirely except for his cheshire smile.
I hurried on, and soon came along a large house. I pressed the large doorbell. Soon, a voice boomed out at me.
"Who is there, and who interrupts the Mad Hatter's tea party!" it boomed.
"Please, my name is Duritz, or he of the disfigured hand, and I have come to find the one they call Cotchin, or 'Mr Home and Away', or 'One to Twenty Three', or 'Mr August'. May I come in?"
Instantly, a man appeared in front of me, as though by magic.
"You seek our special guest!" he said. "He is here! You must come in! You must see! But before you do, you must drink my tea!"
He poured me a cup of tea.
"What is in it?" I asked.
"I cannot tell you, but it is not illegal!" he replied.
I drank his tea. I felt woozy afterwards, but followed him. We went into a vast hall. An array of strange creatures sat around a large table, eating and drinking.
"Silence!" yelled the Mad Hatter. "We have a visitor from above! From the world outside!"
"Outside!" they cried. "We do not like the world outside!"
"He has come to see our Special Guest. Duritz, gaze upon the stage, for I give to you Cotchin, the Queen of NoHearts!"
I had found him. He was here, in this strange dreamland, hiding away.
"Why do you come here?" he called out, "From the world above?"
"I came to find you, to take you back to where you came from!" I replied.
"But I like it much more here!" he said. "The year has only 8 months, from January to August. It is much more pleasant. I shall never return to the world above. Off with your head! Off with your head!"
The party turned angry, many joined in the chorus.
"Off with his head!" they yelled. Several started up from their seats and rushed towards me.
I immediately fled the hall as fast as I could. I ran and ran, but began to feel even more woozy, whether from the kool-aid or the tea I did not know. I fell, and as I did I hit my head, and passed out. When I woke, I had returned to the foreshore on Cockburn island. I had thought it all a dream, but a large lump on my head attested otherwise. I vowed not to return to that strange place. The Queen of NoHearts could stay there forever, in her twilight, January to August year.
Stronzo
Hall of Famer
Challenge #10 Entry
"Woof woof woof" came the barks of Boydogs.
It seemed the surprises never ended with him. He had taken the role of sniffer dog in the search for Trent Cotchin.
"Woof woof!" He barked again, staring at the tribe excitedly and shaking his arse like he had a tail to wag. The tribe looked back with bemusement and horror.
He scampered as fast as a person could go on their hands and knees in dense jungle, and we did follow for a few minutes until the realisation dawned on the group.
"Why are we following a full grown man, pretending to be a sniffer dog?" Asked Kangaroos4eva, as we all looked at each other feeling a bit ridiculous at this fact being pointed out.
"Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof!" Barked boydogs loudly like he had found something. Dapperjong went to investigate, and retrieved some animal bones from the mouth of boydogs.
Dinsdale took a closer look and found a grave site where the bones came from.
"There's a cross here as well, Dinsdale thinks it looks like a grave site" said Dinsdale.
"What it say on tha cross?" said dapperjong, possibly squinting.
"It says, here lies Kouda" answered Dinsdale.
"Kouda was Trent Cotchin's dog until Hamish McLachlan ran him over. We must be getting close." I said, Boydogs' arse wagged faster than ever as he gave a bark and led us deeper into the jungle.
We followed and the jungle opened up to a grassed area where there was a strange man wearing Richmond regalia, with bright yellow hair.
It was the one they call Trout.
"What's going on here Trout, what are you doing in Cockburn far away from the MCG?" Asked Benwah.
"Oh, fellas, I am here on a mission to look after the Richmond players who have fallen victim to that evil witch Caroline Wilson. You see after that final last year, Caro was so angry she cast a spell on some of the players and turned them into goats. Now I am here to feed and water them to and make sure they're ok if the spell ever wears off. There they are over there." Said Trout, pointing off towards a small flock of goats. "Just be careful what you say around them. They are quite sensitive things."
We all took one look at each other and started yelling abuse at the goats.
"You're shit!" "Shitmound are rubbish!" "Jack Reiwoldt is a crybaby!"
This went on for a few minutes with more reaction from Trout than the goats, until Red Mist yelled:
"FINALS!!"
And we knew we had found Trent.
"Woof woof woof" came the barks of Boydogs.
It seemed the surprises never ended with him. He had taken the role of sniffer dog in the search for Trent Cotchin.
"Woof woof!" He barked again, staring at the tribe excitedly and shaking his arse like he had a tail to wag. The tribe looked back with bemusement and horror.
He scampered as fast as a person could go on their hands and knees in dense jungle, and we did follow for a few minutes until the realisation dawned on the group.
"Why are we following a full grown man, pretending to be a sniffer dog?" Asked Kangaroos4eva, as we all looked at each other feeling a bit ridiculous at this fact being pointed out.
"Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof!" Barked boydogs loudly like he had found something. Dapperjong went to investigate, and retrieved some animal bones from the mouth of boydogs.
Dinsdale took a closer look and found a grave site where the bones came from.
"There's a cross here as well, Dinsdale thinks it looks like a grave site" said Dinsdale.
"What it say on tha cross?" said dapperjong, possibly squinting.
"It says, here lies Kouda" answered Dinsdale.
"Kouda was Trent Cotchin's dog until Hamish McLachlan ran him over. We must be getting close." I said, Boydogs' arse wagged faster than ever as he gave a bark and led us deeper into the jungle.
We followed and the jungle opened up to a grassed area where there was a strange man wearing Richmond regalia, with bright yellow hair.
It was the one they call Trout.
"What's going on here Trout, what are you doing in Cockburn far away from the MCG?" Asked Benwah.
"Oh, fellas, I am here on a mission to look after the Richmond players who have fallen victim to that evil witch Caroline Wilson. You see after that final last year, Caro was so angry she cast a spell on some of the players and turned them into goats. Now I am here to feed and water them to and make sure they're ok if the spell ever wears off. There they are over there." Said Trout, pointing off towards a small flock of goats. "Just be careful what you say around them. They are quite sensitive things."
We all took one look at each other and started yelling abuse at the goats.
"You're shit!" "Shitmound are rubbish!" "Jack Reiwoldt is a crybaby!"
This went on for a few minutes with more reaction from Trout than the goats, until Red Mist yelled:
"FINALS!!"
And we knew we had found Trent.
JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
Jose's Picks - Duritz to win, Benwah voted out at TC
Morganashlee
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