Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!
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Wosh
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- #427
Yea I accidentally quoted when I was reading..my ipad is dying and the touch screen plays up so plenty of f*** ups to fix. New one is on the Xmas list.how weird, this came up in my alerts as you quoting me... or did you do a ninja edit?
anyhow, give me a vote and I'll give you a hug or three
Hugs ey..just give him the idol Kangaroos4eva
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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- #428
What's the point of running a comp if you can't be a little bit corrupt.
The vote is up tonight, still waiting for a couple of them, including Penal's, so we'll decide tonight.
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JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
Challenge Entry #3
After returning from a 1-0 loss to ****ing BASEL. I was ****ing unhappy. So unhappy. We had so many chances and still couldn't put any away.
I climbed up onto a branch and I swear I saw my own football team on the other side. Maybe it was all the alcohol kicking in but who can tell?
I saw Dawn to Dark running around like headless chook like Paul Pogba. He even had his hair bleached too. Still can't even cross a ball properly.
ChappyUK was walking around like he was blind seemingly similar to Daley Blind. Completely unaware of the players beside him.
Brain Power was basically acting like a useless, tall, unco, palm tree which anybody could guess who this is......
Flashheart, Marklar and Smeg Head were acting as strikers. I use this term loosely given that they reminded me of Lingard, Lukaku and Martial who can't even score a ****ing goal against BASEL!
Stronzo and Dinsdale acted like a back 2 with Stronzo built like a wardrobe so he is obviously Smalling and Dinsdale seemed like a little south american boy so he be Rojo.
I haven't seen a team worse than this since Essendon under Hird. ****ing Useless Bastards.... I've been struggling for a name for them all night.....
Hang on... I have a name for them all, ****ING USELESS BASTARDS.
P.S - This entry sucks.
After returning from a 1-0 loss to ****ing BASEL. I was ****ing unhappy. So unhappy. We had so many chances and still couldn't put any away.
I climbed up onto a branch and I swear I saw my own football team on the other side. Maybe it was all the alcohol kicking in but who can tell?
I saw Dawn to Dark running around like headless chook like Paul Pogba. He even had his hair bleached too. Still can't even cross a ball properly.
ChappyUK was walking around like he was blind seemingly similar to Daley Blind. Completely unaware of the players beside him.
Brain Power was basically acting like a useless, tall, unco, palm tree which anybody could guess who this is......
Flashheart, Marklar and Smeg Head were acting as strikers. I use this term loosely given that they reminded me of Lingard, Lukaku and Martial who can't even score a ****ing goal against BASEL!
Stronzo and Dinsdale acted like a back 2 with Stronzo built like a wardrobe so he is obviously Smalling and Dinsdale seemed like a little south american boy so he be Rojo.
I haven't seen a team worse than this since Essendon under Hird. ****ing Useless Bastards.... I've been struggling for a name for them all night.....
Hang on... I have a name for them all, ****ING USELESS BASTARDS.
P.S - This entry sucks.
Challenge Entry #3
Went for a walk around the island this arvo. Had to get away from the flogs I’m stuck on this beach with. One of these muppets stinks like cheese and calls me M-Seven. He’s got a thing for the letter M and numbers. He calls the others M-Nine, M-Five, etc. I think he’s autistic.
There’s a bloke with the ugliest mug I’ve ever seen, and another fella who won’t stop singing bland, generic, middle-of-the-road pop songs. I mean, there’s passing the time but there’s just so much ‘What’s your favourite four-chord song about being stranded on an island with a bunch of shiteaters?’ a man can take.
There’s an annoying little midget we all keep telling to **** off, to no avail. Another doesn’t know if he’s Arthur or Martha but insists on showing us he’s Willy. And there’s a dude who fair dinkum is the Professor from Gilligan’s Island. Give him a coconut and a palm frond and he’ll build you a Lamborghini. I’ma stick close to this mother****er.
Oh yeah, there’s also a chick who keeps squishing her boobs up against me. She’s awesome.
Anyhoo, went for a walk around to the souf side of the island and came across another group of slack-jawed troglodytes. Talk about ugly, stupid, and dull! Still, they were friendly, and invited me to pull up a pew. Then came the hard sell. The one calling himself Chappyuk siddled up to me. “Mate,” he panted, sweat dripping down his pork-like jowls, his blubbery mass heaving. “Mate. Big fan. Love your work. We want you on our side.”
“Who’s we?” I asked.
“See than bloke there? The fat, slow one?”
“Which fat, slow one?”
“The one who keeps hitting people in the head,” he clarified. “He’s with us. So’s the other fat, slow one. And the other one. We want you and/or the Professor to join us. First one to say yes gets all our coconuts.”
“You don’t have any coconuts.”
“We’re getting some. Trust me.”
“What about that quick, brilliant, bloke with the can of skim milk?” I asked.
“Oh, the raffle winner. He’s a favourite of ours. Brilliant is right. Been around longer than all of us. Absolute tribe legend. I’m gonna murder him in his sleep.”
“Ohhhh-kaaay,” I said, warily.
“Mate. We’re going for an aggressive re-set,” he explained. “That’s why we want you and the Prof. And that’s why – see that tall fella over there? The one who looks a bit like a robot you might find on a deep-space mining ship?"
“Yeah.”
“Awesome fella. Most-loved guy in the tribe.”
“Cool.”
“I’m gonna beat his brains in with a tree branch as soon as his back’s turned.”
“Wow.” I was genuinely scared now. This bloke was off his trolley.
“Yeah. Him and that flashy bloke with the razzle-dazzle. And you get all their coconuts. Go tell the prof.”
“Suuuurrrre,” I said, humouring him. “I’ll be right back.”
I couldn't wait to get out of there. Suddenly, sharing my favourite songs about cheese seemed like a great day out. As I walked off into the bush, I heard the crazed madman screeching triumphantly: “We’ve got him! We’ve got ‘em both! An offer too good to refuse!”
“You sure?” one asked.
“Well, at least we’ve driven his price up. Hey, Stretch. What’s that behind you?”
I shook my head as timber met skull back on the beach. What a bunch of #lolNorfs.
Went for a walk around the island this arvo. Had to get away from the flogs I’m stuck on this beach with. One of these muppets stinks like cheese and calls me M-Seven. He’s got a thing for the letter M and numbers. He calls the others M-Nine, M-Five, etc. I think he’s autistic.
There’s a bloke with the ugliest mug I’ve ever seen, and another fella who won’t stop singing bland, generic, middle-of-the-road pop songs. I mean, there’s passing the time but there’s just so much ‘What’s your favourite four-chord song about being stranded on an island with a bunch of shiteaters?’ a man can take.
There’s an annoying little midget we all keep telling to **** off, to no avail. Another doesn’t know if he’s Arthur or Martha but insists on showing us he’s Willy. And there’s a dude who fair dinkum is the Professor from Gilligan’s Island. Give him a coconut and a palm frond and he’ll build you a Lamborghini. I’ma stick close to this mother****er.
Oh yeah, there’s also a chick who keeps squishing her boobs up against me. She’s awesome.
Anyhoo, went for a walk around to the souf side of the island and came across another group of slack-jawed troglodytes. Talk about ugly, stupid, and dull! Still, they were friendly, and invited me to pull up a pew. Then came the hard sell. The one calling himself Chappyuk siddled up to me. “Mate,” he panted, sweat dripping down his pork-like jowls, his blubbery mass heaving. “Mate. Big fan. Love your work. We want you on our side.”
“Who’s we?” I asked.
“See than bloke there? The fat, slow one?”
“Which fat, slow one?”
“The one who keeps hitting people in the head,” he clarified. “He’s with us. So’s the other fat, slow one. And the other one. We want you and/or the Professor to join us. First one to say yes gets all our coconuts.”
“You don’t have any coconuts.”
“We’re getting some. Trust me.”
“What about that quick, brilliant, bloke with the can of skim milk?” I asked.
“Oh, the raffle winner. He’s a favourite of ours. Brilliant is right. Been around longer than all of us. Absolute tribe legend. I’m gonna murder him in his sleep.”
“Ohhhh-kaaay,” I said, warily.
“Mate. We’re going for an aggressive re-set,” he explained. “That’s why we want you and the Prof. And that’s why – see that tall fella over there? The one who looks a bit like a robot you might find on a deep-space mining ship?"
“Yeah.”
“Awesome fella. Most-loved guy in the tribe.”
“Cool.”
“I’m gonna beat his brains in with a tree branch as soon as his back’s turned.”
“Wow.” I was genuinely scared now. This bloke was off his trolley.
“Yeah. Him and that flashy bloke with the razzle-dazzle. And you get all their coconuts. Go tell the prof.”
“Suuuurrrre,” I said, humouring him. “I’ll be right back.”
I couldn't wait to get out of there. Suddenly, sharing my favourite songs about cheese seemed like a great day out. As I walked off into the bush, I heard the crazed madman screeching triumphantly: “We’ve got him! We’ve got ‘em both! An offer too good to refuse!”
“You sure?” one asked.
“Well, at least we’ve driven his price up. Hey, Stretch. What’s that behind you?”
I shook my head as timber met skull back on the beach. What a bunch of #lolNorfs.
Challenge Entry #3
There's always one person that has to leave a team first. A Cut Above made our team proud, going out with a good old melt. But the other tribe... well you can't get rid of boydshow that easily. He'll still be around your tribe, and you'll still have to look after him, even though he's out of the game (for now). We've got rid of our baby, sucks to be you guys. That's why I'm going to call you....
... The Baby-sitters Club
There's always one person that has to leave a team first. A Cut Above made our team proud, going out with a good old melt. But the other tribe... well you can't get rid of boydshow that easily. He'll still be around your tribe, and you'll still have to look after him, even though he's out of the game (for now). We've got rid of our baby, sucks to be you guys. That's why I'm going to call you....
... The Baby-sitters Club
ChappyUK
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Tough to know if you're more obsessed with winning yourself or making sure a Hawk poster doesn't. Prolly a lil' from columns A & B.
I could show you the PMs that show it wasnt even me that raised your name and actually advised against turning it into a shitfight but its more fun watching you melt over the thought that it was all me.
Brain Power
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Challenge #3 Entry:
When I look at the opposition, I don’t see a cohesive tribe, but rather a unit that more closely resembles a bunch of nervous and sweaty 16-year-olds trying to unhook a bra for the first time. While on pingas.
You see, after the recent eviction of one of their key powerbrokers, Malcolm "A Cut Above" Roberts, who was notable for his opposition to same-sex marriage (among various other interesting views), they are in complete disarray, with infighting and disloyalty rampant.
Above all, the prevailing mood around camp was now one of paranoia. The only person who seemed to be immune to this affliction was richoatthedisco, who cut a dishevelled, grizzled figure as he stumbled through the camp. Seemingly without a care in the world, he clearly hadn't showered or changed out of his Richmond guernsey since Grand Final Day. Every now and then he would pause to relay a decidedly inappropriate joke to his tribe, the unmistakable smell of Moet lingering under his breath.
By far the most negatively affected seemed to be El Dubya, who was seated on the beach, rocking back and forth in the sand and muttering to himself. “It’s all that SJW campaigner Waleed Aly’s fault! He’s responsible for this mess!” Clearly distraught at the loss of his fallen comrade, it appeared he was trying to convince himself as much as anyone.
With him on the beach was JoseMourinho, who was wearing his favourite hat (which of course had "Make Good Bloke Island Great Again" proudly inscribed in large gold letters) and building a giant wall of sand on the shoreline. “I’m going to keep the turtles out”, he said. “They’re bringing shells, they’re biters. It’s a yuge problem, and I alone can fix this”.
Floyd on the other hand was sitting quietly by himself in the shelter. “What on Earth did I do wrong in a past life to deserve being stuck with these nutters? They are no match for my intellectual prowess, and those gentlemen on the other tribe are so much smarter than us”, he thought to himself. “And much more handsome to boot”, he continued, a view coincidentally shared by Allikat as well.
And then I made the most damning discovery of all, concerning their apparent leader, the one they call "M7". He looked exceedingly familiar, and at first I merely assumed that he was some sort of famous secret agent or war hero (due to the James Bond-esque codename) who I must have seen on the TV at some point. However, as the days went by, I began to suspect that he looked familiar merely because he was related to (or perhaps just a very convincing lookalike of) someone who is constantly in the public eye. Today, it finally dawned on me:
Pictured: One is a redhead who spends their days dribbling a bunch of absolute nonsense that nobody can understand. The other is a member of the Australian Senate who once owned a fish and chip shop. You be the judge.
There's only one way you can describe such a uniquely dysfunctional family. Thus, the opposition tribe shall henceforth be known as One Nation.
When I look at the opposition, I don’t see a cohesive tribe, but rather a unit that more closely resembles a bunch of nervous and sweaty 16-year-olds trying to unhook a bra for the first time. While on pingas.
You see, after the recent eviction of one of their key powerbrokers, Malcolm "A Cut Above" Roberts, who was notable for his opposition to same-sex marriage (among various other interesting views), they are in complete disarray, with infighting and disloyalty rampant.
Above all, the prevailing mood around camp was now one of paranoia. The only person who seemed to be immune to this affliction was richoatthedisco, who cut a dishevelled, grizzled figure as he stumbled through the camp. Seemingly without a care in the world, he clearly hadn't showered or changed out of his Richmond guernsey since Grand Final Day. Every now and then he would pause to relay a decidedly inappropriate joke to his tribe, the unmistakable smell of Moet lingering under his breath.
By far the most negatively affected seemed to be El Dubya, who was seated on the beach, rocking back and forth in the sand and muttering to himself. “It’s all that SJW campaigner Waleed Aly’s fault! He’s responsible for this mess!” Clearly distraught at the loss of his fallen comrade, it appeared he was trying to convince himself as much as anyone.
With him on the beach was JoseMourinho, who was wearing his favourite hat (which of course had "Make Good Bloke Island Great Again" proudly inscribed in large gold letters) and building a giant wall of sand on the shoreline. “I’m going to keep the turtles out”, he said. “They’re bringing shells, they’re biters. It’s a yuge problem, and I alone can fix this”.
Floyd on the other hand was sitting quietly by himself in the shelter. “What on Earth did I do wrong in a past life to deserve being stuck with these nutters? They are no match for my intellectual prowess, and those gentlemen on the other tribe are so much smarter than us”, he thought to himself. “And much more handsome to boot”, he continued, a view coincidentally shared by Allikat as well.
And then I made the most damning discovery of all, concerning their apparent leader, the one they call "M7". He looked exceedingly familiar, and at first I merely assumed that he was some sort of famous secret agent or war hero (due to the James Bond-esque codename) who I must have seen on the TV at some point. However, as the days went by, I began to suspect that he looked familiar merely because he was related to (or perhaps just a very convincing lookalike of) someone who is constantly in the public eye. Today, it finally dawned on me:
Pictured: One is a redhead who spends their days dribbling a bunch of absolute nonsense that nobody can understand. The other is a member of the Australian Senate who once owned a fish and chip shop. You be the judge.
There's only one way you can describe such a uniquely dysfunctional family. Thus, the opposition tribe shall henceforth be known as One Nation.
JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
It'll keep Penal out not Turtles
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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- #436
Ok, after consulting with the French Connection and The Western Woosh, we have an immunity winner from each team. Vesty and El Hipster came close to victory during this challenge, but there were two clear standouts.
The two immunity winners are Chappyuk and Floyd again. Congratulations, you cannot be voted out by your teammates.
Team Norf is now known as The Biggest Loser Tribe.
Team Souf is now known as The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis
Ok, it is time to vote. The voting will be on a tribal basis with both tribes voting to get rid of one of their own.
For example, The Biggest Loser Tribe members can only vote for someone from The Biggest Loser Tribe. Same with The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis members.
One from each team will be voted off this challenge. You have till Saturday, 9 A.M., as it is draft night tomorrow night and I rather waste my time following that, so you have an extra 12 hours more than normal to get your votes in via PM.
Biggest Loser Tribe:
The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis:
The two immunity winners are Chappyuk and Floyd again. Congratulations, you cannot be voted out by your teammates.
Team Norf is now known as The Biggest Loser Tribe.
Team Souf is now known as The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis
Ok, it is time to vote. The voting will be on a tribal basis with both tribes voting to get rid of one of their own.
For example, The Biggest Loser Tribe members can only vote for someone from The Biggest Loser Tribe. Same with The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis members.
One from each team will be voted off this challenge. You have till Saturday, 9 A.M., as it is draft night tomorrow night and I rather waste my time following that, so you have an extra 12 hours more than normal to get your votes in via PM.
Biggest Loser Tribe:
The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis:
Last edited:
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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- Thread starter
- #437
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TheBrownDog
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- #438
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TheBrownDog
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Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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Smeg Head
Just take a bite
bontshow
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I don't even know which tribe I was on Alli
A Cut Above
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 in my lifetime 😁
FFS I voted YES you bastard!!!
Kangaroos4eva
TheBrownDog
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- #445
Check the op.
A Cut Above
🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 in my lifetime 😁
Sure you had fellow conspirators which totally makes it okay... and maybe I'd believe you but for your reputation of being economical with the truth.
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TheBrownDog
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So you were betrayed then, the nerve of that handbagger.Sure you had fellow conspirators which totally makes it okay... and maybe I'd believe you but for your reputation of being economical with the truth.
ChappyUK
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Pantskyle
Sure you had fellow conspirators which totally makes it okay... and maybe I'd believe you but for your reputation of being economical with the truth.
You might need this.
https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/please-delete-my-account.585550/
