Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!

[A Cut Above]

Challenge #6 Entry

David Schwarz Basil Zempilas and Basil Zempilas’ wife (pictured below) had arrived.

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Basil opened his mouth, ready to speak... Suddenly, craffles appeared with a large rock in hand and whacked Basil in the head with it, possibly knocking him out, more than likely killing him.

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“That bland, vanilla, unfunny campaigner had to **** off m7. Nobody ever found the gag funny, aside from a select group of goo chuggers who run things around here! Plus, I know we’re supposed to show Basil the time of his life but he’ll have more fun if he’s unconscious” craffles said

“Agreed!” Nearly everyone else on the island replied

“I thought he was pretty funny” Said Brain Power

“You would Penal, you flog!” craffles shouted

craffles continued “Now then, let’s all have our way with his mrs and keep her as a sex slave, who wants to have first crack?”

“I’m willing to give anything a go” Allikat replied

“So how are we going to show David Schwarz a good time?” Asked William Wonka

craffles picked up another large rock and walked towards David Schwarz...

“No, that won’t be required craffles m7, I’ve got a better idea... I’ve come up with something action packed to entertain David” Vesty said

Dinner with Shaun Marsh

Entree:

Cheese and ToMarshto Shaundwich

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Dinner:

Marshloaf with Marshroom Sauce and Marshed Potato

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Dessert:

Marshmellow Pie (Delivered by Shaun NewMarsh)

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“That’s for doubting me and banning Vesty from the cricket thread, flog!” Shaun NewMarsh said

Hey Starburns_, I just felt like saying hi for no particular reason. How are things mate?

 

[Brain Power]

Challenge #6 Entry:

A strange foghorn sounded in the distance, and a steamboat emerged from the rolling mist. At first, I assumed this was just K4E coming out to announce some sort of water-themed challenge, so it was a great surprise when the boat docked and it was David Schwarz who stepped off.

David drew a pistol, and immediately started waving it around at us, all the while a huge, hulking figure remained perched on the boat and motionless.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” David bellowed at us. We quickly introduced ourselves and explained that we meant no harm and were merely here for Survivor, after which he holstered his pistol, apologised for the misunderstanding and drew our attention to the creature on the boat.

It looked exactly like Basil Zempilas – but something was wrong. A blank expression was painted across his face, and he looked to have lost all sense of place and purpose. We attempted to communicate with him, but he was unresponsive and lifeless.

We stood there for a moment, fixated on and utterly awe-struck by his nose, for it was so much bigger in reality than on the TV. It was so large that he could comfortably have a smoke while in the shower.

“What’s wrong with him?” Chappy finally asked.

“Allow me to explain”, replied David, beckoning us onto the boat with him.

David lifted up the rear of Basil’s shirt and gestured to a large array of wires, at the centre of which was a switch that was currently set to the ‘OFF’ position.

“You see, when someone decides to become an AFL commentator, they turn into a robot. All their internal organs are replaced by chips and cables, their thoughts and feelings by lines of code. That’s why none of them have any sort of personality whatsoever”.

We nodded, the last six years of commentary suddenly making more sense.

“Unfortunately, this model – known as BasilBot 1.0 – has broken down, and is misfiring badly. Because of this, Gilligan has asked me to take him out to a remote island and dump him in the jungle where he can't hurt anyone and nobody will find him”.

“What do you mean it's broken down? What would happen if you turned it on?” asked El Dubya.

“I’ve had enough of Basil for three lifetimes”, said Dinsdale angrily. “You’re not turning that thing on!”

However, curiosity had gotten the best of most of us, and by a show of hands, we urged David to turn BasilBot on.

“I can show you what he does, but be warned, the results may be unpredictable”, David continued, slowly flicking the switch, his hands trembling.

The creature sprung to life and immediately started repeating some of its programmed lines.

“Daniel Ricciardo’s favourite player is SHUEY!”
“That’s what the Corrs do – run away!”
“Don’t pay the Perryman! He has no Membrey! A Partington and a Petrie!”

“Oh God, turn it off, TURN IT OFF!” I shouted, wincing in pain from the ear-milning I was receiving.

“For ****’s sake, this is even worse than when Jose was here! Shut it down!” added Vesty, which I thought was being a bit unfair to BasilBot.

David graciously obliged, shutting BasilBot off, but it came at a cost. The bot had swung around violently in an attempt to prevent David from shutting it down, which led to David’s groin being impaled on the bot’s massive nose. As a result, he could hardly walk, and was in no way fit to return home.

It took some time, but gradually we nursed David back to health. This process started slowly, with David forced to rest in our shelter while we brought him coconuts, seafood and other island delicacies to keep him nourished.

Eventually, he was fit enough to go hiking with us, and we introduced him to the majestic jungles and mountains of the island. By this point, he was able to finally complete his mission, as we took him to the site of an active volcano, into which he cast the deactivated BasilBot.

But just as we thought he was ready to leave, he made a startling announcement.

“Guys, I’ve decided I want to stay out here a little while longer. The island landscape is so serene, and you guys are the funniest bunch of flogs I’ve ever met. I just love it out here!” he said, tearing up a little.

“But what about your commitments back home? Your family? Your media job?” I asked.

David cracked a wry smile, threw his head back and said “The Ox is slow but the earth is patient”.

 

[richoatthedisco]

Challenge #6 entry

A real Basil of a challenge

I’m beginning to think this is the island from Lost. Stupid, inexplicable shit happens for no reason and it sucks.

For some god-knows-what-reason, David Schwarz appeared this morning.

“I am Jack’s total lack of an idea what I’m doing here,” said David. “I know this because Basil knows this.”

“Would you like some soap?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Dave?”

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake,” he muttered.

“**** this joker,” we all agreed, and started walking away.

“SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!” his giant head demanded.

“Bloody hell,” I said. “Yo, Floyd can you whip up something to entertain this schizo while the rest of us dig a shallow grave?”

“No worries,” said Floyd. “Hey, Basil. Do you like water-skiing?”

“Like it!?” he shrieked. “I love it!”

 

[A Cut Above]

“You see, when someone decides to become an AFL commentator, they turn into a robot. All their internal organs are replaced by chips and cables, their thoughts and feelings by lines of code. That’s why none of them have any sort of personality whatsoever”.

Commentary_Team.lol 0.9 BETA

 

[El Dubya]

Commentary_Team.lol 0.9 BETA

It's a shame we voted you if the island, this is gold.

 

[Dawn to Dark]

So who won ?

 

[Smeg Head]

Challenge #6 entry

Today our esteemed smart and sexy host Kangaroos4eva dropped a steaming bombshell on the tribe, known Shaun Marsh hating flog and all round shit campaigner David Schwarz was being foisted upon us and was demanding a chaperoned tour of the island.

'**** this shit' I said and when back to watching the cricket with all round good bloke RedVest4 on exile island.

 

[Allikat]

So who won ?

Me obviously

 

[Stronzo]

Its really disappointing when contestants fail to handle rejection with dignity. I for one would never go on such a rant after being booted off the island.

Shutup shittruck.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Ok, so there was no official judgement from Woosh or Le Grille and with both of them being from WA, we all know what they are doing atm.

I decided to count El Dub's entry as shit happens and I didn't directly state as a rule that you could not resubmit your actual entry with the proper challenge number because I didn't think anyone would be that stupid as to submit with the wrong challenge number with their challenge, but I digress.

There were a number of good entries, I particularly enjoyed the simplicity and form of Allikat's entry.

After re-examining all the entries and taking into consideration all the entries, as well as Floyd's non-entry and the sheer arrogance of the Biggest Loser Tribe, I have decided to award The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis the (moral) challenge victory.

Congratulations The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis, you don't have to vote anyone out of your team this round.

Now, The Biggest Loser Tribe have until 9 A.M. Thursday morning to submit their votes for who they want out. Just remember that the immunity idol is still in play and can be switched to another contestant, so be careful who you vote for.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

El Dubya
Allikat
RedVest4
richoatthedisco

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

William Wonka
Floyd
craffles

 

[ChappyUK]

EAD.

 

[richoatthedisco]

What a load.

 

[RedVest4]

Of shit

 

[Smeg Head]

EAD.

 

[El Dubya]

Ok, so there was no official judgement from Woosh or Le Grille and with both of them being from WA, we all know what they are doing atm.

I decided to count El Dub's entry as shit happens and I didn't directly state as a rule that you could not resubmit your actual entry with the proper challenge number because I didn't think anyone would be that stupid as to submit with the wrong challenge number with their challenge, but I digress.

There were a number of good entries, I particularly enjoyed the simplicity and form of Allikat's entry.

After re-examining all the entries and taking into consideration all the entries, as well as Floyd's non-entry and the sheer arrogance of the Biggest Loser Tribe, I have decided to award The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis the (moral) challenge victory.

Congratulations The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis, you don't have to vote anyone out of your team this round.

Now, The Biggest Loser Tribe have until 9 A.M. Thursday morning to submit their votes for who they want out. Just remember that the immunity idol is still in play and can be switched to another contestant, so be careful who you vote for.

Kissed on the dick you Greek ****ing pricks.

 

[William Wonka]

I don't do any of the judging really, I leave the judging in the hands of Woosh and Le Grille to make the process a little more fairer.

Fair balanced and impartial.
Kudos.

After re-examining all the entries and taking into consideration all the entries, as well as Floyd's non-entry and the sheer arrogance of the Biggest Loser Tribe, I have decided to award The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis the (moral) challenge victory

What the very ****?

 

[ChappyUK]

Fair balanced and impartial.
Kudos.



What the very ****?

I read 'non entry from Floyd'

#carried.

 

[William Wonka]

I read 'non entry from Floyd'

#carried.

I believe Floyd to pity on you soufers and attempted to make it a more even amount of entries from each team.
He's a sensitive soul who was touched by the pathetic whining you guys were making about being short a couple of numbers.

 

[Floyd]

I believe Floyd to pity on you soufers and attempted to make it a more even amount of entries from each team.
He's a sensitive soul who was touched by the pathetic whining you guys were making about being short a couple of numbers.

Exactly right Will. I looked at the pathetic quality of the soufers, and the vastly superior quality of my own team's entries, and realized there was no point in bothering with an entry this round.

Certainly wasn't because I got confused about the time difference and forgot.

 

[ChappyUK]

Exactly right Will. I looked at the pathetic quality of the soufers, and the vastly superior quality of my own team's entries, and realized there was no point in bothering with an entry this round.

Certainly wasn't because I got confused about the time difference and forgot.

Risky decision.

 

[Dinsdale]

Ok, so there was no official judgement from Woosh or Le Grille and with both of them being from WA, we all know what they are doing atm.

I decided to count El Dub's entry as shit happens and I didn't directly state as a rule that you could not resubmit your actual entry with the proper challenge number because I didn't think anyone would be that stupid as to submit with the wrong challenge number with their challenge, but I digress.

There were a number of good entries, I particularly enjoyed the simplicity and form of Allikat's entry.

After re-examining all the entries and taking into consideration all the entries, as well as Floyd's non-entry and the sheer arrogance of the Biggest Loser Tribe, I have decided to award The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis the (moral) challenge victory.

Congratulations The Long Lost Illegitimate Children of Spiro Kourkourmelis, you don't have to vote anyone out of your team this round.

Now, The Biggest Loser Tribe have until 9 A.M. Thursday morning to submit their votes for who they want out. Just remember that the immunity idol is still in play and can be switched to another contestant, so be careful who you vote for.

finally Good triumphs over Evil, much like Darsh triumphs over Root.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

What a load.

Of shit

Kissed on the dick you Greek ******* pricks.

Fair balanced and impartial.
Kudos.



What the very ****?

I believe Floyd to pity on you soufers and attempted to make it a more even amount of entries from each team.
He's a sensitive soul who was touched by the pathetic whining you guys were making about being short a couple of numbers.

Exactly right Will. I looked at the pathetic quality of the soufers, and the vastly superior quality of my own team's entries, and realized there was no point in bothering with an entry this round.

Certainly wasn't because I got confused about the time difference and forgot.

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Fair balanced and impartial.
Kudos.



What the very ****?

There was no Woosh and Le Grille online to help with the decision this time around as they had better things to do, like meth, so take it up with them.