Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!
- Thread starter Kangaroos4eva
- Start date
- Tagged users None
- May 28, 2016
- 17,523
- 26,984
- AFL Club
- Tasmania
- Banned
- #302
Oh yeah you gotta know how to treat a lady.
For instance yesterday I trimmed my fingernails, and as a real treat for the missus tomorrow I might have a shower first.
Incurable romantics. How your womenfolk must swoon.
- May 28, 2016
- 17,523
- 26,984
- AFL Club
- Tasmania
- Banned
- #305
Well la de ****ing dah!
Way to make the rest of us look bad, if mine ever hears about this she will start with all these unrealistic expectations like I start using soap or something.
Percel
Victorian’s love a good potato scallop
what about with my thrice circumcised chilli Szechuan steam clam?
- May 28, 2016
- 17,523
- 26,984
- AFL Club
- Tasmania
- Banned
- #307
Sounds ****ing delicious.
A Cut Above
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 in my lifetime 😁
Percel
Victorian’s love a good potato scallop
pass the dark soy then my good man
Brain Power
Funding Secured
- Sep 5, 2012
- 2,237
- 11,329
- AFL Club
- Hawthorn
- Other Teams
- Chelsea
Challenge #2 entry:
Dear valued Hawthorn member,
As you may know, the AFL have been waging a campaign to kick us out of Tasmania in order to relocate the Kangaroos there permanently. I wanted to reassure you personally that we have no intention of kowtowing to their demands, as we believe that the Hawthorn Football Club has become synonymous with Tasmania. For many locals, their first ever experience of Australian rules football was a Hawthorn match in Launceston. As the Family Club, it is our duty to fight for the families of Tasmania and continue building the legacy we have worked so hard to create.
However, we must take appropriate contingency measures in the event that we are forced out of Aurora Stadium (or whatever it’s called this year) to make room for Norf, which is why we’ve applied for a building permit for a new stadium, which would be located on the outskirts of Launceston and be named ‘Stevic Stadium’.
This name was inspired by a recent online poll of our fans, after we asked you “Who was the biggest and most valuable contributor to our three-peat?” Matt Stevic was the winner, with 27% of the vote, narrowly beating out Matthew Nicholls and Josh Gibson. On an unrelated matter, we are currently investigating claims that the online poll may have been tampered with by online trolls and opposition club supporters.
Our proposed new stadium has several advantages over our existing facilities at Aurora Stadium and the MCG for both our players and supporters alike:
1. The centre circle will be replaced by the following picture of Matt Stevic’s face – which will be sure to strike fear into the hearts of opposition players once they realise what they're up against:
2. The turf will be mown into a checkerboard pattern of 50x50 metre squares, as opposed to the usual 10x10 at every other stadium – this will allow umpires to call “Not 15, play on” with plausible deniability on every single opposition kick, since umpires judge the distance of a kick based on the pattern of the turf.
3. In an effort to improve his standing within the game, every single ‘tap-on’ or ‘pressure act’ by Cyril Rioli at Stevic Stadium will immediately result in a free kick. We’ve long said that what he does without the ball is worth a possession, and now he’ll finally get the possessions he deserves.
4. In an Australian first, the stadium will feature poker machines as well as TAB Self Service terminals so you can bet while you bet! This will help the club's bottom line whilst also ensuring that several top opposition talents like Jake Stringer won’t be able to line up against us on the field, as they’ll be busy gambling away their lives and relationships in the stands.
5. Free Wi-Fi will be available at the stadium so that people who clearly have nothing better to do with their lives can log onto social media and post unfunny “Free Kick Hawthorn” memes throughout the game.
6. The stadium will have a capacity of 29,000 seats – an increase of 40% over Aurora Stadium. Of course, being in Tasmania, this means there’s room for 58,000 heads!
And perhaps most importantly, each match at this stadium will be umpired by the “Dream Team” of Stevic, Nicholls and Andrew Stephens, which should lead to lopsided free kick counts and Hawthorn victories. To ensure the integrity of the competition, we have requested that no games be played against the Bulldogs at this venue, lest the umpires face an inexorable conflict of interest.
However, to make this vision a reality, we need your support, as the club has recently fallen on hard times from having to pay out Ty Vickery’s excessive contract. We’re asking you to make a small financial contribution to our stadium project, for which we will enshrine your name within the stadium on a special commemorative wall.
But wait, there’s more! The first 1000 people to donate $150 or more will receive a complimentary signed copy of the limited edition “Luke Hodge:One Club Legend” poster, which we are currently overstocked in due to an unprecedented number of returns. This is truly a once in a lifetime opportunity for both yourself and the club, and I hope you are prepared to embrace it fully.
Warmest regards,
Simon Lethlean
Chief Family Officer
Dear valued Hawthorn member,
As you may know, the AFL have been waging a campaign to kick us out of Tasmania in order to relocate the Kangaroos there permanently. I wanted to reassure you personally that we have no intention of kowtowing to their demands, as we believe that the Hawthorn Football Club has become synonymous with Tasmania. For many locals, their first ever experience of Australian rules football was a Hawthorn match in Launceston. As the Family Club, it is our duty to fight for the families of Tasmania and continue building the legacy we have worked so hard to create.
However, we must take appropriate contingency measures in the event that we are forced out of Aurora Stadium (or whatever it’s called this year) to make room for Norf, which is why we’ve applied for a building permit for a new stadium, which would be located on the outskirts of Launceston and be named ‘Stevic Stadium’.
This name was inspired by a recent online poll of our fans, after we asked you “Who was the biggest and most valuable contributor to our three-peat?” Matt Stevic was the winner, with 27% of the vote, narrowly beating out Matthew Nicholls and Josh Gibson. On an unrelated matter, we are currently investigating claims that the online poll may have been tampered with by online trolls and opposition club supporters.
Our proposed new stadium has several advantages over our existing facilities at Aurora Stadium and the MCG for both our players and supporters alike:
1. The centre circle will be replaced by the following picture of Matt Stevic’s face – which will be sure to strike fear into the hearts of opposition players once they realise what they're up against:
2. The turf will be mown into a checkerboard pattern of 50x50 metre squares, as opposed to the usual 10x10 at every other stadium – this will allow umpires to call “Not 15, play on” with plausible deniability on every single opposition kick, since umpires judge the distance of a kick based on the pattern of the turf.
3. In an effort to improve his standing within the game, every single ‘tap-on’ or ‘pressure act’ by Cyril Rioli at Stevic Stadium will immediately result in a free kick. We’ve long said that what he does without the ball is worth a possession, and now he’ll finally get the possessions he deserves.
4. In an Australian first, the stadium will feature poker machines as well as TAB Self Service terminals so you can bet while you bet! This will help the club's bottom line whilst also ensuring that several top opposition talents like Jake Stringer won’t be able to line up against us on the field, as they’ll be busy gambling away their lives and relationships in the stands.
5. Free Wi-Fi will be available at the stadium so that people who clearly have nothing better to do with their lives can log onto social media and post unfunny “Free Kick Hawthorn” memes throughout the game.
6. The stadium will have a capacity of 29,000 seats – an increase of 40% over Aurora Stadium. Of course, being in Tasmania, this means there’s room for 58,000 heads!
And perhaps most importantly, each match at this stadium will be umpired by the “Dream Team” of Stevic, Nicholls and Andrew Stephens, which should lead to lopsided free kick counts and Hawthorn victories. To ensure the integrity of the competition, we have requested that no games be played against the Bulldogs at this venue, lest the umpires face an inexorable conflict of interest.
However, to make this vision a reality, we need your support, as the club has recently fallen on hard times from having to pay out Ty Vickery’s excessive contract. We’re asking you to make a small financial contribution to our stadium project, for which we will enshrine your name within the stadium on a special commemorative wall.
But wait, there’s more! The first 1000 people to donate $150 or more will receive a complimentary signed copy of the limited edition “Luke Hodge:
Warmest regards,
Simon Lethlean
Chief Family Officer
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
Veteran
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I'm a mod?
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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- Thread starter
- #313
You can ask him, surely you know how to tag.
El Dubya
Song contest commissioner in exile
- Banned
- #314
northern lights does your goo need chugging sir?
Lord_Flashheart
Chicken Twisty Epicurean
Is that where you kiss your hand for a little bit first?
Edit: saw your reply after this, clearly still in the honeymoon phase
Last edited:
Lord_Flashheart
Chicken Twisty Epicurean
Jesus, I haven’t even had breakfast yet.
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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- #317
I am going to extend the challenge deadline till tomorrow morning 9 A.M., as weekend commitments are a bitch for most.
Farkin hell, mate. They've already had four days. It's not fuggin War and Peace.
Jose? **** off!
I should win #impunity just for the G Incognito joke.
Stronzo
Hall of Famer
Don't worry A campaigner Above, I won't vote for you.
Who would we make gay jokes about if you weren't on the island?
Who would we make gay jokes about if you weren't on the island?
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
Veteran
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- #324
Alright, I got tired of waiting and we are only waiting on one challenge entry, so I may as well award the challenge winners. It was difficult to decide the winners of this one, with quality entries from Brain Power, richoatthedisco and Bosk, which were very close to winning immunity for this round, so I had some help from two other posters in deciding the final challenge winners and to make the whole process a bit more fairer.
Anyway, congratulations:
Floyd
Allikat
and surprisingly, JoseMourinho
Well done again to Floyd, Allikat and Jose, none of you may be voted off at tribal council.
Now it is time to vote for the second flog to leave the island. You will vote by sending me a PM with the name of the flog you want (maximum) gawn, before 8pm tomorrow AEDT, you cannot change your vote either. Once again, this is a free-for-all vote this time around. The teams will be coming into the voting process at the end of the next challenge.
Good luck flogs.
Anyway, congratulations:
Floyd
Allikat
and surprisingly, JoseMourinho
Well done again to Floyd, Allikat and Jose, none of you may be voted off at tribal council.
Now it is time to vote for the second flog to leave the island. You will vote by sending me a PM with the name of the flog you want (maximum) gawn, before 8pm tomorrow AEDT, you cannot change your vote either. Once again, this is a free-for-all vote this time around. The teams will be coming into the voting process at the end of the next challenge.
Good luck flogs.
Last edited:
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
Veteran
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- Thread starter
- #325
