Media Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 39

[Tonga Bob]

How much do we love free kick stats? THIS much!

You'd thing that after nine seasons I'd get sick of running the Free Kick Count thread aye?



That's right nerds, for the tenth season in a row your host (me) will be feeding you stats akimbo from the qumpire's kitchen. Not just stats though. Analysis, good God almighty there will be analysis. Here's the official blurb:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball displaces that emotion from umpires to the sim. One way to look at this is a free kick differential, which aggregates free kicks over a period of time and shows which teams receive more than others.

My Free Kick Table takes this one step further, and aggregates the impact of free kicks on a game-by-game basis to see who won the free kick count in each game. So pretty much what would happen if you replaced goals and points scored with free kicks received and conceded."

And what is the end result of the aforementioned analysis? Prizes dummy. I got prizes. The team that finishes the home and away season on top of the Free Kick Table wins the coveted Silver Whistle Trophy. And those individuals that catch the eye of the qumpires for either good or bad reasons will be in the running for individual gongs such as the Little Spoon Trophy for the player with the most free kicks received in the season or the Big Spoon Trophy for the player that concedes the most frees in the season.

So with only a little bit of further ado I present to you the Free Kick Table for season 39.​

 

[Tonga Bob]

Here's the updated season board up from when I joined the league (ie: when the league really started) until the end of last season.


Loonerty Elton Johns Wig Robertio MP_ Millky95 Cap Pugsley StFly Bradesmaen Brick Loosener damicky moginie Wosh tigs2010 ClarkeM Senor M zackah crazywildhorse Frothies Mcveigh cats_09 Mrs Turbo ​

 

[Tonga Bob]

And here's a compilation of all the tables from all the seasons.

This is season 29, Roy won this:



This is season 30, Gumby won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 30

I learned many things about the SFA last season: That it exists; That it's a community of many campaigners with many different personalities from all walks of life (and that's just TJASTA); That the sim is an evil sentient genius that, underneath its randomness has patterns that it forms; That...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 31, Roy won again:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 31

*fanfare noises* Hello nerds. Welcome back here to the SFA, and welcome to our rookie group for the very first time. The municipality of Sweet is buzzing in anticipation in this the first round of season 31! There's a lot to get excited about - the banter, the camaraderie, the quality media...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 32, Furie won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 32

Hello nerds! In what has quickly become a highlight of the SFA season, Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ) is once again delighted to present to you the Free Kick Table for season 32! For those of you that are either new to the SFA or have repressed any memory of its existence...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 33, Bomber won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 33

Yo nerds, guess what? [unrealistic pause for a reply that will never come] I may be with captaincy this season, but that's not gonna stop me from getting back on my bullshit by giving you the stats that you neither requested nor craved. That's right - the Free Kick Table returns for season 33...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 34, Delon won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 34

We're back, babey!!!!! That's right, one of Sweet's longest currently running statistically-laden media pieces is now in its fifth season as the Free Kick Table returns for season 34 thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)!!! Here's the now customary...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 35, Sinner won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 35

You said it, Ray. I'm sure that you're pleased to find out I'll be doing my now adored and highly anticipated* Free Kick count in season 35. Six seasons deep, this piece of media buffoonery comes to you from thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 36, Wazza won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 36

free kick (noun - /ˌfriː ˈkɪk/): in football, an opportunity to kick the ball without the other team getting involved, allowed when a player from the other team has not obeyed one of the rules. How good are rules hey nerds? They frickin' rule!!!! pun absolutely intended Welcome back to the...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 37, Wazza went back to back:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 37

We love qumpires. Like simmers, match posters, Committee members, club captains, stats collectors and Mrs Turbo the qumpires do a thankless task that is either criticised or ridiculed. But not here at Bob's Stats. Here we celebrate qumpires, and for the eighth season running Bob's Stats proudly*...

www.bigfooty.com

This is season 38, OOFs won this:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 38

[pictured - qumpire Mike Chamberlain & philreich having a moment] Greeting fan of officiating, I come to you with a ninth serving of Sweet's most convoluted case of number-wrangling. Yes, I'm afraid to tell you that The Free Kick Table returns for season 38. And it's a bittersweet edition this...

www.bigfooty.com

And this is a compilation of the compilation:

​

 

[grumbleguts]

With you being so focussed on free kicks, I'm surprised you haven't had a career selling wood.

Have you ever thought about trying to sell wood?

 

[Tonga Bob]

With you being so focussed on free kicks, I'm surprised you haven't had a career selling wood.

Have you ever thought about trying to sell wood?

Sure, why not?

 

[Braklet]

With you being so focussed on free kicks, I'm surprised you haven't had a career selling wood.

Have you ever thought about trying to sell wood?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

 

[Tonga Bob]

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Seven.

 

[Braklet]

With you being so focussed on free kicks, I'm surprised you haven't had a career selling wood.

Have you ever thought about trying to sell wood?

I choose to keep mine, thanks.

 

[Tonga Bob]

"Have you heard this one? A moth goes into a podiatrist's office..."​

Happy Friday nerds. Well round 1 has come and gone, so it's time to see what the qumpires got up to.



Five wins and a draw kick off season 39 with the Swamprats, Bombers, Hawks, Bears & Demons all on the right side of the qumpires. The Sin Citizens had the biggest margin with a 18-10 win over the Ophidians, the Dees got the most frees (22) in their 2-kick win over the Gumbies, the Bombers got 60% of the frees in their loosely-adjudicated 9-6 win over the Royals as did the Hawks (15-10 over the Warriors) while the Vegans edged the Furies 13-10 and the Roys & Dragons couldn't be split at 11 each. The Wonders meanwhile have an extra week to butter up the officials.

The Bears were the only team to win both the qooty & the free kicks at home, while the Rats were the only other team to have a double victory and the East Siders were the only other team to have a free kick win at home. The Warriors & Royals on the other hand were the only teams to win their qooty matches without the help of the qumps.

As far as the individual results went, read on...

​

60% of the Hawks frees for were given to one person - the cricket-mad PhenomenalV1 who takes an early lead in the Little Spoon. Swamprat BloodySwan is in hot pursuit though, registering eight frees for to sit in second place. Ljp86 & moginie are tied in third on five, while Crimson Azure & MWPP are a kick further back to round out the top five.

​

Three people conceded four free kicks to lead the Big Spoon - supreme overlord Chief, Gumbies smiling assassin ossie_21 and porcine Warriors centreman Piggy Smalls. One kick behind them sit a veritable rouges' gallery - DERRINALPHIL DinoSoar Dinsdale Falconista FootyGuy13 Iva Bigun Membling nobbyiscool philreich Proper Gander & sante.

Early days to be sure, but the competition for the 13th-15th most coveted prizes in the SFA is already hot as balls! Stick around to see how it all plays out.

 

[Crimson Azure]

Crimson Azure, now there’s a name you can set your watch by.

 

[PhenomenalV1]

the cricket-mad @PhenomenalV1

Grr.

 

[ossie_21]

This just proves that the umqires in our game were corrupt

 

[Dinsdale]

This just proves that the umqires in our game were corrupt

Umqires > qumpires

 

[Tonga Bob]

"...and there's a fresh one if you mouth off again!"​

Hey there nerds, time to see what mischief the qumpires inflicted upon the SFA last week.



Three teams remain with a perfect record after two rounds - the Swamprats (who defeated the Bears 12-8), the Hawks (who beat the Bombers 16-15) and the Demons (who beat the Old Boys 12-11). The Roys & Dragons, who drew in round one, are the other undefeated teams after overcoming the Royals (20-16) and the Wonders (14-12) respectively. That loss for the Wonders after a first round bye sees them jump four spots on the ladder as one of five teams without a win or draw (the Gumbies, Furies, Royals & Old Boys being the others). The final game of the round saw the Warriors claim their first win of the season, 14-10 over the Gumbies.

Of the top three the Sin Citizens are the only team to convert their free kick wins to qooty wins (as have the Rouys with their free kick win & draw), the East Siders lost both qooty games despite winning both free kick counts (as have the Dragons with their free kick win & draw) and the Dees split their qooty results. The Bombers & Warriors meanwhile have Freaky Friday'd their results by winning the qooty but losing the frees and vice versa in their two games, which the Wonders have also done with their one game. And the Warriors, Demons, Roys & Swamprats all enjoyed home free kick wins.

As for the Spoons...

​

Rasslin' Hawk PhenomenalV1 picked up three frees for to extend his Little Spoon lead to four, after BloodySwan ate a doughnut which allowed the chasing pack of Ljp86 moginie & T2B_ to join the Sinner in second place.

​

The car boot transporter grumbleguts conceded a majestic five free kicks in round two to shoot to the Big Spoon lead. New Old Boy philreich conceded three for the second week in a row to stand alone in second, while the Gang of Six in Chief Dinsdale GWS Goose norway blue ossie_21 & Piggy Smalls are all in joint third place, two kicks off the lead.

Until next week whistle blowers and whistle lovers.

 

[grumbleguts]

The car boot transporter grumbleguts conceded a majestic five free kicks in round two to shoot to the Big Spoon lead.

Hey! I also have a trailer, and permanent membership at the city dump.

It's also not my only hobby.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Hey! I also have a trailer, and permanent membership at the city dump.

It's also not my only hobby.

Yeah but it's the one most likely to put you on a watch list.

 

[grumbleguts]

Yeah but it's the one most likely to put you on a watch list.

Like the Lord of the Rings trilogy? That was on my watch list until I watched all of them the day they were released in the cinema. Can't wait until I am released...

 

[Tonga Bob]

Like the Lord of the Rings trilogy? That was on my watch list until I watched all of them the day they were released in the cinema. Can't wait until I am released...

If you keep conceding five free kicks a game then you may be in for a wait.

 

[ossie_21]

LIFT, GUMBIES!

Get angry

 

[Tonga Bob]

LIFT, GUMBIES!

Get angry

Damn you're keen, you lot have conceded the most free kicks of any team after two rounds and you're wanting more?

 

[Tonga Bob]

"It's fun to stay at the..."​

Happy Friday nerds, time to once again talk about the free kick thing. Here's what's shaking...



The Swamprats and the Demons lost their first free kick counts for season 39, doing down 10-15 to the Furies and 6-13 to the Bears respectively. This means that the East Siders have the only perfect record after three rounds after they knockd off the Roys 17-15. The Dragons are still undefeated as well with a win, a draw and a bye for their efforts. The Royals jumped a bunch of spots after their first win of the season as it was a huge one, 24-12 over the winless Wonders. Elsewhere the Old Boys pipped the Warriors 2-20 and the Gumbies also got their first win of the season thanks to a 18-15 win over the Bombers.

The Sinners, the Furies & the Vegans are the three teams where the qooyt & free kick results have matched each other, while the Warriors and Hawks are the only two teams where every qooty result has been different to the free kick result.

The Bears & Royals are getting the rub of the qumpiring green at home while the Wonders & OOFs cop it from officialdom at the Colosseum & Spotswood respectively. The Bears, Swamprats & Royals are making the most of favourable qumpiring while the Warriors are motching qooty wins in spite of suspect officiating, and the Hawks are squandering their chances to convert favour from the qumps with winning qooty games.

As for the Spoons...

​

Royal Crimson Azure was a direct beneficiary of the good fortune the qumpires gave his team, picking up seven frees for to join Hawk all-rounder PhenomenalV1 atop the Little Spoon standings on 14 kicks each. They are three ahead of Swamprat BloodySwan and another who got seven frees for in Warrior spudmaster, while the trio of cats_09 Irish BlueBagger & Scythe94 are all a further kick behind the Swan and the spud.

​

On the other side of the competition we have a three way tie for the Big Spoon lead, with last week's leader grumbleguts being joined by Gumby returnee nobbyiscool & The Scandinavian Bomber norway blue all on eight frees against. Four people are a conceded kick behind the leading trinity - eth-dog GWS Goose Phar Ace & Piggy Smalls.

Riveting as heck aye. Well hold on to that excitement like it's a goal post as we will take a look at round 4 an about a week's time.

​

 

[BloodySwan]

They don't call me BloodyJoelSelwoodSwan for nothing

 

[cats_09]

So, you're telling me I have some umpire bribing to do to go back to back with the frees for recognition...

 

[nobbyiscool]

View attachment 2231623​

On the other side of the competition we have a three way tie for the Big Spoon lead, with last week's leader grumbleguts being joined by Gumby returnee nobbyiscool & The Scandinavian Bomber norway blue all on eight frees against. Four people are a conceded kick behind the leading trinity - eth-dog GWS Goose Phar Ace & Piggy Smalls.

This is the only award I care about.

 

[grumbleguts]

I'm too lazy to win any other award, but this one, I can simply poke a guy in the throat as he wanders past.

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come fourth so I wouldn't have to climb the podium.