Off-topic Bay 13 Survivor: Cockburn (2016). We have a winner! (links in OP)

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Challenge #9 Entry

Ok first off there's two things I must address.

1. Yeah, I get it, I wasn't exactly 'beach body ready' when I got to the island. I had to replace my current Zumba instructor because his workouts were too hard and hadn't found time to find a new one.

2. Of course I'm biased, but I like Masterchef way better than Survivor because I'm a fat campaigner and I love eating.

Without further ado...

YOUR CHALLENGE

This island is pretty stuffed when it comes to fine dining. There are literally no restaurants. Not even a pie stand with inflated Etihad prices I can complain about.

Your challenge is to bring me, the food judge, a dish made up of ingredients from the island.

The dish is to be:

- Appropriate for a North Korean fine dining restaurant.
- Able to be eaten at the footy.

Chopsticks optional. Human/dog meat is acceptable. It may be a main or a dessert.

I also want you describe the method of making the dish, any difficulties you had in making it and the nuances of your dish that is going to set it apart from the competition.

MS paint style "hero shots" (a term we use in the reality world) will score points for you. As we know, we all eat with our eyes first.

extra tip: i hate anything to do with soy. Get that shit out of my face.
 
DapperJong said:
I don't understand your post.
Click to expand...
At some point, the remaining survivors will pick 1 person from NYC to return to the island.

I doubt they'll bring you back given how much of a threat you are since you can win immunity. Cookie and Haduks have not.
 
Challenge #9 Entry
House selling in the Cockburn Island Archipelago

· James Hird is looking to sell one of his houses on Cockburn Island and move to the Island of Elba, with a brief stopover in Not Yet Convicted Island.

· http://www.domain.com.au/news/you-w...manor-with-a-designer-update-20151105-gkrmb9/

· A number of different footballing personalities, both past and current, are looking to sell up their properties on Cockburn Island and have already moved to caves on Not Yet Convicted Island or to exile on Elba Island.

Task
· Your primary task is that you are going to try and sell these properties on Cockburn Island.
· You are to list whose selling the property and the reasons why they are selling. Real estate agents have had trouble selling the properties, due to a variety of reasons.
house.jpg house1.jpg

· To effectively sell this property to prospective buyers, you must highlight the key and interesting features of the house, its neighbours and what items that were left behind by the previous owners.

· It is also worth highlighting the benefits of the Island’s suburbs and anything else you deem necessary to sell the property.

· Extra points will be awarded to those who tell Jose to **** off (you’re alright Jose) if he tries to buy one of the properties to get back on Cockburn Island. In addition, listing any interested individuals, groups or criminal enterprises and why they’re interested in buying a property, will also gain addition points.

The Rules
To enter the challenge, you must start with the words: “Challenge #9 entry.”

Once you have posted your entry, it cannot be modified. Mods, except for Teach because he’s not really a mod, more an honorary mod, can see edit histories.

If you break this rule or post incorrectly, you will be disqualified from the round and forced to go fishing with Teach on his boat every Sunday.

This round will close at 8pm Thursday AEDT, if you do not enter, you cannot get #impunity and gain protection from Sir Sparkles of Frankston.

The Prize
The best challenge will win #impunity and cannot be voted out at Tribal Council.
Good luck, floggos.

Here’s an example to help out you flogs.
Example:
BRENDON FEVOLA
· Brendon wants to sell his house to spend more time with his retirement savings and move in to affordable housing
· http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/a...ause-of-gambling/story-fni5ezdm-1226756435753
· http://www.news.com.au/entertainmen...mbling-addiction/story-e6frfmqi-1225855736509

KEY FEATURES
· Here’s Fev’s house he’s trying to sell:
giphy.gif


· Has alarm system, marijuana bushes out the front and back hidden amongst normal looking bushes and plants.
· Four bedrooms, including a $9,000 dollar bed with racing strip sheets left behind.
· It has spectacular views of Dog Balls Islands.

Neighbours:
· Duritz’s creditor
· Lewis Taylor (pic of hobbit hole and house)

Items left in house by former owner:
· Bookie sheets
· Beer kegs.
· Microphone from a previous Brownlow medal night.
· Faecal matter left in the left stairwell flight by previous tenant.
· Has 42 ceramic bathtubs in the basement used for brewing some unknown chemicals.
beer.jpg
Benefits of Cockburn Island suburbs:
· No Jose.
· Only one Boydshow, soon to be removed by concerned residents.
· No Richmond supporters.
· No tv reception of channel Seven between 5:30 a.m. and 9:00 a.m.

Interested Sellers:
· Mike Gatto
· Shane Warne Foundation for money laundering and to a create pie shop to feed Warnie.

Benwah83 , boydshow , DapperJong , hazard , Dinsdale , Duritz , Red mist , Stronzo and TootToot!
 

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Challenge #9 entry


"But Starry, I'm a mod mate, just like you, and my entry was the best! You know it was, you said so yourself!"

"He was bullshitting you Chappy, mine was clearly the best!" Said hazard, as Starburns_ snuffed out Chappy's flame with a yawn and a scratch of his arse.

"Ok, tribes are merged. Next challenge." Murmured Starburns. Who seemed to have missed his wheetbix that morning. "Your next challenge is to make the next challenge."

The brilliance of this turn of events hung in the air for a brief moment, causing even boydogs to cease caressing the sex doll he had fashioned out of coconuts, palm fronds and hippo flesh.

"Does this mean I get to emulate you Starburns!?" Came the excited question from boydogs, with one hand on what appeared to be the disintegrating genitals of his doll.

"To enter the challenge, you must start with the words: “Challenge #9 entry”.

Once you have posted your entry, it cannot be modified. Mods can see edit histories..." Came the pre-recorded message from the tribal arena PA system.

Starburns had vanished.

Boydogs stayed behind to hear the rest of the message, but everyone else took it as their cue to leave.

The merged tribe arrived back at the tribe Cotchin camp where laptop computers were waiting for us to work on the next challenge.


Challenge #10

In today's fast paced modern world it's hard work trying to keep up with reports, PMs from dipshits, divvying shit threads, moderating one of Australia's largest forums as well as run a Survivor contest.

Task

Your task will be to find a guest presenter for one challenge of Survivor Bay13.

They can be anyone from anywhere on the site, but obviously the more recognised, respected, neutral or downright left of field, the more likely you will be to winning the task.

The BF poster/mod/admin that you chose must agree to host one challenge and be available to set a challenge of their choosing then judge which survivor contestant has won #impunity


The Rules

You cannot choose someone who has been eliminated from this years Bay Survivor.

To enter the challenge, you must start with the words: “Challenge #10 entry”.

Once you have posted your entry, it cannot be modified. Mods can see edit histories.

If you break this rule or post incorrectly, you will be disqualified from the round.

This round will close at 8pm Thursday AEDT, if you don't enter, you cannot get #impunity.

The Prize

The best entry will be granted #impunity.



TootToot! Stronzo Red mist Kangaroos4eva Dinsdale Duritz Benwah83 hazard DapperJong
 
Glenn ****in Ridge every day of the week
 
Challenge #9 entry.

Membership packs for each club have usually been delivered by now. Members end up opening their pack eagerly and then deflate as they get the same old items. A Home game pass, Hat, pin and sticker.:drunk: I want more bang for my buck!!!:mad: There's so much more members could receive in their membership packs!:thumbsu::straining:

Task

Being innovative (devious) and industrious (ruthless) floggos here on Bay 13 Survivor you have caught the eye of Marketing and Merchandising depts of the AFL clubs. The Club of your choice has asked you to oversee the design and delivery of their 2017 membership pack.
Things you can do include;
- mode of delivery of the pack to members.
- The package it arrives in. Surely something better than a post pack.
- Game pass. Design an original and unique one. :D Perhaps you can use a template like this
image.jpeg

- Other contents and freebies. Go nuts here and think of some lulzy items to be included for the members of the club you choose.

Rules

Enter the challenge correctly peanuts.
No edits.
You can win if you enter or do really badly and get voted off. If you don't enter you may survive and a good entrant will get boned.

Prize

Immunity is on offer. Don't get it and you are probably going to go to NYC.:rainbow:

Good luck maybe.
 
Benwah83 said:
Challenge #9 Entry

Cockburn is getting an AFL team!

fS5pnjZ.jpg


The denizens of the fetid wasteland that is Cockburn are officially sick and tired of being associated with Ross Lyon and his boring brand of football. They’ve protested in the streets. They’ve tied themselves to goal posts (in the forward line, so there’s minimal risk of them getting hit by footballs…). "WE'RE NOT FREO" they scream at the top of their lungs! They want to go out on their own and have their own AFL team!

They’ve put forward a case to AFL house and Gil, is his infinite (read: drunken) wisdom, is admitting them into the comp for the 2017 season!

Now Cockburn FC needs your help...

Task:

Although the residents of Cockburn managed to get Gil to approve their application for an AFL team in his drunken stupor, the application lacked, well, pretty much everything.

You’ve been at Cockburn for a while now, so should have a good feel for everything that is unique about it. You need to condense that uniqueness and come up with the identity of Cockburn FC for their inaugural season!

You are required to:
  • Identify a suitable mascot for Cockburn, and fully name the team. I.e. “The Cockburn _______”
  • Design them a jumper using the template below.
  • Identify who their inaugural coach and captain will be, and why.
  • To build excitement, they need a marquee signing for their first season. Who will this be, and why?
  • Unfortunately Gil has now sobered up and has realised that a 19 team competition just won’t cut it. So, to help Gil out, identify which team he can remove from the AFL from 2017 onward to make room for Cockburn, and explain why. (Suggestion: You may want to be a bit more creative than ‘Essendon: because they’re drug cheats TROLOLOLOLOLOL’)
Your submission should consider all that is unique about Cockburn, and capture the essence of it to build the identity of the team.

Bonus points may be given for any other details you can provide to build the brand of Cockburn FC as the AFL’s latest franchise. It takes a lot to build a football team...

Jumper template:
9Z5y0m5.png


Rules (in addition to the norm):

No stealing jumper designs from the nerds on the graphics design board. It needs to be an original piece of work (but a lulzy MS paint effort is more than acceptable… and actually encouraged…)

The Prize

The contestant who constructs the most amusing and compelling identity for Cockburn FC wins #impunity.

The contestant with the worst entry will be forced to play full back for them in their inaugural season.
Click to expand...
upload_2016-2-1_18-52-37.png

I had inspiration from freo and fyfe
 
JoseMourinho said:
At some point, the remaining survivors will pick 1 person from NYC to return to the island.

I doubt they'll bring you back given how much of a threat you are since you can win immunity. Cookie and Haduks have not.
Click to expand...

Hate to burst your bubble Jose, but as it stands there will be no reprieves from Not Convicted Island.
 
Challenge #9 entry

The Indian cricket team have recently been running rampant over the Australian team, in the 20-20 version of the game. They wiped us 3-0, including chasing down a total of 197 in the third game. Clearly, the Aussie 20-20 team is in crisis.

However, Gil has had an idea. He was having a kick of the footy with Warnie and they were having a bit of a chat.

"Gil mate," said Warnie, "as you know mate footy players make the best cricketers mate. There's me, there's SOD, I mean the list is endless mate."

"What are you trying to say Warnie?" Asked Gil, shanking another one.

"Mate I'm saying mate that you have a whole bloody competition mate and there's bound to be a couple of stars mate in there. Maybe not as big as me but good enough to help rescue our shitful 20-20 side. Give me four players mate, and we'll win this World Cup."

"What's in it for us great man?" Asked Gil, missing the ball with a handball.

"Publicity mate. Worldwide publicity mate. Just think of it... Four AFL players up in lights in India."

"Yeah..." Muttered Gil, "Imagine the press... Indian kids will all be wanting to pick up a sherrin instead of, instead of whatever ****ing type of ball they kick right now."

"And they'll all have you to thank..." Said Warnie.

"I'll be a hero..." Said Gil.

"Great man?" Asked Gil.

"Yes?" Said Shane.

"I have an idea..."

Task
Scour the ranks of the AFL until you find four players, preferably two batsmen and two bowlers, to help rescue the Aussie 20-20 team from their cricketing doldrums.

Extra points for potentially disastrous player combinations.

You must explain why you chose them, what their cricketing experience is, how they would add to the team, what their "secondary talent" is outside of batting or bowling, and what kind of activities they'd get up to after dark in the dark dens of Delhi.

Hop to it!

Starburns_ you may as well call a halt to this challenge right now.
 

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boydshow said:
Where's the pretty pitchers mate?
Click to expand...

Glad you asked. Gives me a way to say why I didn't have any, without sounding like making excuses... Moving house today and tomorrow, computers all packed up and only have my phone available today and tomorrow. Pretty pitchers next challenge if Telstra don't muck me around...
 
Duritz said:
Glad you asked. Gives me a way to say why I didn't have any, without sounding like making excuses... Moving house today and tomorrow, computers all packed up and only have my phone available today and tomorrow. Pretty pitchers next challenge if Telstra don't muck me around...
Click to expand...
Your creditor found you again?
 
Challenge #9 entry

hello viewer, Dinsdale here with all the information you need for the challenge #10 !!

Task

Since we here on Cockburn Island are so freakin' talented with making gifs and mp3's and stuff, your challenge is to take a current AFL team, sample their club song and record BRAND NEW Lyrics.

Extra points will be given if you include Bigfooty Bay 13 memes, which I'm sure you are all too familiar with ;)

"But Dinsy, thats too hard for anyone except those with exceptional L33T internest skillz" I say dont call me Dinsy or I'll rip your throat out!

But to make it easier, heres something I whipped up using a couple of coconuts and other meagre IT items we have here on Cockburn



The Rules

To enter the challenge, you must start with the words: “Challenge #10 entry”.

Once you have posted your entry, it cannot be modified. Mods can see edit histories and oh boy are they watching your every move.

If you break this rule or post incoherently, you will be disimbobulated from the round.

This round will close at 8pm Thursday AEDT, if you don't enter, you cannot get #impunity.

The Prize

The best entry will be granted #impunity.

TootToot! Stronzo Red mist Kangaroos4eva Duritz Benwah83 hazard DapperJong[/QUOTE]
 
Challenge #9 Entry.

Experts in Public Relations: Cockburn Edition

wCYnAlyl.jpg


The 2016 AFL Premiership season was rocked by the revelations revealed in Patrick Dangerfield’s “Tell All” interview now famously dubbed as the Kamry Krows Korporation Kitten Kicking Katastrophe. The Presidents of the other 16 AFL clubs petitioned the AFL to fold the Adelaide Football Club, using the precedent of Essendon Football Club’s forced folding earlier in the year. On the precipice of the resumption of a sixteen-team competition, the Adelaide Crows pulled off one of the most remarkable public relations campaigns in living memory.

Led by the former Public Relations head at Google, the Adelaide Crows painted themselves as Good Blokes who Go Hard At The Ball And Love Cats. Their image was instantly revived, leading to Tex Walker’s Australian of the Year Award. Adam Goodes weighed in on the award, proclaiming “I truly believe this is the second most important, and most well deserved Australian of the Year since my own.”

5x6p50V.png


Say it with me now: Australian of the Year Tex Walker :$

Gil has given you a tap on the shoulder, and wants you to give Public Relations advice to footy’s finest.

Task
You are going to design your own public relations campaign for an AFL player, personality, or team.

You’re a survivor, so by now you know how to put lipstick on a pig. You need to use your skills to save their image.

The aim of your challenge is to change the public’s perception from (drug cheat/cat kicker/Jack Watts) to (Good Bloke/Little Angel).

OsWQLZ6l.jpg

Clarkson's Little Angel... Butter wouldn't melt!

Your submission should envisage an appropriate propaganda campaign that would effectively save the reputation of one of AFL’s finest.


The Rules

To enter the challenge, you must start with the words: “**** Off Jose.”

Once you have posted your entry, it cannot be modified. Mods can see edit histories.

If you break this rule or post incorrectly, you will be disqualified from the round.

This round will close at 8pm Tuesday AEDT (or precisely 3am if you’re boydshow), if you dont enter, you cannot get#impunity.

The Prize

The best challenge will win #impunity and cannot be voted out at Tribal Council.

The loser will be forced to listen to royals1922 story about why he wears that onion on his belt.

Good luck, campaigners.
 
KP is not going to like seeing pussies being drop punted.
 
hazard said:
I laughed so hard when I thought about a roommate or a family member walking on you singing that at your computer :D
Click to expand...

in truth I only had to sing it 3 times to get it right, it may come as a surprise but I'm not really a good singer :)

The worst bit was going to bed with the Richmond tune in my head...and I only just realised I didn't clip the "heh, Jesus" from the one I posted, so I mocked myself too...
 
Dinsdale said:
in truth I only had to sing it 3 times to get it right, it may come as a surprise but I'm not really a good singer :)

The worst bit was going to bed with the Richmond tune in my head...and I only just realised I didn't clip the "heh, Jesus" from the one I posted, so I mocked myself too...
Click to expand...

your still a real d/h for using Richmond as a target yet again, its getting tiresome, why don't you have a look in the mirror if you want to see a joke you ****wit
 

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Off-topic Bay 13 Survivor: Cockburn (2016). We have a winner! (links in OP)

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