Boringest player in the NBA

[Scallop Industry Thug]

3 categories. Personality, floor game, meta-narrative (i.e."KG is intense", "JJ Barea is short", "JR Smith is clinically ******ed")

5- Jose Calderon: Horrendously efficient. Barely gets off the ground. Only makes news when he less than horrendously efficient.

4- Ryan Gomes: Glue guy who does the little things that are so little, nobody has ever seen him do them. Shoots mid range mostly, at a middling percentage. Described as a "political centrist".

3- Wilson Chandler: At least when he was a Knick, his terrible shot selection made him a talking point. Now that's been toned back and he has to play in a normal offense...I have completely forget who I was talking about and why I was talking about them. Sorry.

2- Nick Collison: That OKC player. Nah not Durant, Not Westbrook either. The big one. Nah not the perpetually snarly one with the bulldog face. Nah not the one who's the most emphatic shotblocker in the league. Yeah the white dude PF. Who just sets picks, rotates well and plays fundamentally sound basketball. Yeah I can't believe Indiana havent offered him 60m/5 yrs either.

1- Marvin Williams: Flat out the boringest player in the league. Shoots mainly mid range jumpers at an ok percentage. Does all the other things ok, without excelling or failing in any. No personality to speak of. Even his meta-narrative (of him being massive flop) goes mainly unreported. Presumably because nobody, other than me it seems, notices anything about Marvin remotely justifying a need to write about him.

Near misses:

Bogut- Face it. Other than the imaginary handshake and shot blocks, he is incredibly vanilla. Decent post scorer, great fundamentals, good passer.

Bellinelli- A Euro guard without Manu's craftiness, Rudy's arsiness, Parker's speed and is equally unspectacular at shooting and driving.

 

[matty lloyd the champ]

Battier is boring as hell, his defence is good but on offence, he parks his arse in the corner waiting for only when he is wide open to shoot the corner three.

 

[Borgsta]

Love the killing of the English language with the heading.

I think Gilbert Arenas 2011 edition would have to go close.

Surprised there was no Hawes.

 

[aaronm46]

brilliant op

3- Wilson Chandler: At least when he was a Knick, his terrible shot selection made him a talking point. Now that's been toned back and he has to play in a normal offense...I have completely forget who I was talking about and why I was talking about them. Sorry.

.

lol'd

 

[peternorth]

jason smith (boring name)

 

[Vegas.]

2- Nick Collison: That OKC player. Nah not Durant, Not Westbrook either. The big one. Nah not the perpetually snarly one with the bulldog face. Nah not the one who's the most emphatic shotblocker in the league. Yeah the white dude PF. Who just sets picks, rotates well and plays fundamentally sound basketball. Yeah I can't believe Indiana havent offered him 60m/5 yrs either.

lol'd.

I'm gonna nominate Dwight. Their offense is bland as hell, Dwights post moves are ugly as ****, too many FT's, and too many 3 balls (I'm a sucker for the mid range game). Makes up for a it with some good D, but again, I'd rather watch great team D than individual greatness. For the record, he is my MVP this season.

 

[sblack]

Love the killing of the English language with the heading.

I think Gilbert Arenas 2011 edition would have to go close.

Surprised there was no Hawes.

Hawesome is somewhat interesting. Likes to get adventurous with his image. 90s flatop ftw.

He also has a Hawesome nickname.

Sucks as a player though.

 

[Starlin Castro]

Gilbert Arenas 2011 edition is a good suggestion.

 

[Spriteftw3]

Hawesome is somewhat interesting. Likes to get adventurous with his image. 90s flatop ftw.

He also has a Hawesome nickname.

Sucks as a player though.

Shit nickname get his own imo

 

[peternorth]

re: arenas. funky wants boring players not shit

 

[sblack]

Shit nickname get his own imo

Hawesome in the league for longer than Tywon.

 

[Look2Me4Guidance]

This is tough. Duds give you LULZ, so to have a boring player you need someone who isn't a bona fide spud but isn't a star either.

Therefore I nominate Mehmet Okur.

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

Therefore I nominate Mehmet Okur.

A footer with a feathery touch who married a 14 year old beauty queen?

 

[Super Hans]

Blake griffin

 

[peternorth]

luke walton

 

[Look2Me4Guidance]

A footer with a feathery touch who married a 14 year old beauty queen?

I thought boring was restricted to on court exploits only?

 

[hayes]

Yeah has to be Marvin Williams. All I ever see him do is shoot midrange jumpers with the occasional three.

 

[sblack]

Elton Brand. Straight up, undersized, fundamentally sound. Just gets the job done despite being on a plethora of really average teams. 2 trips to the playoffs in 15 years.

 

[Borgsta]

re: arenas. funky wants boring players not shit

The 2011 edition is both shit and boring as hell. Seriously he does nothing on court and now doesn't even have his funny blogs.

 

[pumpter]

He's going to be a Hall of Famer, but i've always found watching Tim Duncan incredibly boring. He's so efficient that he should be German. The only thing that matches his boring game is his post-game interviews.

 

[Borgsta]

yeah but he has POP in his corner giving the thumbs up so it makes him interesting.

 

[peternorth]

andrew gaze

 

[Bourky23]

He's going to be a Hall of Famer, but i've always found watching Tim Duncan incredibly boring. He's so efficient that he should be German. The only thing that matches his boring game is his post-game interviews.

agree.

absolute ****ing gun but he does nothing for me.

 

[ExTasDeeMan]

Vintage Boring: Joe Dumars

 

[hamG]

Well, I never thought Marvin would be named at the top of anything.

He's had a stupid problem with his hands his whole career, he literally drops the ball when he attacks the rim. He's actually very good at drawing fouls ... when he doesn't drop the ball. I've given up wondering what is wrong with him, however he is a brilliant shot and a freakish athlete. Still holding out for the day his hands become un******ed.