Is Patty Paddy's sister?Rubbish. There's plenty you can do Chief, plenty.
Get a membership. Head down to training and support your club. Cheer wildly, scream and howl encouraging statements. Make a banner- you can even borrow mine if you like ("Patty Dow? Patty NOW!!!"). Wave a flag (the players love flags). Head to the game and vigorously gesticulate from over the fence- football players are stupid remember, sometimes they need members of the audience to point out the direction of the goals. Sit in the cheer-squad and hold up a target for Charlie Curnow to aim for. Yell "BALL!!!!!!" at every stoppage. Abuse the umpires- they're campaigners and deserve it anyway- and also you never know when the pressure will get to them and they'll pull a free kick out of their collective arses (happens every week). You like bush Chief? Kate Bush? Make a deal with God innit, Sunday morning on your hands and knees, works for billions of people all over the world, maybe it will work for you too! Just make sure you pray strenuously, deeply, and earnestly, because I'm doing the same... I even learned black magic last week, I'm making voodoo dolls now. Getting the pins ready, manifestation baby! And next Tuesday I'm going to sacrifice a goat!!
Every little bit helps!!!!!